Chap 2 is up! Hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
All SwanQueen, some parts dark, some parts fluff.
Reviews always welcome.
The Past
"Faster!" Regina screamed, pushing her favorite steed to the max, she continued looking behind her to make sure she wasn't being followed, "Almost there!"
So close, so close
Suddenly she felt something wrap around her and pull her from her horse, causing her to fly up in the air and hang there. Immediately she felt the dread in her stomach she knew all too well.
"Hello Mother." Regina said dryly. Her fists clenching.
"You weren't trying to leave were you?" Cora asked, an evil smirk dancing on her lips as she looked at the backside of her daughter.
"Mother!" Regina pleaded, her plea was answered with a harsh drop, making her knees buckle out from under her, sending her flying into a mess of mud.
"Tsk tsk. Regina I thought you would've learned by now." The cold voice crashed over Regina like a bucket of ice water.
"Let me leave!"
"Silly girl you should know you can't leave!" Cora let out a shrill laugh, "I have a border set up, you can only leave with the King."
"Please mother, let me leave. This isn't the life I want!" Regina yelled, finally twirling around to face her, "I don't want to marry the king!"
"Well that's a shame then, because that is exactly what you will do." Cora said harshly, her eyes narrowing in on her daughter.
"Mother please." Regina begged, tears flowing freely from her eyes. She missed Daniel. She missed the life she could've had if it weren't for her mother.
"Enough!" Cora yelled, causing Regina to sniffle. With a wave of her hand they were back in the palace. "Get yourself cleaned up. And for goodness sake stop crying! It's weak!"
With that she disappeared, leaving Regina heart broken all over again.
Regina cleaned herself up and changed into a loose fitting dress, her ears perking up when she heard a soft voice call her name. Exiting her wash room she saw Snow sitting on one of her chairs, in a cute blue dress.
"Hello Snow." Regina said as friendly as possible. She knew Snow told her mother about Daniel and keeping a friendly tone was all she could do to keep herself from murdering the girl right then and there.
"You always look so beautiful Regina." Snow said dreamily as the older girl came to rest behind her, "I was wondering if you could do my hair? Yours always looks so lovely."
"Of course dear." Regina smiled and began working on Snow's hair while she played through Regina's jewelry box.
"What's this?" Snow asked suddenly, causing Regina to peak from behind the young girls head. She felt her heart clench when she saw what she was holding.
It was the make shift ring that Daniel had presented her with, resting on a long golden chain so she could wear it and have it tucked between her breasts where her mother couldn't see it.
"Daniel gave it to me." Regina said sadly. Snow put the necklace on.
"He's the one that ran away, the one that left you?" Snow asked in a small voice.
Something broke within Regina and she grasp the chain, tugging it back against Snow's neck, lightly in warning.
"He didn't run away. He's dead. Thanks to your inability to keep a secret from my Mother."
"Regina I didn't know! Your mother said she wanted to help you and-." Regina tugged the chain harder.
"All I asked was for you to keep your mouth shut." Regina hissed, holding the chain as tightly as she could, she could feel Snow's life force slipping away.
Regina felt a surge crash into her chest and she looked up dazed and confused. She was still sitting behind Snow but was no longer choking her.
"Regina?" Snow asked, turning around slightly.
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
"I asked you where you got this." Snow said with a small smile, holding the ring on the chain up for Regina. Regina remembered the vivid vision and shook her head, her rage dissipating.
"I don't remember." She said in a small voice, "Forgive me Snow but I must go meet with my father." Regina said abruptly and ran from the room, she needed to see her daddy.
He was always in the garden and she ran as fast as she could, finally spotting him.
"Daddy!" Regina called, tears running down her face as she ran into her father's arms.
"Regina what's wrong?" Her father asked, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his daughters back.
"I'm turning into her!" She yelled, sobs racking her body, "She's making me turn in to her! I need to leave!"
"Regina shh."
"No I don't want this! This isn't the life I want!" Regina screamed.
"Regina it's okay." In her rage she hadn't realized the voice became female.
"I want to live my own life!"
The Present
"Regina, Regina wake up!" Emma practically yelled as she shook the woman next to her.
