March 1979-January 1980

Being the secret friend of Rachel Green was tough work. Very tough work. There were rules to being her secret friend. Monica had written those rules down:

1. Do not eat lunch with Rachel at school

2. Rachel can't invite Monica to her birthday parties

3. Rachel will celebrate her birthday with Monica the day after her birthday party

4. Rachel will always be included at Monica's birthday

5. The secret friendship will never be revealed

Rachel had even signed this contract of sorts and wrote in tiny letters at the bottom of the contract, "I'm sorry". Despite this, it was how their friendship would progress. At school, Monica sat alone, often with a doll or two and would watch as Rachel would sit with Mindy, Sharon and Nancy. She would put on a brave face when the four girls would walk over to her and call her "Monicow" and "Fatso". She grinned when during a dodge ball game in PE in the third grade Nancy screamed, "let's tip the cow" and everyone threw their balls at her, even Rachel. Ross was no help either. Whenever he saw Rachel, he'd stare at her. When Monica told Ross how mean she was, Ross called Monica fat and said that Rachel was the most perfect person ever in the whole entire world. Monica's weight seemed to be increasing with each passing year as well. With every insult thrown her way, a cookie would be the reward. She'd sit in the pantry of her home, eating what she could find and then making sure everything was back in it's place, she'd sneak up to her room and play with her dolls or make friendship bracelets, a skill she had discovered and when Rachel had seen her work, she added a number six to the secret friendship contract:

6. Make Rachel friendship bracelets every week.

Monica's favorite day with Rachel was on Monica's birthday. They would sit together in the big pantry of the Geller home, sharing a box of Twinkies and secrets. Monica got to see Rachel for who she actually was, genuinely sweet. It was her favorite part of the secret friendship, she got to see something no one else did. She got to see the real Rachel.

"So guess what?" Rachel asked, taking a bite of a Twinkie. It was 1979 and Monica's ninth birthday. The friendship bracelet Monica had made for Rachel hung on Rachel's wrist. Monica's eyes widened as Rachel looked at her.

"What?"

"I played a trick on Amy," Rachel said referring to her twelve year old sister.

"Really? What did you do?" Monica asked. She loved listening to Rachel talk about the pranks she pulled. It was something else she knew about Rachel, but no one else did.

"I filled her bed with nickels," Rachel said as she covered her mouth and giggled. Monica laughed too.

"Why?"

"'Cause it's funny. I put them in the sheets. So they were really heavy and made noise. It was funny."

"That sounds funny."

"We could play a trick on Ross?"

"No, I'd get in trouble," Monica said.

"No."

"Yeah."

"Oh...can I tell you a secret? Promise not to tell?"

"I promise," Monica said as she unwrapped another Twinkie.

"You're brother isn't ugly."

"Ewww, do you like my brother? 'Cause that's like really, super gross."

"No, I don't like your stupid brother. I'm just saying he's not ugly. That is all."

"Ewww, you like my brother. Maybe you'll get married and then...oh, if you got married, we'd be sisters," Monica remarked.

"Monica, we are sisters," Rachel stressed, grabbing another Twinkie and unwrapping it. Monica smiled, although the comment made her feel sad.

"Just secret sisters?" Monica asked.

"Secret sisters. That's so much better than real sisters. I have real sisters and they are so mean. Amy talks on the phone all day and night and-and Jill...she is such a baby that she still sleeps with a night light. When I was her age, I did not sleep with a night light," Rachel said.

"But you were still afraid of the dark," Monica said, remembering her seventh birthday when Rachel had slept over. Rachel had asked if they could sleep with the bathroom light on, it was one of the first secrets that Rachel had ever told Monica...that she was afraid of the dark.

"You don't tell people that," Rachel said.

"Not even your family?"

"No. My mommy and daddy always say that it is best to keep everything you're afraid of inside and never let anyone know."

"Your mommy and daddy say weird things," Monica said. "You told me."

"'Cause I trust you."

Monica smiled as she nodded. Her friendship with Rachel was weird. In private, Rachel revealed her true self. She revealed her fears, her wants, her desires. Monica knew that Rachel loved soap operas, eating Twinkies and could polish off an entire bag of marshmallows on her own. She knew Rachel was afraid of the dark until second grade. She knew Rachel loved to play pranks and watch silly movies. She knew Rachel called her in tears, begging Monica not to hate her after that horrible game of dodge ball where Nancy wanted to play "tip the cow". She knew Rachel loved clothes and would steal her mom's fashion magazines. It was almost like Monica got this secret pass into the secret world of Rachel Green.

