So I made a few typos in the last chapter. I went back and they are now fixed. So this chapter starts a little bit more with Logan and Niki. I'm trying their POV for the first time. It won't always be like that, but I like writing from their view. Anyway, continuing on with the story. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own X-men, etc...
You're always bound to fall
There's nothin' you can do
The weight of gravity begins
To pull you down again.
********* Nikita's POV *********
I couldn't fall asleep... Once again. I wanted to scream I was so frustrated, but I was so tired I couldn't make myself. I sat up, letting out a long sigh. Every time I closed my eyes I saw them. I felt them. The doctors, the drills, those men... I can't forget any of it. As much as I try, I can't. I can't focus and I can feel myself being pulled into the dark. I got up and walked to the bathroom, turning on the shower.
I stepped in when it was still freezing and the cold hit me like a god damn freight train. I hate the cold and with the state I was in, the cold water reminded me of the tank... not my best move. I felt my heart beat faster and I started shaking. I slid down the shower wall and closed my eyes. My mind was racing with memories and I couldn't seem to shut it down. I felt my veins pumping with adrenalin. I hated that I knew it was over, but even the memories could control me. I'm scared it will never be truly over.
I slid out my claws on one hand and pushed them into my other arm. I didn't even really realize it until I did it. I started at my wrist and pushed hard all the way to my elbow. It would kill a human like that... but not me. Nothing will kill me. The pain was terrible and intense, but strangely it centered me. My stomach clenched and for a moment I thought I was going to throw up. I had cut so deep I could see the adamantium of my bones. I watched the blood circle the drain and disappear along with the cut I'd made on my arm.
I sat there a minute longer, leaning my head against the wall, because I was feeling a little dizzy from the loss of blood. When I got up, I turned off the shower and dried myself off, slipping on a pair of panties and loose t-shirt.
I needed something to sleep so I headed downstairs to the kitchen. I didn't put on any pants, considering it was two in the morning no one would be awake.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass.
"Can't sleep?"
I jumped around, bit back a squeal, my claws shooting out. There was Wolverine sitting at the island in the kitchen, with a smirk on his face.
My claws went back in and I relaxed slightly. "Shit, you sc-" I cut off, not willing to admit he scared me. "What are doing down here?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
I narrowed my eyes at him and stared for a second, then reached up to grab another glass. I could feel his eyes scanned my ass as I stood on my tiptoes to reach the glass. I smirked, knowing I was putting on show, but I couldn't help but tease.
********* Logan's POV *********
"Does this happen a lot?" she asked.
I shook my head, not quite processing what she said, having been focused on her ass. "What?"
"Not being able to sleep."
Oh, heh. I shrugged. "Oh uh... I don't know. Sometimes, I guess... Yeah." I said, quietly. "It does."
"Yeah, me too." she sat down next to me, and handed me a glass. "Here, drink this."
I took it and eyed it suspiciously. "What is it?"
"Oh just drink it. I'm not gonna poison you or anything." She joked. "It's uh- It's an old remedy of mine." she shrugged when I gave her an odd look. "Helps me sleep. Not that anything ever has much of an effect on me, but... Maybe it's just in my head." she said, looking away.
Hell, why not drink it. What's the worst that could happen. Not like I can die anyway. "Thanks." I said, quietly.
We sat in silence for a while, each in our own thoughts. I caught her staring at my chest a few times, but I didn't say anything, just struggled not to smirk.
Then a thought that I'd been thinking about popped out. "So have you slept with the Cajun?" I asked abruptly, breaking the silence. Didn't really plan on asking it, but oh well.
She almost spit out her drink at that. She managed to swallow, then gave me a funny look. "You mean Gambit?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah sure, if that's what you want to call him."
She shook her head. "No, I haven't slept with him."
I nodded, a little relieved and waited a second before asking another question. "What about Tony?"
She took a second with that one. "Well, you certainly are a curious creature."
I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow. "You didn't answer the question."
"Maybe I didn't want to." she said, raising an eyebrow of her own.
We stared at each other, each challenging the other. Finally she sighed, looking too tired to keep up the stare. "Once, yeah."
I looked away, and bit back a growl. She grinned at me. With her being a feral I know, she knew that when the animal disagreed it was hard to keep it quiet.
"He's a good friend and it just happened one night. It was a few years ago though. Now he's like a brother to me."
I kept my face blank. I knew she couldn't tell what I was thinking, so she changed the subject.
"Hey, you wanna watch a movie or something?" she offered.
I looked at her and for some unknown reason fought the urge to smile. "Yeah, sure."
I sat on the couch and she flipped the TV on. She made herself comfortable and stretched out, putting her feet across my lap. I raised an eyebrow, and grinned at her.
"Comfy?" I asked, sarcastically.
"Right now I am, yeah."
