2 - ELEPHANT IN A SUIT


Harvey discovered new meanings to the words 'self-inflicted torture'. It involved spending hours in Louis's company, hoping to uncover a tiny shred of information about Donna's blind date. Not only had Harvey subjected himself to hours of Shakespeare, mudding, and cat talk, he'd also had to bite back his retort at every ridiculous alias Louis used for himself. If his willingness to kill his ears and atrophy his brain with Litt-ism wasn't proof of how much he 'cared' for Donna, he didn't know what else would be. Just when Harvey was on the verge of giving up, the call bearing his enlightenment came.

Next to Harvey, Louis excitedly answered his phone. "Please tell me he agreed. (pause) Yes! (fist pump. pause) Where? (pause) Masato's at 7.30. (pause) She'll be there!"

Following the conversation, Harvey noted that Donna would be having her date at an outrageously expensive Japanese restaurant downtown. From how happy Louis sounded, the mysterious man also appeared to be a winner too. His speculations were confirmed as soon as Louis hung up the phone.

"Guess what?" Louis asked, his chest puffed out with pride.

"You are the real Doctor Strange," Harvey answered jadedly. He meant no insult to the superhero, but after hours of verbal suppression, he had to quip back somehow. And the literal name seemed so fitting for Louis and his oddities.

"Ha-ha. Whatever, Harvey. I'm in such a good mood that I won't even hold it against you." Louis took a deep breath, pointed to himself and exclaimed, "It's official! Call me the God of Love because I'm about to Litt-Up Donna's date. The guy I found for Donna is a friend of a friend who looks…Harvey, you should see this guy. He's simply A-MA-ZING and comes with such glowing recommendations…"

Louis was still talking, but Harvey wasn't comprehending a single word. For one, the other man had given himself a creepy alias again, and there was no way in hell that Harvey would ever call Louis the God of Anything. More importantly, he'd gotten what he came for - a time and place for Donna's date. His poor ears were already crying tears of relief, bidding an end to this self-inflicted torture.

"Oh, I think I'm supposed to be somewhere else…doing something else," Harvey interrupted and rudely walked away.

Louis was feeling so pleased with himself that he wasn't even offended by the brush off. "I'm telling you, Harvey. I kicked ass! I'm off to share the excellent news with Donna."

Harvey pretended not to hear, his mind weirdly filled with images of sashimis. He was also feeling various degrees of annoyance as he started for Mike's office, needing an ally of sorts.

Mike was scribbling on a notepad when Harvey cut right to the chase. "Thursday, 7.30 P.M. Masato's. Wear a damn suit."

The junior partner opened and closed his mouth a few times, deciding his next words. He finally settled on the most logical one. "Why?"

"We need to see someone."

A meaningless answer. 'Someone' was Donna, but Harvey decided he wouldn't say anything until he had to. For now, he'd let Mike believe they were meeting a client because he wasn't in the mood to explain anything.

"Okay?" Mike studied Harvey's stoic face for a moment. "Is this where I pretend that I'm not curious, and then you parade away quietly, trying to look all cool and suave?"

"Not trying. And I. Never. Parade." Harvey stuck both hands in his pockets, turned around, and strode out of the workplace.

Faintly, he heard Mike chuckle and yell from behind, "Grandpa's got swag!"

Wonderful. Another elderly joke. Harvey decided to let this one go. There were more important matters that warranted his attention - an important woman to be exact.


"Why are we here again?" Mike mumbled as he flipped through the menu, disturbed by the high prices.

"Just order. I'm paying," Harvey said as he search around the restaurant. It was already 7.35 P.M., but Donna was no where to be seen.

Typical, Harvey recalled. Back in the DA days, she'd once preached the Donna-ism of Dating to Harvey. It dictated that she showed up at least fifteen minutes late on first dates because 'there's no way I am going to let him see me waiting for him' - her own words. She'd reasoned that it was a sign of a woman's desperation. He had stared at Donna like she'd sprouted two heads and countered that the Harvey-ism of Dating dictated that he would bail if the woman was late on their first date. They'd agreed to disagree.