Regina's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, her eyes widening upon seeing Emma.
Emma!
Regina flung herself at the younger woman and broke down in a mass of sobs, clinging to Emma for dear life.
"Shhhh shhh it's alright I got you." Emma cooed as she held Regina close. She wasn't sure exactly what she was dreaming about but she did catch a few cries concerning Regina's mother as well as Regina's desperate pleas to leave.
Regina continued to sob, her feelings for Emma had brought down all her walls, including the ones she constructed to shield her from the emotional pain of her past. Now that Emma tore those walls down, Regina didn't give a damn.
"Baby shh I'm here, I'm not leaving." Emma whispered softly, planting a kiss on the top of Regina's head.
Regina barely registered the action and the words... at first. Once they sunk in she pulled her head from Emma's chest and stared at her wide eyed.
"What did you call me?" Regina asked in a small voice.
"Baby." Emma said simply, bringing a hand up to softly stroke her Queen's face.
"Baby." Regina repeated, the word barely above a whisper. Regina was confused by the term of endearment, especially since Emma hadn't said anything to her about her feelings. Not that Regina gave her a choice what with the wraith and all.
"The portal!" Regina said suddenly, she jumped to her feet and looked around, "We're back. It's all still here."
"Looks like you just transported people instead of destroying the place." Emma said, confused with Regina's flippy emotions, but attentive nonetheless.
"I guess so." Upon that realization Regina looked down at her palm, noticing the mark of the wraith was gone, she took that as a good sign.
"So where are we exactly?" Emma asked, still sitting on the ground and staring at Regina.
"Obviously Fairy Tale Land, Enchanted Forest... this isn't my domain though." Regina walked a few feet and glanced around. "have you looked around at all?"
"No. I didn't want to leave your side." Emma said softly. The tone she said it with caused Regina to turn around and look down at the blonde.
"Why?" Regina asked, confusion playing on her face.
"Well I would've told you before the portal incident if you would have let me." Emma teased, finally standing and walking to Regina, taking her hands in her own, "So let me say my speech now."
Regina nodded, warmth spreading through her body at the touch.
"Regina I know we have had some seriously messed up shit happen since I got to Storybrooke, and I'm not the best with words... But Regina I fell for you hard and fast and when I thought that you were endanger, from anyone, especially that thing... It was like someone stabbed me. I was, and am, terrified of losing you." Emma paused to run a loving stroke down Regina's cheek.
"Emma?" Regina asked, fear tinting her voice. She hoped Emma was heading in the direction she wanted but she still had fear that it wasn't real.
"Regina." Emma said slowly, stepping in closer to Regina, their lips an inch apart, their eyes locked on each other, "I am completely, helplessly, and hopelessly in love with you."
Emma didn't wait for Regina to respond before she connected their lips in a gentle kiss, causing sparks to flash before their eyes and a surge of warmth to rush up their spines.
Regina wrapped her arms around Emma's neck, weaving her hands in the blonde tresses and kissed her fiercely, as if she would disappear at any moment. Emma didn't mind and gladly welcomed Regina's desperate tongue that continued to fight hers for dominance.
After awhile of kissing Regina pulled back to look at Emma, her eyes seeking confirmation once again that it wasn't a dream.
"I love you baby." Emma said with a smile, "I'm not going anywhere."
Regina sighed happily and collapsed into Emma's arms.
"I love you too, dear." Regina said happily, giving Emma a squeeze.
"By the way, your majesty, you look stunning." Regina lifted her head from it's resting place on Emma's shoulder and eyed her curiously before looking down at her attire.
"Seems when we got here the place decided my clothes weren't good enough." Regina smirked as she eyed her favorite riding outfit. The one with the tight black leather pants, black shirt that clung just right and showed off ample cleavage, and the red jacket that cinched her waist perfectly.
"You look really fucking hot." Emma breathed.
"Language dear." Regina said, her voice husky as she enjoyed the effect she was having on her Emma.
"So you always prance around in these kinds of... revealing clothing?"
"First of all, I do NOT prance." Regina said sternly, a glint in her eyes, "And yes... I am the evil queen afterall." Regina joked, but it was clear her eyes held pain at the name.
