Chapter 2: The Journey to the Rogue Encampment
"Are we there yet?" Saenesttra asked irritably.
"No sister, we are not," growled the Dreamweaver, the normally impassive Lord of Change betraying the slightest hint of annoyance.
"Are we there yet?"
"No, we aren't" this time the rasping voice of Bokukaz answered, dripping with exasperation.
"How about now?"
"No Saenesttra, we aren't," Varus sighed in frustration.
"And now?"
"BY KHORNE'S BRASS UNDERPANTS WOMAN! STOP YOUR WHINING THIS INSTANT BEFORE I GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SPIT IN THEIR SOCKETS!!!"
"Spit in their sockets you say? Oh my! How erotic! You must do this to me sometime Gargorath!" the Slaaneshi greater daemon cooed in excitement.
"A THOUSAND CURSES ON YOU FOUL TEMPTRESS!!! I'LL SNAP YOUR LIMBS APART AND IMPALE YOU ON YOUR OWN BROKEN BONES!!!"
"I did not realize you were so into such exhilarating fetishes Bloodthirster! I have misjudged you!"
"DAMN YOU!!! I'LL HAVE A THOUSAND OF MY SERVANTS TEAR YOU APART PIECE BY BLOODY PIECE!!!"
"Only a thousand? Please, oh please! Let's double that number! Triple it!"
"Haven't you learned anything Gargorath? You'll only continue to excite her with your ravings," the Chaos Champion admonished, "To get her to shut up, you need to be more creative. For example. Saenesttra?"
"Yes O'Handsome One?"
"If you continue to complain, I'll have to take you out on a picnic by the seashore."
"B-B-But that's so boring! Can we add some prancing daemonettes? Or maybe some asphyxiation during the intercourse?"
"No. After our picnic we'll have an enlightening discussion on the concept of feminism."
"No! Anything but that! I give in my lord!" the Keeper of Secrets was close to sobbing.
Raucous laughter emitted from the twitching maws spasming on the daemon sword.
"Such wit! Such cunning! You are indeed a worthy acolyte to Tzeentch, my young apprentice!" Dreamweaver crowed triumphantly.
"Bah. Father Nurgle is clearly the most jovial of all gods. Our boy here is growing up well under his paternal tutelage," croaked the Great Unclean One.
"BOTH OF YOU ARE WRONG! KHORNE IS WELL KNOWN FOR HIS HUMOR!!!"
"I find that somewhat hard to believe brother Gargorath."
"IT IS TRUE! I HAVE MANY JOKES IN MY ARSENAL THAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO ME BY THE BLOOD GOD HIMSELF!!!"
"Is that so? Pray tell us then O'King of Jesters."
"VERY WELL!!! PREPARE TO LAUGH UNTIL GEYSERS OF BLOOD SPEW FROM YOUR ORFICACES!!! WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?!?"
"I think we all know the answer to this one you brainless slab of muscle, but we'll humor you nonetheless. Tell us. Why?" Bokukaz grunted.
"TO KILL THE FARMER WHO STOLE ITS EGGS!!! AND THEN TO EVISERATE THE FARMER'S WIFE!!! AND THEN TO DECAPITATE THE FARMER'S SONS!!! AND THEN TO HACK APART THE FARMER'S DOG!!! AND THEN TO DRINK ALL THEIR BLOOD IN A GOBLET MADE FROM BONES!!! AND THEN TO SLAUGHTER THE ENTIRE VILLAGE AND PILE A MOUNTAIN OF SKULLS FOR KHORNE!!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOOOODDDD GOOOODDDDD!!!"
Varsus's gauntleted hand met with his horned helm in an unmistakable face palm.
"I… am… speechless, Bloodthirster. You have turned an age old classic into a primitive battle cry. I know not whether I should congratulate you for being the embodiment of change or slap you for your stupidity," the greater daemon of Tzeentch spoke despairingly.
"If you ask me, he's just stupid," added Saenesttra, no longer willing to keep quiet after hearing the Khornate daemon's tirade.
"WAS THAT NOT FUNNY?!? I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS!!!"
"About as hilarious as watching one of my boils putrefy."
"THEN LET ME TRY AGAIN!!! KNOCK KNOCK!!!"
Like an unending wave of pure evil, the tide of screeching Fallen surged towards the beleaguered defenders of the Rogue Encampment. Volleys of fetched arrows hissed from the archers manning the battlements, piercing demon hide and flesh. Entire ranks of imps toppled over, falling head over heels as the wooden shafts found purchase in their diminutive bodies. They were swiftly trampled by their twisted brethren as the horde continued the mad rush forward.
It was like dropping pebbles into a lake, thought Deiana. No matter how hard one tried, there was simply no way to effect the water besides a few ripples. The amazon drew another arrow to her short bow and let loose. The bodkin-tipped shaft flew unerringly towards its target, and speared a Fallen One through the throat. The imp gave a sputtering cry as it died. The blonde warrior woman latched another projectile to her bowstring. She pulled back with a grunt and loosed once more. Another of the red demons pitched forward, quivering shaft lodged in its skull.
For all the good that did her. Deiana snarled in anger as the two imps she just killed picked themselves back up and rejoined the gibbering mass. Fallen Shamans. The amazon could see their stooped forms gesturing and chanting wildly at the back of the braying flock, just out of range of her and the rogue's bows. They were resurrecting any of the imps that had been slain in battle, making the horde as endless as it was relentless. At this rate rogues would run out of arrows before even putting a dent in their numbers.
Their chances for survival just plummeted.
A black clad figure suddenly approached on the horizon. Deiana ignored it. One man or woman certainly wasn't going to save them.
