Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing. SOB!

Author's Note: Another rewrite. This one's from Duo's POV. This was my personal favorite to write. Reviews welcome.

Mask

People ask me all the time what I'm hiding. They ask me why I even try to hide my true feelings. After all, they say they can see through me, see that I'm in pain and agony, see that I'm internally grieving for those that I've killed.

They want to know; is it because I'm afraid of what people would say, if they knew just how morbid my inner thoughts are? Or am I just too scared about what I've done to even let it out and talk about it?

How do I see myself? As Duo, the happy teenager, renowned for his appetite and blowing up shit all over the universe. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and that's the truth, death's honor. But for some reason, everyone wants to dig deeper into "the real Duo Maxwell." Ha.

None have returned alive.

All of this is just some idiot's fascination with me being carried one step too far.

Because I'm so different than the other pilots, people have come to the conclusion that I must be either insane or just really happy. People tend to go for insane. I'm not really sure why, but I figure that maybe they just like working with me as if I'm a challenge.

Shinigami? So many theories out there about that one. There's one about how I think that I kill everyone I get close to. There's also the people that believe that I'm just getting in touch with my morbid side. Then there's the theory about how I think that I may as well be the God of Death himself.

They're all wrong.

That's right, wrong.

I don't try to hide anything from myself, and I don't need to get in touch with my morbid side, thank you very much. Everyone thinks of me as the happy kid with the deep dark secret.

Why?

Maybe the people like that get bored. Maybe they want to create a scenario where I can be the "damsel in distress" and they can rush to my rescue. Oh, yes, that's me, the psychotic pilot with a secret.

Or maybe it's just because they think I can kill people and have a full night's rest afterward, without the nightmares. Unlike the people that have just lost family members to my wrath.

I have the nightmares, but never anything I can't handle. And I leaned a long time ago that I can only blame myself for so much. After a while, I have to start letting my guilt and self pity go. That's no way to live. Besides, I have to kill to survive. I have no room left in me for pity.

I don't think I'll ever understand exactly why people think that I'm so deeply troubled. After all, I act like a normal kid. Sure, there are people out there who kill people all the time, like Treize. He kept track of exactly how many people died as a result of his actions, and he knew their names. By heart. I have nothing but respect for that. That was his way of dealing with this kind of life.

And I have mine.

I'm not a cutter, I'm not depressed, I don't have suicidal tendencies, and I don't need to be saved. So let's everyone just leave me alone.

People refer to my demeanor as a mask of happiness. Well, let me tell all you people out there that I haven't got any mask at all. I'm just naturally cheerful. Why? Because it's the only way I can live this life without turning into Spandex-Boy. Furthermore, Shinigami doesn't represent my supposed inner turmoil; I just like the sound of the word rolling off my tongue. I like what it means. I don't really think that I am Shinigami. That would be cocky, even for me. It's just a nickname, and if I can get power over the enemy out of it, so be it.

I have nothing to hide. I'm just a happy camper, enjoying what I do. Me, go to hell? Probably. Do I care? Nope. Hey, I'm looking forward to asking Treize how in the world he remembered all those names.

And you know what? I think I'll be enjoying life a lot more than he ever did.