A/N: I'm so happy to have received some reviews and favorites/follows! Thank you all so much. It truly means a lot to me. Even if I'm writing this for myself, receiving praise from strangers is always nice. Who doesn't like validation, huh? I'd like to thank the two anonymous reviewers too (Guest and Surprised Owl), since I couldn't do it directly. Anyway, here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 2
Helena knew something had changed. She didn't know how Aria had reacted when it happened and she didn't know how she had behaved during the days before she came to New York, but she definitely seemed different after she told her friend about Ezra.
On Sunday, Helena asked Aria to go take a walk in Central Park, visit a museum, do anything to keep her mind and body distracted from what was surely cooking inside her head. Helena knew that, during times like these, idleness was a person's worst enemy. So she was set on occupying Aria's time and thoughts with anything else other than her current relationship drama.
Aria had refused. She had told Helena she was tired, that she needed to sleep and that she would be up for all of those activities the next day. Helena wasn't entirely convinced, but decided to respect her friend's wishes.
So it was now Monday and Aria's friend had just walked out the door to go to work. She had long hours and would probably be home very late. Helena had taken up a temporary job at a magazine that required her presence everyday and Aria was thrilled to have that time to herself, even if she knew it probably wasn't the best thing for her well being right now.
So after Helena left, Aria went back to sleep. She woke up around noon, hungry, and had a small snack. After eating, a sudden tiredness came over her and she fell asleep again. She woke up around 3pm this time, amazed at how much she had slept. She decided to take a shower and read one of Helena's books. She found one that seemed interesting and started reading it. After about half an hour, she fell asleep again. The next time she woke up the sun had done down and Helena was walking through the door.
"Hey", the blonde said, dropping her bag on the kitchen counter. "Did you eat yet?"
Aria tried her best to conceal the fact she had been asleep the whole day, discretely rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Uh, no, I haven't. How about you?"
"No, I'm starving. I'm ordering a pizza, is that okay?"
"Yeah, sure."
After calling her favorite pizza place, Helena sat on the couch and noticed the book lying on the couch beside Aria. "I love this one. It's not what you can call proper literature, but it's so catchy that I don't care."
Aria smiled. "Yeah, sometimes it's good to let go of my bookie pride and just indulge in something like that."
Helena nodded. "So, what did you do today?"
Aria averted her eyes before answering. "Nothing much, just read, basically. How was your day?"
Helena sighed. "Boring and filled with meetings." A silence ensued. "So… did Ezra try calling you again…?"
Aria shrugged. "I don't know. I turned off my phone after he called Saturday and it has stayed that way since then."
"Wow. I can't imagine going through that much time without my phone… you're my new hero. How about your friends? I bet they are worried about you."
"I know, and I feel terrible about it. I don't want them to feel like I'm shutting them out or that you're the only person I trust right now to talk to and all. But I just needed a change. I'll call them tomorrow. I'm sure they'll understand."
"Good. I think that's the right thing to do. They know you better than anyone else, I'm sure they'll be able to help."
##########
"Aria, hey! Thank God you called! We tried calling you all day yesterday, what the hell happened?"
"Calm down, Spence, I'm fine, I just turned off my phone after Ezra called Saturday, I'm sorry I didn't send you guys a text before I did. It wasn't planned."
"Oh, that's alright… we were so worried though. Are you still at your friend's place in wherever you are?"
"Yeah, I am. She's at work right now, so I'm here at her apartment alone. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, things have been… weird." Aria really didn't know how to describe the last few days to her friend. She knew she should try harder, but everything was just a blur in her mind.
"How so?"
"You know, dealing with all of this. I went from having a fiancé to being single, to living in Rosewood and seeing my family and friends everyday to staying at a tiny apartment in a huge city filled with strangers, spending my days sleeping and feeling like a zombie." Aria didn't like how that sounded, she hated feeling sorry for herself, but she had to face it, that was how she was feeling at that moment.
"Oh Aria, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it better somehow. Can I come see you?"
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You don't need to make the trip just to check on me, I'll be a better friend from now on and keep you guys posted. I was stupid for not telling you earlier. I'm in New York, at Helena's place. My roommate from college, remember?"
"Oh yeah, I do. I had a feeling that's where you were going to. Look, I understand why you felt the need to get away and be with someone else right now, but I'd really like to see you. Besides, with this whole Uber A or whatever it is going on and my mom and her campaign, I can't really go back to D.C. and work and move on. So I might as well go see you and maybe try to help."
"I appreciate it, Spence… I'd really like to see you guys too, especially out of Rosewood. But just give me a few more days, okay? Helena is gone all day long, so I've been basically alone with my thoughts this whole time and I think that's what I need right now."
"Are you sure? That doesn't sound too appealing."
