I went home that night feeling slightly uneasy. Why? I don't know. It could've been because my boss's son is now going to be… I don't know what he is going to be but all I know is I saw him half naked with whips and chains and other things.
I also know is he is going to make me happy. At least, he better. I plopped down on the couch, Luna jumping on my lap purring contently.
What is it with society today that says unless every bone in your body is exposed, you're fat and ugly? Personally, I find it disgusting.
If I were a guy I'd want some meat on my woman. Though I don't know from personal experience it would probably hurt having your balls slap against a boney ass while having sex.
What is it about thin women that make them more appealing? She could be the most atrocious looking female in the world and I swear a man would pick her over me only because this woman was thin. By her I mean a skinny chick in general.
Why would a man want someone who's afraid of eating opposed to me, who has a full figure and a decent face?
A vagina is a vagina I guess.
I don't think I'm ugly! I think I'm quite cute, thank you! So tell me world…why? Perhaps I'm not as cute as I think I am.
Perhaps that's just something I tell myself so that I can live the next day without the pain that I've learned to block out.
The fat jokes, the comments and gossiping, the laughing. Yes they are all painful, down to the very core. I learned a long time ago to block it out just so I could get by day to day without wanting to die.
Ok Serena, relax. Breathe. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Think about how beautiful you are…or how beautiful you will be.
I can almost picture myself; a flat stomach with a butt to die for, my long golden locks swaying in the wind as I walk down the sandy beach in a skimpy little bikini. I can almost hear the whispering of other women gossiping about me. Men take off their sunglasses and do a double take as I stride by, my head held high.
But soon I come back to the excruciating reality that I have a long, long way to go before I could ever look like that.
Have faith Serena! We haven't even started yet! Breath, relax. Let Darien do his job and you'll be on your way to being everything you ever hoped and dreamed; thin and beautiful.
"Wow Luna. What a day." I sighed as I leaned back into the cushions.
"Good thing tomorrow is Saturday. You don't think he'll come over at 7 in the morning do you?" I asked to…the cat. "Me either."
--
"Wake up, sunshine."
Groan.
"Serena. Hello?"
Groan.
"Ok. You asked for it."
I thought I was dreaming…until I felt a hands grabbing hold of my body.
"What are you doing??" I screamed as I jumped out of bed.
"It's time to get up, Serena. We have a big day ahead of us." Darien said calmly as he sipped on a cup of coffee.
"How did you get in here?!"
"It's amazing what good looks and a little charm will do to a landlady."
I laid back down on the bed, my hands covering my face.
"Time to get up. Today is the first day to happiness." Darien said as he pulled the covers off me.
"God, just kill me. What did I do to deserve this?" I groaned in frustration.
"Serena, get your ass out of bed. We have lots to do." Darien said as he grabbed my hands off my face and pulled to my feet.
"Is it too late to change my mind?"
"Yes, it is. You are stuck with me until the end."
"I'm going to take a shower. Don't steal anything."
"You might want to wait on the shower."
"Why? Why can't I take a shower, Darien?!" I asked totally annoyed and completely frustrated.
"Because we're going to go exercise. No sense in washing twice. Now get some comfortable work out clothes on and let's go."
"You're joking right?"
"Does it look like it?"
I look at him and noticed he had on basketball shorts, t-shirt and running shoes. No, the ass was not joking.
"This is stupid. God why did I have to end up with you, of all people, as my therapist or nymph or whatever you are." I grumbled as I grabbed a pair of black cotton Capri's, pink NYU Law School tee and my Nike cross trainers.
"Serena, do me a favor?" Darien whispered as he grabbed me from behind and tickled my ear with his breath.
He pressed his body into mine which, for some reason, really turned me on. I mean, he was hot as Hell and this was the closest I had been with a man since Prom night.
My head fell back against his chest as his arms entwined around my chest and stomach.
"What?" I gulped.
"Stop your bitching."
"Oh go to Hell. I have a headache."
"Take an Aspirin."
"I'm too tired."
"Too bad."
"I think I'm coming down with something." I said as I faked a cough.
"We'll get you some cough drops."
Damn there was absolutely NO winning with this man.
"My knees hurt." I whined.
"Serena, do you know why your knees hurt? You're too fucking fat! Now get dressed. We have work to do!"