Harvey covertly studied every single male occupant seated at a table set for two. She could be joining any of them. Putting his Sherlock skills to use, he made mental notes on each one.

Too much gel. Sniffs loudly. Yikes, a ponytail. Hell, a nose ring? In a prestigious restaurant – seriously? Okay, distracted…next…Too beardy. Clothes too fitting.

Harvey knew he shouldn't judge people based on first impressions, but he also read people for a living. Instinctively, he could tell that none of these men were going to interest Donna.

Muttering under his breath, Harvey chided himself - he should have known better than to trust Louis's judgment. "Simply A-MA-ZING, my ass."

"Huh? Did you say something?"

"Nevermind."

Harvey realized he had nothing to worry about. Wait – worry? No, he came to make sure Donna's date was good enough for her. This unimpressive turnout should have disappointed him.

Secretly though, he was feeling oddly relieved. Harvey dropped the menu onto the table. "I made a mistake. I remembered the date wrong. Let's finish our drinks and get out of here."

Oblivious to the real purpose of their visit, Mike smirked. "Did you know that a muddy memory is a sign of aging? When's your birthday? I'm buying you one of those dictaphones that Louis worships. You two can be Dicta-bros - ooh, that can totally be the name of your club."

"Old jokes again. How original! You can stay if you want. Without this old man, let's see if Puppy can afford this place."

Years in the firm and Mike still couldn't get rid of his nickname. Even being promoted to junior partner hadn't made a difference. He was still 'Puppy'.

"Hell no! I don't even like Sushi," Mike lied. He loved it so much that he'd been willing to blindly accompany Harvey to this dinner.

While Harvey gave his credit card to the waiter and asked for the check, across the table, Mike's eyes suddenly widened with interest. As if in a hypnotized state, he sighed, "Woah…"

The junior partner looked so riveted that Harvey couldn't help but turn to see for himself.

A tall, broad-shouldered man had just entered the restaurant. He wore a severe all black suit - even his shirt and tie were black - and moved with a confident edge. His thick copper hair was styled in a fashionable undercut, and though it contrasted with his thick-rimmed nerd glasses, put together, it gave him an air of urbane sophistication. He sported a tidy goatee, and with high cheekbones and a defined jawline, the man looked like he'd walked out of a GQ magazine photoshoot. When he flashed his winning smile at the waitress, he charmed her without even having to say anything.

If this was Donna's date, then 'woah' was definitely the right reaction. Harvey was feeling rankled when it got worse. Well, from Donna's point of view, it probably just got more perfect.

"Pardon me, I called earlier about arriving ten minutes late. I have a table reserved for two," GQ said to the waitress, his deep voice traveled clearly across the room.

Great. GQ had a classy British accent, inevitably adding to his intrigue factor. It meant he was absolutely going to sweep Donna off her feet. Or not. Harvey held on to the last string of hope that GQ, fashionable spawn of Bond, might not be her date after all.

When the waitress seated GQ at the far corner, Mike mindlessly blurted, "He's so dreamy…"

Harvey whirled around to give the junior partner a death stare. Mike suddenly realized his ogling had long left the Land of Awe to the Land of Disturbing. He cleared his throat once and attempted to justify himself. "Uh, I was just appreciating him purely from a man's perspective. Like how a man thinks another man looks very manly type of manly thoughts."

"Yes, say 'man' more. It's definitely helping," Harvey inserted sarcastically, his eyes narrowed into thin slits. He knew Mike didn't harbor any romantic interest, but this was revenge for all those age jokes he'd had to put up with.

Under Harvey's scrutiny, Mike sheepishly stood up. "I'll be right back. Let me call Rachel. Maybe it'll help me get in touch with my masculinity for a bit." With that, Mike left the table to shake off his embarrassment.

The check came and just as Harvey was about to sign it, a slight movement by the entrance caught his eye.

Donna.

She was in a sleek black dress that showed off her red hair, styled in a simple classic wave. Everything about her radiated exquisiteness. Work Donna had always been beautiful. Date Donna was breathtakingly elegant. For a moment, Harvey couldn't look away. He almost forgot himself when Donna's gaze wandered across the restaurant, searching for her date. Harvey quickly angled back, trying his best to hide from her. When he dared to look again, the waitress had already guided Donna to her table.

