So I finally got a better idea of where this story is going, and I'm actually quite excited about it. It's proven to be an interesting challenge keeping Raven in character, but I'm also considering that she's older and more mature. It makes for an interesting experience writing her. Also, I got a hold of the Teen Titans Go! comic series that followed the show. It's given me a little more insight into her show persona. Also started re-watching all five seasons of the show to mine it for material on all the Titans.

I'm not sure how long this story is going to be, but I don't intend any real teenage angsty fluff. I wanted to explore this as adults in adult relationships, though there is actually plenty of angst in adult relationships too. :-) However this story may center on Mark and Raven, there's gonna be plenty of stuff going on. Hopefully, I won't bore anybody with my heavy technical engineering crap. I think it's important to the story, but who wants to read that shit all the time? I will promise this though: At no point will Mark join the Titans proper. He is who he is. No hidden potential to become a superhero crimefighter. No likely accidents to give him any super powers. He is going to remain the anti-Gary-Stu.

These chapters are subject to change when I find inaccuracies or come up with better writing. These are rough drafts. Any reviews or suggestions are gladly welcomed.

Disclaimer here: I don't own any of these characters, except for Mark. I made him. He's mine.

-MeatLips


At about six am, I was awakened from my repose by a sharp knock upon my door. I had fallen asleep with my tablet while reading an especially intriguing story on a certain changeling's favorite fanfiction site. My glasses were still on my face. Melvin meowed at me as I sat up from the bed and straightened my glasses. Glancing at the clock, I wondered who would be banging on my door that early. I usually didn't hang out the IT shingle until at least 9am.

With a yawn, I stood up and shuffled to the door when it slid open revealing Cyborg and Robin.

I blinked. "You guys look remarkably chipper this morning. It's 6am. Am I fired or something?"

"Ha, you wish," Cyborg grinned, "or more likely after what we gots ta show ya, you'll be thanking your lucky stars!"

Robin also was smiling. The boy wonder (man wonder now?) stood with his arms crossed and looked at me.

"Get your shoes on and come with us," Robin said, "We've got a lot to cover."

Ten minutes later (hey, I wanted to brush my teeth) we rode the elevator to the bottom floor of the tower. At the first floor, the elevator stopped but didn't open its doors.

I blinked again. "Ok, so what are we doing?"

Robin flipped open a panel next to the doors revealing a key pad and a biometric palm scanner. He typed in a code and took off his glove to place his hand against the sensor. The elevators digital readout suddenly read ACCESS GRANTED and the elevator proceeded to sink down below the first floor.

"Wait," I said, glancing up at Cyborg, "There are more levels below the ground?"

"Just one," Cyborg responded, "And this one is going to be very relevant to your skill-set."

The doors opened. Beyond them, I saw a vast space. Everything was white and clean and loud with the sounds of many system fans in many racks and the underlying hum of an enterprise class HVAC. I staggered in and fell to my knees as I gazed out at the rows of racks loaded with advanced system hardware.

"Welcome to the JLU's west coast data aggregation facility," Robin said behind me, "You think he likes it, Vic?"

"I most certainly believe he does, Rob," Cyborg responded.

My eyes were tearing up. The well organized rows that were separated into hot and cold aisles, the clean and well organized network cabling that cascaded in neat bundles from the overhead caged conduits into each rack, the two world class UPS systems at the back of the room.

"It's beautiful," I whispered.

Robin and Cyborg each took an arm and helped me back to my feet. Then they guided me to a room on the left side that had a glass panel for a window. Inside, there was a large desk with four 24 inch monitors arrayed before a single keyboard and mouse. On the wall opposite the desk there were even larger monitors displaying power usage, bandwidth usage, and a virtual map of every system and their associated status. The loudness of the data center became greately muted when they closed the door.

"So here's the deal," Cyborg said, "This datacenter currently replicates from both the JLU's primary datacenter in Metropolis and the mainframes on the Watchtower. The plan is to build similar facilities at the other three Titan Towers, specifically Titans East, Titans North, and Titans South. What we need you to do is to work with the managers of those DCs and set up a virtual load balance. JLU doesn't want data in any centralized location, so they want all six sites to be load balanced for access from anywhere. Ultimately they want this to be their own cloud service."

"Care and feeding of this site is going to be your primary responsibility," Robin said, "It is a dark site, which is why you needed your security clearance, but it has high visibility from any member group in the JLU."