"Excuse me!? What did you just say?!" I yelled, tears almost spilling over.
"I'm sorry to put it that way but it was the only way to get you motivated. Now move!"
He let me go and I stormed into the bathroom, got dressed, brushed my teeth and put my hair into a ponytail.
When I slammed the bathroom door I heard him yell "Weigh yourself!"
Why would I want to do that? The scale is a cruel, demonic creature that must be destroyed. For now it's slumbering in the linen closet (where it's been for the last 4 years still in the box), why would I want to wake it?
It's the same battle every time. It calls me, lures me to stand upon it with promises of a self-esteem boost and a jolt of happiness. But it lies. Yes…the scale…the world's sneakiest, most evil, lying invention. Whoever invented it should be shot.
"So how much do you weight?" He asked as I walked out of the bathroom twenty minutes later.
"180."
"Liar."
"I am not!"
He gave me that 'you're so full of shit and I know you're full of shit so why even try to hide it' look and headed into my bathroom.
"You weigh 212, Tanelian."
"How do you know?" I asked innocently.
Damn it all, he knows too much and must be killed.
"You haven't used this scale before, have you?"
"Of course I have. I've used it a million times. What makes you think that?"
"Because there's still plastic on it and you didn't know it has a memory feature."
Ok, so now I'm a little embarrassed. What the heck! Of course I didn't know it had a memory feature on it! Well there goes that idea of lying about my weight.
Stupid men with their stupid technology and stupid scale with the stupid memory feature. I warned you the scale was evil didn't I?!
So without a word, I huffed out my bedroom furious that Darien was hot and smart.
--
"How do you feel?" He asked as I all but passed out on the couch in my living room.
"Go to Hell…" I moaned.
Every bone, every muscle hurt like I had just run the Boston Marathon…and I only jogged around the block.
"Oh, Serena you say such things now but when this is over you'll be so grateful and happy."
"Darien, leave me alone. I'm hot, sweaty, hungry, sore, thi-"
"Oh, poor Serena. Let me play the world's smallest violin." He mimicked as he sat on the chair across from me. "Go take a shower and get ready. I'll be back in an hour to take you to breakfast and start our day."
"Fine…" I rolled off the couch.
"Darien, you do know you are not coming in the shower with me, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Then why are you following me?"
"I'm going to pick out your outfit. Your bathroom is connected to your bedroom so I kinda have to go this way."
"I am perfectly capable of picking out my own clothes."
"Really, that's why you look like you're a 60 year old spinster. I'm picking out your outfit. I want you to do your hair and spend time on your make- up. Like you did last night. You were hot yesterday."
"Darien, I know what your job is but please don't tell me things like that if you don't mean it. You make me feel worse because I know it's a lie."
"Serena, I'm not lying. Between the first time I saw you in your Lane Bryant stretch pants and last night, you were a completely different person."
"What happened to I'm too fucking fat?" I asked almost hurt.
"I'm sorry about that, I really am. But it did get you motivated, didn't it? I think you've got serious potential to be an incredibly gorgeous woman both inside and out. Right now, you're neutral. You lack self esteem and confidence and it shows. But we will fix that. By the time I'm done you'll have every man in the whole state knocking down your door just so he can get a glimpse at the most beautiful, most confident woman in the world. You have to trust me when I say that. You are so close to loving yourself you can taste it."
What could I say to that!? I had a gorgeous man telling me I was gorgeous. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, all the while grinning from ear to ear.
--
"You have to come out of there sometime!"
"No, Darien! I look like a 2 hooker!"
"Serena, come out!"
"NO!"
"I'll come in there and drag you out myself!"
Knowing he probably would, I opened the door and stepped out. That was the last time I was letting him pick out my outfit!
"You look good, Serena."
"I'm not going out in public like this."
"What's wrong with it? Remember this all came from your closet."
"I like the pink skirt, I never wear it because I have thick calves and cankles and it only comes to right above my knees. The black top is cute too…if it wasn't a total boob shirt. I'm too self conscience for this!"
"Serena, you look gorgeous. Put your shoes on and let's go."
"How come you get to wear jeans and I can't?" I whined.
"Because I'm a guy. Guys don't wear skirts. Besides, you need to flaunt what you've got. Show some confidence. Guys love that in a woman."
