I'm baaaaaaack!

So far the response as been very positive towards this story, and I'm really glad none of you were TOO freaked out about Arnold's behavior.

And thank you for the well wishes. I'm doing MUCH better now, and I'm totally ready to immerse myself back into fanfiction. So be prepared! haha

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!


"Underneath it all you'll always have this war inside yourself…"

Yellowcard - "For You, and Your Denial"


**Three weeks later**

It had grown so quiet here, he noted. Most people found some sort of peace in silence. But it was always times like this that Arnold found himself growing more restless than usual. The sound of a wall clock ticking seemed to be the only noise filling his nearly empty bedroom. Arnold sat perched on the edge of his bed with his chin resting on his fist, staring across the room at the only physical piece of proof that Arnold even lived here; an overturned picture frame. Occasionally he would try to set it up when he was having one of his good days, but most of the time he found himself forcefully taking it and slamming it face down on his desk, too attached to it to put it away, but yet too afraid to keep it in plain sight to remind him of all the things he couldn't bear to think about.

Despite the dark cloud that seems to loom over him, Arnold had felt a slight lift in his mood lately. He even found himself humming a happy tune the other day during his newfound weekly trip to Berman's Bar and Grill. He knew that Helga deeply despised him for inexplicable reasons, but there was something about that fiery bartender that Arnold couldn't seem to stay away from. She intrigued him, but more importantly she made him feel again… the silence he feared ceased to exist when she was near him.

Suddenly feeling bold, Arnold stood up from his bed to stand in front of the spot where the picture frame remained face down against the wooden surface. It had been several weeks since the last time he tried to look at the picture inside the frame. With a shaky hand he reached out towards the object as if he was reaching for a feral animal. His fingertips had barely touched the cool metal frame before he retracted his hand with haste. His brow furrowed angrily as he tightly closed his eyes, "Stop it." he growled, slowly opening his eyes and setting his sights back on the picture frame. Why was he making this so hard for himself? It was just a picture! His hand shot out once again and grabbed the frame, sitting it upright before releasing it from his grasp as quickly as possible before he changed his mind. In the blink of an eye he saw two familiar faces smiling at him for the first time in far too long. His heart was simultaneously melting and breaking at the sight. He gently ran his finger over their faces, trying desperately to feel some of their warmth he kept safe in his memories.

An all too familiar twinge of sadness and pain ripped through him before he could reach that happy place he desperately needed to be. He had to place his hands against the desk to steady himself and take several deep breaths. "Don't do this. Not now!" he hissed at himself, inhaling sharply and holding his breath until his heartbeat slowed to a normal pace and his panic attack began subsiding. He hated feeling this way every time he saw their faces… He knew deep down that they would be disappointed in him and everything he's managed to put himself through because he couldn't overcome his own inner demons. He had literally lost himself…

The door to his bedroom opened without warning, startling Arnold and causing him to stumble away from the desk. "There you are man! I've been checking every room in this place!" Gerald, his best friend since childhood leaned casually against the door frame, studying Arnold with an apprehensive look. "You're seriously staying in here? What about your old room?" When Arnold didn't say anything for a few moments his gaze eventually traveled to the picture frame sitting on the desk.

Arnold broke the silence with forced enthusiasm, rubbing his hands together and grabbing his jacket from the back of a chair, "Ready to go?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, aware of what Arnold was doing; Avoiding. Just like always. "… Yeah."

With Gerald leading the way they left Arnold's makeshift room and headed down the hallway towards the stairs. Arnold followed behind him but stopped just short of the stairs, scrambling back to his room for one last order of business. "I'm sorry." he whispered, taking the picture frame and setting it back to its original face down position before running after his best friend.


"You're serious?" Gerald wildly waved his hands at the building the were standing in front of. "Berman's? You think Berman's should cater my wedding?" This had to have been some kind of sick joke Arnold was playing on him. Gerald's fiancé entrusted him to find the right place to cater their wedding, and after a string of disappointing interviews and taste tests Gerald found himself without a caterer.

"I really am serious Gerald! I've talked with one of the owners recently about your predicament and she says her fiancé knows upscale food. Their catering menu is flexible! Can't you just… hear them out?" he smiled hopefully at him. "They're also willing to do the open bar for the night. How much more could you ask for?"

It was obvious that Arnold was hell-bent on Gerald giving this place a real shot. He hadn't seen him this passionate about anything in a long, longtime. "Alright, man… I'll trust you on this one. But I'm not committing to anything until I talk it over with Phoebe!"