I gazed at Cyborg and Robin. "I'm so embarassed," I whispered, "All I got you guys was pizza."

Cyborg got me set up in the tower security system and biometric scanner. Then he pulled out the seat and offered it to me. Sliding into that seat felt like sliding into the drivers seat of a brand new Ferrari.

"So what's the backbone speed?" I asked as I sat down.

"100G InfiniBand dedicated," Cyborg said, "The Tower has 40G for its own interconnect, but it's segregated from this place."

I whistled. "That's a fat pipe. What's JLU using all this for computing power for?"

"Statistics, reports, data modeling, crime rate predictions, documentation, criminal profiles," Robin responded, counting each item off on his fingers, "Lots of data-mining too. Law enforcement agencies from around the world have links into this pile, so data is constantly exchanged with them. Basically, a lot of shit. The four Titans teams also use it and update the primary databases with our own data and reports."

"Wow," I whispered.

"Anyway, play nice and have fun," Cyborg said with a grin, "Don't break anything."

He and Robin left me to my own devices after that.

"Oh yeah," I murmured to the many screens, "Let's get acquainted. Show me those boobies, baby! Daddy wants a lapdance!"

The hours that followed I spent deep underground in that glass aquarium that I considered to be the Network Operations Center, or NOC. Emails, live chats with the other DCMs, coding and network design and implementation, I was buried in my work.

I didn't realize I had passed out until I felt someone grab my hair and lift my head from the keyboard where I had been filling line after line on the screen with nothing but the letter 'n.' I blearily opened my eyes and found a stunning pair of amethyst orbs staring into my face.

"Mark, you need to come back upstairs," Raven said.

"G-grah," I responded, "G-got a bit m-more to do here."

Raven sighed and pushed me back into my chair.

"I didn't want to have to resort to this," She crossed her arms, "But we have your cat. Either come upstairs now or Star is going to feed him to Silkie."

I blinked at the dark Titan.

"Wait, who is Silkie?"

Raven arched an eyebrow at that. "I guess you'd better come up and find out, huh?" She wrinkled her nose. "You probably want to hit the shower too, while you're at it."

Awesome, I thought, I finally have a semi-conversation with Raven and I'm stinking with- "Wait, how long have I been down here?"

"A day and a half or so."

"Oh shit! Melvin must be starving!" I staggered to my feet. "I gotta get upstairs! Oh double-shit, he needs his medication!"

"Star has been taking care of Melvin," Raven said, "so he's not starving." She cocked her head. "What is he on medication for?"

I stumbled over my feet, almost falling. Damn, I really have been down here too long!

"I have to give him ten milligrams of prednisone every other day for his stomatitis."

We finally got into the elevator.

"What's stomatitis?" Raven asked.

"His gums and the back of his throat get inflamed and he gets really uncomfortable," I said, "He already had a bunch of teeth pulled, but the prednisone is really the only way to control it."

"Oh, I guess that explains why he felt much better after I healed him."

"I'm sure he would..." I turned to stare at her. "Wait, you healed him? You can do that?"

Raven shrugged. "Yes. His mouth was bleeding. Star thought he might have hurt himself. I could tell he was in pain because he was cranky."

"How did you know he was cranky?"

She gave me a funny look. "I'm an empath."

I felt my chest freeze. "So you can tell what people are feeling?"

"That's how it works."

"S-s-so you know how-"

"We're here," Raven said quickly as the doors slid open to the ninth floor, "Starfire has Melvin in her room. I'll see you later."

I watched wide-eyed as she opened a black portal in the hallway and disappeared abruptly.

Oh fuck. Oh fuckity fuck. Oh fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

I didn't think my face could get any redder by the time I got to Starfire's door.

"Oh friend Mark!" Starfire exclaimed as she opened her door, "The Melvin cat has been resting quite comfortably with Silkie!"

"There's that name again," I muttered, "who is Silkie?"

Starfire gestured towards two lumps on her bed. I could recognize one of the furry lumps as my cat Melvin, but the other looked rather odd. It was a little larger than Melvin, very pale, and had what appeared to be little antennae sticking out of it's head. Starfire floated over and swept the pale lump into her arms. She held it up.

"This is my little Bumgorf, Silkie!" she said proudly.

I stared at the thing. It looked like some kind of caterpillar. It had multiple legs, a furry body, and a large mouth with widely spaced teeth. It's tongue rolled out of it's mouth.