I chuckled slightly and turned my attention to the TV.
********* Nikita's POV *********
We watched TV for about an hour before he dozed off, with his hand resting on my leg. I looked over at him when he started shifting around. He looked troubled in his sleep. He let out a pain filled moan and jerked slightly.
I sat up and called his name, softly. "Wolverine." it didn't sound right to me, calling him Wolverine.
"Hey, come on." I put a hand on his shoulder, and his eyes shot open.
In less than a second I was pinned against the wall, with the breath knocked out of me. Damn he was fast. His claws were less than a centimeter away from my sides, inserted in the wall. His eyes flashed yellow. He shook in his head clear, and seemed to realize where he was. His eyes went back to brown, but I stayed still, keeping calm, and letting him calm himself down. His breaths were coming fast and short. I was having trouble catching my breath as well, but I was hiding it better.
He stepped back quickly, retracted his claws, and started pacing. "Fuck. I- I'm sorry. I had a-" he was panicked and breathing hard.
I really wasn't all that effected by his outburst (Having nightmares of my own on a regular fucking basis) and moved from the wall, towards him. I went up to him slowly knowing he was still worked up, but he stopped me holding out a hand, not even looking up.
I sighed and set on the edge of the couch. After all he didn't have a reason to trust or listen to me. "It's okay. Calm down." I said, softly.
"Jesus fucking Christ! I almost killed you and you're telling me to fucking calm down!" he sounded frantic and was almost shouting. He still wasn't looking at me.
"You didn't almost kill me."
"I did."
"You can't kill me, big guy." I let that sink in a minute. "Trust me, I know."
He finally stopped pacing and looked at me. "You heal." It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yeah, I've got these too." I said, sliding out her claws. "Don't age either."
He looked at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. "You don't age?"
I slid my claws back in and gave him a sad smile and a shrug. "You're not the only one."
"Why aren't you scared of me?" he asked, sounding shocked that I wasn't. "I can't kill you, but I can still hurt you."
"But you didn't."
"I just pinned you against a wall. My fucking claws were almost in your stomach."
"But they weren't. And I'm fine... Come on, sit down."
He shook his head and closed his eyes. "God dammit..."
"It's okay, I'm okay. Relax." I kept my voice low and calm, in hopes to calm him.
He finally sat down and I crawled behind him. I tried to rub the tension out of his shoulders, moving my way up to his neck and in his hair. He sighed and ever so slowly I felt him relax. I wasn't sure why I was doing this, especially for someone I didn't know, but it seemed to calm him.
"Is that why you can't sleep? Nightmares?" I asked.
********* Logan's POV *********
I struggled with whether I should tell her the truth or not. To tell her that fuck yes, I have nightmares. Bad ones. Ones that I wake up screaming from and leave me shaking, sometimes for hours. I never told anyone my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities. But I also didn't usually fall asleep in front of other people. I didn't know her, she didn't know me. We were strangers.
I had decided I wasn't going to tell her, when the answer found it's way to my mouth anyway. "Yeah... You?"
"... Yeah."
"What are they about?" I asked, trying to turn and look at her. It was comforting having her this close. I didn't understand why, in fact it kinda freaked me out a little, but it also made me feel at ease and Wolverine was practically purring inside my head. Hmm, that was new...
"Probably the same thing yours are. I just remember a little more than you."
"What do you mean?" I whispered.
She crawled from behind me, to sit practically on top of me. Not that I minded.
"You were in a lab... right?" she sounded unsure. This was apparently new territory for her as well.
I searched her face as if she would answer to her own question, but I knew she wouldn't.
Finally I nodded. "I think so."
"That's what they're about? The lab?"
I took a deep breath before answering. How much was I gonna tell her? Apparently a good bit, since I can't stop fucking talking for some reason. "Yeah. I don't remember much. Just..."
"Pain?" she finished for me.
Exactly. I nodded again. "The drills, the knives... the blood, and these- men hovering over me."
She looked away and shivered at her own memories. I noticed her shiver and ran a hand down her arm. She looked cold and I had a strange need to wrap her in my arms. What the fuck was wrong with me?
"You alright?" My voice was soft and I absent mindedly traced circles on her arm.
She nodded slowly. "Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember... Some nights I would do anything to not remember."
"Some nights I'd do anything to remember."
"Trust me... you don't want to." her voice was getting slightly shaky. "I should go back upstairs. Try to sleep." she said, getting up.
I moved closer to her for a moment and thought about making her stay and if Wolverine had his way I would have, but I stopped myself and leaned back.
"Night, darlin."
"Night, big guy." she gave me a small smile and went back upstairs.
I sat there a few minutes longer, then went back to my own room and eventually found a restless sleep.
\\\ Reviews keep me going! They inspire me and I accept critique where it's needed and even some ideas. Feel free.
