I am back! Yay! You know why I picked 314 as Link's address? 'Cause 3.14159! PI!!! Actually, I like the food pie better… :/ So, meh little story is about to begin here, do not worry! Although this chapter won't have as much DLxL as I would like, it does begin to hint at it. ^.^ Anyways, I had this chapter and the next one written out, but then my sister ripped it in half! So I had to write it ALL over. But I think it turned out better than before. And this chapter has lots of Dark's swearing and idoicy :P So, with that said, enjoy~!
Chapter 1: Skippity Skip!
x.x.x.x
Link lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He was lucky Sheik didn't kill him from before… Hell, he was lucky Sheik didn't even bother attacking him. Link smiled softly. The new roomie seemed nice. In her odd, dark way. She wasn't goth, she just seemed… indifferent and shady. Yeah, that was it. And her name: wasn't it like Mindy, no. Mida? Minda? Minda… close… Yes, Midna!
"Shut up, Dark!" Sheik growled from his bed. He twisted and faced the shadow who was letting out overly loud snores from his own bed.
Dark let out another snore and laughed. "If you don't like it, go fuck Tetra."
"Excuse me!" Sheik asked angrily.
Instead of replying, Dark gave a fake snore. "Fucky, fucky, Sheiky, fucky, Tetra… y? Ah come on, why does Tetra's name have to end with a consonant."
"Dark, you mean vowel," Link said.
"You know what I noticed Link? You call Tetra Tet, and Tet sounds like tit."
"Will you shut up!?" Sheik said in annoyance.
"Dark, if Sheik does fuck Tetra then whose room are they going in?"
"Not ours! Where will we sleep?"
"Well, if they go in the girl's room then-"
"We can have an orgy!"
"What the heck, Dark!?"
"SHUT UP!" yelled Sheik. "I WILL PERSONALLY-"
"What in the name of the Goddesses is going on?" asked Zelda, swinging open the door to the boys' room.
"Well, you see Princess," Dark began. "Sheik is going to-" He let out a yelp of surprise when the warrior sprang at him, knocking the shadow off his bed. "Help me! He's raping me! Again!"
"WHAT IS GOING ON!?" Tetra asked angrily as she stormed in the room only to see Dark and Sheik wrestling on the ground. "STOP IT!"
Dark and Sheik continued wrestling and Link just sank down into his bed. He peered through his covers when Midna walked in, a dark look upon her face. She walked over to where Dark and Sheik rolled around on the ground and pointed down at them. A small purple flame grew at her fingers and shot out, hitting its mark dead-on. Dark let out a small cry of pain and Sheik let out a hiss.
"Honestly, if you are going to make love on the floor, do it quieter." Midna turned and walked out of the room, leaving silence in her wake.
Tetra and Zelda nodded before slamming the door behind them.
Dark climbed back into his bed and pulled his cover over his face. "Damn, she hurts…"
"Good. Night," Sheik said, still engulfed in anger. His words, then, were the final words of that night.
x.x.x.x
"Welcome to Hyrule Academy where we put our student's education first," said a woman with the appearance of thirteen year old. "As you know, this school is high-class and we have no tolerance for ne'er-do-wells. So we suggest that you do your best."
Link sat in his desk, ignoring the constant pokes that came from Dark behind him. His head hurt from the large argument that just happened to occur and two in the morning. After that, Link came nowhere close to falling back to sleep. He turned his head slightly when he received yet another poke from Dark and hissed, "What?"
"Is she our teacher?"
"I don't know… Just shut up and listen you ne'er-do-well." Dark frowned and flipped his lighter side off, ignoring the scoff from Tetra to the side of him. Link grabbed his finger and twisted it, causing the shadow to let out a small yelp of pain.
"Bastard…" he growled.
"The uniform fittings will be tomorrow during school. You should have already received a letter in the mail. I do not-"
"Fuck, we have to wear uniforms?" Dark asked.
"Yup, get used to it now 'cause it'll never change," said a voice from behind Dark.
The shadow turned around to see a girl sitting there. Her eyes were a teal color and her golden hair was pulled back with a silver ribbon. "Who are you?"