"Oh, my..." I stammered, "it's um, adorable."

"Silkie," Starfire said as she held up the caterpillar, "This is friend Mark! He is the new guy of the IT!"

I swear that thing smiled at me.

"He is very popular on the Instagram," Starfire said proudly, "Would you like to follow me on the Instagram?"

I smiled weakly. "My phone battery is dead right now, but I'll gladly follow you as soon as I'm able to."

"Wonderful!"

I took Melvin back to my room and deposited him on the floor. He gave me a narrow-eyed glare as if to ask me where the hell I'd been for the last few days. Then he went into the bathroom to hit up the litterbox. I plugged in my phone and turned it on. I was immediately inundated with numerous text and voice messages from Robin and Cyborg asking me when I planned to come up for air. The last text message was from Beast Boy.

'asked Rae to get u frm where ever the hell u r. U owe me 1. BTW, my laptop in yet -BB'

I sighed. I was feeling mortified. Raven was an empath. How the fuckity fuck could I have forgotten that? I figured she was completely aware of my schoolboy crush. The sheer magnitude of awkwardness involved here would blot out the sun. I wanted to go dig a hole somewhere and bury myself.

My phone rang and I grabbed it to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey buddy," Cyborg's voice filtered through, "Glad to hear you aren't dead."

"Why did you guys let me stay down there for so long?"

"We figured you were grown up enough to come upstairs on your own. Also, it's kind of important work. For future reference though, you don't have to be down there to work on that stuff."

"Yeah," I sighed, "I know. It's just that when I get really focused on something, time seems to slip away from me."

"Anyway," Cyborg continued, "Get yourself cleaned up and come up to the rec room. We're going out tonight."

I blinked. "Wait, really?"

"Hell yeah, we're a team," Cyborg said, "We do team shit all the time. It's fun!"

"But I'm not a Titan."

"You might not be a card-carrying member of the Teen Titans, but you are part of our team and now part of our family. So get your ass in gear and get up here."

I swore I could hear him grin.

I got into the shower and cleaned up thoroughly. Then I got out and took a pass at my face with my trusty beard-trimmer. When I was satisfied that I no longer resembled Grizzly Adams, I flossed and brushed and then glared at my paunch in the mirror. Man... I tried holding my stomach in to see if it made a difference. Just seemed like the fat squeezed up into my man-tits. I hadn't really properly eaten in like thirty-six hours, aside from whatever snacks Cyborg had stocked in the minifridge down in the NOC. Seemed like it didn't matter to my gut.

I gotta ask Robin if he could recommend an exercise regimen that would help burn off this shit, I thought.

I sighed, then exited the bathroom to get dressed.


There's no shortage of useful vehicles in the Titan's garage. I stood and stared in wonder at the technological marvel that was the T-Car.

"Hey Vic," I said, "There's six of us, but it only looks like room for five in there. Am I riding in the trunk?"

Cyborg was wearing some dark jeans and a stylish sweater that hid most of his cybernetics.

"Nah," he said, "Robin and Star are going on Robin's bike. It's just gonna be you, me, Raven, and BB in the T-Car."

I glanced over to where Robin was climbing aboard his R-cycle. He was also dressed in clothing that seemed more relaxed. This seemed to be the trend for the entire team as Starfire came over to him wearing some jeans and a nice blouse. She giggled at something Robin said as he handed her a helmet and donned his own.

Beast Boy came over wearing a dark t-shirt and some cargo pants.

"We heading out?" Beast Boy asked.

"Just waiting on Rae," Cyborg said.

The Titan in question wandered into the garage in some jeans and sneakers and wearing a dark colored hoodie with the hood up. Her hands were stuffed in her pockets. It wasn't the most stylish outfit in the world, but to me she looked stunning. Though considering my feelings towards her, she could have wandered in wearing a dress made out of burlap and I'd still think she looked hot.

"I call shotgun!" Beast Boy exclaimed. He quickly jumped into the front passenger side of the T-Car. I almost missed the wink he gave me.

Titan's Tower is situated on an island in Jump City bay. The means of accessing it were via boat, air, or the mile long underground tunnel that led from their garage entrance to an entrance ramp on the main highway going into the city. I actually wasn't aware of this tunnel, since I first came to the island by boat taxi. Then again, I guess it made sense now. How else would they get their vehicles off the island?

Maybe I should buy a car, I pondered. I decided to hit up craigslist and see if I could find something cheap and dependable.

