Me: Hello my lovely readers, sorry this is so late, I lost my memory stick. Thank you soo much to the seven who reviewed, you are wonderful people but to the rest of you… I am not happy, not happy at all! It is mean! But good news! I found Snape! He was hiding in my wardrobe-
Snape: Wash your socks! They stink an-
Me: shut up Snape!
Snape: Excuse me! *glares*
Me: Eek! I forgot how scary you are when you're angry!
Snape: You've seen nothing yet! Now write the disclaimer about how you don't own-
Me: Yeah, Yeah I know, don't rub it in. I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, I make nothing from this-
Snape: Whereas J. K. Rowling earns about a thousand a day!
Me: *glares at Snape* Anyway, as I was saying, Harry Potter and Snape belong to J. K. Rowling -
Snape: You'know in most places kidnap is illegal.
Me: Where is it not?
Snape: Voldieland
Me: ?
Snape: You'know, Voldemorts dream land…
Me: Voldemorts has a dream land?
Snape: Not literally, I was making a joke, foolish child.
Me: Well leave the jokes to me, you suck!
Snape: *looks offended* I'm new to this, I'm the evil potions teacher remember?!
Me: Aww Snape are you losing the snarkiness I adore?
Snape: *Jumps away* Eurgh! Affection! Disgusting!
Me: Lol you are weird!
Snape: Says you!
Me: Anyway, what was your point about kidnap?
Snape: You kidnapped me, I could call the police on you, it's a federal crime!
Me: You're a fictional character, you don't count!
Snape: *Huffs* Discrimination!
Me: So, to the point of this interview!
Snape: Snape-napping
Me: You said that last week! Stop being so repetitive!
Snape: Well at least I don't Snape-nap!
Me: Arrgh I give up!
Snape: *Grins smugly*
Me: Bu-
Snape: Wait, is the insufferable-know-it-all here?
Me: You mean Hermione?
Snape: That's what I said
Me: No you didn't!
Snape: Err, yes I did
Me: But, but
Snape: Butts are for goats my dear.
Goat: Meeeeh *Butts Snape*
Snape: Hey! Where did that come from?
Me: Haha, I own this fanfic! The goat came from the deep recesses of my mind.
Snape: That's the best you could come up with?
Me: No *Mutters*
Snape: Send it away, its chewing my robes!
Me: Hahahahahahahaha
Snape: You're weird!
Me: Says you!
Snape: Shut up, that was mean *weeps*
Snape: OI! I AM NOT WEEPING!
Me: okay, okay dude chill!
Snape: *reading* Hmmm, excessive use of explanation marks, your grammar is rubbish!
Me: What is your problem!
Snape: You kidnapped me!
Me: Yeah, so…
Snape: What do you mean so?!
Me: you are gonna have a heart failure if you keep getting so worked up, you mark my words-
Snape: F-I failed you.
Me: …..
Snape: *Smirks*
Me: Hey, that was pretty good actually!
Snape: *Preens*
Snape: Hey, I don't preen! I leave that to Lucius Malfoy!
Lucius! OI!
Snape: What the hell are you doing here!
Lucius: *Shrugs* Ask her *Points*
Luna: Hey since when do Malfoys shrug?
Lucius: *Shrugs* since our writer is lazy
Me: :-(
Snape: Why is everyone showing up here!
Me: Now who is over using '!' marks?!
Ron: Take that you slimy git!
Snape: What is going on here!
Draco: PARTY!
Everyone: Go away Draco, no-one loves you!
Draco: *pouts*
Harry: Whooo, this is gonna be great!
Batman: Sure is!
Luna: Why are you here, you're not even in this book-
Batman: *Vanishes*
Ron: cool!
Snape: EVERYBODY, LE- *BOOM* (*A big explosion happens*)
The Joker: Well hello there everybody, why so serious?
Ron: What the bloody hell are you doing here?
The Joker: The writer loves me *Winks at the Author*
Me: *Blushes* Joker! You are awesome!
The Joker: Why thank you my dear, you should drop round to Gotham some time and maybe, blow up a couple of buildings, yeah?
Me: Sure, it's a date!
The Joker: *Winks* I'll tell you about how I got my scars.