The holidays were rough for Monica. It began with an accident during Thanksgiving of 1979. She and Ross were playing touch football with their cousins. Everyone was there for the Annual Geller Bowl. There was trophy involved, teams, everything. Ross was picking on her a lot that day, telling her she was too fat to be on anyone's team. He had said it in front of their parents, yet they seemed to ignore it. Monica was getting mad and as the game began, she kept getting madder. It wasn't just Ross that was being mean, it was all of her cousins. The adults seemed oblivious. It felt like school, like that horrible game of dodge ball when the teachers stood around and let her get harassed. She wasn't sure what had happened. She hadn't even noticed what she had done but she caught the ball and Ross ran towards her.

"Oink, oink," Ross said, grinning at her. Monica glared at him as she lifted her arm up and quickly moved her elbow back. She heard something crunch but kept running until she felt her mom grab her arm and began spanking her. She let out a cry.

"Stop, stop," Monica cried.

"You broke your brother's nose," Judy said as she continued. Monica could hear laughing behind her. Her cousins were laughing at her.

"He said oink, oink," Monica said as Judy finally stopped spanking her and turned her around to glare at her.

"Don't lie to me. I am not in the mood. You have ruined Thanksgiving," Judy said.

"He was being mean," Monica cried as she rubbed her bottom.

"Let's go...to your room," Judy said as she grabbed Monica's arm and dragged her off. Through her tears, Monica could see her cousins snickering. Ross was standing with Jack, glaring at her.

"Way to go, fatty," Ross muttered.

"Mom, Ross called me fat," Monica said.

"You broke his nose," Judy said as she pulled Monica into the house and up to her room. She sat Monica in a chair that was facing the wall.

"This isn't fair," Monica said.

"You are to stay in this room and not come out. We have to now take your brother to the hospital," Judy said as she walked out of Monica's room, slamming the door shut behind her. Monica kept crying as she stared at the wall. Soon, she wore herself out with crying and got up. She walked towards her bed and peered under it, grabbing a large Hershey bar. She slowly unwrapped it, taking a bite. It helped, made her stop crying. No one understood. It seemed obvious. She would always be a secret. She sat on her bed, staring out the window, tears falling again. She was Rachel's secret friend. Even her parents seemed to want to keep her a secret. As she was staring out the window, she thought of the Geller Bowl Trophy. She wanted that trophy. It was hers. If she was to be a secret, then she'd secretly take a prize. She finished off the Hershey bar and slowly opened her door. She snuck out of her room and tiptoed towards her parents room. She could hear her family laughing downstairs. She paid no intention. She was a secret, invisible. The Geller Bowl Trophy was sitting on her dad's side of the bed. He had said something about throwing it away, but she would get it. She grabbed it and tiptoed back to her room, hiding it under her bed. She grabbed another Hershey bar and unwrapped it, eating it. It made her happy, like sitting in the pantry eating Twinkies with Rachel. It was her secret.

Ross got his revenge that Hanukkah. Things had eventually blown over. Ross had gotten his nose fixed and no one had bothered asking where the trophy was, especially since Ross was injured and Judy and Jack had to tend to him. Monica felt even more ignored but when she got that Easy Bake Oven she had wanted, she thought maybe...just maybe her parents had finally listened. She decided to make brownies which she did but they took forever to bake and she was getting impatient and that's when Ross approached her with the light bulbs from the halogen lamps they had in the Geller living room.

"You know, I read somewhere that halogen lights make things bake faster," Ross said.

"Really?" Monica asked. She wasn't sure what he meant or exactly what halogen was, but Ross was always reading science books. So maybe he knew.

"Let me help you."

"You forgive me for breaking your nose?" Monica asked.

"You're my sister. Let me replace the bulbs for you," Ross said as he replaced them for her. She was amazed that he was doing something for her. Maybe things would change in 1980. Maybe he would be a nicer brother. Ross grinned at her and walked out of the room. Monica stood back and waited while the brownies baked. Soon though, she smelled smoke and suddenly the entire Easy Bake Oven burst into flames. She screamed when Judy and Jack raced into the living room to see the Easy Bake on fire. Jack ran to get the fire extinguisher as Judy grabbed Monica's arm. Jack ran back with the fire extinguisher and extinguished the fire. Monica was breathing heavily as she stared at wreckage of her Easy Bake oven.