"Dude, I'm the co-pilot," Beast Boy was saying, "That means I have full control of the radio!"

"You touch that tuner one more time, grass-stain," Cyborg replied, "you're gonna ride back in the glove compartment!"

"Come on, Vic! You gotta know the rules!"

"The rules say that I'm the driver, so I am GOD to you puny mortals while you ride within my domain," Cyborg growled back, "And GOD says leave the radio alone!"

I glanced over to Raven. The dark Titan was gazing out the window, seeming to be ignoring the two bickering in the front.

"Hey Raven," I began.

There was no response from my fellow passenger.

"Raven?"

Still no response. I wondered if she was ignoring me when she suddenly turned to look at me. She reached up into her hood and pulled out an earbud.

"Sorry, were you saying something?"

"Oh, I was just... I don't remember what I was going to say," I admitted sheepishly.

She arched an eyebrow at this, then she started to put the earbud back in.

"Um, what are you listening to?" I blurted.

Raven looked at me for a moment. Then she held up the earbud to me. I leaned over trying to ignore how close I was to her face and put the earbud in my own ear. I could hear the melodic sounds of classical piano music playing.

"Oh, that's cool," I said, handing the earbud back, "you like listening to classical?"

"Yup," Raven said, "It helps me clear my mind and stay focused. It's also pleasant to listen to."

She started to put the earbud back in when I interrupted her again.

"So... what piece are you listening to?"

Raven sighed and put the earbud down. She took out her phone and tapped the screen and then pulled out her other earbud.

"It was Moonlight Sonata. Beethoven's piano sonata number 14. Being performed by Rudolf Serkin."

I blinked. "Oh, that's cool," I said again stupidly, "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you."

"You aren't bothering me," Raven responded, "I just like to tune out those two meatheads when I'm in the car."

I mentally cast about for something to talk about, then blurted the first thing that popped into my head.

"So, I used to collect the Teen Titans action figures."

The bickering up front suddenly stopped and Cyborg looked at me from the rearview mirror. Beast Boy turned around in his seat to stare at me, and Raven, well, she was already looking at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Shut. Up." Beast Boy said, "There are action figures of us?"

"Yeah," I said, "I had all five of you. And the rare collectible blue Raven figure."

"Let me get this straight," Raven said, "You used to collect us as action figures, and there was a rare version of me?"

"Yup. The regular version of you had the blue cloak and hood and the black, uh, leotard," I said, fighting a blush, "but the rare version was one that was screwed up in manufacturing, so your leotard was blue as well."

Raven stared into my face for a moment.

"Sorry," she finally said, "but I have no idea what to say in response to being told there are action figures of me, or that you actually owned them."

"Tell me you still have them," Beast Boy said pleadingly.

"I still have them, and the full set of Titans bobble-heads."

"There's a bobble-headed version of me as well?" Raven murmured, "Well that's just ducky."

"Guess you weren't kidding when you said you were a fan, huh?" Cyborg chuckled, "Also, I gotta see my bobble-head."

"Do I need to point out that someone was merchandising the Teen Titans and we weren't aware of it?" Raven countered, "I don't recall getting any sort of licensing fee for my likeness."

"Good point," Cyborg said, "We should check our contracts when we get back."

"You guys signed contracts?" I asked.

"Yeah," Cyborg responded, "Teen Titans run under the umbrella of the JLU. When we officially became a team, we had to sign on with JLU in order to operate under their government charter. I'm guessing they probably own the rights to our images."

"What about the other Titan teams?" Beast Boy asked, "Do you have their action figures?"

I scratched my head sheepishly. "Well, I was already in my third year of college when you guys all brought down the Brotherhood of Evil, so I never got around to buying their action figures. Also, my roommate in college would have thought I was crazy."

"Action figures," Raven muttered, "how could that possibly be crazy?"


We had pizza at a gourmet place called Alice's. Watching the Titans interact with each other over dinner made me realize how deep the bonds ran between these people. Cyborg was right. They really were like family. Cyborg and Beast Boy kept exchanging verbal jabs that left the others laughing, especially Starfire. Her laugh was rich and deep and her dazzling green eyes would reflect her mirth. Robin, who still wore his domino mask, would whisper things into Starfire's ear that would also make her giggle, before he would turn to the rest of the table to address some point or reference some story of their past escapades. Raven sat quietly, mostly listening to the others and sipping some herbal tea. Whenever one of Beast Boy's jokes landed in her direction, she would skillfully cut them down with a dry sarcastic remark that really showed the depth of her wit. But for the most part, she seemed content to be quiet. However, I could see a faint smile on her lips.

