Logan's Apologies

This chapter update is dedicated to Dani who was my first and only review since returning to writing. Thanks Dani I hope you like this chapter, it took on a mind of its own.

The Second Time:

He was wracked with guilt. He knew it was her fault that her killed walked free. He knew his dad got away with murder because he destroyed the tapes. It had been a day since the verdict came in and today was his high school graduation. He was remorseful for letting her murderer get off, angry at his father for fooling the jury and for robbing Lily of her high school graduation. He really thought he was protecting Lily. All Veronica's hard work down the drain and for nothing but hurt to both of them.

He couldn't wait until graduation. He knew Veronica would look as beautiful as ever and he couldn't wait to see her. He hoped she'd come to the graduation party he was having. He wanted to apologize to her for the events of Alterna-Prom. It was just his luck that he would be drunk when he had the guts to pour his heart out to her and further his luck he'd be too drunk to remember and spend the night with Kendall. He loved Veronica but he screwed up yet again.

As Veronica received her diploma, applause and cheers, he could only smile sadly. He was proud of her – she finished second in the class when she had so much to deal with the past few years. As he set-up for the party he could only promise himself he would talk to Veronica tonight, if she came, sober. He wouldn't have a drink until they talked.

As he saved her on the roof, he could only feel responsible. He had broken his promise to Lily once again. Veronica really was raped and in some way it was his fault. He had hurt the only 2 women he had ever romantically loved. He couldn't seem to quit hurting Veronica or so he thought.

As he left the Mars household he had one destination in mind – The Neptune Grand. He started with one drink as he began to think of the previous night's events. His father had been murdered, sure the official report was suicide but Logan knew better. If Logan thought he could've been a murderer he'd have done it himself. Sure he wanted his father dead, for what he had done to Lily as well as Veronica, but unless he was in the moment he was sure he couldn't have done it. He was ready to kill Beaver for raping Veronica, supposedly killing her father and almost killing Veronica twice; but then he stopped Veronica from killing Beaver. So maybe he wasn't a killer either.

He should've felt relief that Beaver, no Cassidy jumped off the roof and kept him from having to do something he would regret – if only because of Dick. But instead he felt guilty. Beaver was just a confused, hurt and scared kid. He was Logan's friend. He took Logan's side against the PCHers and never thought against it. Logan blamed himself, he was a victim of abuse at the hands of his father after all. Shouldn't he had seen that Beaver was a victim of abuse too, was he really that self-absorbed.

He couldn't help but feel that he was the cause of all the pain in Neptune. If he hadn't come to town Lily would've never met Aaron, so she would've never had been murdered. Veronica and Duncan still probably wouldn't have been together since Duncan thought they were related. Lily would've graduated. Meg would still be alive since she'd have been in the limo. Maybe she and Duncan would be together raising their daughter. Veronica most definitely wouldn't have been raped and wouldn't have to have the tough exterior.

As he became more intoxicated he realized there was someplace he'd have to be in the morning. He owed Lily an apology not just for Veronica but also for letting Lily's murderer walk free.

The next day he approached Lily's grave this time he didn't hesitate, he knew this was what he needed to do. He placed the lilies in his left hand in front of her headstone and knelt before them.

"I messed up Lily. I really thought I was protecting you" Logan started. "I thought that he would still be found guilty if I watched the tapes and testified. I was wrong and I'm so sorry. You can rest in peace now though someone got justice for you" Logan said unaware he had a very alive audience.

"I am so sorry but I broke my promise again. I really thought I'd get it right this time. I saved her from the Fitzpatrick's and I thought I was doing well. I messed up thought – she really was raped and by Beaver no less. She actually thought he killed her dad. Luckily he didn't but she had to deal with that pain no less. I couldn't protect her from that. Her dad is the best of out of all of our parents – I can't imagine what she was going through. I'm an orphan but at least I know my dad can no longer hurt anyone. The closest I've felt to that was when my mom jumped off the bridge. I loved my mom but it wasn't nearly like Veronica and her dad. But I still didn't protect her like I should've. What if I had been late to the roof? What if we had lost her? I'm so sorry Lily – I'll do better. I promise." Logan cried.

"But you weren't late" Veronica spoke up alerting Logan to her presence. "You were right on time, you were there to save me from taking Beavers life. You were there for me when I thought my dad was gone even though you had lost your dad. You protected me from Liam, Beaver and way back when that crazy ATF guy. You didn't break whatever promise you made Lily because I'm okay. You aren't to blame for my rape and you did protect me as much as I let you" she said kneeling in front of him.

"But I did Veronica. I failed boy you and Lily" Logan said through tears as he tried to wipe them away quickly. "No you didn't Logan" Veronica started then began addressing Lily's grave as she took one of Logan's hands in hers "how could you make him promise something so impossible. You were wild and had your own mind. You always knew I wasn't pink but instead strapless red satin. How could you make him promise that when you knew that about me?" Veronica said.

"Can we try again" Logan asked Veronica "can you ever forgive me for hurting you, not protecting you and for Alterna-Prom." "Logan you rescued me on that roof – you're forgiven. You are always saving me, you are always there for me when I really need you. We can try again but I want to go slow" Veronica answered.

He kissed her much like their first kiss. When she pulled away she smiled. "Bye Lily" Veronica said as she pulled Logan up and they began to walk away. Logan looked back at the tombstone and whispered "I promise."

Note: I believe that there is no way Logan and Veronica would be kissing on each other, without talking at least a little bit, in the Season 2 finale. When Veronica says they need to talk I don't think she means THE TALK. In my mind this would've happened before that part and the talk would've been longer. I do have a companion to this part in mind about why Veronica was at Lily's grave and why she left her dad the next day after learning he is alive. It is not written but if you would like to read that I will write it after finishing the next two chapters of this story.

On another note my other stories will be update as soon as I find my old notebooks, I did find some of the notes I wrote so that is a start once I find the chapters then you'll have an update until that time you will be reading new stuff. I hope you enjoy it.