"I'm sure. It's just temporary; hopefully I'll be back to my normal self soon. And by that I mean I'll wear something other than sweats and look up and see the sky instead of a ceiling. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
"Well, okay then… Aria, I just think I need to tell you this, although I'm not sure it's the right moment… Ezra called me. He asked me to come over to his place and I did. He was desperate, Aria. He is a mess. I'm not saying I forgive him or that I even feel sorry for him, but I had never seen him like that. He practically begged me to make you talk to him. Of course I told him you're a big girl and I couldn't force you to do anything. He… told me there's an explanation for what he did. He told me he would tell you first, it's not right telling me without talking to you first…"
Aria had remained silent. She knew Spencer was probably going to tell her something about Ezra. If he had tried contacting her then he probably tried to talk to her friends too. What she wasn't expecting was to hear how devastated he was.
"I'm… not ready to talk about this right now. I have to go Spencer, I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Before Spencer had a chance to say something Aria hung up the phone, put on her shoes and got out of the apartment.
##########
Aria had never been the fitness kind. She had never found pleasure in doing physical activities and she actually thought people who did so had a slight mental disorder. How can you enjoy something that makes your body feel awful and desperate for rest?
So that's why she was surprised to feel relieved after running for almost half an hour. She hadn't thought about doing it, she hadn't planned it at all (she was wearing a freaking loafer for fuck's sakes), but she did it anyway and it felt good to have a blank mind and just focus on doing that: running.
She never thought how ironical it was to go for a running right after hearing about something she was escaping from.
When she got back to the apartment Helena was already there. She smiled when she saw Aria walk in looking a little breathless and with rosy cheeks. She seemed energetic, ready to take matters into her own hands. Something had definitely happened while she was at work.
"Hey, there you are! Were you run… wait. You're wearing loafers. No, you didn't! Who was it?!"
"Uh… what are you talking about?"
"You had sex! You actually had sex! Oh my God, it was Ezra, wasn't it? When did he-"
"Just wait a minute. What the HELL are you talking about?!"
"Well, you come in all breathless and stuff, you're looking alive for the first time in four days… I thought you went for a jog, but you're not wearing sneakers, so…"
Aria let out a genuine laugh. "You are unbelievable. Yes, I was, in fact, running. No sex."
"Are you insane? What the hell were you doing running in those shoes?!"
"I know, it was stupid, but it was a spur of the moment thing and I deeply regret it. My feet are probably covered in blisters and I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to wear heels ever again."
"Uh, ok… so why did you go running in the first place? I thought physical activities were against your principles. And can I just say how glad you should be that this happened in New York? Can you imagine how many people back in your hometown would stare at you if they saw you running in these?"
Aria smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's what I thought, I never expected to be an advocate for any kind of exercise, much less running. But I changed my mind. It actually helped. I managed to spend 30 minutes without thinking about anything other than just running. It was like my problems had disappeared, I completely forgot about everything. So, with that being said, I'm going shoe shopping tomorrow morning. At Foot Locker."
It was Helena's time to laugh out loud. "Oh my God, I wish I could be there to witness it. Please take a photo."
"I will", Aria said with a smile.
##########
A whole week had gone by and with each day Aria had increased her "training". Everyday she would go a little bit farther, a little bit faster. By the time Saturday came around, Aria decided to go to Rosewood. Not for good, not to see or speak to Ezra, but to pay a visit to her loyal friends, who had been so patient during this tough week. Aria told Helena she would be spending the weekend there and told her she would also take the opportunity to pick some of her stuff from her parents' house and do some explaining to them as well.
After turning on her phone on Tuesday, to speak to Spencer, Aria decided to block Ezra's number. He had sent numerous texts and called many times while her phone was off, so she decided the best way to deal with it at that moment was to make sure he couldn't reach her in any way, not until she felt ready. And it had felt good to not worry about what he might say during a voice mail or a text. She wasn't even ready for a "please call me back" text, much less a desperate voice mail telling her how sorry he was.
So there she went, finally picking up her car from the garage she had left it in (which reminded her, thanks to the scary bill she got, to leave it in Rosewood and go back to New York on the train) and driving back home.
She arrived at Spencer's house and walked in the barn. All of her friends were there and she couldn't help the big smile that was plastered on her face the moment she saw them.
"I missed you guys so much", Aria said after a lot of hugging and crying. They had finally settled on the sofa, each with a glass of wine, and were now catching up. "I'm so sorry for how I handled everything. It wasn't fair to you guys."
"Aria, don't worry. Like we told you, we understand. No hard feelings", Hanna said.
"We're just happy you are feeling a little better and that you are here", Emily said.
Aria smiled. "Thank you. I'm happy to be here with you guys."
"So, what are your plans?" Hanna asked.
"Well, I'm not gonna speak to Ezra. Not yet. I just came here to see you guys and pick up a few things. Besides, my parents are oblivious to everything that's going on, they think I was out of town because of work. So I need to tell them something, even if it's just that Ezra and I are taking some time apart. I really don't want to get into it too much with them, but I can't lie and say everything's fine, especially if they run into him at The Brew or something."