"So, I want to propose a toast," Robin suddenly said. He lifted up his soda. "To our new IT guy." He grinned at me. "Welcome to the family, Mark!"

The other Titans also raised their glasses. "Welcome to the family!"

"You guys really know how to make a fellow feel welcome," I said, also raising my glass, "A month ago, I was just some nameless toolbag at Wayne Tech, and today I'm now the systems engineer for the Teen Titans!"

"Still a toolbag though, brah!" Beast Boy laughed.

"What was that, Beast Boy? You don't want your new laptop? You want me to send it back?"

"Ok ok!" Beast Boy said wide eyed, "I take it back, you're not a toolbag!"

"I am very glad you are now a part of our family," Starfire said, "I believe a group selfie is appropriate for this occasion! Everyone, gather together so that I might have all of our faces in the frame!"

We squeezed together as Starfire held up her phone. "Everyone, speak the cheese!"

I looked at the resultant picture. I actually didn't look too bad, in my own opinion. Maybe a little out of place. A pudgy schlub doing a peace sign while surrounded by extraordinary people. I needed a printout of this pic for my desk.

After dinner came the club on the waterfront. It was actually a refurbished warehouse. I'm not big on the club scene, but most of the Teen Titans were big fans of shaking it on the dancefloor. Despite Starfire's attempts to coax me out onto the dancefloor, I politely declined and sat down at one of the tables near the back of the club. With a beer. I didn't get to have beer often, but I was taking advantage of the bar in the club. They had an excellent IPA on draft. Perfectly cold and perfectly delicious.

"I'm not big on dancing either," Raven said dryly as she sat down at the table as well.

"My ex-girlfriend liked going to the more goth clubs," I said musingly, "There were a few near Gotham U. I never really could get into it. The few times I went with her the overall atomosphere was always really dark and dreary."

"I used to date a guy that was a consumate goth a few years ago," Raven responded. Her eyes followed the other Titans as they hammed it up on the dancefloor. "We liked a lot of the same things."

I think the beer was relaxing me a bit, making it feel easier to just talk to Raven without any of the usual anxiety.

"You actually don't seem very goth to me," I said, "what kinds of things did you have in common with that guy?"

"Philosophy, the pointlessness of the mundane things in life, poetry..." Raven looked at me with just the slightest hint of amusement in her amethyst eyes. "You know, goth stuff."

I finished off my beer.

"Well just crank up some Sisters of Mercy and let me get my black eyeshadow," I grinned at her, "and we'll totally cry together about our quiet suffering."

Raven glanced down at the empty beer glass. "How many beers have you had?"

I looked down and realized there were at least three empty 22 ounce glasses in front of me. No wonder I felt buzzed.

"Shit, I didn't realize I had that many," I replied, "I'd better get some water." I smiled back up at her. "No wonder it's been easier to talk to you."

Raven frowned a little at that. "So you're saying you need to be drunk to talk to me?"

"No, no, no," I stated, waving my hand. My arms felt a little weird, an obvious symptom of drinking a little too much. "I mean I normally get all anxious and tongue-tied when I try to speak to you. Oh, it's not because I don't like you, or you're just difficult to talk to, but because I like you a lot and my inhibitions are lowered a bit right now."

"I see." Raven's expression seemed unreadable.

"Yup," I said, "This is why I usually don't drink to excess, because I always get worried that I'm making an asshole out of myself and that I'll be judged for it the next day. That and when I try to walk, it feels like I'm using someone elses legs."

We watched the other Titans dancing for a moment. Beast Boy had morphed into a chimp, then a gorilla, and a llama, then back to a gorilla at which point he started literally swinging from the rafters. I looked at Raven again.

"Raven," I began, "I hope you don't think this is too forward of me, or that this is the beer talking, but I wanted to ask you something."

She focused her eyes on my face again.

"What's that?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"

Raven arched an eyebrow at that. She studied my face for a few moments.

"Well, you certainly aren't the first drunk person to ever ask me out," she said wryly, "but you certainly are the most direct and polite. Sure, let's do dinner."

I felt a grin split my face. "Awesome! How about Friday night?"

"Ok."

WIN. I thought.