"What happened?" Judy asked as Jack leaned in closer to inspect what had gone wrong when he stepped back and walked towards the lamps with the halogen light bulbs. He looked in each lamp and then turned to look at them.

"She changed the bulbs," Jack said, looking angry which scared Monica. She had never seen her dad get angry at her. It was usually her mom who did the disciplining.

"You did what?" Judy asked.

"No, no, Ross did," Monica said, "he changed the bulbs...he did it, not me. Please believe me."

"Let's go," Jack walked towards Monica and grabbed her arm. Monica was terrified, sobbing as her dad pulled her upstairs to her room. At the top of the stairs, Monica saw Ross, laughing.

"Ross did it," Monica cried as Jack pulled Monica into her room and pulled her over his knee where he began to smack her bottom. Monica was in hysterics. "It wasn't me."

"Stop lying."

"No, daddy. Please."

Monica was sobbing as her dad spanked her. Her dad never spanked her. This wasn't her fault, this was Ross'. Yet as it always seemed, no one believed her. Soon, her dad was done spanking her and led her to the chair facing the wall.

"You need to start behaving yourself. You almost burned down the house. You are not to come out of this room," Jack said, sounding angry as he stormed out of the room. She sniffled as she stared at the wall.

"It's not my fault," she cried to the wall. "It's not my fault."

She took a deep breath and walked towards her bed, grabbing the box with the candy bars. She grabbed another Hershey bar and unwrapped it. As she ate, her crying subsided and she began to feel a bit better although no one did get her. She soon fell asleep on her bed, surrounded by Hershey bar wrappers. She dreamt of being a grownup, of moving away. She dreamt of being with someone who did not want to keep her a secret. Someone who believed her that Ross was evil.

The annual New Years Day party at the Green's house was a fancy affair. Tensions were still high between Ross and Monica. Monica still furious with him for getting her in trouble although, part of her wondered if her parents had realized that maybe Monica had been telling the truth because a few days after the Easy Bake Fire, she got a new Easy Bake Oven. Her parents never apologized, never said a word so she was still angry. When they reached the front door of the Green home, Jack turned and looked at Monica and Ross.

"You two need to get along and behave yourselves," Jack said.

"Do not embarrass us," Judy said.

"Hopefully, Monica won't try to burn down the house," Ross said.

"You put the bulbs in, not me...admit it," Monica whined.

"Kids, enough and you got a new Easy Bake, so we do not need to discuss it anymore" Jack said as he knocked on the door. Sandra Green opened the door with a big grin.

"Gellers," Sandra smiled as she ushered them in. She gave Judy a hug as she looked at Ross and Monica. "Rachel, Amy and Jill are in the playroom. Jack, the men are in the living room and Judy, will you help me in the kitchen. Sophie is catering. She should be here soon. Apparently, something came up with the other family she works for. I don't know, she'll be here soon."

"That's a shame. I hope everything is okay," Judy said.

"She said it was," Sandra said as she grabbed Judy's arm and pulled her towards the kitchen. Ross and Monica walked towards the playroom, not speaking to each other. When they walked in, Rachel noticed them immediately and ran towards them.

"Monica," Rachel said.

"Hey, Rachel, how are you?" Ross asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel said.

"That's a pretty dress you're wearing...it...it makes you look pretty," Ross said. Monica and Rachel both stared at him, confused.

"You're a weirdo. Will is over there playing with dolls," Rachel said pointing to a boy in the corner playing.

"Dinosaurs, not dolls," Will yelled.

Rachel rolled her eyes as Ross walked towards Will and began to play. Rachel smiled at Monica. She grabbed Monica's arm and pulled her over towards a toy box and pulled out two Barbies, handing one to Monica.

"We have to get them ready for prom. My doll is Lindsey, she's a Rock Star and she's the Homecoming queen. You're Donna. Donna is going on a diet so that she can go to prom and she's Lindsey's best friend and Lindsey will help her diet," Rachel explained.

"Okay," Monica said, just happy to be playing with Rachel in a public area. The two girls sat together and began playing. Rachel narrating the action and Monica just following along.

