CHAPTER TWO: My Friends are in My Reflection
Warning: chapters will be switching parts like a one man show. I repeat, chapters are prone to switching/adding/deleting parts.
-.-.-.-
The stories of treasures and unkowns, magic and heroics entranced her when she first heard the small whisper of men who lost their lives to the gaping arches and light filled gates.
The young, ignorant girl looked up at the swaying tree through a curtain tangled red hair.
Alone. Forgotten.
She wondered if she will one day find what millions of others did not.
-.-.-.-
Crystallized eyes of fire, red hair whipping in the wind, flushed, angry cheeks, and excited, crazed smiles.
That was how Kougyoku should always seem. Not a shaking prey under a shelter of naive feeling of safety, but a worthy predator who hunts.
It only happens at night, where she practices with her sword alone. The little princess never seemed to be able to bring that energy when fighting with the swords master or during training with the other palace children.
He knew she always had it. Ever since that first night of anger, she became addicted to the sword, a new obsession with power and purpose, the exhilaration with existing. And he watched.
Watched her fall and get up. Repair herself and destroy monsters of hay and wood with a wooden sword. Watched her until it became a habit to watch, until one day he didn't even notice he was.
Counting the girl's every step as she cut down dummy after dummy, Judar decided that he wanted to see her defeat someone real. And that thought came true, when the sword master's carelessness around her reached to a point where Kougyoku finally snapped.
She looked like a dancer, it seemed. Rather unrefined, lacking grace, but full of force and will. Agility, power, intuition. She had it all. A bit still unskilled, a bit inexperienced, it didn't matter as she held her sword tip to the sword-master's throat. Through a bit a luck, a bit of fate, and a part of the master's own disregard to the young girl, she won.
It was like watching a rabbit devour a fox, or a moon swallow the sun.
Judar knew then, that he would make her into a chess piece for his own use. And he soon did, not long after that first victory for Kougyoku, when he reached out his hand to the girl with layers of masks and silk, a mystery to everyone but him.
-.-.-.-
Being sixteen meant change. This was the age where girl will soon (very soon) become woman, and the warning of no more childish tolerance or favor any longer was sent when she took off her jade bracelet she had worn ever since she was young.
Kougyoku was gaining respect as a decent swordsman, but still had a long way to go in order to gain a voice.
Judar saw his chance immediately. In fact, he didn't even need to go after it.
"I want to conquer a dungeon," Kougyoku said.
Faking surprise, Judar asked, "Why's that?"
"No one will look down on me any longer after I conquer a dungeon and become a king vessel. I could help this country as well. With a djinn spirit, my strength will grow," the princess exclaimed with a determined huff.
"Even after more than thousands of men have died for one?"
"Yes."
Grinning with all white teeth and crimson eyes, Judar pinched one of her cheeks. "I knew you were strong."
She glared and attempted to stab his offending hand with her hair pin while he quickly withdrew, used to the princess's violent reactions ever since she turned into a teen. She hated being patronized, especially since Judar did it all the time. Still, she smiled at the compliment.
She was strong.
And he knew just the dungeon for her.
A sharp spire twisting high into the sky, piercing the atmosphere, towering over a churning sea. Desolate and dark, the waves battering against its pillars and base, leaving tears to drip down until the next wave.
Kougyoku watched from the air, accompanied with ten soldiers, Ka Koubun, and Judar. She remained composed, but a crushing weight landed heavily on her chest as she watched the tower. It was too close to herself, too similar.
She didn't hear words, expressions or voices. She only heard the ocean sending itself crashing over and over against the cracked, marble building, caught in a hopeless battle with the seas.
The last thing she heard before entering the portal of light was Judar, saying, "Looks like you, huh?"
-.-.-.-
Reflection, tell me who I am.
Mirror, tell me what I am.
Sheets of gold and silver, tell me where I am.
Please, anyone, tell me why am I here.
-.-.-.-
When she became fourteen, a girl still, Kougyoku had one wish in mind. She fidgeted nervously with her kimono, wiping her sweating hands in anticipation.
'This is it.'
Kougyoku saw a few young, newcomer maids standing by at the side of the cobblestone road beside the courtyard flowers, laughing and speaking freely to one another. The air smelled sweet, the sky clear and blue. What a wonderful day, the princess smiled. She walked closer to the women and asked in curiosity, composing her face to hide her racing heart.
"What are you guys talking about?"
The women looked up and stuttered, bowing their heads with folded hands, "Princess!"
Walking closer, the young princess did not notice the shaking of the maids. "What were you talking about?" Kougyoku asked again, still trying to not seem as nervous as she really was, hiding her own shaking hands in her long, silken sleeves.
"I-it is of no importance and unworthy of your ears! Pl-please excuse us," One maid said frantically before bowing and scurrying away, the other two following. Soon, they would regal the other new maids of facing the cold eighth princess Kougyoku.
But the princess herself stood there for a very long time. She had become used to it. In fact, she had tried many times before to laugh with friends, speak with others, share secrets and make promises, that disappointment came inevitably after reality slammed in like a tidal wave.
She had stopped crying in front of others. But the mask she nurtured still scared people away.
The sky was a clear, fresh blue that day. Infinite in every direction with no clear boundary, wrapping around everything.
There was a second chance that day.
Clearing her throat, she said casually to the boy sitting on the balcony above, "It's nice to have friends, ne?"