"You're right, you should do that", Spencer said.
Aria sighed. "Yes, I know. And about Ezra… I really don't know what to say to him or even if I'll ever be able to hear everything he has to say to me. I can't think about it right now, so I'm just going to give it some time and, hopefully, I'll be able to sit down and get some closure."
"Wait, so you're really done with him?" Emily asked.
"I don't know Em", Aria said, feeling all the confusion and turmoil of the last week come back to her head. "What I know is that I can't think about what's going to happen right now. I need to take one day at a time and take care of myself. I need to be a little more emotionally strong to have that conversation with him. And, right now, I'm a wreck, so, even if I wanted to, I can't talk to him right now. It's not a good idea."
"I agree. I'm glad things are a bit clearer for you now", Spencer said.
"Yes, I think they are. I think I'm coming to grips with what's happened and what it all means. I think I'll be able to handle whatever comes my way when I finally talk to him, if things keep going the way they are now", Aria said. "Besides, a relationship is between two people. I can't end it without telling him it's over. So…"
"That's not true", Spencer said. "You have every right to end it without letting him know. You can do this however you want to, Aria."
"Spencer's right. Just change your Facebook status and let him figure out the rest", Hanna said.
"As much as I would like it to be that simple, I can't. I'm a grown up, I have to at least pretend I owe him that. Besides, I deleted my Facebook last week."
The girls laughed and spent the rest of the evening talking about everything but Aria's maybe-fiancé.
##########
It was now Sunday night and Aria was hugging her parents, saying good-bye and telling them she would call them once she got to New York. She felt a lot better after telling them about what had happened. Although her words were limited to "we need some space from each other right now", her parents understood she wasn't ready to talk about it and didn't ask further questions.
Spencer had given her a ride to the train station in Philadelphia and Aria also promised her to send her a text once she got to New York. They said their good-byes and Aria climbed up the stairs to make her way back to the city that was currently serving as her therapist. She found her seat and dropped off her bags on the ground, sighing. She leaned her head on the headrest and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Sometimes she couldn't believe what her life had turned into. She would never have thought this would all be going on. It had been a month since Ezra had proposed and she thought that, by now, they would be happily enjoying their honeymoon in Europe, after eloping. That thought brought a new wave of sadness to her face. She blinked a few times, fighting against the dreaded tears. She missed him. She missed being with him, hearing his voice, lying on his chest, talking to him, seeing his smile, kissing him… she felt her body ache, a physical pain, take over her. It was like she was grieving a part of her life. A part that was probably really over, with no turning back.
She let out a breath. She wasn't a crier and she wasn't going to cry inside a train. She was going to hold it in and make it to New York. She was, hopefully, going to take a nap and wake up feeling a bit better. She looked outside the window feeling a little bit hopeful. Maybe she would make it through this a lot better than she had thought. And then she saw him: Ezra was boarding the same train than her.
Aria panicked for a moment, before realizing he was in another car. She left out a loud breath. But then she wondered: why is he going to New York? She knew the girls didn't tell him about her whereabouts. She knew Helena definitely hadn't either. And then it struck her. She didn't ask her parents to keep her location a secret. She hadn't actually told them she didn't want him to find her. Maybe, somehow, Ezra got a hold of them after she talked to them. From the way she had told them, they definitely didn't think everything was as bad as it actually was. Maybe they thought it would do them good to talk. Hell, maybe, to them, they were on speaking terms and Ezra simply wanted to visit her to make amends.
She quickly thought about how she could escape him once they got to New York. She had given her parents and friends the address to Helena's apartment, in case they wanted to visit, like they had told her. She hadn't seen a problem with that at the time. She never thought Ezra would go to her parents by now. She knew he hadn't before, because her parents had told her they hadn't seen him or talked to him after he got home. So she thought he was probably embarrassed and didn't want to humiliate himself even further by asking her parents for help. But, apparently, he decided to do so today of all days, right after she left. And that was pretty obvious; he wasn't carrying any baggage. He probably went to the station right after talking to Byron and Ella.
Aria thought about it for a moment and decided it was okay. She would simply go to a hotel and stay there for a while, before returning to Helena's apartment. Or maybe even going somewhere else. She had friends she could stay with in Boston. And then she thought: what the hell am I thinking? Am I actually running away from a guy I used to call my fiancé a week ago? Running away like a fugitive, a criminal. God, this is ridiculous. I can't do this.
She decided it was time to stop running. She had trained enough. She didn't feel ready, but she wasn't the same as she was a week ago. She had done a lot of thinking, her anger had dissipated a little, she would be able to have a decent conversation with him, without lashing out and sounding like a drama queen. She could do this. She wouldn't live like that because of someone who had hurt her so easily and carelessly.
She was going to face Ezra.