Arnold's grin grew even wider, "Awesome! Come on, they're waiting to talk with you. They have menus for you to check out and stuff for you to taste." he grabbed Gerald's arm and dragged him through the entrance.

Helga was on her lunch break, sitting in one of the empty booths in the back of the bar and reading a novel while idly nibbling on a basket of fries. She could vaguely hear Patty chit chatting with a customer at the bar, but other than that it was pretty peaceful. Business as usual was slow for a Tuesday evening and Helga already couldn't wait to get home. She was constantly irritated at work lately because of that weird man who kept randomly showing up every week trying to talk to her. She tried telling Patty to ban him from the establishment but she refused, stating that he wasn't actually doing anything wrong and that Helga was just being a "crabby pants" to the poor guy. She would aptly reply with "poor guy? MY ASS!", and they would both comment no further on it. She figured Patty found great joy in watching her become so flustered by his persistence to be near her. Helga knew better than to go mooning over a pretty face paying attention to her. He wasn't exactly implying that he liked her that way during their brief exchanges. She didn't understand what exactly he was seeking from her, and that's what confused her the most.

"Hey Patty!" Helga nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sound of Arnold's voice, harshly bonking one of her knees on the underside of the table.

She threw her book down on the table and hobbled across the room. "HELL no! Get out of here!" her index finger pointed towards the door he just entered from. She briefly noticed that he wasn't alone today but she chose to ignore it. "It's bad enough that you come once a week, but I refuse to make this a biweekly ritual of suffering! And I-"

"HELGA!" she turned her attention over to Patty who looked absolutely livid. "Mr. Johanssen is here to inquire about our catering service for his upcoming wedding." Helga's eyes instantly widened, finally taking note of the person standing behind Arnold. He was a tall, handsome dark skinned man who couldn't be any older than Arnold. At the moment he was staring at Helga as if she had four heads.

Arnold saw her demeanor change in the blink of an eye, "Pardon me… I'm sorry about that." she took a few steps away from the three of them.

"Oh no you don't!" Patty's finger gestured for her to come back. "Arnold needs to talk with you."

"What?" Helga's signature snarl returned.

Before Helga could continue her rant, Patty cut her off with a simple glare. "Mr. Johanssen, if you'd like to join me in the dining room." she gestured to the swinging doors that lead to the restaurant.

Gerald seemed hesitant to leave Arnold with this crazy woman, but Arnold gave him a reassuring nudge and smile. "It's cool."

Arnold and Helga watched Patty and Gerald leave the room. The moment the swinging door was closed, Helga began another tirade. "What the hell is going on? Is it your new life mission to annoy the living hell out of me? Do I need a restraining order or WHAT?"

"I'm not trying to blatantly annoy you Helga. I'm trying to be friendly… but I don't really think you're willing to see that just yet-"

"FRIENDLY?" she seethed. "You come here every week and try and make stupid banter with me, and for what? You know I don't want you bothering me! Why do you keep coming back? And why the HELL did you bring one of your buddies here for catering? Are you trying to drive me up the fucking wall?" her fists landed angrily on her hips. Instead of seeming afraid of Helga he smiled at her. She didn't know what to make of this character. Was he really this insane? Or was this an act?

"You're different, Helga… I like that. I find you interesting to talk to, even if you're raving mad at me while you're doing it. And despite what you say, I seriously think you find some sort of entertainment with me around-"

"You shut your mouth right there football head!" Arnold's eyes widened at her new nickname for him. 'Football head'? That was certainly a first in his lifetime. "What makes you think I enjoy this ridiculousness?"

"Because it's fun." he grinned, taking a step closer to her. She almost instantly took another step back. "Keep in mind that you started all of this first Helga…" his eyelids fell into a half lidded gaze, daring her to tell him he was wrong about the night she shoved her way into his personal business for her own amusement. For the first time since they met, she didn't lambaste him. Her brow was furrowed in frustration but she didn't say a word… He had caught her in her own game. She hated when someone outsmarted her. Feeling loads more confident he sat down on one of the bar stools and motioned for her to follow. It took her nearly a full minute of contemplation before she complied, sitting one chair over from him. She hadn't yet figured out why she was even humoring him at this point. "Anyway, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because I was hoping to hire you to be the bartender at Gerald and Phoebe's party in a few weeks. It's going to be a big shindig with all of their friends. Instead of doing a traditional bachelor and bachelorette party they agreed to do one big party instead."

