Ok, I have decided, to put this chapter up to get something equal to what Jenny was feeling and I thought it would be appropriate to write about Nick's feeling and expieriences when he lay in coma.

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The reign of darkness

The last thing I saw was Connors face, concerned, sitting next to me, while the shadow crept closer and the cold caught hold of me, freezing the pain.

"Tell Claudia Brown, oh well doesn't matter...." I said, before the darkness pulled me away from waking thoughts.

I knew I was dying because Helen had shot me in the chest. It had hurt first, but I wasn't feeling it now. It seemed to me that my spirit drifted away, leaving my body, ending up in nowhere.

It was like standing on soft ground, like a patch of grass, but when ever I looked down, I could only see the darkness around me. I could see nothing, not my body, not the ground.

So this is what it feels like being dead. No heaven, no hell, no neverending agony of fire and pain, just darkness and no monsters or demons to tear you apart.

I could think at least, but I couldn't speak. I just stood there, trying to see through the dark streching out before me, hoping for at least a dim light, that showed me where I was.

I grabbed my chest, but there was no blood.

But I thought she shot me...

Wait, she did shoot me, but then that being the case why is there no blood on my chest?

I couldn't see my hand, but I could feel it grabbing at my chest.

But if I'm dead, I shouldn't be feeling anything, right?

God, this was confusing.

Long I stood there, looking here and there, but seeing nothing other than darkness. I heard nothing except my own breathing, which was another weird thing. Dead men don't need to breathe. There was no one or nothing else than me there, wherever I was. I was literally alone.

And I wished for someone to come and explain this to me.

I thought I was dead, but then I wouldn't be breathing or feeling or hearing. And somehow I didn't like the thought. I didn't want to be dead, there were things which needed to be done yet, people talked to yet.

Wait, what people exactly?

I tried to remember the people I had thought of. Names appeared in my thoughts, but drifted away again, before I could grab them. I closed my eyes and saw faces of people I couldn't remember, but I knew them. They were smiling at me. Why? And why was remembering so hard?

I saw a beautiful woman walk over to me, pressing her lips to mine.

"Don't panic, but I just told that guy over there that you were my boyfriend."

Claudia! Of course, how could I forget her?

I would have slapped my palm to my forehead if I knew where my hand was exactly.

Weird, sounds like I lost it...

Her face appeared again out of the darkness inside my head. She looked frightened.

"Nick don't leave me!"

I wanted to shout back, but no word left my mouth. I could only watch what happened and couldn't move. Pictures and voices appeared and echoed around me, teasing me, confusing me until I didn't know anymore who I was. I didn't even know if what I saw was real. Time passed unheeded as I stood motionless, trying to make sense out of what I saw. Not that time had any significance, not now anyway.

The sounds around me were a blur to my ears, words unheeded, everyone talking at once. Noise rose; roars and screams and rifle blasts. All was just so loud, I could barely hear my own thoughts.

Again I wished for someone to get me out of here, stop that roar of noise and put an end to that confusion which ran rage within me. I collapsed on that invisible floor, seeing nothing but shadow and darkness around, filled with the noise of people dying. Suddenly I felt very alone, a loneliness I wasn't yet ready to face, left behind in a neverending eclipse.

And after an eternity of fear and screams, I heard a sob. I wondered how I could have heard it with all these screams around me. But it was there.

I looked around me again, but nothing had changed, the dark still remained. Through the mist of thoughts and fears and pain I heard someone cry. But I couldn't make out where it came from. It seemed to be all around me.

I wish it would stop, I can't take more of this...

But it didn't. Still I heard it, the sobs of a woman in despair. I wondered if I was the cause of it. If I was the reason the woman was crying. And I wondered if it was Claudia crying there.

Jenny...

Only a thought there, but I heard it as clearly as a spoken word. Maybe the darkness spoke it out, something like an unknown intelligence behind it, but I had heard it. And who was Jenny? I tried to remember but all I got was the sound of something clicking on hard ground.

Heels on concrete....

Who was wearing them?

"This better not be another false alarm."

"Why were you busy?"

A woman talking to me and I was answering her. But who was she? And where were we when she said that? But it was gone again, before I could find it out.

Was that Claudia or Jenny?

And still the dark reigned around me as if it was unwilling to let me go yet. Still I heard bits of words spoken around me, but there was no sense in it. I simply didn't understand the words, though they were clearly spoken, I just couldn't get meaning into what I heard.

Nick...

A voice broke the strain of thoughts and silenced all other sounds. I turned around, half expecting to see someone there, but saw no one.

I'm here....

I wanted to say it, but even though my head thought it, my mouth couldn't speak it. The voice was somewhere beyond the darkness and automatically I got up and walked forwards.

I'm dead anyway, so I have nothing to lose.

Words amidst sobbing, softly spoken, but I couldn't understand them. They seemed to be uttered all around me, but it was only one person speaking. A woman.

Claudia...

Slowly, silently the dark turned to a dim fog. Pale faces passed through it like shreds of cloud. Angered, concerned, frightened, women and men whose names I couldn't remember.

But still I couldn't make anything out of my surroundings. There was nothing, grey veils streching out into nothingness, leaving me lost within this world. If it really was a world.

Really if this is death, it sucks....

There was no colour in the faces around me, all was in shades of black and grey and white.

I stood still, watching them pass by, looking at me with dead eyes. Where they dead, or was I dead? I couldn't remember. Once again I wished to be taken away, I didn't care to where; as long as I was far away from here.

Nick....

Again the voice came to me, the tone broken as if the word was uttered while the person was crying. And it was Claudia's voice. I was certain of it.

It seemed like a beacon within dark clouds, lighting the way to anyone who passed by. But there was no one but me here.

I walked again, at least I thought that, towards where the voice came from, but I wasn't sure of it. I was just walking, maybe going in circles, though I had forgotten what a circle looks like. Thinking became difficult, as if I wasn't capable of it. Words left me, I simply forgot them.

But all the while there was one thing I was certain about. I had to get to that voice. Maybe the person calling me had the answers.

Maybe Claudia had the answers.

My knees became weak and I staggered. I couldn't see the ground or my feet, a grey fog encircled me, thoughts drifting into nowhere and coming to me out of nowhere.

After another eternity of walking and hearing voices that spoke but said nothing, words uttered but unimportant calls, I collapsed. Lying on my back I looked into the grey nowhere above me and saw the black shadow returning.

I welcomed it.

Maybe it stops this... Drains out the words and the calls and the thoughts...

And then the light returned. I saw something white above me, what was it called?

A ceiling...

And someone was gripping my hand. I looked to my side, couldn't see much and what I saw made no sense to me. I tried to get the person into focus, brown hair encircled her. It was a woman and she held my hand. She looked tired and she had cried.

I tried to talk but saw her crying again. Tears rolled down her cheeks, wetting my palm and I brushed off one of them with my finger, touching her cheek.

Her eyes looked at me full of happiness and love.

Claudia...

And then I remembered it. Claudia was gone, she wasn't here.

Then this is Jenny...

I heard her say my name and I realised that it had been her voice penetrating the darkness. It had been her who had chased the dark and the screams away, she had been the beacon lighting my way. I wanted to reply, but I couldn't speak. I simply forgot the words I needed to use and as much as I wanted it, I couldn't reply, no sound left my mouth. And I was weak, so weak.

Smiling I closed my eyes, giving in o the weakness of my body, glad that the dark had passed and I was someplace else, still feeling Jenny's hand holding mine. And I dreamed again, but no darkness around me, only the shining star of her laughing face.


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