I wasn't originally planning to make this two parts, but I felt it needed an ending that wasn't so wide open.
Part 2
Say Something
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Jude Harrison and Tom Quincy looked at each other as partners in crime. For a while the secrecy of their sexual affair had been arousing. Yes, she had broken up with Tristan, but they couldn't just come out and address why. It would surely tear the family apart and Jude was already hated at the Quincy household. She had broke Tristan's heart without any warning or real reason and left him to console in his mother and brother. By day Tom was forced to hate Jude, but by night he would drown inside her. Although they were aware of the emotions between them, it had never been mentioned. They were both too afraid to discuss what lies within their hearts because then it would make real; it would make everything more complicated than it already was. But the end of the summer was nearing and Tom would have to return to college; something they both had ignored over the past months until this moment. Jude had her hands wrapped tightly around his neck as Tom pushed in and out of her passionately slow. She refused to look into his eyes, they were filled with so much more than lust now and it was painful. It did not matter how much either felt for one another they just knew it could never work. Her legs draped around his waist as her head flew back in ecstasy. Tom aimlessly drove into her searching for his release, but it was getting harder to find pleasure in this night. He had snuck through her window and the minute their eyes met both knew, wordlessly, what tonight meant. Their affair was smoldering and it wasn't due to lack of desire or sex drive. Their feelings had consumed them whole and not being able to claim one another as they so desperately needed had destroyed them. Denying a soul its mate is one of the most gut wrenching and heart breaking endeavors. He pumped his last bit of energy into her as sweat dripped down his forehead. Tom collapsed beside her, much like their first time together, and finally let his eyes settle upon her blue orbs. Jude had looked most beautiful beneath the moonlight creeping through her window; it gracefully accentuated her cheek and jawbones but still allowed her eyes to be seen and magnified through the shine of her blonde hair. Taking in the sight he smiled initially until the full image impacted him; she had been crying.
"Jude," he whispered wiping a tear from her face, "what's wrong?" There was no reply just soft sobs as he pulled her close to him. As soon as her head nuzzled against his chest he instinctively brushed his fingers through her entangled damp hair. Hearing her cry out was tightening his chest and burning his eyes. Why had he even asked? Tom knew exactly what was happening, "Say something Jude, please." She shook her head feverishly into his chest before expelling even louder weeps. These noises had scared him; they tore the beating organ inside of his chest apart. "Please, just talk to me."
Jude hadn't planned on saying anything; she planned on icing him out their last night together in hope it would make this any less painful. But that plan had backfired as soon as she heard the sobs coming from his end. Her refusal to speak toppled by her crying had done him in. "Tommy," was all she managed at first. Hearing her tiny voice against his chest made his arms push her out so he could fully look at her. Their faces both soaked were plastered with agonized expressions. "It's time we talk isn't it?"
It is not like they haven't talked before, no, this was just a different kind of talk. In fact Tom and Jude usually never shut up when together besides when they were in each other's heat. Most nights were spent rambling about childhood experiences and future dreams. They had learned one another inside and out in two months and the connection between them was becoming stronger, but futile. It did not matter he knew Jude's favorite color was a subtle pink; not Barbie pink or even a feminine pink, it was the pink in the sky on early summer mornings. Those same early summer mornings they had spent together right around when the sun would rise.
"That pink!" Jude declared with her index finger pointing to the sky, "I like that pink."
Tom chuckled at how eager and excited she became, "just that pink?"
"Yes," she stated in a dominant tone while facing him. They had been lying on top of her roof almost all night trying to see a shooting star, but as the hours passed and one never came, they got lost in conversation. It was one of the nights they did not get intimate sexually, but that does not mean there was no intimacy between them. "It's beautiful and calming and it makes me feel like no matter what is going on in life that everything will be okay."
Tom could not argue with her on that; there was nothing more peaceful than the morning skies of the summer. He watched her lips curve upward and her eyes glisten, "You're beautiful."
No it did not matter that because of Jude his favorite color now too, was that pink. It did not matter because fate had destined them to be star-crossed lovers. Thinking back to that night he noted it was one of his favorites. It was a few weeks after their initial encounter and it was when their relationship had most of its flame. Now as they entered the smoking stage of that flame it was mostly bitter. The sex had been more aggressive and the talking came less; it was a way to deal with the inevitable goodbye. Tom had gone to college in the states for musical engineering and after graduation he planned on staying there, to pursue his career; graduation was two semesters away. Even if they had the courage to face his family it would not matter in the end; he would be gone.
"Yeah, we should talk." Tom hushed while caressing her face.
Jude grabbed her comforter tightly for security, "I'm going to miss you Tommy."
"Jude I'm going to miss you too. You know that," he responded genuinely.
"Not like I'm going to. I will miss you every day for the rest of my life." Jude had stunned him. He had not expected her to be so open and sincere. He searched her eyes and rapidly understood she was being truthful. "I feel like I'm losing a piece of me Tommy. I didn't expect or want any of this. I thought if we kept having sex and I kept ignoring my feelings that everything would be okay. I mentally prepared myself over and over again for this very moment, but yet it's here now and I'm lost. I don't want to let you go, but I know I have to." Tom remained quiet; unable to speak, "Say something Tommy. Damn it! Say something!" Her voice rose heatedly; now his silence was tearing her apart. Tears lapsed her eyes and between sobs she spoke, "Say something!"