Helga's first instinct was to scream 'HELL NO!' and stomp away, but the more logical part of her brain reminded her that she desperately needed the cash to pay her rent. There was no way she could turn this down. "How much money are we talking?"

He set his elbow against the counter and casually leaned closer to her, "$200"

"No dice. $300."

Just as Arnold had anticipated, she was being difficult. "$250"

She shook her head, "$300"

Both of them were surprised when he rose from his chair and gave Helga a hard stare, "$250 or I'm walking."

If there was one thing Helga knew how to do better than most people, it was how to deal with men like him. Of course, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to get your way with minimal effort. Helga got up from her chair and walked over towards him, setting her hands on his shoulders and cocking her head to the side. "$250 hardly seems fair now, does it?" The moment Helga got up from her chair and willingly came towards him Arnold had already caught on. He watched her apprehensively as she smiled and batted her eyelashes at him. Did she really think he was that stupid?

One of her hands began reaching up towards his face, and in a moment of panic his hand shot up and grasped her by the wrist before she could make contact. She let out a girlish yelp, not because his grip had harmed her but simply because it shocked her that someone had the audacity to actually touch her. "Despite what you may think about me, Helga…" he tossed her hand back at her side, "I'm not like everyone else you've been able to manipulate with your methods of flirtation in the past. I'm not stupid and I'm not blind. My offer is $250 and I'm not budging." he narrowed his eyes and stepped close enough for Helga to get good look at the details of his face. She could also smell the distinct scent of his aftershave. "I could have suggested anywhere in town for Gerald to look for a caterer… I chose here… I'm trying to help you guys get more exposure and also keep you afloat because I like coming here, and you guys seem like awesome people who deserve a real shot. Also, I asked Patty specifically if she'd loan you out at her discretion for a night to bartend at the party… I want you to do it, Helga-"

"But-!"

"Shh." he placed his finger directly above her lips without touching them. "I heard you and Patty discussing the trouble you've been having paying your rent the last time I was here-" before she could scold him for eavesdropping he finally placed his finger on her lips so she wouldn't speak, she immediately removed it from her mouth with a spat of disgust. "Look… you're surprisingly good with customers despite your… normal disposition otherwise. Gerald has dozens of male friends who would be completely enamored with you if you were their bartender for an evening. You don't need three hundred dollars from me. The tips would stack up way beyond anything I could ever give you and it would surpass anything you'd make here in one night… Are you following me?"

Helga tilted her head slightly to the right and gave him and indiscernible look, "I think you're forgetting one little detail football head." she grabbed his collar and gave him a rough and deliberate shake "I DON'T need you, and I don't need your charity!"

It took him a moment to recover from her violent outburst. He calmly removed her hands from his shirt, still refusing to back down despite her wrath. "I'm not offering you charity. I'm offering you a chance for you to help yourself. Instead of ripping my head off why don't you take a second to consider what this could do for you? I'm not going to fall to my knees and beg you to do this..." Helga blinked and stared at him blankly as he began moving towards the swinging doors that lead to the restaurant. "You're the author of your own fate. All you have to do is decide which direction you're going and put the pen to paper." She didn't get a chance to reply before he slipped through the door. She also couldn't see the grin plastered on his face. Arnold found these mental games with Helga rather thrilling, and this was one of the first times he truly felt like he had the upper hand on her. All he could do was hope his method worked. Gerald and Phoebe's party would be torture without her double personality there to entertain him.

He found Gerald and Patty sitting at a private booth with several plates of food scattered on the table. "Hey, man!" Gerald grinned. Arnold could only hope his enthusiasm was a good sign. "You were not kidding about this place. I really think we found a winner. Have you ever had their steak? Hot damn!"

Patty chuckled at that, "Harold will be more than appreciative of your enthusiasm. He takes pride in his cuts of meat."

Arnold suddenly felt extremely hopeful, "So does this mean what I think it means?"

Patty and Gerald exchanged glances before he nodded enthusiastically, "I'm bringing Phoebe in two weeks to check it out herself so we can start planning the menu."

"That's fantastic Gerald! I'm glad things worked out." he clapped his best friend on the back and smiled.

Patty offered her deepest thanks to Gerald for his patronage and gave him a firm handshake. The two of them began making plans for their next encounter, Patty writing all the details in her planner as she walked them to their car parked out front. As they were saying their goodbyes Patty placed her hand on Arnold's shoulder, "By the way, how did things go with Helga?"