Damn it. It was GQ's table.

GQ stood to greet Donna. They exchanged a few words before he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. He gestured forward and pulled out a chair for her. Donna smiled shyly and nodded her thanks, unmistakably charmed by the chivalry. The vision of GQ-the-gentleman making a very good first impression had Harvey unconsciously gripping the corners of the table.

Mike returned at that moment, unaware of Harvey's internal frustrations. "Okay, Harvey. I'm ready. Let's go eat somewhere else. I'm starving. How about we go to that diner-"

"Sit," Harvey gritted out.

"But...I don't understand..."

With one look at Harvey's expression, Mike sat down obediently. The poor kid had to be confused at Harvey's bipolar behavior. Maybe he should get himself checked for it because all evening, Harvey was anything but emotionally stable. Oddly, he was also unable to tear his gaze away from Donna and her date.

Mike turned to see what Harvey was glaring at and finally understood what the entire evening was about. Dramatically, he said, "Ahhh. And the mystery is solved. Please allow me to savor this very rare and sacred moment."

"Mike, stop staring at your man crush."

The junior partner ignored Harvey's orders, bowed his head, shut his eyes and brought his hands together in prayer. "To my guardian angels. Thank you for letting me live to see the day Harvey Specter is out-suited, out-haired…" Mike opened one eye to sneak a peek at Harvey before continuing, "and out-jawed by another man."

Right. Harvey's jawline had always been a point of fascination for Mike. Harvey never dared to ask why, and he absolutely didn't want to ponder over it.

"Shut up," Harvey grumbled, crossing his arms as he slumped back into the chair. It was bad enough that he had to tolerate Mike's elderly jokes. After tonight, he was never going to hear the end of this.

Unexpectedly, however, Mike sobered and asked in a more helpful tone, "What do we do now?" When Harvey's brow knitted together, he added, "What? You brought me here as your wingman, right? So tell me, what's our grand plan?"

Harvey shook his head once. "No grand plan. I came to make sure Louis didn't set her up with a douchebag. It's a blind date, so you never know."

To be honest, GQ didn't look anything close to a 'douchebag'. He seemed like the perfect gentleman. Moreover, he could even potentially be right for Donna. As much as Harvey hated to admit, at bare minimum, GQ was a match for her in the 'attractive' department. All of a sudden, Harvey wished Louis had set Donna up with ponytail or nose-ring guy. He would have left this place long before now.

Mike stood up with renewed enthusiasm. "Then, let's do that. Let's go check this guy out and see if he's decent. I mean he looks good enough. Ahem. Once again, purely an objective appreciation on my part. But looks can be deceiving, right? He might be a serial killer…or a mob…or a spy…or a CEO of a successful startup…or a billionaire…or a duke…"

"Not helping," Harvey interjected. Those latter descriptors combined with GQ's looks would be impossible for Donna to resist.

"Relax, Harvey. I'm on your side. We'll go introduce ourselves and find out about him." Mike lowered his head, as if he was about to share a secret. "Besides, if Donna's date goes well with that guy, I'll lose my money. I've got high stakes on 'Darvey' in the office betting pool."

"What the hell is Darv-?" Harvey halted mid-word as realization quickly dawned upon him. "That's not why I'm here. I'm carrying out my due diligence as Donna's friend."

Mike eyed Harvey skeptically. "Okay...then, why are you still sitting there? We should go do your friend thing now."

Seeing there was nothing to lose, Harvey eventually consented. As they headed towards Donna's table, he realized Mike looked too cheerful for his own good, an eager bounce in his gait. When he caught sight of Mike's full teeth grin, Harvey wasn't sure if he'd just signed up for trouble or help. Keeping his voice low and firm, he warned, "Mike, behave."


As soon as Donna saw them approaching, her lips pulled back into a tight smile. She was clearly unhappy to see them. Then again, what right-minded woman would remain pleasant knowing that her date was about to take a disastrous turn?

Mike took the honors of breaking the ice. "Donna! I can't believe we ran into you here of all places."

