Hi again, sorry for delay of update, this chapter was a tricky, the others should be up quicker. I decided not to use the song I wrote, it just isn't ready and I wanted to get this up pronto. I may use it in a different fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! No matter how many times I dream I do neither do I own "Hate Me" by Blue October.
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Throwing his bags into the seat next to him Bakura slammed the door of Ryou's car, and drove off into the night. The rain fell heavily onto the roof of the car, the sound seemed to intensify driving Bakura to insanity lol-like he had far to go pushing random buttons the radio switched on.
The annoying man whining on the radio didn't help matters, Bakura wanted silence, but then that would cause him to start thinking about what he had done. Bakura relaxed as a song came on glad to be free from the mans incessant ramblings.
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
The music filled the corners of the car, as violent rears stung his eyes, his grip crushing the small piece of paper still clenched in between his hand and the wheel.
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
What have I done? It's for the best. Ryou was better off without him. He had to be cruel to be kind. Bakura could never be a part of Ryou's life if he wanted him to be happy. I just can't give him what he wants.
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
It'd be better if he never saw him again, no contact, nothing.
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space
Just forget me Ryou, there's no room in his heart for you, for anyone.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
He just needs to forget me, why do I care, I shouldn't. He's weak and useless child, he means nothing to me. So why do I care that I hurt him? I need to get out of here.
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
Where should I go? Egypt? Can't catch a plane now, plus I have no money. A bar? No, I won't I can't no more I won't drink anymore. Marik? I must be desperate, he'll do for now.
I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
I swear, I will. Maybe I'll come back when I get better, if I get better. Who am I kidding he is better off without me, he won't want me back into his life after this.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
This is for the best Ryou, you need to forget me, but I know you won't your too good a person, somehow I have to make you see.
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
After all, Ryou had always seen the good in him
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
He took out his mobile and called the place he had once called home, allowing it to ring. Please pick up.
Minutes? Hours? days? Ryou wasn't sure how long it had been since Bakura walked out of the door, out on him. In the silence a monotone ring seemed to screech through the air, startling Ryou as he fell backwards. He wiped away the tears that fell from his eyes to find them quickly replaced by more.
The phone continued to ring, why didn't they just give up? The noise suddenly stopped and the room was filled with silence once again, apart from the quiet sounds of Ryou's sobs. Yet once again the phone rang,he couldn't ignore the phone forever, he'd just have to get it over with. Holding back the tears he picked up the receiver.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Kura? "I don't understand, what do you mean?"
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
"You're what's good for me, I love you, please come back!"
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
A million questions ran through Ryou's head, each had no answer. Why was he doing this, if he was taking the effort to 'speak' to him he must want him to listen. Did he still care, was this the reason why? Most others would have just left without a trace.
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
"I'm sorry I hurt you, but I have to go. I can't feel like this, I can't. Just listen"
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"
"Like I did?" I'm sorry Kura, I didn't know loving you would push you away
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
"I could never hate you Kura, never." Ryou barely heard the gentle sigh from the speaker.
"You have to, it's the only way"
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
"The only way for what?"
For you…
"What Bakura what! Speak to me"
For you…
"Please, I love you, Kura, why are you doing this?"
"For you"
For you…
The silence surrounded Ryou once again, a soft sigh reached his ears before the beeping noise showing that the call had ended. The phone clattered on the floor as it fell from Ryou's hand.
"Why?"
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Hands up who's ever phoned someone up, not said anything and just played a song describing how they feel? is that tumble weed rolling past? Just me then.
I know it's over due, sorry. I just couldn't finish it cos I couldn't finish my song or find a replacement, but finally found one which semi fits. After all I'm more familiar with songs about being left heartbroken, not the one who's doing the breaking.