The girl smiled and waved a hand at him. "I'm Kali. But-"
"-you can just call her Tail," Tetra finished from her seat beside Dark.
The girl nodded. "So, you are new here, huh?" she asked Link. But he was still facing forward in his seat, listening to the teacher, so then question was left hanging in the air.
"Yeah… The ass in front of me is such a goody two shoes so he won't listen to you. For now at least. Ya hear me, Link?" Dark asked with a sharp prod to Link's head. "So, why are you called Tail?"
Tail exchanged a glance with Tetra and ignored Dark's comment. "You'll like it here. All of the teachers insist on this school havin' the best education. But in truth, they don't teach you anything. So I-"
"Miss Terril, do you have something to share with the rest of the class?" asked the woman who looked like a child.
Tail looked up at her and shook her head. "No ma'am- I mean Mrs.!"
"So she is the teacher!" Dark said quietly.
"No fuck…" Tetra muttered.
"Shut it, sea-bitch."
"Why should I?"
"Because-"
"Ahem!"
Dark and Tetra shot back to attention, their heads lowered in shame, or until Dark decided on making popping noises. Link turned around angrily and Tail let out a giggle. "Are you retarded!?" Link hissed to his twin.
"Excuse me!" the teacher said angrily. "Miss Terril and Mr. Dust, we may have not gotten off on the right foot last year, but please, this year can you, please, behave?" She turned around and began writing on the board. "Why do I always get the ne'er-do-wells?" she asked herself quietly.
Link raised an eyebrow and the shadow. "Did she just call you Mr. Dust?"
Dark nodded and puffed his chest out proudly. "Well, I can't have all the little kiddies callin' me Dark Link, now can I? So I go by Charles Dust!"
Link and Tetra stared blankly at him and Tail just coughed. "Why couldn't you pick anything better than that?" Tetra asked.
"Hey, well at least Linky-poo here shares the last name when we're at school!"
"What?" Link hissed.
"We look like twins don't we?"
Link blinked. "Well, yeah, but, we're nothing alike, attitude wise-"
"Twins don't have to act the same genius. We still look alike. And actually, we are the same," he said with a smirk. Dark leaned on his desk, his eyes searching Link. "I am just the more outgoing version of you. You, my friend, are quieter. But we do think the same things, no matter what you say! I say what I think out loud though whereas you just keep your thoughts to yourself."
"Wow," Tail muttered. "You just used words with more than one syllable…"
"I know-wait! Shut up, stupid."
Dark jumped up when the bell rang. "Lunch time~" he sang, running out of the room and half scaring the teacher to death.
Tail looked up at the clock and stood up. "Well, the first day is certainly going by fast. Come on."
Link grabbed his bag and followed the shadow, Tail, and Tetra out of the room with all of the other classmates following behind. He glanced back at the teacher who was sitting in her chair with a surprised and frightened look on her face. Ah, whatever, if she didn't die after a year of already having Dark, she wouldn't now.
So far, Hyrule Academy was a good school, but then again, it was expensive, thus, all of the rich people were able to afford it. Link felt somewhat guilty for having Zelda pay large amounts of money for their education, but she constantly reassured him that it was nothing. Dark, on the other hand, did not even think about the money. Of course, he would enjoy having some, but to him, free is free. Take it if you can. In his beliefs only though.
The only downside to the school was the uniforms that they would receive later on.
Link followed his twin down the hallway, dodging two people who were sprinting down the hall. He opened a large door with his foot and strode in happily, expecting all of the other students to look at him in his glory. Link began to chuckle as students walked nonchalantly past him, ignoring Dark's pose. Dark folded his arms angrily and sulked over to a table where Tetra and some others were sitting in the far corner of the room that was supposed to be the cafeteria. He grinned to himself. Had Tetra sprinted to the room to beat Dark?
Damn, this is like a five star restaurant, Link thought to himself as he watched the many chefs behind a half wall. He headed over to the table Dark was at. Taking a seat beside him, Link looked at a redheaded girl arm wrestling with Tetra. Beside the pirate was Sheik, watching lazily as he pushed around a piece of chicken on his plate with a fork. Dark began cheering loudly, causing Link to almost fall out of his seat.