"Well-" he began.

"Arnold!" everyone turned towards the front of the restaurant just in time to see Helga barreling through the door. With all eyes glued to her she suddenly felt sheepish for making such a prominent entrance. She cleared her throat and casually straightened out her already pristine clothing, "I need to talk to you."

Patty had a pretty good feeling she knew what was going on. She also cleared her throat, slowly backing herself towards the door. "I should probably be getting back inside. I'll be in touch with you Mr. Johanssen."

Arnold saw that Gerald was staring at Helga like she was part of a creepy circus sideshow. Arnold already had a hard time convincing him that Helga was the right person for the party, and her erratic behavior had only made him second guess Arnold's choice that much more. Arnold nudged his shoulder and gave him a pointed look. "Right… I'll just… wait for you in the car, man."

The two of them watched Gerald until he closed the car door behind himself before Arnold focused back on Helga. He leaned casually against the car and raised his eyebrows, "So what can I help you with?"

"Oh cut the crap Arnoldo. You know what's up!" she poked him harshly in his chest, "I agree to $250. I'll do it." Helga glared at him darkly when he began grinning like an idiot. For the second time that day she roughly grabbed his collar and slightly startled him, "Don't think that I don't know what you did Arnold- You manipulative little punk! The only reason I'm not killing you where you stand is because I did the same thing to you first." her grip tightened as she pulled him closer, "Don't be under the impression that you'll ever be able to manipulate me again. I will not hesitate to strike you down. Are we clear, football head?"

It drove Helga crazy how calm he seemed after such a threat. He merely nodded his head and bit his bottom lip, "Whatever you say, Helga."

Gerald could see the two of them from his side mirror but wasn't completely able to hear everything they were saying. He didn't really understand what Arnold saw in this woman that made him so convinced she was worth his time and energy. From the looks of it she downright hated him! He audibly gasped when he saw her grab Arnold by the collar to undoubtedly give him a piece of her mind. It felt like hours he watched her menacingly glaring at his best friend, even he felt tense just watching! They exchanged more words before she finally let him go with an exasperated huff. What happened next shocked Gerald more than anything; she dug around in her apron to produce a pad of paper and scribbled something down on it before handing it to Arnold. He also clearly heard her distinctly say; "Call me."

"I'll be damned." he shook his head in disbelief. She also muttered something unintelligible to him, to which Arnold responded with a gentle touch to her shoulder. This made Gerald raise his brow is surprise. Since when did Arnold start being touchy feely with people again? His eyes squinted briefly at the mirror he was watching them from, the irony of the text on the mirror was not lost on him:

"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear"


After their encounter with Helga earlier that afternoon Arnold seemed to be in an extremely good mood despite being manhandled by a 5 foot 6 blonde woman. Gerald had agreed to stick around and help Arnold with some renovations to the boarding house, and Gerald couldn't help but notice his best friends sudden chipper behavior. He didn't know how to react to Arnold humming 'you are my sunshine' with a smirk on his lips while he painted the hallway a cheery pastel yellow color.

Maybe it was best to ask Arnold about this whole Helga thing, he just had to do it the right way. "So…" he dipped his paint roller once again and moved to a spot closer to Arnold. "Did you get that crazy chick to agree to bartend at the party?"

He seemed to slow his movements slightly, "You mean Helga?" He corrected him. "Yeah… I did."

"Wow, from the way you talked about her I didn't think she'd agree to do it for only a hundred bucks."

Arnold stopped painting completely and winced, "Well…"

"Arnold, you didn't!" When his best friend remained silent he let out a hiss of discontent, "Oh geez. How much did you offer that crabby loon?"

"Somewhere in the ballpark of $250-"

"WHAT? Have you lost your damn mind, man? That girl despises you! Why would you ever even think to pay her to stick around and give you hell?"

"She's not so bad Gerald… The more time I spend around her the more I'm convinced that there's more to her than her blustery exterior shows-" his brow furrowed when he looked over at Gerald, who was currently giving him a weird look due to his choice of words. "What?"

"I thought I was just being paranoid before… but man, how did I not notice?"

"Notice what exactly?" Arnold felt himself growing irritated. He focused back on the half painted wall and began applying more. His brush strokes came out a little harder this time around, he only hoped Gerald wouldn't notice his sudden roughness.

