Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I know I said it was going to switch bewtween Sara and Grissom mid chapter, but I changed my mind and thought they should have a chapter each, this one is Grissom, next will be Sara, etc...

So here we are, together and yet not. That's how it always was I suppose, we fit so perfectly and yet we never really knew each other. I only wish it could be me holding her hand under the table. I can't believe this is happening, I tried so hard to forget all of this, forget the pain, and the heartache and the arguments. I have a happy marriage, it's average, it's normal, does that make it boring?

I remember when I was with Sara life was never boring , I remember once she got bored on her day off, and I came home to find our bedroom re-painted.

I walked in the door, I'd just wrapped my case and all I wanted to do was curl up with her. The smell of pain assaulted my nostrils and I wondered what the hell she'd done this time. I followed the sound of her singing to our bedroom, it's funny how I can still remember the song (Kelly Clarkson - You Found Me). I walked up to the door and just took her in, she was wearing just one of my big old sweatshirts and she was covered in lemon coloured paint.

"Ahem".

"Oh… umm… I got bored. You like it?"

"Yes… you got bored? So you painted the bedroom?"

"Yeah…" she moved closer to me, slowly, almost painfully slow, unbuttoned my shirt and moved against me, claiming my mouth, and with it my soul…

Boring was never an emotion in the Sidle/Grissom household, it was all happiness and smiling and love-making for the first 3 years. Then came the fights, I guess we were both stubborn, neither would accept the other's point of view. I can still remember why it ended, it seems so silly now. We were arguing over where we should go on holiday, pathetic, I know, she wanted to go to Miami, I wanted to got o the rainforest and she accused me of loving my bugs more than I loved her. So I told her if that's how she felt she should get out, so she did, and it's not that I didn't fight for her, I tried so hard. After she handed in her notice to Ecklie I gave up, that was it, there was nothing more I can do, so two weeks later she was gone. So I cleared out her stuff, from both my house and my heart.

Over all the years I'd been without her, I'd always wondered what she was doing with her life, but no matter how hard I searched, she seemed to have made herself invisible. That's why it's so unbelievable, me sitting right across the table, close enough to touch, but not close enough to feel.

"So, Grissom, what're you up to now? Still in Vegas".

"Yeah, I teach at the university and occasionally consult for the crime lab. Bugs. You know". At that comment her face seemed to stiffen,

"Yes, I know".

Hmm, so maybe she remembers it as well, I wonder if she ever thinks about it. Probably not, she never tried to get into contact with me, and she knew where I was.

"So, Karl." says Gloria, "what do you do?"

"I'm a surgeon up in Seattle. We live there now. Cardiac surgeon actually."

Surgeons still make me shudder. I think Sara notices the flash of pain in my eyes. That case still haunts me.

"Wow, impressive. And Sara? Still a CSI?"

"Yeah, supervisor now, it's great, apart from the paper work. Now I understand why Griss was always at the lab so late…"

She seemed to think she'd said something wrong, although I don't think anyone else noticed. Lost in my thoughts again, I think back to that case, strange, I can't even remember her name, but I remember his alright. Vincent Lurie. After that night, I knew I had to do something, so I did, I tried anyway, for weeks. Then after what happened to Nick I realised how short life is. So I went for it, a year later we were living together. 4 years after that she left. Around a year after that I married Gloria. Some would say I moved too fast, but I just wanted to get over Sara, I suppose it hasn't really work, even now.

"Y'know what, I'm tired baby, I'm gonna head back to the hotel, you stay though, I'm sure you probably have loads to catch up on", what? NO!

"Okay, I'll just come back with you."

"Don't be silly, you stay, talk, I'll see you later."

Oh God, now I have to make conversation.

"So, Sara, did you keep in contact with Nick and Greg?"

"I did, a lot, still email at Christmas and stuff, but we're not so close anymore, it's a shame, I really miss them both."

"You know, you're welcome back anytime you like…"

"I'll think about it…"

Even small talk holds so much tension for us, how hard can this be?

"It's getting late, I should probably get back to the hotel, it was great seeing you again",

"Yeah, us too. It was good to catch up, so, I guess I'll see you around?"

"Hey! Why don't we do this again tomorrow?"

No Karl shut up!

"Actually, I promised I'd go to my mothers for dinner, sorry."

"Oh well that's ok, whatcha doing for lunch?"

"Well, umm…"

"Great! We'll meet you at the coffee shop next door, oh, and I've got the cheque tonight, I insist."

I can't help but notice how uncomfortable Sara looks, but what can I do? It would be impolite to refuse. I'll go tomorrow and that'll be it, over. Again.