A/N: Thanks for the reviews. As for what you guys said I do have plans for all the Eva characters, especially Kaworu. And now, File 02 featuring our beloved beer drinking penguin. Enjoy!
"regular talk"
"thoughts"
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or Bebop.
File 02: The Beer Drinking Penguin
Scene is in some cheap restroom stall. A man whose head is covered in bandages is currently uncovering them and sees in the mirror.
"Heh, not bad. I look a whole lot better than last time." said the guy with the new face. Then just as he's about to flush the bandages three men in lab coats with pistols (for now they're called Wingus, Dingus, and Moron) (A/N: Futurama reference, see The Problem With Popplers.) break in the restroom and surround the only occupied stall.
"Elias Kennedy, we know you're in there. Give us back test subject #0027981." said Dingus.
Elias simply grins and kicks down the door. "Give up now." said Moron. Wingus, Dingus, and Moron are about to shoot when Elias towers them all.
"L-l-like we s-said. Gi-gi-give up." stuttered Wingus. Elias simply knocks them out and stuffs them in the bathroom stalls. He grabs a silver case/cage and heads out the restroom.
Scene shifts to New July (Mars) where a familiar purple ship is flying around.
"Goddamn Elias. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" thought Shinji.
Flashback
Scene is focused on the TV screen showing Big Shot.
"Hello bounty hunters, I have a good bounty for you." said Aoba in a cheap accent.
"Oh? What is it?" said Maya portraying a dumb blonde.
"His name is Elias Kennedy, wanted for stealing an experimental test subject. Unfortunately we only have a picture of his face before his repeated plastic surgery."
"Wow, what a hunk."
"Now, now, he's a criminal and we want him behind bars. Well that's all the time we have for today so live on cowboys." TV is shut off.
"A lot of help that was. Hey Emiko, did you track him down?" said the Kami of Cooking a.k.a. Shinji.
"I'm working on it, anyways is lunch ready?" said Emiko.
"Almost."
10 minutes later…
"Hey Shinji, you said we're having bell peppers with beef but where's the beef?" Emiko complained.
"Can't afford it. With the repairs to the Renault and your damn expensive Lotus we're nearly broke. And we're out of food as well." said Shinji.
"We're out of food? We just restocked a few days ago. How the hell are we out of food?"
"The purple-haired boozehound tried making kebobs. That's why."
"YYYEEEEAAAHHH! That the way to start your morning!" yelled said boozehound as she chugs another Yebisu.
"Its noon." said Emiko.
"Like I said, that's the way to start your afternoon. Anyways, did you find our next food money?"
"Hang on…found him. He was last spotted in New July."
"Alright. You know the drill Shinji."
"Yeah yeah." Shinji said. "Emiko if you're hungry there's military rations under the couch."
"Ugh, those rations taste like crap."
End Flashback
Elias stops at a café.
"Hi, what I can I get you?" said two waitresses (one at Shinji and one at Elias).
"Coffee. Black." said Elias.
"Coming right up." said the waitresses.
For 20 minutes nothing happened except when another man stole the case form Elias and ran off.
"Hey, give that back!" yelled Elias as he ran after him. Unfortunately he loses him at a corner when the thief jumps onto a fish trucks.
"Damn!" he swore as the Wingus, Dingus, and Moron spots him.
"Hey, get back here!" said Wingus.
"Damn, damn, damn!" yelled Elias.
Meanwhile on a fish truck…
"Wonder what's in here?" said the thief.
"WARK! WARK! WARK!" ( Translation: FISH! FISH! FISH!"). The thief hatches an idea.
Meanwhile Shinji is walking down the streets of July when a kid tugs his shirt.
"Hey old man!" said the kid.
"I'm not old. I'm 19." said Shinji angrily.
"Whatever old man. Will you buy this shield? It makes good soup."
"Not now kid. I'm looking for a man with a silver case."
"Oh, he went to the Animal Treasure pet shop around the corner."
"Really, thanks kid." Shinji was about to run off but the kid tripped him.
"I gave you what you want now you must give me what I want." the kid said.
"Screw you kid."
"Help me, this man touched me!"
"Alright, I'll buy the stupid shield."
"Thank you."
"Damn kid." Shinji grumbled as he bought the shield. Shinji enters the pet shop to see the thief.
"Dude I have a state of the art, highly expensive, cutting edge…penguin. And you only buy it from me for only 10 woolongs? Screw this. " said the thief as he left the shop.
"Hey!" yelled Shinji thinking he's Elias.
"Oh crap!" the thief said as he ran. Unfortunately he drops the cage to let out said penguin. Shinji runs after him but slips on a puddle and lands flat on his face. While he's down there Elias steps on Shinji while running from the scientists who also steps on him.
"Goddamnit." Shinji thought. Thinking he lost him Shinji decides to head back on the Viola when he sees the penguin.
Back on the Seatbelt…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST OUR BOUNTY! HE WAS WORTH 8.3 MILLION WOOLONGS! AND ALL YOU BROUGHT BACK WAS A LOUSY PENGUIN?" roared Misato.
"Sorry, I brought home the penguin because it must be special if he wants it so bad. Plus we can sell it off." said Shinji.