Subtlety? None. Harvey took a deep breath, resisting his urge to intervene. He was equal parts nervous and curious at what Mike had up his sleeves. At that over-the-top greeting, both GQ and Donna rose to their feet. While GQ gave them a pleasant nod, Donna's eyes bore violently into Harvey's. He responded with an artless smile.

Ever the loyal self-appointed wingman, Mike saved Harvey from being 'eyed-to-death' by playing the etiquette card. "Who's your friend, Donna? Please! Introduce us!"

At Mike's shameless prompt, Donna remembered her manners and made the necessary introductions.

"This is Mike Ross, a junior partner at my law firm. And he loves it when people call him Puppy." GQ's eyes widened with disbelief but was polite enough to force a smile as Mike choked at the unexpected foreword. As usual, Donna was deadly when it came to verbal revenge. Harvey was contemplating how sad his fate would be when she gestured towards him. "This is Harvey Specter, one of the managing partners at Pearson Specter Litt, Mike's mentor, and also my boss. I work as his assistant."

Harvey slowly relaxed, thankful that Donna had not embarrassed him in front of the stranger.

"Mike. Harvey. This is Alistair Kavanagh. Aside from his name, I know nothing else about him because...you two came over," Donna bit out and grinned daggers at the both of them.

Alistair Kavanagh. Even GQ's name screamed blue blood. Hell. Royal hell.

Harvey quickly reminded himself that GQ's presumed royalty was supposed to be a positive thing for Donna. He should be glad for her. It seemed, however, 'should' was not his strong front tonight. Before he could shake off the uncomfortable debate inside him, Donna's date extended a hand towards Harvey.

"It's nice to meet you. You can call me Al."

"Harvey." He shook Al's hand and exchanged a few polite words. Once Al turned his attention to Mike, Donna inched closer to Harvey and spoke in a volume that only he could hear, "Go away." Harvey didn't budge. If Donna wanted to get rid of him, she was going to have to say it out loud. And then, of course, she did. "Harvey. May I have a quick word with you?" She swiveled to address Al. "I forgot to brief Harvey on something he will need tomorrow. I'll be right back. Mike will keep you company in the meantime."

Harvey hoped by 'something he will need', she didn't mean his life. Because if eyes could scorch, Donna was going to burn him into ashes the instant they were alone. Next to them, Mike nodded amiably, afraid to provoke the redhead with his smart mouth again. She grabbed Harvey's elbow and dragged him away to a safe distance where their conversation would not be overheard.

"What the hell, Harvey? And save me the bullshit about this whole situation being a coincidence."

Donna didn't sound too angry. She was mostly…displeased. Too tired to keep track of lies, fake reasons, and fronts, Harvey didn't bother to fabricate an excuse. "I heard about your blind date. I came to see if he's good enough."

Donna sighed. "On a first date? It's not like I'm marrying him tomorrow."

"It's a dangerous world. We know nothing about the man, except that he's from another country. And the fact that Mike has a crush on him."

They both turned to watch Mike and Al, currently engaged in a very animated conversation.

"Mike, really? Poor Rachel," Donna said wryly. For a moment, she forgot about interrogating Harvey.

"It's an infatuation. I don't think Mike would pose any serious threat. That is...if you're worried about competition," Harvey teased. "But if you leave them alone for too long, anything can happen."

Donna's expression turned solemn again when she faced him once more. "Come on, Harvey. Be serious. This looks like a promising date, and you're ruining it."

Promising date. He hid a frown, not wanting to acknowledge his disappointment. Donna deserved a good time and honestly, his first impressions of Al wasn't bad at all. He'd come to do his duty and since she'd judged the candidate as a 'promising date', his deed was undoubtedly done.

Silencing the protest his mind was flagging, Harvey conceded, "We'll leave. But promise to call me if...you need anything, okay?"

He'd wanted to say 'if something goes wrong', but it would have sounded like he was jinxing her date. He had no such intention.

Donna reluctantly agreed, "I will. Thank you. I know you mean well."

Harvey offered her a faint smile. "Just...don't tell him everything. You're an amazing woman, Donna. You deserve a man who really sees you. Someone who will fight for you. So make the man work for it, alright?"