"Go Malon! Knock her fuckin' arm, or hand, or whatever you arm-wrestle with to the table once and for all." He jumped up suddenly and took off his jacket, waving it madly in the air. Both Tetra and the Malon girl stopped to look up at him and Sheik yanked him down to his seat. "Ow…" he complained.
"Do you want to get kicked out of this school?" Tetra asked him angrily. "Wait… Dark, do that again!"
"Why?" he question, not understanding what Tetra meant. After awhile, his eyes narrowed and he flipped her off.
Tetra rolled her eyes and Malon giggled. Malon looked over at Link and smiled. "You must be Link then. Zelda told me that they were receiving a new roommate. Well, it is nice to meet you." She held out a hand and Link shook it.
"Malon!" said a voice from behind them. Turning around, Link saw Tail running toward them. She skidded to a stop before the table and smiled. "Mrs. Jaycee is giving the project grades out and she told me to tell everyone."
"Thanks," Malon said with a mouthful of food.
"Chew with your mouth closed," Sheik scolded.
"Yes mother…"
The girl looked at Link and tipped her head to the side like a confused dog. "You're really slow at getting to lunch," she said. Her gaze switched over to Dark who was trying to balance a pencil on his nose. "Why?" she asked.
"'Cause I can."
"And how may I ask did you get into this school? I forgot to ask in History," Tail asked, placing her hands on her hips.
Dark grinned madly and stood up. He was taller than Tail, but the girl didn't move an inch. ""Cause Zelda got me in," he said softly, his face now inches away from hers.
Tail frowned and kicked him in the shin. Hard. Dark let out a cry of pain and he hopped back over to his seat, flipping Tail off along the way. "You really aren't intimidating, y'know," Tail purred with a pleased expression on her face.
"I'm going to call you Devil from now on," he growled.
"Please," Tetra scoffed, "you're more the devil than she is."
"Agreed!" Malon called with a raise of her hand. She looked over at Sheik and Link expectantly, waiting for them to answer as well.
Sheik glanced at Link who shrugged. "Agreed," they said in chorus.
"Shut up, fuckers!" Dark said angrily. He looked around madly and grabbed the first item he came in contact with. "I will use this…" -he looked to the item in his hand-, "spoon… to destroy you all with my army of kitties, dammit!"
Everyone stared blankly at Dark, their expressions unreadable until Tail asked, "You have a cat?"
"Hello everyone," Zelda said, walking up to them. She looked curiously at the group staring at Dark and Tail. "What happened?" she groaned.
"I just said that I was going to use my spoon to destroy them along with my army of kitties. That was it!"
Zelda blinked and slowly took the seat beside Link. "Okay then…" She shook her head and turned to face Link. "Is everything fine so far?"
"Well, if you consider 'fine' having a five-year old looking teacher for homeroom and history, having Dark say he's going to destroy us with a spoon, and Tail being completely oblivious to his stupidity, then yeah, sure. Just is this really a school? It's more like a hotel…"
"You'll get used to it. And don't worry! Mrs. Hicks, Mrs. Carr, and Mr. McAndrew are better than Mrs. Gole."
Link looked surprised at Tail who had taken the last empty seat. "H-how do you know my teachers?"
"Because I'm your stalker, duh." She giggled when Link gave her a blank look and shook her head. "I'm joking, geez. I know 'cause I was put in charge of the newbie schedules. Don't ask me why, 'cause I just was."
"Dark," Malon wailed. "That's disgusting!" Everyone looked over to see Dark mixing his foods together in front of Malon whose lip was curled in disgust. She pinched her eyes together when Dark raised a cup of who-knows-what to his mouth and was about to pour it down.
Sheik grabbed Dark's wrist before he could do anything with the concoction and took the cup from him. He threw it into a garbage can next to him and Dark stood up, beginning to walk away.
"Where are you going?" Link asked him.
The shadow paused and turned around. "To the bathroom, why? If you're going to miss me that badly, then why don't you just come with me?" Dark asked with a grin plastered onto his face.
Link scowled at his twin who actually began to skip away. Behind him he could hear Tail and Malon giggling. He looked at them and frowned. Tail smiled and exchanged a glance with Zelda who was shaking her head. "Link," she asked, "are you gay?"