"You aren't evil anymore Regina. And I don't believe you ever really were. You just had a lot of pain." Emma said softly, pulling the brunette into her, eliciting an approving sigh from Regina.
"How does my hair look?" Regina asked curiously, her eyes attempting to see her own hair.
"It's in that... sexy ass poofy mohawke type thingy." Emma tried, unsure how to describe it. Regina smirked knowing the style.
"Makeup?"
"Dark and sultry." Emma purred, nuzzling her nose against Regina's, causing her to giggle.
"Emma." Regina laughed happily, making Emma beam. "We need to figure out how to get back."
"I agree. Hey maybe you can use magic!" Emma suggested.
Regina looked at Emma, holding her hand in front of her and slightly curling her wrist upwards, her finger pointing to the sky, Emma began to rise off the ground.
"Regina!" Emma squeaked, causing Regina to chuckle once again before lowering Emma back down to the ground.
"Seems I have my powers. That's a good sign, at least I have my abilities, now we just need to find a way back."
"So where's your castle?" Emma asked, looking around in the distance.
"It's North. That way." Regina pointed, "Normally I would 'poof' us there as you would put it, but I'm not sure what to expect so I believe traveling by horse would be better.
"And where are we going to get a horse?" Emma asked, holding her hands out, gesturing to the open meadow they were standing in.
"We just need to walk a little towards that other open field there, it looks to be a farm and I'm sure we will find horses." Regina said, holding out her hand in an offering which Emma happily accepted.
The two walked hand in hand towards the farm, in silence, finally Emma asked the question Regina was hoping she wouldn't ask.
"What were you dreaming about that caused you so much pain?" Emma said softly, offering a reassuring squeeze to Regina's hand.
Regina took a deep breath.
"My mother." Emma could almost taste the venom when Regina uttered the words.
"She was really awful to you wasn't she?"
"My biggest fear... was to become her." Regina paused, "And I did."
"Regina you aren't your mother."
"You have no idea what she was like. No idea what I was like." Regina said coldly, immediately regretting it at Emma's face, "I'm sorry dear. She is a very sore subject for me."
"I understand and Regina... I want you to talk to me about it. Whenever you're ready of course, no pressure. I just want you to know that I love you and I'm gonna be here for you."
Regina stopped walking and pulled Emma into her, wrapping her in a tight embrace and pressing their lips together. Emma moaned at the contact and pulled Regina as close as she could, her tongue wiggling it's way past Regina's lips.
"Your lips are magical Princess." Regina murmured against Emma's lips.
"Princess huh?"
"Well you are a Princess." Regina teased.
"And you, are a Queen." Emma planted a light kiss on Regina's nose before pulling away and taking her hand once again, heading towards the farm once more.
"So any idea how we are going to get back?" Emma asked Regina, glancing down at their joint hands.
Regina's eyebrows creased in confusion before speaking.
"I... have an idea." She replied slowly, musing over her own thoughts. "But I do not know if it will work. I would rather travel to my palace first and see if I can find another option. I'd rather have more possibilities than one."
"Agreed." Emma said. Shortly after she pulled Regina back to her, causing them to stop walking.
"Emma?" Regina squeaked as she was pulled back into Emma's arms.
"Shh. You hear that?" Emma said in a whisper to Regina's ear, causing a shiver to run up the Queen's spine. The feeling quickly left when she heard a thud and felt the ground shake.
"Don't move or make a sound." Regina said quickly, panic rising in her chest.
After a few more booms and ground shaking, a large form stepped into view of the two women, Regina heard Emma take a sharp breath as they looked at the intruder.
An Ogre loomed nearby, slowly walking through the forest, unaware of their presence. Regina's eyebrows lifted in surprise and confusion, with a hint of panic.
Of course she wasn't afraid of the Ogre, she could take one easily, a well aimed shot to the eye would effectively kill the brute. No, she was more worried about Emma doing something rash and putting herself in danger, Regina didn't want that to happen.
Regina's hand held firm to Emma's, her eyes never leaving the slowly disappearing form of the Ogre. Regina didn't speak or move for another five minutes, wanting to make sure it was gone, before turning around and facing Emma.