She noticed him as soon as he walked in. He didn't seem to belong. He was a small boy with a bowl cut and crystal blue eyes. No one else seemed to notice him as he took a seat on the couch and just stared. He looked sad, tired. When Rachel took a break from playing with her to go play with her sisters, Monica took that as her cue. She carefully approached the boy. She would make him feel comfortable. She felt sad for him but she wasn't sure why.

"Hi?"

The boy turned and looked at her. She smiled at him as he looked down at the floor.

"Hi."

"I'm Monica. Who are you?"

"Chandler. I'm-I'm here with Sophie."

"Oh, is she your mom?" Monica asked.

"Sure...yeah, she's my mom," Chandler said.

She didn't know Sophie, the Caterer had a son. He didn't look like Sophie.

"She's pretty. I like to cook too. I baked brownies in my Easy Bake oven yesterday," Monica grinned.

"No, you didn't. You ate the batter before the brownies were done," Ross said.

"Shut up," Monica shot back, still angry. How dare Ross bring up her attempt to make brownies with the new Easy Bake Oven after he had destroyed the first one?

"You did. You didn't wait for the brownies," Ross said.

"Shut up. That's my brother. He's annoying and stupid," Monica said. She hated Ross. She hated him so much. It had been all his fault although she did wonder if the reason he wasn't telling Chandler about the Easy Bake fire was because he felt bad. She could only hope so.

"I am not stupid. I know a lot more than you," Ross said.

"You're still stupid," Monica yelled.

"You know, he didn't say he wasn't annoying. He just said he wasn't stupid," Chandler whispered. Monica's eyes brightened as she looked at him and back at her brother.

"No. You didn't, Ross. Ross, you said you were annoying," Monica squealed.

"No, I didn't," Ross said.

"Yes, you did. Ross admitted he was annoying and-"

"Monica," Rachel screamed. Monica looked towards Rachel who was now playing with Amy and Jill near a doll house.

"What, Rachel?" Monica asked.

"Come here and clean my doll house or I'm gonna tell Mindy that she's gonna be my first best friend and you're going to be my second best friend," Rachel yelled.

"Oh," Monica said, giving Chandler a look. "I have to go."

Monica quickly ran to Rachel's side to begin cleaning the doll house. She wasn't sure Rachel had ever actually publicly declared her as any level of best friend, but she knew one of the rules of being Rachel's secret friend was she could not be considered Rachel's first best friend and in front of family, Monica was the second best friend. It was all so complicated but Monica was happy just to have Rachel as a friend.

She saw him race out of the room. Chandler. He had been standing by her brother and Will and then he ran out of the room. He seemed so scared. She worried about him. She didn't like that he felt bad.

"I'm gonna go find that boy," Monica said.

"What boy?" Rachel asked.

"The one that was sitting on the couch. He seems sad."

"Monica, it's in the rules. You have to do what I say and you need to clean the doll house," Rachel said.

"I'm gonna go um...find that boy. I don't want him to be sad."

"Fine, then you are no longer my friend," Rachel said.

"Is she really your friend?" Amy asked.

"No. Not in real life," Rachel said.

Monica simply nodded and stepped back. It always made her sad that Rachel was mean to her in public, but she knew that was one of the rules of their friendship. In private, Rachel was far nicer. She hoped one day maybe Rachel would be nice to her in public, but she wasn't sure when that would be.

She walked out of the playroom and made her way upstairs to the kitchen. She saw Chandler talking to Sophie. He looked upset as Sophie ran her fingers through his hair.

"Hello?" Monica asked as he jumped and looked at Monica.

"Hi," Chandler said.

"Rachel's being mean to me and told me I couldn't be her friend anymore. So I don't have anyone to play with. Do you wanna play with me?" Monica asked, watching him closely for a reaction. He looked at Sophie and then back at her.

"Okay. Yeah, I'll play with you," Chandler said.

"Great."

Monica grabbed his hand and pulled him out of of the kitchen. She continued dragging him back to the room where all the kids were playing. She dragged him towards a pile of board games, pulled checkers off the top of the pile and began setting it up as they sat across from each other.

"Do you know how to play checkers?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Chandler said.

"So where do you live?" Monica asked.

"Scarsdale."

"What grade are you in?"

"Fifth."

"I'll be in fifth next year. When's your birthday?"

"April 8," Chandler said.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Wow, you ask a lot of questions."