Tom took a deep breath, "Jude." He murmured as his thumb lapped up the wetness of her cheeks, "I think that-" he stumbled over his words not because of uncertainty, but because of nerves, "that-that I might possibly be-" Spit it out Tom, spit it out, he internally yelled at himself, "Well I think that I might be in love with you." He wasn't sure what exactly to expect from Jude, but he definitely was prepared for even more crying, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. I made things worse."
"No, I'm glad you said it," she admitted through whimpers. "I think I may be in love with you too, but it doesn't matter and that's what sucks so bad about this. It doesn't matter because we can't be together."
It saddened him to hear those words we can't be together. It echoed through his head; he knew it was true. "I never thought it would be this hard."
Jude's sobbing had slowed and she sat up facing her back towards Tom. He leaned forward to push himself up. She tried collecting herself and wiping her own tears but an electric shock went up her spine when his lips lightly kissed her shoulder blades. She sighed in content feeling his warmth wrap around her. Even knowing this may be the last time she'd ever be close to him she couldn't help but smile and blush from his sensual touch. He rested on his elbow wrapped behind her and placed a hand on the back of her head, "I love you Jude Harrison." He whispered before pulling her into a tender kiss, "I love you so much."
The taste of salty tears was mixed into their bruising goodbye kisses. When they finally pulled back Jude peered out the window noticing the sun was rising, "It's morning." Tom knew exactly what she meant. He watched as her figure rose from the bed and bent down. She grabbed his oversized white tee shirt and draped it over her slim stature. She looked absolutely stunning in his clothing. Jude looked at him innocently as she handed his boxers and shorts over. He knew it was time to leave so he put on his clothing slowly watching as she stared at him.
She bit her lips in anxiety as he shuffled through her closet and pulled out the largest grey hoodie she had; it had Carson High in deep red letters and smelled like her, vanilla, "Can I keep this?"
Jude shook her head yes, "As long as I can keep this." She wrapped her arms around her body holding his scented shirt tightly.
Tom brought the sweatshirt over his head and walk to Jude, "Of course." He placed a warm kiss on her forehead, "Maybe one day-"
"No Tommy," she could read his mind and knew exactly what he was about to say. "There's no one day. You'll be in the states and you're family-"
"Will get over it," Tom interrupted; they had known each other too well. They could have thousands of conversations with their eyes never needing to speak.
"By the time that one day comes around you'll have forgotten about me," Jude hushed ducking her head.
Tom picked up her chin, "Never."
Their lips met for one last kiss before he began his crawl out the window. She watched him leave, but with a bolt of energy she flung herself to the window to hang her head out, "I love you Tom Quincy!" She shouted out loudly not caring who heard.
Tom took another look up to the window and smiled, "I'll love you forever Jude."
His words clung to her heart as she fell to her bed. The tears had dried up, but she would never be complete again. Her summer love had been forbidden, exciting, and passionate. It was every thing a young girl could have dreamed of. But her summer love was not just a fling, she found the love of her life and was forced to say goodbye. Although the words were never actually spoken they both said it through their eyes, they said it through that last urgent kiss.
Tom crashed into his bed when he got home. His hands were folded on his stomach as he stared at the ceiling. He heard the squeaking of his pool house door open and to his surprise Tristan rounded the corner of the room divider, "You went out every night this summer."
"And?" Tom asked wondering where this conversation was leading, wondering why his brother was even awake at 6am.
Tristan shrugged his shoulders, "It's just the family can tell."
"Tell what?"
"You're in love," Tristan responded. "But you never brought her home, why?"
Tom swallowed hard, he knew exactly why he could never bring the love of his life home, but he couldn't just say it. "Because we can't be together."
Tristan nodded, "I know that look because I used to have it." Tommy tilted his head and propped himself up on his elbows, "I also know those hoodies are new to the school as of this year. And if I think about it you got that look in your eyes just around the same time I lost mine." Tom's breathing became rigid, "You look like you fell in love with Jude Harrison."
"I-I-" Tom stuttered unsure how to continue, "I don't know what to say."
"We all saw it you know. The way you sang together on Christmas. God, I wished every day I could get an ounce of the passion her eyes gave to you. Mom said you would never act on it, but I knew different. I said mom if he loves her it's only a matter of time. I'm not mad you know," Tristan added as his hand fiddled over the screen divider. "I put it all together almost right away. She just broke up with me out of nowhere and wouldn't even talk to me. Then you started disappearing every night and your clothes wreaked of-"
"Vanilla," Tom smiled weakly to himself."
Tristan bobbed his head, "Yeah vanilla. So did you say goodbye?"
"We didn't have too," Tom stated as his face faltered, "We just knew it was over."
"I'm sorry Tommy," Tristan sighed seeming earnest. "Getting over her is rough, but at least we don't have another brother." They both shared a laugh, "So I was right then, you do love her?"
"Since the first day I saw her," Tom fell back into bed and images of all the times they spent together rushed through his mind. He hadn't noticed that his mind escaped the conversation for minutes; it had only felt like seconds of reminiscing, but when he went to speak again he finally realized Tristan had left. Although the secret was now off his chest it didn't make the pain any less. It had appeared through words Tristan accepted it, but Tom knew better, they were brothers. They had an equal unspoken bond just as him and Jude; both Quincy boys were distraught in their love for one girl, Jude Harrison.