"We need to stay quiet as we progress, I am not sure what Ogre's are doing here and I will explain all that soon, but right now we need to be careful. Ogre's are blind, the find you by sound, any particularly loud noise will draw their attention, then they will sniff you out." Regina said sternly.
Emma nodded in response and offered Regina a small smile, falling into step with the older woman as they continued carefully, towards the farm.
After cautiously climbing the next ridge, the end of the tree line came into view. Emma started to head for farm land when Regina's hand on her stomach gave her pause.
Emma gave Regina a confused look, receiving a very stern wait here look in response before Regina stepped into the clearing, slowly walking away from Emma.
Her eyes scanned the field in front of her, lingering on the tree line on the opposite side.
A boom echoed nearby and Regina felt the tremor in the ground, unable to tell exactly which direction the Ogre was coming from.
Another boom and shake.
"Regina!" Emma called out, suddenly realizing her mistake and slapped a hand over her mouth.
Regina swirled around quickly at Emma's voice, there was a look Emma hadn't seen in awhile.
Regina's damn you Emma Swan look, daggers piercing Emma from Regina's eyes.
Suddenly an Ogre burst through the tree line, catching a whiff of Regina's scent and barreling straight for her.
"Dammit." Regina muttered before leaping and rolling out of the Ogre's way.
She summoned a fireball to her hand and stood still, waiting for the Ogre to make it's way back to her.
The Ogre barreled at top speed towards Regina, causing the ground to shake drastically.
Emma watched from the tree line, debating whether to help Regina or stay put, she opted for the latter, Regina would be pissed if she tried to help.
The Ogre was almost on top of Regina when she released the fireball, aiming it directly at its eye, before disappearing in a cloud of black mist as the Ogre ran straight through where she was just moments ago.
Emma's heart was in her throat, fear coursed through her veins unsure if Regina had escaped through the mist or if something else tragic happened.
The Ogre collapsed, making the ground rumble a moment before everything became still.
Emma burst through the trees running straight for the Ogre, coming to a halt and frantically looking around for any sign of her Regina.
"Looking for me?" Regina said, her tone taking on that of the evil queen and eyebrow arching.
Emma spun around and threw herself into Regain, knocking them both to the ground.
"Em-" Regina started but was effectively cut off by a soft pair of lips on her own, bringing out a moan of approval.
"Don't scare me like that again." Emma whispered against Regina's lips, their eyes meeting.
Regina nodded, her eyes promising she wouldn't before she began to lift Emma up with magic.
She stood and allowed Emma to float back down to the ground.
"I think that's enough excitement for now." Regina said gesturing to the Ogre, a frown taking hold. "I went to the farm when you saw me disappear, to check it out and made sure it was safe."
"And?"
"It was, there are also horses there." Regina finished, holding out her hand to Emma. Once Emma took Regina's hand she was pulled tight against Regina, their fronts clashing together.
"So Princess, are you ready to see my trick?" The Queen whispered into Emma's ear, tentatively sticking her tongue out and gently licking the earlobe.
Emma drew in a sharp breath and felt her knees weaken.
"Yes." She managed to breathe out.
"Then hold on dear." The Queen grasped Emma tightly and they were engulfed in black mist, suddenly they reappeared in front of the farm.
"Woah." Emma said, her hand going to her head as she tried to steady herself, Regina's arms quickly found her though and held her.
"I'm sorry, I should have forewarned you that the ride can be dizzying if you aren't used to it."
"It's fine baby." Emma reassured, causing a smile to spread across Regina's face at the use of the term of endearment.
Regrettably Regina let go of Emma and headed towards the stable, coming back quickly with two sturdy horses.
"I think it would be fitting if you took the white one." Regina said happily, bringing the horse to Emma.
"Yeaaaahhh. Regina there's something I have to tell you." Emma said nervously.
"What is it?" The queen's eyebrows knit in confusion.
"I've never ridden a horse and I'm kind of scared of them." Emma admitted, looking down at the ground.