"What?!" he asked in surprise, almost falling out of his seat.
"Or would you consider that incest?" Tetra asked with her trademark wink.
Even Sheik began to chuckle at Tail's question.
"I'm not gay! Where do you get this from?"
"Well… you never know," Malon said with a grin.
"Great day," he muttered under his breath.
"Come on, Link, it's not that bad," Zelda said, trying to cheer her supposedly gay friend up.
"If anyone else besides you five calls me gay, I will kill you all."
"That's not very nice~" Malon sang. "And Tail was right. You really need to learn how to take a joke."
The color drained from Link's cheeks when Malon said that. They were… only joking. "So…" he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to ignore all five sets of eyes on him.
"What class do you have next?" Zelda asked, ridding the awkwardness between them.
"Eh, math…" Link said.
"Me too!" Tail said happily.
Great, just great, Link thought as he shrank down in his seat. The more he was around Tail, the more she seemed like a less perverted, but more hyper version of Dark Link. And that was not good. Maybe the perverted part was better… It did mean that people wouldn't have to constantly watch over him.
x.x.x.x
"Skip, skip, skippity, skip," Dark said under his breath as he -guess!?- skipped down the hall to the bathroom. Rounding the corner, he ran into a wall. Or what he thought was a wall until it grabbed him and pulled him off the ground. Dark tipped his head to the side as he looked at the person before him. He gaped and squirming.
"What?" asked a deep voice.
Dark looked up and pulled his collar away from his neck. "Well, eh… hey Ganon… um, you see-" His voice stopped when a large hand squeezed his neck.
"You owe me from last year, bastard," the voice hissed.
Damn, where are the midget teachers when you need them!? Dark thought angrily. "I thought I paid you back…"
"In dirt, yeah." Ganon raised Dark in the air. "You humiliated me, so this year, let me humiliate you-"
"Don't waste your time on shit like that," said a monotonous voice from behind Ganon and Dark.
"Who are you to tell me what to do!?" Ganon turned to see a shorter boy with long purple hair and red eyes. He looked at Ganon calmly with an unreadable expression etched into his face. "Answer me!"
"You should plan for revenge. Don't just attack aimlessly. It's meaningless." He shoved his hands in his jean pockets and blinked.
Ganon grunted before dropping Dark to the ground, gasping for air. The 'wall' -as Dark called him- stormed away, pushing past the purple boy.
"Thanks, Vaati!" Dark said happily. He pushed himself off the ground squeezed the emotionless boy to his chest. "Damn, you're short."
"Shut it," he hissed, trying to push himself away. "Can't believe you made it here… Again."
"Of course I did, shorty!"
"I said don't call me that!"
"Shorty, shorty, Mr. McShorty!" Dark sang. Vaati's eye twitched in anger and he leapt towards Dark. "Ah! The midget is after me!" he yelled as he ran back to the cafeteria. He burst through the doors, receiving looks from the other students, and sprinted to his table, latching onto a surprised Link. "He's after me! He's after me, I tell ya'!" he yelled into Link's face. He grabbed his twin's face and shook his head back and forth.
"Get off me, Dark!"
Dark stopped suddenly and looked over his shoulder to see Vaati standing at the entrance to the cafeteria. He stuck out his tongue and the midget flipped him off. "Thank the Goddesses I have lunch and he doesn't…" he said with a sigh of relief when Vaati left. He sunk down onto Link's lap and stretched.
Across the table, Malon, Tail, Tetra, and Sheik had large grins plastered to their faces. Zelda shook her head and did her best to keep her own smile back.
Link, still unsure of the situation, sat there with the lump called Dark on his lap. When he came back to his senses, he through the shadow off his lap and onto a heap on the ground.
Dark rolled around and rubbed his rump. "Ow…" he groaned. "Hey, what are you all smiling at?" he asked the other five.
Malon and Tail let out a laugh and Link bashed his head in embarrassment of the table.
x.x.x.x
Whee~!! I'm going to start having more yaoi, yay! =D And soryy I haven't updated quickly... :'( Forgive me! so, watcha' think so far? Hmm? DL/L yaoiness begins now! Review please!
