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Chapter 2

"Undercover work DiNozzo, undercover work."

The Directors voice ricocheted around the small office, Tony froze, he hand fixed reaching for the door handle.

The director spoke again "You're perfect for job DiNozzo." He was smirking now.

"Excuse me director," Tony spat "can you explain to me please, how you do not see me fit for office work – let alone field work, but you see me as perfectly adequate for undercover work!" DiNozzo was yelling now.

"Like I said DiNozzo," The Director said, his voice perfectly calm " You're perfect for the job."

"What if I say no?" DiNozzo growled

"Then I suggest you start searching for a new job."

"What happens if I do accept it, what happens when I come back?" DiNozzo growled.

"Then the desk position is yours." Foster said opening his hands and shrugging his shoulders.

Tony bit his lower lip, he started going through his possibilities, he had to accept that perhaps this was his opportunity to prove himself, not only to Gibbs, that he was still deserving of his respect but also to Ziva. He had to prove to not only her but himself that he was worthy of her, he could protect her.

"Alright," Tony sighed "I accept."

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The bull pen was completely silent, the only sound that filled the walls was that of McGee's typing.

Ziva tried to concentrate, but her mind was somewhere else, every few minutes she glanced up to the new Directors office where Tony had yet to return from.

She heard the door open and her head snapped around to see Tony descending from the stairs, carrying a folder in his good hand. Ziva's eyes narrowed when she looked closer at Tony.

He had a face like thunder, his eyes which were usually bright green orbs of joy were now as dark as storm clouds. His body was incredibly tense and his fists were balled up in fury.

"DiNozzo.." The Director called pleasantly

Tony spun around and his face contorted into a smile, although his face was still plastered with rage.

"Go home, but I'll see you tomorrow at 0700"

"Yes director." With that Tony descended the final steps and crossed over to where Ziva was sitting.

Tony gently stroked her cheek and then kissed her softly on the forehead "See you when you get home."

And with that he strode over to the elevator doors and left.

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Ziva David tried to concentrate on her work for the day but her mind kept getting side tracked by how Tony was that afternoon. What had caused him to become so angry and worked up.

Many hours later when Gibbs finally grumbled for Ziva and McGee to pack up and go home she almost sprinted out of the bull-pen in order to see Tony.

She knew that tomorrow they would be interviewing to find Tony's replacement and it would be a difficult time for all the MCRT.

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When Ziva finally arrived home at Tony's apartment she found him sat on the living room sofa gazing at a file which was spread out on the coffee table before him, the only light was cast by a small lamp in the corner which spread a comforting mellow glow around the apartment.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered, his eyes never leaving the file Ziva was impressed, he was getting better at detecting her presence.

"Hey handsome." She replied grinning.

But when he finally turned his head to look at her there was no smile which usually covered his cheery face, his face was blank and emotionless but Ziva could see the glint of anger in his eye.

"Tony – what's wrong?" Ziva gently asked, quickly taking a couple of strides and closing the distance between them.

"Don't lie." He whispered slowly "I know I am hideous, I accept that, but please don't lie." It was said so slowly and controlled that is scared Ziva, she reached outand grabbed him by both shoulders.

"Listen Tony, I love you, you are not hideous, you're wonderful and caring and incredibly handsome."

"There you go again Ziva!" Tony shouted, flailing his arms around wildly "You are lying again – I'm the stuff from children's nightmares, I'm the kind of thing that people used to make story's about in order to scare people into being good! I'm a monster!" The last part he shouted so loudly that it seemed to drain him, his shoulders slumped and he looked exhausted.

Ziva reached out and pulled him into a hug, he pressed his face into her neck and she could feel the tears which were falling from his eyes. "I am a monster." He sobbed quietly.

"No Tony, no you're not.!" Ziva said with determination "You're kind, caring, loveable and brave. You're a hero. You're the kind of person that parents tell story's about to there children and when there done, the children will say to their parent 'hey dad, when I grow up I want to be just like Tony DiNozzo.'" With this Ziva drew back so she was looking him in the eye. "You ARE a hero Anthony DiNozzo and what the hell has got you thinking otherwise?"

Tony slowly nodded towards the file which was spread across the table "I've been picked for an undercover mission Zi." He said slowly "And not because of my previous experience or my ability to work in a pressured situation, it's because I look like a freak and it makes my story more believable."

"You're going undercover?" Ziva shouted at him. He nodded slowly "How could you be so selfish! Why must you always go seeking a thrill? Why couldn't you just accept a well paid desk position and deal with it? You would still be able to see Gibbs, McGee, Duck and Abby, hell Tony you could be with me!"

"Because Zi," He said slowly "There is no desk position."

"What do you mean? When we were in the hospital Gibbs said th.." She was cut off because Tony had placed a finger on her lips.

"There is no desk position unless I take this job, which is why I am taking it, so I can see Gibbs, McGee, Duck and Abby, and hell Ziva even you." He smiled slowly and Ziva could have sworn she felt her heart melt inside.

"When do you leave?"

"Who says I am leaving?"

"When are you leaving me DiNozzo?" She asked tears were running down her face "When are you leaving me for another Jeanne?"

By now Ziva was screaming, mascara was running down her face. "I'm not Zi," Tony said slowly "I made it perfectly clear to the director that no matter what I am not ending my relationship with you."

She nodded slowly at this.

"But you have to go away?" She asked.

"Yes," He replied his voice almost breaking.

"For how long?"

"For how ever long it takes Zi."

"Where?" She choked out.

"England." The answer was short and to the point, it left no room for error but Ziva could have sworn she heard her heart break.

"When do you leave?" She asked

"I don't know," He replied truthfully "It depends how long it takes to get a cover identity which can undergo serious scrutiny."

"What's the mission?" She asked.

"Come on Zi, don't ask me, you know I can't tell."

"How dangerous is it?"

"I can't tell you Zi."

"HOW DANGEROUS IS IT?" She screaed at him, he slowly looked her in the eyes and the room was filled with a moment of silence.

"Dangerous enough." He replied.

Ziva quickly pulled him into a kiss, he eagerly returned it, pulling her into the cocoon of his embrace. They both let all their emotions flow through to one another, anger, passion, love. Together they were connected. Ziva snaked her hands up towards Tony's hair, burying her hands in it. Tony slowly moved his hands towards Ziva's waist and he slowly began to lift her shirt.

Ziva quickly pulled back breaking the kiss.

Tony looked at her, confusion alight in his eye.

"I'm sorry," She whispered her voice low and hoarse "I'm not ready yet, not after what Tzahal's men did to me, not after Somalia."

Tony's face filled with anger, but Ziva knew it was not directed at her, then Tony took a few breaths and he looked up at Ziva, his eyes filled with sorrow "God Zi, I am so sorry."

"No!" Ziva quickly pulled him into her arms "It is I who am sorry."

"You have got nothing to be sorry for Zi." Tony growled.

"If you want to leave now, I understand."

"Leave?" Tony questioned

"If you want to leave me and find some short skirt down at the bar, I understand." She nodded slowly, she wasn't sure if her heart could take such rejection.

"Sorry to break this to you Ziva, but I'm not going anywhere." Tony smiled his crooked grin "I love you and I don't care if I have to wait forever, I not leaving, not now, not ever."

Ziva smiled one of those rare, true smiles and pulled Tony back into another kiss.

"Forever and ever" She whispered softly

"Forever and ever" He replied.