"Ah." Regina said simply, before releasing the white horse and leading the other back to the stable, she returned and took the reigns to the horse, "Then we will ride together."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes of course I'm sure Emma. Listen, when we get back to Storybrooke I will teach you how to properly ride, on the journey to my castle I'll teach you the basics."
"How do I get on?" Emma asked quietly, eyeing the horse with suspicion. A chuckle released itself from Regina's lips.
Regina walked over to Emma and took her hand, leading her to the horse.
"I want you to lift your left leg and place your foot in the stirrup, then swing your right leg over. I'll be right behind you to help you catch your balance."
Emma nodded before touching the saddle horn, grasping it as she lifted her left foot to the stirrup, once her foot was in place she went to swing her leg over when she lost her balance.
Warm hands on her backside held her in place and she smoothly finished mounting the horse.
Emma looked down at Regina and received a warm smile, she guided Emma's left foot out of the stirrup so she could place hers there in order to mount the horse. She lifted herself up gracefully and sat behind Emma, their bodies fitting perfectly together.
"Remove your right foot from the stirrup... good." Regina said as her feet took Emma's place, her arms wove around Emma's body and grasped the reigns. "Hold on to the horn."
Emma did as she was told, visibly nervous about this idea.
"Just relax darling. I won't let you fall." Regina said softly behind her, clicking her tongue and giving the horse a little kick with her feet she commanded it to walk. She allowed the horse to continue at a small pace, giving Emma time to adjust to the speed. Once she felt Emma was comfortable she urged the horse to go a little faster, starting a jog.
"This isn't so bad." Emma commented, she relaxed back into Regina.
"Make the horse turn right by putting pressure on its left side with your foot." Regina said.
Emma followed her instruction, causing the horse to turn right.
"Good. Now make him turn left by putting pressure on the right this time."
Emma again followed her instruction and succeeded in controlling the horse.
"Think you'll be okay with running for a bit?" Regina asked, leading the horse into the tree line in the direction of her castle.
"I think so."
"Just hold tight to the horn, I'm right here." Regina reassured before flicking the reigns and kicking the horse into high gear.
The horse took off in a shot, running swiftly through the trees. They continued like this for 20 miles before the sky began to dim.
Regina slowed the horse to a walk and glanced around the forest, looking for a safe spot to camp for the night. She spotted a cleared area, surrounded by pines and some brush and guided the horse to the destination.
"We'll camp here for the night. We still have a long journey before we reach my palace." Regina said as she lifted herself off of the horse.
She looked up at Emma, worry covering her face as she looked.
"Emma?"
"I can't move." Regina chuckled.
"Why on earth not dear?"
"Well for one I'm pretty sure my ass has no skin left, and secondly I'm going to have a SERIOUS bruise on my lady bits." Emma finished, attempting to remove herself from the saddle, landing with a thud in Regina's arms as she was lowered to the ground.
"If you would like I could kiss it and make it better." Regina suggested seductively, causing Emma's skin to flush. Regina laughed lightly and kissed Emma's temple before making a tent magically appear as well as a small campfire.
"You wanna magically poof some food here?" Emma suggested, her stomach growling in agreement, eliciting a raised eyebrow from the Queen. She waved her hand and food appeared in front of Emma and herself, as quickly as it appeared it was gone, Emma having devoured hers.
"Henry really is your son. You have the same appetite." Regina pointed out with a sad smile.
"I miss him too." Emma said scooting next to Regina and pulling her close.
"Why does he hate me so much?" Regina whispered sadly, her eyes becoming wet with unshed tears.
"He doesn't hate you. He's just so caught up in the fairytale that he isn't seeing you, instead he's seeing the evil queen."
"But I am the Evil Queen Emma." Regina said sternly, finally looking at Emma.
"You were. You aren't anymore."
Regina looked away and to the fire, pondering.
"My mother... was a horrible woman Emma... She ripped out the hearts of innocent and guilty alike, all for her own pleasure. Since I was young she tortured me with magic, made me feel weak and worthless... and yet I still loved her."
Regina paused and felt Emma stroke her hand reassuringly.