I sighed as I grabbed my black sandals and purse. I couldn't believe I was going to be seen in public like this. I grabbed my sunglasses from the kitchen counter and waited anxiously by the door for Darien.
"Are you ready?"
"God, you are impatient. You're going to be more difficult to work with then I thought."
"Bite the fattest part of my ass, Darien. This is all your fault. Let's go."
--
"What can I get for you today?" The cute little brunette waitress asked.
"Well, Lita, I will have an order of bacon, two eggs over easy, an order of pancakes and a large orange juice."
"Thank you." She said as he tossed her ponytail over her shoulder. Her green eyes twinkled when she looked at Darien. Her small hips swayed back and forth slowly as she wrote down his order. God, I really hated her too.
"And for you?" She asked me.
"I'll have-"
"She'll have a two egg omlette, whites only, with all the veggies you have, light on the cheese, and an unsweetened iced tea with lemon." Darien cut me off.
"Very good, I'll be back shortly."
"Why did you order for me? That's not even what I wanted!" I growled.
"Serena, you have yet to learn that as of today I'm in charge. I'm in charge of your body and your mind."
"You have got to be kidding me!" I held my head in hands and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I wanted to kill Darien Shields.
"Let's make a deal, Serena."
"What kind of deal?"
"You devote yourself to me for six months. Just six months from now. That's around Christmas time that this will be over. If I help you get yourself on track and who knows, maybe even get you to have sex, I'll pay your rent for a year. If you want to end it now, no hard feelings, I'll walk out of your life forever and you'll never hear from me again. What's the worst that could happen? You lose a little weight, love yourself, and maybe even score with a guy who didn't look like he stuck his head in a tub full of fry grease. What do you say?"
Hmm…not a bad arrangement. I could stand to lose a few pounds and my rent paid for a year! Hot damn, not a bad deal at all!
"Alright Darien. You have yourself a deal. Six months. That's it. And you have to convince your father to give me a raise and not treat me like I'm a dumb, worthless lowly piece of scum."
"Deal. Oh and Serena? I forgot to mention one minor but very important detail."
"Yes?"
"We will be having sex at some point in time. It's just how I work things. Hot, passionate, orgasmic sex…well, why am I explaining it? You'll find out soon enough."
"WHAT?!"
And that was when I signed my soul to the Devil himself, Mr. Darien Shields. May God have mercy on my soul.
--
We went out shopping that afternoon to a few malls. He had an awesome car. A black Prowler convertible. I would have killed to have a car like this. I'll just go into my Swiss bank account and take out 85,000 and buy one…if I had a Swiss bank account and 85,000.
"I don't see the point in going shopping if I'm just going to lose weight and have to go shopping all over again."
"Because Serena, aside from like five pieces of clothing in the entire closet, you have nothing to wear that flatters you. Regardless of how much weight you do or do not lose, I refuse to let you walk around in public looking like, well I'm too much a gentleman to say what you look like. Just trust me when I say that a third of your problem is your wardrobe."
"Darien, I have to ask you this." I said abruptly in all seriousness.
"What's that?"
"Please don't take this the wrong way but…are you gay?"
You would've sworn I just said I killed his dog with the look he gave me.
"Are you serious?"
"I kid you not. I'm very serious. Are you gay? You almost look like one of the guys on Queer Eye. No offense."
"Well I guess I deserve to have my pride crying for a little bit considering I haven't been that nice to you."
"It's just a question. Geeze, you're such a baby." I rolled my eyes.
"No I'm not! And I'm not gay! If I was gay how could I do my job, you twit!"
"I dunno, maybe you're bi. You just don't act like a straight guy. That's all."
"And how does a straight guy act, do tell." He answered back sarcastically.
"Well for starters it's usually the woman dressing them. Not the other way around. And you seem to know an awful lot about women and fashion and just untraditional male interests."
"Serena? Do me a favor?"
"I guess."
"Shut up."
I glared at him and turned my head away so I could stare out the window. Who did he think he was telling me to shut up!? I just asked if he was…oh I see the problem. No wonder you can't get a boyfriend Serena!
--
"You cannot possibly be serious. I'm not wearing that."
"Serena try it on and don't give me hard time."
"No. It's as simple as that. No. No. No. and did I mention….No!"