I think I grinned the entire ride back to the Tower. Apparently it was just the four of us going back as Robin and Star had plans to do something else. We were halfway back when I felt my stomach move in uncomfortable ways.

"Say, Cyborg," I said nonchalantly, "Could you pull over?"

"Why, what's up?" The cybernetic Teen Titan asked me. He looked up at me in the rearview mirror, "Oh shit."

Cyborg pulled over and I calmly got out. Then I bent over and with my hands on my knees I proceeded to empty my stomach into the gutter.

"Ewww, gross dude!" Beast Boy cried.

Cyborg looked at me again as I climbed back into the T-Car.

"Drinking a bit tonight?" he said with a hint of amusement.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," I slurred back at him. Raven rolled her eyes. She reached over and placed a cool hand on my forehead. Boy, it felt nice considering the headache that was brewing.

"Lie down."

I decided against arguing and laid my head on her lap. Raven glared up at Beast Boy and Cyborg who both had stunned expressions on their faces. Beast Boy's mouth actually hung open.

"Tell no one about this," Raven ordered.

She placed her cool hand back on my forehead and I noticed a muted white light. Then my headache suddenly vanished and my head cleared.

"You can sit up now."

I carefully sat up and blinked. All traces of a hangover were gone. Raven arched her eyebrow at me.

"Next time I'm going to let you suffer," she said simply.


Raven assumed the lotus position in her meditation circle. She cleared her mind and controlled her breathing. Found her center.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos," she chanted quietly.

As she entered her meditative state, she began to analyze her recent memories and experiences to better sort and organize them into her mind.

That Mark was attracted to Raven wasn't new information. She had already surmised that from his emotional state. What she wanted to do was to analyze her own feelins on the matter. To get a deeper understanding. She decided to break it down to a mental list of likes and dislikes.

He wasn't the skinniest guy in the world, but it gave the appearance of an almost cuddly teddy bear. DISLIKE.
He had a really kind face and a compassionate demeanor. LIKE.
He actually had a good sense of humor. LIKE.
He didn't seem the type to hide things. The man pretty much wore his heart on his sleeve. UNSURE.
He was fundamentally different from any other man Raven had ever known. Not a superhero, not a martial arts expert, just a regular person. INTRIGUED.
He had a beard. Actually, she kind of liked his beard. LIKE.
He had to have Cyborg pull over so he could puke from drinking. EXTREME DISLIKE, but he didn't barf in the car, so that's one in the plus column.
He collected action figures. DISLIKE.

Raven pondered her mental list for a moment. She really didn't know a lot about Mark, aside from the conversation they had at the club. She decided he warranted more study before drawing a final conclusion.


It was Monday. T-minus 5 days before my date with Raven. I realized that buying a car was now a high priority item for me, since driving was a fairly important element of most dates and I didn't want to depend on Uber or Lyft, though I had those apps on my phone.

I opened a browser on one of my screens and plugged in craigslist while I popped open my banking app to see what money I had to work with. I froze when I saw my account.

I blinked. Holy shit.

I quickly opened another browser window and logged into Wayne Techs employee services page and pulled up my employee info. Then I sat in a stunned silence while I stared at my salary. I had definitely gotten a bump. A holy fuck-all the-universe-loves-me salary bump. I was now making seven and a half times more than I had as a regular fulltime employee back in Gotham. I wondered if I had somehow earned some outrageously good karma in a previous life. Everything about my life was just awesome. I had a great job that paid me obscenely well, I worked with people whom I had idolized, and I have a date with a woman whom I had been attracted to for a long time.

I nervously looked around. Was there a shoe somewhere just waiting to drop?

I shook myself and went back to craigslist.

By Wednesday, I had purchased a semi-decent used 2010 Ford Fiesta from a seller in Jump City. Prior to purchase, the seller had agreed to go with me to a local mechanic to have the car inspected for preexisting issues. When the mechanic gave the thumbs up, I paid the seller three grand and got the car registered. Then I got the insurance worked out and discovered that that was where the real pain was.

Living in a city like Jump meant that insurance rates were considerably higher. This was always the case for any location that had superheroes operating there. Supervillians were prone to causing lots of collateral damage to cars and buildings, so naturally car insurance and home insurance were stupid high. My annual premium for the car was almost equal to what I had paid for it, and that was just for liability, damage, and theft. Even then my deductible was almost a grand. At any rate, once all the paperwork had been signed, the registration fees and taxes paid to the city, I drove my shiny used Fiesta through the bay tunnel and parked my wheels in the Titan's garage.