"My mother took so many hearts that I lost count... When I was young, 18 years old, I fell in love with the stableboy. Daniel. We were going to get married. Daniel wanted us to no longer be kept a secret, but I couldn't risk my mother knowing, so I kept it a secret. One day Daniel and I were out for a picnic and suddenly over the hill came a young girl on an out of control horse, barreling past us, screaming for help."
Regina's gaze still remained on the fire in front of her.
"I hopped on my horse and ran after her, pushing my steed as fast as he could go. Finally I caught up to her and brought her onto my horse, if I hadn't saved her she would've fallen off eventually and been trampled to death."
"You did a good thing Regina." Emma said with a smile, causing the queen to turn and look at her.
"The young girl was your mother." Regina said seriously, causing Emma's eyes to widen. Regina looked at her for a moment before looking back at the fire.
"Later that night I was summoned to my mother's chambers. When I arrived my mother informed me that the king was there, King Leopold. He wanted to see me. He entered and thanked me for saving his daughter's life. He gave some schpeel about how the girl had grown up so far without a mother and he didn't want her to not have one for the rest of her life." Regina's voice became harsher, angrier, "The king..." Her voice laced with venom.
"The king, knelt before me and asked me to marry him." Regina's voice shook, "I said nothing, I just stood their and stared in disbelief, finally my mother couldn't bear the embarrassment I was causing her, so she answered for me... She told him yes. After an argument with my mother I ran straight to Daniel, told him everything that happened and we decided that the following night we would run away. Daniel and I kissed and when we parted, your mother was standing there, in shock."
Regina's voice grew angry once more.
"She ran from us and I ran after her, finally catching up and pleading with her to hear me out. She was crushed, hoping that I would be the mother that she always wanted, but I told her that I loved Daniel and that I wanted to marry him long ago. I convinced her to not speak a word of what she saw to anyone, especially my mother. I told Snow that my mother wouldn't understand. Your mother promised me she wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone."
Emma stroked Regina's hand lovingly, causing Regina's mouth to twitch into a brief smile before disappearing.
"The following night Daniel and I were in the stables, just as we were about to leave my mother showed up. She acted kind and concerned, attentive to my choice. For a moment I actually believed that she wanted me to be happy!" Regina's voice raised, her eyes glaring at the fire in hate, "She embraced Daniel and led him away from me, a few stalls down, still acting like a concerned mother as she talked to him. Before I knew it, her hand was in his chest." Regina choked back a sob.
Emma's hand moved to her back, softly rubbing.
"She ripped out his heart, right in front of me!" Tears trickled down her face, "She crushed his heart in her hand, and just like that Daniel was ripped away from me. I was furious with her and heartbroken. She was so cold and unfeeling and told me that I would no longer waste my time with the immature notions of love, I would love the King and do as I was told."
Regina tried to calm her breathing which had become ragged.
"A few days passed and I was being fitted for my wedding gown, Snow came in and said how beautiful I looked. She said that Daniel and I were going to be very happy together..." Regina said sadly, "I didn't want to be truthful with your mother, I didn't want to scare her, so I told her that Daniel had run away and left me."
Regina chanced a glance at Emma, her green eyes shined with unshed tears but didn't look away from Regina's gaze.
"Snow looked at me with such sorrow, she really was a beautiful child, and in that moment I wanted to protect her... I told her that my mother had scared Daniel off. She looked at me so confused, and told me that my mother had said she only wanted what was best for me, she said that she told my mother about Daniel and I because Snow thought my mother would leave me and she didn't want me to be without a mother." Regina's voice grew cold, so much so that it actually frightened Emma.
"She told my mother about us, she was the reason my mother came to the stables and she was the reason my mother coldly ripped out his heart in front of my very eyes. I felt something inside me break that night, I turned away from her, trying to control my furiously beating heart, suddenly it was as if my heart no longer existed, and I turned back to her. In that moment I no longer wanted to protect her, I wanted to destroy her."
"I wanted my mother out of my life as well, revenge for what she had done to Daniel. I tried to flee from the kingdom but she wouldn't let me." Regina looked to Emma, "The nightmare I was having when you woke me, that was what it was about, me fleeing from her grasp. After that the wedding was only two days away and I sought out her book of spells that she possessed. A man had given them to her, taught her every wicked thing she knew, but at the time I thought that the man that taught her was good and that she had just been evil all along."