'Act natural, act natural...'
Judar stopped chewing his peach long enough to ask in disbelief, "You have friends?"
A bit anxious now, she said with a small timid smile, "Well, aren't we friends?"
'We are, aren't we? You saved me when I was down and beaten, and you pulled me up. You made me stronger and able to speak for myself. I'm happy around you and that's what friends are, right?' Kougyoku thought fervently, praying with clasped hands in a death grip.
Snorting in derision while tossing the peach pit away, uncaring of where it landed, he waved a lazy hand in the air as if warding off her stupidity. "I'm not friends with someone like you."
'You helped me in so many ways, and you laugh, and smile so freely, and...'
'Ah. Not-friends'. "Okay," she said with a smile. "I'll see you later then."
She walked away as dignified as she could, embarrassed tears forming in her eyes while she surprised herself with the burning hurt drilling itself out from inside her angular heart.
After all, what would a nocturne know about light, when they never seen the sun?
During her training with Ka Koubun, a butterfly flew at the corner of her eye. When the girl turned to follow, thinking perhaps it could take her away, it vanished amongst the vibrant, colorful flowers in the distance, blending in with everything else.
"Hey, Ka Koubun."
"Yes Princess?"
"Are you my friend?" Kougyoku clasped her arms over her folded legs, curling in on herself. Rocking back and forth on a sinking boat with cracked boards and filled with holes.
"You've trying to associate with the servants in the palace again, haven't you? I told you, they are unworthy of your status and upbringing. As a Princ -"
Kougyoku tuned him out, and looked up at the sky. It was clear and blue, a silken azure cap for the world. An ocean above in the air, where storms could rage and also calm. A divider of earth and universe.
"Nevermind Koubun."
-.-.-.-
Just because she wanted to do something didn't mean it would succeed.
Just because she wanted something didn't mean she would get it.
Because the world couldn't be that way. The sun would gulp down gullets of moons, even if one managed to swallow the sun.
-.-.-.-
The light danced everywhere, encircling her body, wounding tighter and tighter. Her life slipped gently from her hands, trying to escape into the brightness before she dropped into empty space atop a glowing circle in a pillar of shimmering air.
Earth. A blue and green beauty, looking so far away, but familiar.
She had past beyond the boundary of sky. Beyond the Earth and into the Universe. A grin spread across her face as her eagerness jumped inside her heart before everything descended back into light. In a splash, she suddenly landed on her hands and feet in shallow water, blinded again, this time by the darkness.
A dark, cold expanse with a high ceiling that dripped water from deep set cracks surrounded her, each drop of water echoing in the isolated room as they landed, creating small ripples in the ankle deep liquid filling the whole floor.
Every slight sound reverberated in the walls. There were no doors, no tunnels and no way out as far as the girl could see. There were only three sculptures of large hands each from equal distance at the edge of the circular room, each with a flat arch covering it from the water drops. Glowing moss from another world covered the walls.
The princess was completely alone.
Sloshing the water around as she walked, the girl looked around. The water from the ceiling started dripping faster, but she didn't notice. Kougyoku had finally seen the scattered bones. Skeletons. So many of them, as if they had all walked into this room and then died without struggle.
That's when she felt the burning.
No one could save her. Kougyoku was alone, alone. Her eagerness evaporated with this revelation, solitude being an old parasite of hers. If only Judar was here. He could use his magic, and perhaps freeze the water so it wouldn't get in and burn like ice.
-.-.-.-
"Friends, huh?" He thought mildly after the princess left. Judar shrugged it off, and reached for another peach. She took things way too seriously. It was her fourteenth birthday, she should lighten up a bit. Perhaps she was also going through the "I want friends stage" he endured for a short time long ago when he was... what was he like before again?
It made him laugh while watching her squirm and become embarrassed at her miscalculations. The princess was sometimes more amusing than the other vessels he had chosen, easy to make fun of and easy to trick. One tug, one nudge, and the house of cards crumbles down.
However, a few days later, he didn't think it funny anymore, "Stop following me everywhere and hanging flowers in my room every single day and sending those dumb cards... What are you doing, trying to kill me?"
Kougyoku blinked before starting boldly, "I know you probably don't see me as a friend and you probably have better and stronger people beside you." She looked anxious and lowered her eyes. "But even so... I still consider you my friend."
She clenched her eyes in fear, not sure what Judar would do. When as the silence continued on, she opened one timid eye.
Only to see his back, slowly moving farther away...
"Eeeh? Hey, I just made a heartfelt speech here. At least reply!" Kougyoku ran to catch up with Judar as he walked, stumbling on her long pink and yellow kimono skirt. He sighed exasperatedly and flicked her forehead.
"Just stop. It's creepy and annoying," he said before continuing on his way, now bored with her.
However, Kougyoku didn't seem perturbed while ambling by his side, smiling a wide happy grin. Judar grimaced at the stupid smile, now completely irritated with her happy aura. Even after he called her creepy and annoying as well. What a weirdo.
Isn't someone who lost their footing supposed to fall instead of rise?
-.-.-.-
Author's note -
I made up everything that happened in Kougyoku's dungeon. I took it a more psychological turn, because isolation and sorrow seems more mental that physical to me. I tried to seem vague on the other trials for the sake of imagination (and it would take too much space).
Thank you for reading to this point.