Cyborg looked at my car. I could see him stifling a chuckle.

"So these the new wheels, huh?" he asked.

"Yup," I responded, "I got a pretty good deal with a private seller."

"Mhmm," Cyborg said. He pulled out a metal wand and plugged it into his arm. Then he tapped the display in his arm a couple of times and proceeded to run the wand over and around my car.

I blinked.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, don't mind me," Cyborg responded, "I'm just scanning for bugs or tracking devices."

The Titan alert suddenly blasted through the Tower. A few moments later, the rest of the Teen Titans rushed into the garage.

Robin strode over to his R-cycle. "Plasmus is on the move again. Somehow he got out of containment." He jumped on his bike and put his helmet on. Then he glanced over at my car.

"That the new wheels?" Robin asked. I nodded. "Looks gas efficient and smart." He started up the bike.

"Hey Robin," I called out to him, "Give me a call if you guys want me to order some dinner or something."

Robin nodded. "Will do. TITANS GO!"

The R-cycle revved as Robin hit the accelerator and sped out of the garage and into the open tunnel. Cyborg jumped into the T-Car immediately followed suit.

"I do not look forward to this at all," Starfire said with a frown as she launched out of the open garage into the sky.

"This is gonna be so gross again, isn't it?" Beast Boy griped. He morphed into a hawk and followed Starfire.

Raven was quiet. She noticed me and gave me a nod before she flew out of the garage herself.

Three hours later, I was once again on my laptop in the main rec room when the elevator opened disgorging the five Teen Titans. This time they didn't look so beaten down and their eyes were immediately drawn to the pile of pizzas sitting hot and ready on the dining table. They were, however, very much covered with a purplish slime that stunk horrifically. I started to open my mouth when Beast Boy beat me to the punch.

"Don't say it," he grumbled, "we look like we we were at a demonic bukakke party. No offense Rae."

"None taken," Raven muttered, "We stink like it too."

"I was just going to ask you dears how work was today," I said, fighting down a grin.

"Well, we won," Robin said, "with minimal collateral damage. The city is always happy with that." He looked over at Cyborg. "But an attack from Plasmus just a few days after Cinderblock?"

"Something definitely stinks," Cyborg replied with a grimace as some of the purple goo dripped off his arm and onto the floor, "and not just us."

"This is going to be unpleasant to remove from my hair," Starfire said as she tried combing the stuff out with her fingers. She looked at Beast Boy. "Also, what is the 'bukakke?'"

"It's a type of pornography," Raven said. She lowered her hood. "Don't bother trying to find out more. You'll just be even more grossed out than you are now."

Raven's cloak had taken most of the purple goo, but it looked like she took a big hit. She unclasped her brooch and dropped the slime covered cloak on the floor. I was immediately struck with wonder at her bare legs. They were pale grey like the rest of her skin and they were long. Her body was like a tight hour-glass with lean muscle on all her limbs.

Oh wow... I thought. Then I looked up at her face and found her watching me. I felt my face turn beet red and I looked away.

"W-well," I cleared my throat, hoping none of the other Titans had noticed me gawking at Raven, "The pizzas are fresh and still hot if you guys want to clean up." I glanced at the puddle of purple slime on the floor. "Is that shit easy to clean up?"

"We got a steam cleaner and carpet shampoo," Cyborg said as he wiped off his feet and legs with a towel, "You wouldn't believe some of the shit we've had to clean out of this rug."

"But we have become quite good at the cleaning with steam," Starfire said with a smile. She floated to the kitchen where she retrieved a few more towels.

"Oh man," Beast Boy practically whined as he stared at the boxed pizzas, "I'm so hungry..."

"Showers first," Robin said. He wiped more of the excess goo off his face and body with a towel, "We all stink."

"Some worse than usual," Raven smirked, looking at Beast Boy, "I'll be back for pizza." With that Raven opened a dark portal and disappeared, leaving her slime filled cloak on the floor. Robin's cape soon joined it.

Twenty minutes later, the Teen Titans reassembled in the rec room. I was standing near the slime puddle, staring at it apprehensively.

"I feel like we should be throwing down lime or something," I muttered to Cyborg.

"Yeah, Plasmus is some nasty stanky shit," Cyborg responded. He threw down a big cloth tarp over the mess. "Let's just eat. We're gonna clean this up later."