Regina looked to Emma again, her eyes asking if she wanted her to continue. When she received a nod and a squeeze to her hand she did.
"Rumpelstiltskin gave my mother the spells."
"Gold." Emma acknowledged, speaking for the first time since she began her story.
"Yes, in Storybrooke he is known as Gold. But as you know, in my land he was Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpel gave my mother the book and taught her everything she knew. He came to me later that night and told me how he taught my mother, he said that he could teach me how to rid myself of her. I only wanted the spells to get rid of my mother and I swore after I did I would never touch magic again. The night of the wedding Rumpelstiltskin gave me a present, a mirror specifically, I didn't know what it was exactly but he told me it would rid me of my problem. I was to keep it covered. My mother came to my room before the wedding and pulled off the covering, demanding to know what the mirror was exactly. I had no idea and so I told her so, she didn't believe me and used magic on me, trapping me from moving as she verbally abused me like she always had done, calling me weak. Rumpel appeared in the mirror, hinting at me to push her, but I couldn't move my arms. I just felt my rage building and building inside me, until finally it burst and I broke free of her enchantment and pushed her through the mirror."
Regina paused.
"I thought that I had solved my problem. But then I remembered Snow and I grew angry again, wanting to hurt her in some way, I decided that marrying the King could prove advantageous in the end. However I was naive and endured more than I should have."
Regina's voice grew to a whisper, she felt another reassuring squeeze from Emma.
"Her father... your biological grandfather, raped me. Over and over and over again. No matter how much I begged and pleaded and cried, he wouldn't relent. I was bruised, battered, and bleeding by the time it was over. I had hobbled back to my chambers and attempted to clean up some of the blood that had been flowing from between my legs. My hands were too shaky to complete my task though. Rumpel came to me, took pity on me, and healed all my wounds. Showing me one moment of kindness, before he offered his services to train me in magic."
Regina's voice broke and Emma wrapped her in a hug, she felt Emma's tears landing on top of her head and knew tears flowed from her eyes as well. Regina clung to Emma for a few moments, taking in the warmth that having the blonde close always seemed to spread throughout her body. Regina's crying ceased and she slowly pulled back to look Emma in the eyes, again wordlessly asking if she wanted her to continue. The look in Emma's eyes said it all, only if you want to. Regina smiled softly at the kindness of Emma, not pushing or prying, just listening. So she continued.
"I was broken and angry. Angry at Snow, my mother, and the king, that I agreed. But deep down all I wanted was Daniel back. That was my motivation, to find a way to bring him back from the dead. I had even preserved his body with an enchantment spell. Rumpel tried to teach me but I was too afraid to rip the heart from a unicorn, and after he found out why I wanted to learn magic he brushed me off.
I met Jefferson, the mad hatter, and he told me of a person that could possibly help me get David back. Dr. Frankenstein, who you know as Dr. Whale."
"Seriously that's who he is? I was always wondering." Emma said. Regina chuckled and it brought a smile to Emma's face.
"Yes, seriously. Frankenstein believed he had the procedure to bring someone back from the dead, all he needed was an enchanted human heart. Since I was unable to bring myself to take one I led them to my mother's vault, where she kept all of her hearts. The enchanted hearts can be used to control a person, make them fully be under your control, so much so that you have the choice to kill them. I stole a heart for Frankenstein and that night he would perform the procedure. The hope that Daniel could be brought back was the only thing keeping me innocent and sane..."
Regina's eyes flashed darkly.
"The procedure didn't work. Daniel didn't come back. In that moment all hope was lost for me, I fully broke. My heart shattered and my sanity gone. I embraced every urge inside my body that was willing me to give in to the darkness, to embrace the evil that beckoned to me... and I did, without a second thought I stopped being Regina and became the Evil Queen. I returned to Rumpelstiltskin, now doting the sexually brash and dark clothing, hair, and makeup. He was teaching another girl magic and to prove myself I stepped right up to her and ripped her heart out, crushing it without a second thought. I have always said and believe, Evil isn't born, it's made."
Regina finished her story and looked at Emma.
