Author's Note: So. I wrote this yesterday and it was complete rubbish. I had no idea what to do with it. So when I got home today, I tried to revamp it. Hopefully, I did. Otherwise, I'm sorry. Tell me what you think. Just be a bit kind. And for those of you who like really long things, I'm sorry, but I just can't. I am unable to drag things out in such a manner. Anyways... enjoy!
James had cleaned up the kitchen. I smiled. He was so sweet sometimes.
When I opened the refrigerator, a myriad of smells hit me. I felt sick again, and I wrinkled my nose and covered my mouth. The room spun, but I was determined to make breakfast without throwing up, if that was possible.
"Lily?" James meandered into the kitchen, sleep slowing his footsteps. As he saw me, with my hands shielding me face as a gas mask, and all his drowsiness was wiped away. "Sit down, Lily. I'll get breakfast." He led me to a chair, as if I wasn't able to walk by myself. I snorted.
"I'm fine, James." I tried to glare up at him, but, as usual, I failed miserably. I hadn't been able to glower properly at him since our sixth year at Hogwarts.
He merely smirked, knowing perfectly well how I was unable to be angry with him. "So, what would you like for breakfast today?"
"I'm not hungry." That was a lie. I just really didn't feel like throwing up. Again. I slumped against the seat, suddenly winded.
"You haven't eaten in two days, Lil. Maybe you should go see a doctor."
"James. I have told you a thousand times: I am fine. Perfectly, completely totally fine. Now please, stop obsessing."
"I'm worried about you."
"Don't be. Be more worried about this house. It's a mess." I tried lightening the mood, gesturing to the growing pile of laundry and dirty dishes. You'd think that living in a magical household, it would be spotless, but I'm just as lazy as I was before the magic.
"You're not taking this seriously enough, Lily. I wish you'd just go to the damn doctor." He sounded exasperated and I didn't have the heart to deny him anything.
"I'll tell you what, if I don't feel completely restored by tomorrow, I'll go to the pissing doctor. Okay?"
"Fine." He kissed my forehead and left to shower before going to 'work'.
I spent the day attempting to clean. It didn't really work. I mostly just napped, sleeping off the minutes that I had spent cleaning. It was becoming beyond ridiculous.
In the end, James got his wish. He always got what he wanted, one way or the other. Our marriage itself was proof enough. Then again, it was probably my fault, being unable to resist his charm. But I preferred to blame it on him.
"There doesn't seem to be anything wrong, Mrs. Potter." The aged doctor smiled warmly at me. "You've come up negative for any major illnesses. Just let this little virus run its' course. I'm sure it will pass."
"So it's nothing then?" I asked eagerly, pursing my lips in an attempt to hide my growing smirk.
"As far as I can tell..."
"Hah! I knew it. Thank you so much." I stood and shook the woman's hand, my triumph obvious. She looked a bit startled, though she didn't say a word.
She smiled as she escorted me to the door. "If these symptoms persist, please do not hesitate to contact me."
"Sure thing." This was perfect. Once again, I was right. I smiled the whole way home, despite the sporadic unease of my stomach.
I couldn't wait to tell James what the doctor had said. When I loud pop sounded in the living room, I rushed in, holding my nose as I passed the kitchen.
"Oh." I said, visibly sagging. "Hello Remus."
"Expecting someone else, Lily?" He showed the barest hint of a smile, but I could tell he was laughing boisterously on the inside. Or that's what I liked to tell myself. After all, no one could possibly have that much poise and control over one's reactions.
"Yes, actually. I just came back from the doctors'. I was waiting for James to come home so that I could gloat." I resisted the urge to stick my tongue childishly out at him. "She said it was nothing. Just like I told you!" I was being petty and immature, but I didn't care. I had just proved, again, that James worried far too much about me.
"Right..." He thought for a moment and then decided to speak. "Lily, I think you should take a pregnancy test."
"What?" I asked, perplexed. "Remus, you're ridiculous."
"I got you some of those Muggle contraptions. The accuracy rate is ninety something percent."
"Remus, that's absolutely barmy. There's no way that I could be pregnant. Honestly..." It was true that James and I had a certain knack for... having fun, but the prospect of pregnancy was completely mad.
"Just take the test, Lily. You never know." As always, Remus got his way. Perhaps it was his kind nature or his soft features. More likely, though, was that it was because he was a former Marauder. They all possessed a special sort of charisma.
He waited with me on the ledge of the bathtub for the five minutes the directions instructed for the test to fully work. I made sure to wait an extra minute just to make sure it was right.
But I had no reason to worry. I was sure of it.
When I finally picked up the small white stick, my hand shaking.
It's okay, Lily. Perfectly okay. You're not pregnant. It's not positive. Don't worry. You're fine. You'll be fine. I repeated the words like a mantra. I would never admit it, but I was terrified.
A little pink plus sign leered up at me.
It was positive.
My heart stopped beating for a moment.
"Bloody hell." I murmured.
"Lily?" Remus took it from me, a small smile on his soft face. He didn't even look at it. He already knew. "Are you all right?"
"This cannot be happening." I mumbled, completely shocked. "No. No, no, no, no, no."