With a playful wink, Harvey headed on to fetch Mike. Only when he reached the table did he realize Donna had not followed back. She was probably still unhappy about their interruption and it was best he got Mike out of there fast so her date could continue.

"Mike, we've got work to do. Let's go." The junior partner stood, catching on to Harvey's excuse to leave. In the spur of the moment, Harvey felt the need to do one more thing. He offered his hand to Donna's date again. "We're leaving. Again, it was nice to meet you, Al." When they shook hands, Harvey bent forward and threatened softly, "If you hurt her, you'll answer to me."

Pulling his hand back, Harvey plastered a sunny smile on his face, as if they were discussing the weather or the color of the tablecloth.

Across him, Al momentarily went motionless before responding, "Of course. It was nice to meet you, too."

On their way out, they crossed paths with Donna once more. Mike patted her on the shoulder. "See you, Donna. Have a good time. Harvey, I'll go and ask Ray to bring the car over," Mike said before walking out the restaurant.

Harvey lingered behind, realizing Donna was looking at him…differently? Expectantly? Confusedly? He couldn't even find the right adjective to describe it. "Are you okay?"

She swallowed, her shoulders stiff. "Yes. I'm fine."

Donna didn't seem 'fine', the quiet confidence Harvey witnessed earlier was gone. Thinking she was nervous about the date, he decided to put her at ease with one of their usual rituals - the one where he offered her unwanted advice.

"If he turns out to be an asshole, knee him in the groin. Hard. Remember what I taught you."

Donna had learned a few self-defense moves from Harvey. He'd insisted it when they'd worked on a disturbing rape case a few years ago. At the off-hand comment, the corners of her lips turned up, and a sense of familiarity was restored between them.

"Leave, Harvey. I don't need your dating advice."

"Who said anything about you needing them? I needed to give them for my own peace of mind. You know? So I can say 'I told you so' later." After the jest, he said in a more genuine manner, "Actually, I don't ever want to have to say that to you if I can help it. Enjoy the date, Donna. I hope Al turns out to be a good one."

He didn't have to like her date, but he would never wish anything less than happiness for Donna.

See, Louis? He really did care.


While standing outside the restaurant and waiting for Ray to pick them up, Mike kept babbling on and on about his new friend.

"Did you know that Al's an Executive Creative Director at Stance and Smith? It's one of the top three advertising agencies in the world! How cool is that? He just got transferred here from London six months ago. His work is mind-blowing. You remember that ad with the dog on the rollercoaster…"

Dogs on rollercoasters…seriously? Harvey wasn't listening anymore, almost expiring with boredom. It was one thing to think about Donna dating the man. Hearing about Al's legacy was not something he cared for. He was so relieved when the car pulled up, thinking it was the end of GQ's audio biography. As soon as they settled inside, Mike's admiration for the man continued to bludgeon Harvey's eardrums.

"I get it. He's your new idol," Harvey cut in blandly.

"Awww. Don't be jealous. You'll always be my number one guy," Mike teased. There was a brief moment of silence that Harvey gratefully embraced. One that lasted for only fifteen seconds before Mike broke it again. "What did you say to Al? When you two shook hands, he actually went pale."

Harvey glanced out the window, uncertain what the sensible response was. Honestly, he didn't know what came over him, issuing a possessive threat like that. He'd never done it before but back there in the restaurant, he couldn't stop himself. Now, he wasn't sure if it had been appropriate at all. Sensing Mike's stare still trained on him, Harvey decided to make something silly up. "Nothing important. I told him that New York City has elephants."

His inane answer was met with silence, and Harvey thought that was the end of the topic. Maybe Mike was smart enough to let matters go. Maybe not.

"Right...and I'm in a car with one. Wearing an expensive suit, too," Mike said. Harvey wasn't sure, but he thought he heard the kid mumbling, "Denial, denial."

"Shut up, Puppy."


A/N (aka. Author's Nonsense): I couldn't resist having Mike address the elephant in the room - well, in the car to be literally correct. Yay! Score ONE for Puppy! The next chapter is titled 'Dawn and Harby' - just in case you're in the mood to guess where the story is going. Thank you for reading and reviewing.