"I told you all of that Emma so you would fully know my past, and now I am giving you a choice." Emma looked at Regina, confusion evident on her face.
"I understand how you could've loved the cold-hearted bitch mayor, I understand how you could've seen past all of that and fell for me Emma. But I couldn't be with you without being honest with you about who I was before you knew me. Henry is right. I am a monster, I am an Evil Queen. I have taken lives and hearts, I've destroyed families, I took a home from all the people of Storybrooke just to ensure that no one would have a happy ending. I am trying to change for Henry, and for you Emma. I want to be better for you both. I want to redeem myself and be someone you can truly love." Tears began to fall from Regina's eyes.
"I love you so much Emma. Even more than I loved Daniel. I did love Daniel and all these years I thought he was my true love and he was gone... and then you came along and picked up the shattered pieces of my heart and put it back together. As cracked and broken as it may be you breathed life and love back into it, and for that I am so grateful. I truly love you Emma... but you will have to decide if you can still love me, now knowing what I am, or if you cannot. If you can't I will understand, I will still search for a way home for us and get us back, that won't change." Regina finished, her brown tear tinted eyes staring at Emma, patiently waiting for the blonde to speak.
Emma's green eyes stared at Regina, taking in her appearance and her soft fearful eyes. Emma had listened intently to Regina's story about her past, her heart painfully beating for the queen, all the horrible things that had befallen her. Her bitch of a mother, killing Daniel like that in front of Regina... Rumpel for making her the way she was.
Was. Emma thought. She saw how Regina had been constantly changing for the better since she arrived and it made Emma dizzy to think she was doing it partly for her.
Regina was her true love and she was Regina's, Emma knew that before, but after hearing Regina's story, anyone else would have thought she would be repulsed by Regina's history. But she wasn't. She couldn't care less about the horrible things Regina did, because it made her who she was now, the woman that Emma was head over heels in love with.
Emma looked at Regina, who was still staring at her with fear in those beautiful brown eyes, and leaned forward so their noses were touching.
"If you want to get rid of me, my Queen, you will have to do much better than that." Emma whispered before closing the gap and kissing Regina, pulling her as close as she could.
The kiss was soft and slow, yet still full of passion and love that shook both women to their very core. Breathlessly, Emma pulled back, resting their foreheads together.
"So... you still want to be with me?" Regina asked in a small voice.
"Of course I do baby." Emma said with a smile.
"That... is a pleasant relief." Regina said breathlessly before quickly pecking Emma's lips.
"I love you Regina. I don't care what your past was like, it made you who you are today, and that is the woman I fell in love with. True love with." Emma looked into Regina's eyes and saw the tears beginning to fall. She pulled the older woman close and held her tightly, allowing Regina to cry out all the years of pain, anger, and sorrow that had been pent up.
She stroked her hair lovingly as she waited for Regina's sobs to subside, when they finally did Regina's head was in Emma's lap, her hair still being stroked as they looked at the still blazing fire.
"How many hearts have you taken?" Emma asked softly, showing Regina she wasn't judging, just curious.
"So many I lost count." Regina said, her voice just as soft, "The one thing I feared after losing Daniel, was that I would become like my mother... and I have."
"No you haven't. Regina your mother was a horrible mother, she abused you, tortured you, killed someone you loved. Regina you are a wonderful mother to Henry. You have given him everything I couldn't, you put a roof over his head, you never hit him, you loved him unconditionally. Speaking of which I'm going to have a talk with him about that when we get back... Regina you may have given in to magic and did some bad things, but don't ever compare yourself to that bat shit crazy woman. You understand?" Emma asked, nudging Regina to look up at her.
"Yes." Regina said simply before sitting up, "I think it's time we went to bed, we have a long journey tomorrow." She stood and held her hand out to Emma, leading them into the tent for a night's rest.
They both laid down on the blankets Regina had conjured up, holding on to each other tightly, afraid they would wake up and everything had been a dream.
"I love you Emma... thank you." Regina said softly, lovingly stroking the blonde tresses.
"I love you too Regina." Emma replied, a smile on her face as she nuzzled under Regina's chin.
Quickly falling asleep in the arms of the woman she loved.