"You don't get a say in this Miss Tanelian. Now get your ass in there and put on the damn outfit and show it to me or I will drag you in there, undress you myself and –"
"Fine, point taken! You're such an asshole, you know that?!" I gritted between my teeth as I grabbed the stupid clothes out of his hands.
"I'm not an asshole; you just have yet to realize that I'm in charge of this operation. You don't get a say in the matter, especially when it comes to clothes…Roseanne."
"Darien I should-"
"Serena. Less talking. More changing." He said casually as he looked at more racks of clothes.
So I did as I was told for once. I marched my ass into the fitting room and proceeded to strip all the while mumbling under my breath on the reasons why I was doing this.
"So, are you coming out?"
"If I must." I sighed as I opened the door.
It wasn't that bad really. It looked worse on the hanger. It was a sundress; white, empire waist and long. It had cute little butterflies sporadically yet strategically placed all over the bottom flying their ways towards the top.
Ok, I'll admit it…he has decent taste.
"I like it. It makes you look innocent." He complimented.
"Innocent?! Darien, they don't come much more innocent then me." I pouted batting my pretty eyelashes.
"I'm not even going there. But we'll take that dress. Here are some more things for you to try on." He said handing me a handful of bunched up material.
Rolling my eyes I grabbed them and headed back into the tiny little cubicle.
--
"Well Serena, I had a great day and you did just fine. I'll be back again bright and early tomorrow."
"Can you please make it after 10? Please? It's Sunday." I whined.
"For you, anything. I'll be here at 10 a.m. sharp." He smiled sweetly.
"Alright, then I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for the clothes and for a great day." I stated shyly fidgeting with my fingers.
"Oh, Serena? Before you leave, there is something I have to do."
"What's that?"
And before I could say another word he leaned closer to me, his lips so close to mine I could almost taste them. Oh good God above he was going to kiss me! What to do! I started to close my eyes and lean in a little more, my lips slowing starting to pucker when I heard…
"Serena, what are you doing?"
"Uhh…nothing. What were you doing?"
"Wiping the ketchup off that's been on your cheek since lunch." He answered as he stuck his finger in my mouth and wiped my cheek.
"Oh. Well why didn't you tell me?!" I yelled, not so much because I was mad I had ketchup on my face but more at the fact that I was totally, completely and whole heartedly embarrassed.
So before I could make a bigger ass out of myself I opened the car door and stepped out making my way towards my apartment building. I know it was rude of me to not even say good-bye but what would you have done?!
I don't know why I'm so mad at him. Technically he didn't do anything. So after a couple of deep sighs, I stepped off the elevator and opened the door to my lonely little home, the only person to greet me at the door being Luna.
I was about to close the door behind me when I felt two strong arms wrap around me, warm breath tickling my ear. The feeling that arose from such actions…I knew who my intruder was.
"How did you-?" I started ask.
"If you wanted to kiss me Serena, all you had to do was ask." Darien whispered gruffly.
His ebony locks fell freely in front of his eyes; his gorgeous, ocean blue eyes. Ohhh, I swear if he continues to look at me with those ravishing eyes, I'll have an orgasm.
"Who said I wanted to ki-"I started to say before I was cut off again.
Before I knew what was happening, my body was thrown against the wall and his lips were crashed upon mine in a passionate, hungry affair. My arms wrapped themselves around his neck and I pulled him closer.
He trailed away from my lips down my jaw and landed against my neck. His tongue traced little patterns at a certain spot behind my ear. I let out a small moan and threw my head back in complete pleasure and ecstasy.
Holy crap all this man was doing was kissing me! I could easily live without sex for the rest of my life as long as I had someone as gorgeous as Darien and who could kiss as great as him. What the Hell, I'll just take Darien!
He brought his lips up to mine again pressing his body against me. When he nibbled on my bottom lip, that's when I lost it.
Literally.
I got so wrapped up in the wonderful feelings, I threw my head back against the wall except this time I saw stars and had an excruciating headache.
My last memory was of Darien saying "You ok? Serena? Shit, where's a phone?!"
Way to go Meatball Head! You have a gorgeous man making out with you and you have to have a total klutz attack and black out. Your pride and sub-conscious will be hearing about this when you wake up, ditz!
--