Me: Ooo, Yay! Hey, you smell amazing what is that?
Snape and The Joker: It's the lynx affect.
Me: Wow.
Snape: Now all you people leave, its my time in the limelight, since my youth I have been unloved and overlooked and now….
Everybody: Zzzz
Snape: *Glares* Just go away!
Me: bye!
Everyone: *Leaves*
Me: I'm Kinda tired do you wa-
Snape: Take a break. Have a kitkat
Me: Ha tha-
Snape: JUST. DO. IT.
Me: You are really getting into this but seriously, do you want a drink- Coffee, tea, water- do you like energy drinks? Red bull-
Snape: It gives you wiings.
Me: Dude enough, we need to discuss the ships!
Snape: Huh. Fine, but why am I so out of character, wait I know! Its because you are a rubbish writer!
Me: (Sarcastically) Yeah, that snarkiness was sooo out of character
Snape Stop getting distracted!
Me: Okay, Snape and Ron?
Snape: Ron? Who's he?
Me: Seriously dude? Ron? Ron Weasley?
Snape: Oh the ginger weasel! Ewww, thats just, just, just why?
Me: Hahahaha okay next one, Snape and Lucius Malfoy,
Snape: Lucius? No, Luscious is my friend, he-
Me: Hahahaha you just called him luscious! Lol!
Snape: No dammit, that wasn't me, that was your bad spelling!
Me: Yeah okay sorry, Lucius. Okay, next pairing is Snape and Bellatrix!
Snape: You have got to be joking, I wouldn't go near her with a ten foot broom! Why do people pair us like this!
Me: Well you are both dark and weird people who like black and work for Voldemort and you both hate Sirius Black and-
Snape: Enough, I get the point but still. No.
Me: Okay then, Snape and the whomping willow.
Snape: ?
Me: ;-D
Snape: I am speechless with the idiocy of some people! (A/N: I apologise to all of you Snape/Willow shippers out there, I think you're cool!) (S/N: Well I disagree!)
Me: Fine, okay, your views on Snape and Trelawny…
Snape:Well what do you think Beetlebrain, she is weird and she looks like a trolls behind!
Me: That was a bit mean! And plus it takes one takes one to know one!
Audience: Oooh!
Snape: Yeah well you are so ugly when people look at you they are turned to stone!
Audience: Oooh!
Me: Well you're so thick, you climbed over a glass wall just to see what was on the other side!
Audience: Oooh!
Snape: You're so short you could commit suicide by jumping off the pavement!
Audience: Oooh!
Me: You're so fat you could block up a black hole!
Audience: Oooh!
Me and Snape: SHUT UP!
Audience: :-(
Me: Well at least people don't pair me up with Dumbledore!
Snape: Arrgh! You're kidding right! I'm not gay! And Duumbledore, well, he's old! And don't get me started on that beard!
Me: Hee hee, you're gonna love this one! Snape aaaaaaand… Voldemort!
Snape: Aaaaaaah! What! But that's disgusting, why would anyone do that!
Me: Yup, there's this really sweet one were you and him are talking about death and you say if he died you would miss him because you lo-
Snape: Nooooo! *Tackles author to the floor*
Me: Ouch! Hey, look it's here on the comput-
Snape: *Grabs computer* lemme see…. Arrgh! What! No! Evil machine, AVADA KEDAVRA!
...
Me: I apologize for that' Snape tried to kill my computer. He is sitting on the naughty step.
Snape: I'm not a three year old!
Me: Say good bye to the nice readers Snapey *Snape growls*'cuz that's the end of our interview
Snape: Good riddance!
Me: That was fun, who shall I interview next guys, drop me a review to tell me who! I love hearing from you all, comments, criticisms and ideas-but no flames, they will be used to brew Voldemort polyjuice potion so I can terrify the hell outta Snape! Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it and thanks once more to my wonderful seven reviewers! You are wonderful, the rest of you are lazy (No offence, please review!) Tell me who you want me to borrow
Snape: *cough cough* Kidnap *Cough*
Me: Go away, your time is up!
Snape: :-(
Me: Anyhoo. See you next time guys! I have a date with a certain scarred gotham charecter! ;-D
-Lightscript xox