"What makes it so special?"
"I don't know but Elias wants it."
Just then Emiko enters the lounge area.
"Analysis shows that he's just a regular warm water penguin." stated Emiko.
"Damn cheap penguin." said Shinji.
"What's with you?" said Emiko.
"It's that damn penguin's fault. It made me lose Elias, got me trampled, and I got for it was this LOUSY soup shield."
"Don't call it 'it'. His name's Pen Pen."
"You name him?"
"Yes, isn't he cute." said Emiko as he cuddle Pen Pen.
"Whatever, I got a plan. Give me the damn penguin,"
Back on New July…
"Crap crap crap." thought Elias. He was walking down the streets after losing Wingus, Dingus, and Moron. Unfortunately the thief lost the penguin and now Elias is royally po'ed. Then a kid stopped him.
"Hey, old man." said the kid from earlier, now a fortune teller.
"I'm not old, I'm only 30." Elias said angrily.
"Whatever old man. Your fortune says that the penguin you're looking for is right around the corner."
"Yeah, like that's going to happen." Elias said. He then sees Shinji and a disgusted Pen Pen on a leash with a tracker/collar.
"Hey, that's the penguin!" Elias said as he was about to run off after him when the kid tripped him.
"You owe me 20,000 woolongs." said the kid.
"Screw you kid." said Elias.
"Help, this man's molesting me!" yelled the kid.
"Alright I'll pay you."
"Thank you."
"Damn kid." Elias said as he pays the kid.
Meanwhile with Shinji…
"Alright, Elias, where the hell are you?" Shinji thought.
"Wark wark wark." (Translation: Damn human and crappy collar.).
"Hey you. Give back the penguin." said Elias as he charged him.
He lands a punch but Shinji dodges. Elias tries a leg sweep and manages to trip him but Shinji does a flip and lands on his feet. Elias keeps trying to hit him but Shinji keeps dodging. "You're too slow." In anger Elias brandishes a knife and attempts to stab him but Shinji dodges again and kicks it out of his hand. "How pathetic." However Elias managed to land a solid punch at Sinji's face but it barely fazes him.
"Is this the best you got?" Shinji said.
Shinji grabs his arm and throws him but Elias lands on his feet. Shinji rushes in and lands a fury of punches on Elias. Elias dodges but gets hit by the last one and he flies back a few feet. "Damn it." said Elias. Elias charges at him and tries to hit him again but Shinji dodges and instead counters with a knee strike to the gut of Elias. Elias doubles back in pain and Shinji was about to slam his face into the ground when the three scientist grabs Pen Pen and runs off in their van.
"Hey, get back with that damn penguin." Elias said as he hijacks a car and chases after the van."
"Get back here!" Shinji roared as he heads to the Viola.
Meanwhile Elias catches up with the van and tries to ram the van. Meanwhile Shinji is following the signal on Pen Pen's collar.
"Reika, don't lose the signal on that goddamn penguin."
"Alright, but you should calm, you'll crash into something."
"I don't give a damn; I just want that stupid bounty!"
They manage to track them down but unfortunately they were about to fly headfirst into a building and manage to swerve away from it.
"I told you so." said Reika
"Stuff it Reika."
Meanwhile with the van…
"Damn penguin, stop moving around!" Dingus yelled while trying to restrain the penguin.
"Wark wark wark." (Translation: Screw you; you guys fed me cheap beer.)
"Damn penguin, I can't see!" Moron said.
"Give back the penguin!" Elias yelled.
"He belongs to us!" yelled Wingus.
Unfortunately they were to crash into a police station.
"Look out!" yelled Wingus.
"Wark wark wark." (Translation: Screw you guys, I'm outta here.) Pen Pen jumps out of the window and into the river as both the van and Elias were momentarily distracted. Shinji finally finds them but unfortunately they crashed into the station. Royally po'ed Shinji heads to the Seatbelt swearing all the way.
On the Seatbelt…
"I'm back." Shinji said as he enters the lounge to see Emiko, a passed out Misato, and…
"WHY THE HELL IS THAT $&$ PENGUIN HERE!"
"Say hello to our new pet." said Emiko.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEW PET!
While on TV…
"Hello bounty hunters. I have news regarding Elias. Earlier today he crashed into a police station and unfortunately for you hunters the police got to him first," said Aoba.
"Aw, how sad." said Maya.
"But not to worry, the specimen that Elias stole was actually a genetically modified data penguin and the police will give 20 million woolongs on the first hunter who catches him." said Aoba. Unfortunately Shinji didn't hear this as he was far too pissed off to pay attention.
"He made a bet with Misato. If he out drinks Misato he stays, otherwise we sell him. And you can guess that he won."
"Don't tell me you can speak penguin."
"No, but I can tell what he says anyways."
"Damn penguin."
Pen Pen approaches him and pees on Shinji.
"OH HELL NO! JUST FOR THAT I'M MAKING SOUP OUT OF YOU!"
"WARK!"
See you, space cowboy…
A/N: And I'm finished. Stay tuned for the next chapter featuring the Red Devil. Review and I'll see you next time!