"I know you've been spending pretty much all of your free time inside that bar… I thought maybe you were becoming an alcoholic or something, but that's not it at all… is it?" Arnold was purposefully focused on painting and full on ignoring Gerald's questioning stare. He knew he was essentially ignoring him. Gerald decided to press on anyway, "… You like her."

There was a sharp intake of breath followed by the sound of a paint roller hitting the sheet that was laid out at their feet. "Excuse me?" he blanched.

"To put it in layman's terms-" his hands came up to make air quotes "You 'like her-like her'..."

"And who are you to judge something like that from 5 minutes of observation?" The venom in Arnold's voice made Gerald take a step back in surprise. After all this time it was still hard for him to accept that his best friend wasn't the placid and peaceful person he once was. "You don't know anything about what I do or don't feel, so I suggest you stop insinuating things that you're obviously clueless about." It became very apparent that Arnold was no longer just talking about his unanswered intentions with Helga. They stood there silently for another moment before Arnold leaned down to pick his paint roller back up, "I can finish this by myself, okay? You can go now."

Gerald slapped the paint roller from Arnold's hand and glared at him, "You're not doing this. Not to me! You don't get to have a fit of rage and blame it all on me because you're too damn wrapped up in your own inner demons. I want to be there for you Arnold! I want my best friend back! The one I could tell anything to… and the one who told me everything-"

"I have nothing to say." he muttered darkly. "Do you think I came back to Hillwood to share my feelings with you? To sit around and 'hug it out'? I came back home to kill two birds with one stone; fulfill my obligations as your best man, and to finally sell the boarding house. I'm not staying, Gerald… I can't."

"Can't, or won't?"

The tension in the room was becoming unbearable. Neither one of them moved a muscle, and for a moment Gerald was afraid that Arnold would start throwing punches. "Just… go." the intensity of his glare softened, "I need some time-"

"To pack up and run away again?"

Arnold reached out and harshly slapped his shoulder, "STOP IT! I made a promise to you a long time ago that I would be your best man. I fully intend to keep that promise… But for the love of god; PLEASE stop trying to make me 'open up' to you."

"Arnold-"

"You'll always be my best friend… But I can't talk to you the way we used to. It only frustrates me!… All I see when you look at me is pity. Everyone looks at me that way…"

Everything suddenly became extremely clear to Gerald. It all clicked into place, "Everyone except her." the moment the words left Gerald's mouth he saw Arnold shift uncomfortably… he was right.

"She's… the first person to make me forget. And when I'm around her I don't feel so alone anymore… I can't really explain it beyond that." his brow furrowed once again, "It's not a romantic relationship I want from her… Not like you suggested. I just want a friend."

This evening hadn't gone quite how Gerald had planned it. He was feeling emotionally drained and frustrated with the situation. There was so much he wanted to say to Arnold, but he knew he couldn't go there… not yet. Until Arnold was ready to deal with what happened, there was no way for them to communicate properly. His best friend was locked away somewhere inside of Arnold's mind and being held prisoner by his past. Gerald didn't agree with Arnold's theory about Helga "making him forget"… he clearly hadn't forgotten anything. He was merely avoiding the inevitable.

"I'm sorry for suggesting it, okay? And I'm truly sorry for putting you in a position like this; seeking solace from someone you hardly know. I want you to understand that I've never pitied you… I just wanted to be there for you. But it's obvious that you don't want me to press the subject any further… if she's the one that you choose to lean on, then that's okay with me. I'll be here for you no matter what." Gerald stepped over the paint tray to offer Arnold his fist for their handshake, "Are we cool?"

It was several tense seconds before Arnold nodded slightly and moved away from him to open the front door, "Yeah… we're cool."


And there's chapter two for you guys!

So things are kind of... tense between Gerald and Arnold at the moment. When I wrote that scene between them I was like "mother of God! What have I done?". But things won't ALWAYS be that way between them. And as for Arnold and Helga... yeahhh... lets face it; they're totally on the road to a tentative friendship. (or ARE they?) bahaha. Yes, this is a romance story, but that doesn't mean they instantly fall in love with one another! Especially when they don't truly know one another yet.

In the next chapter you'll finally see Phoebe and a few other Hey Arnold characters make a brief appearance. Also expect some more angsty Arnold (his behavior WILL be fully explained eventually!) And there's also a pretty sweet Arnold/Helga moment to look forward to ;)