"Lily. Calm down." He rubbed small circles onto my back. I was greatly thankful that he was there, but also a tad resentful. I wanted to break down on my own.
"Oh, Merlin. James is going to freak out." My words came out so fast and quiet that Remus was struggling to understand what I was saying. "He's going to kill me. How did this happen? Bloody pissing sodding hell."
"Lily. Lily. It's okay. James will be fine. Don't worry." His voice wasn't as soothing as he thought it was.
"You have to leave. You have to go. Goodbye Remus." I pushed him out of the bathroom and through the downstairs until he was out the front door, despite his protesting.
I couldn't breathe.
What was I going to do?
James didn't want children. We hadn't even talked about it yet. But he wouldn't want a child. Not James. Not perfect, eloquent James. He wouldn't want some shrieking little bundle of a shitting baby. No. He wouldn't.
Was Remus going to tell him?
No. He wouldn't do that. He's not a meddler. Sirius on the other hand...
I slid to the floor, my knees touching my chest.
What was I going to do?
He would be home soon. It was almost five. He told me he would be home early. He hadn't wanted me home alone while I was sick.
Oh, Merlin. He thought I was sick. He'd be so angry. So disappointed. He'd wish I'd had some devastating Muggle disease. Like cancer. He'd wish I'd had cancer instead of a child gestating in my womb.
How would I tell him? Did I have to tell him?
Yes. I would. We were married. I couldn't very well not tell him about a child. A child we had accidentally made. No, I'd have to tell him.
Should I tell him right away? Should I get him dinner first?
I was still undecided and arguing heatedly with myself when he apparated into the front hall.
"Lily!" He greeted me warmly a slow grin growing on his face. It faded as soon as he saw me slumped on the floor. "What's wrong? Did the doctor..."
"Nothing's wrong, James. Not really anyway." I took a deep breath, standing to face him. Did I really have to do this? I know I really didn't want to. "James, I have to tell you something." I sounded afraid, though calm.
He instantly understood that something important was going on. His face was somber and open. He was ready for whatever I had to throw at him. Or so he thought. "What is it?"
"It's... big."
"Lily, I know we have our little quarrels, but it's nothing we can't work through. I love you. We can fix it, right? I want to fix it. We have to fix it."
It took me a few seconds to realise what the hell he was on about. "No, James. Don't be silly." He looked crestfallen and I backpedaled hastily. "No, no! I'm not leaving you, James. This is far, far different." Though it may end the same. I added silently.
"Oh." He didn't even look embarrassed. I would have been painted red if I'd misinterpreted like that. But James was special. It didn't even faze him. "Well, what is it?"
"I'm..." I took another deep breath, though it didn't really help. "Oh, Merlin. James, I'm pregnant."
He was silent for half a moment. I pictured him throwing furniture against a wall and closed my eyes.
"Are you serious?" A strong emotion flashed behind his hazel eyes. I couldn't tell exactly what it was. All I knew was that I was dangerously close to hyperventilation.
"Well, yes. Technically. But we don't have to keep it or anything. I mean, if you don't want... we don't have to—─"
"A baby? A real live baby?"
"Erm... yes?"
"We're going to have a baby?" For a second, I could have sworn he was happy. Excited even.
"Well, we don't have to. I mean, I know you don't want children. Please don't be angry."
He finally seemed to get over the shock and pay attention to what it was that I was blabbering about. "Angry?" I shut my eyes, waiting for the furious rage his infamous temper would hurl at me. "Why on earth would I be angry?"
I have to admit, that threw me. It had not been what I had been expecting, at all. "Well, because... you're not angry?"
"No, Lily. Of course not." He placed his hands on my hips gently, pulling me just a bit closer. I looked up and all I could see was the golden green of his eyes. Falling into that familiar colour, I wondered how on earth I could have thought he would react in such a foul way. He had never even come close to acting anything resembling irate towards me or around me, with the exception of that incident with Snape back in school. "We're making a family." He murmured and at this, he smiled.
"So you don't want to... abort it?" I whispered.
"No, Lily. No, I don't." He took a deep breath and began talking quietly, as if any wrong word would send me into a fit of nonsensical denial. "You and I... we made something. Something bigger than marriage and more precious than love. I have been waiting to be a family with you, to make a family with you, for years, Lily." He kissed me, long and impeccably sweet. "A baby!" He whispered as he pulled away.
I couldn't help grinning madly.
"Now, have you eaten anything today?" He going to absolutely adore bossing some child —— our child —— around. I would finally get a reprieve from that stern, paternal voice of his. Though, that wouldn't be for another nine months and I'm sure he would give me enough parenting for both the child and myself. I could hardly wait.
"Er... no." I admitted, feeling slightly guilty. "That whole section of the house reeks. It makes me sick. I can't even stand to walk near it." I groaned. "We're going to have to dispose of all the food and douse everything in bleach. Lovely."
He chuckled. "Sure, darling. But for now, I'll go and get you some tea and crackers. Wait in the living room." He waved his wand casually over his shoulder and a fire ignited in the hearth, lighting the living room. He kissed my forehead and left for the kitchen.
A baby. I was going to have a baby. We were going to have a baby. I could hardly wait.