"I'm sorry. I like asking questions. I mean, I know everything about me. I like to know about other people," Monica said. She felt so funny around this boy. She thought he had a pretty smile and pretty eyes, even though he looked so sad.

"Do you like jokes?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay. What did the math book say to the doctor?"

"What?"

"I have a lot of problems."

Monica giggled which made Chandler smile as well.

"That was funny. Tell another one."

Chandler told her lots of jokes as they played. Of course, she was intent on winning and she was but she liked that he was making her laugh. He seemed sweet, nice. She didn't really want him to leave. When they were done playing checkers, they played another board game and continued to talk.

"So what did you do last night?" Monica asked. She noticed he suddenly seemed nervous.

"Oh...my um...my Aunt Nora had a New Years Eve party."

"That sounds fun," Monica said.

"Yeah...it was...it was a real trip," Chandler said. Monica crinkled her nose, confused. "So...Monica, do you want to hear another joke?" He asked.

Monica nodded as Chandler continued. She could not pinpoint this feeling she was having sitting across from this boy. It was as if everything else fell away. She was no longer Rachel's secret friend. Chandler never looked at Rachel, kept his gaze strictly on Monica. It was as if he didn't know. She wasn't the one he was supposed to speak to. She was the ignored one, the secret but Chandler didn't know that because at that moment, with that boy telling her jokes...she felt anything but ignored.

Before he left that day, she decided to give Chandler a friendship bracelet she had made for Rachel. She ran up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and looked at her and she handed it to him.

"What is this?" Chandler asked.

"A friendship bracelet. I had made it for Rachel, but I don't want her to have it anymore. Do you want it?"

"Okay."

"It's so you know that where ever you go, you will always have a friend," Monica grinned.

Chandler smiled as Monica gave him a hug before walking out the door. When he left, she returned to the playroom, that memory of the hug still in her mind. She could not stop thinking of him. Could not stop picturing him. She hoped he was happy, hoped that he'd think of her when he looked at the bracelet.

Rachel had come home with the Geller's to spend the night. Rachel and Monica found themselves in their favorite spot in the pantry, sharing a box of Twinkies. Ross was hanging out with Will in his room and Judy and Jack were in their room. Rachel did not mention the fight they had had...that was yet another rule, anything mean Rachel said to Monica in public could not be mentioned again because Rachel had to be mean in order to keep their friendship a secret although it seemed strange that this rule was still enforced in front of family members.

"So...who was that boy?" Rachel asked.

"Chandler."

"Do you like him?"

"No."

"You played with him the whole time."

"He was nice and I felt sad for him because Ross wasn't playing with him...and he's really funny. He told so many jokes. I didn't even know people knew that many jokes."

"You're gonna marry him," Rachel grinned, taking a bite of a Twinkie.

"I am not going to marry him because we've discussed this. My husband will be named, Matthew and we will have a daughter named, Emma and...and-"

"You're gonna marry him. I bet you a bazillion dollars."

"No because...no...you're wrong Rachel."

"I am not wrong."

"You are wrong. You're gonna marry Ross," Monica said.

"Ewww, no...and besides, he burned your Easy Bake down and got you in trouble so I don't like Ross," Rachel said which made Monica happy. She had told Rachel about how Ross had burned down the oven by putting in those bulbs and she was happy Rachel believed her. In secret, Rachel always believed her.

Back at school, Monica could not stop thinking about that boy. Chandler. She wondered if he was in school. She wondered if he still had that bracelet. She was sitting alone on the playground in her typical spot when Ross stormed over to her.

"What did you do to my desk?" Ross asked.

"What?" Monica asked.

"You filled it with honey and dental floss, that's not funny Monica," Ross said.

"I didn't do anything to your desk."

"Liar."

"I didn't...I..." Monica stopped as she noticed Rachel behind Ross sitting at a table with Nancy, Sharon and Mindy. Rachel was staring at her, grinning. Was it possible? When lunch was over, she walked into the classroom and towards her desk. She noticed a folded up paper in her pencil box. She opened the box and unfolded the note. In Rachel's writing it said, "I thought Ross could use some dental floss...and honey-your secret sister". She looked up at Rachel who was smiling at her. Monica mouthed, "thanks" to which Rachel simply nodded her head. Maybe in public she would always be Rachel's second best friend but she had a feeling in private, she was Rachel's only friend.