Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
"Hey...Mama Lynn? Mama...Come on, wake up. Papa wants you to come to breakfast. ...Wake up!"
The screaming voice scares me enough that I fall off the bed I was peacefully sleeping in and earning me a new head pain from hitting the cold stone floor.
"Ow..."
"Mama's up! Time to eat."
"Ugh...What time is it?"
"Eating time. Now come on...Papa's waiting."
Oh right...Bowser. In sleep, I had forgotten much of the past day. I have been mistakenly abducted by idiots thinking I was Princess Peach and now am under the servitude of the King of Koopas, Bowser. I am allowed to leave his rule, but only once a debt is paid by taking care of his son, Bowser Jr., who seems to be fond of calling me his mom.
"*sighs into a yawn* Okay dear, I'm up. I don't want to be up, but you have bested me. You win."
He is overjoyed.
"Woo-hoo!"
Suddenly he leaps on me, bouncing with boundless energy.
"Let's go, Mama!"
"Okay-okay...*yawns*"
I pick him up as I stand and he crawls his way to perch himself on my shoulders, gripping my ponytail like horse reigns.
"Uh...What are you up to Jr.?"
"Mama's new here, right? I'm gonna help you find Papa."
He yanks hard and I snarl in shock.
"Go that way!"
Oh, kid, you are so lucky I can't hurt you or you'd be turtle soup. I swallow my pride and obey the boy, but I do so on my own terms. Playing around with this role he made me, I pretend to be a Yoshi and he loves it.
"Almost there Mama."
"Yoshi."
"Oh look, a guard...Chase him!"
"Yoshi!"
"Aaah!"
This looks completely nuts but I can't stop from laughing at it all. Jr. has me running around, messing with people, and all while I say only 'Yoshi'. This continues for some time till we end up sliding on the shell of a Buzzy Beetle into a room and hopping off to avoid crashing into a pillar. Poor thing bounces around a bit before pin balling out the room.
"Well I see you two are getting along. That's good."
We look over and see Bowser seated at a fancy table.
"Hi, Papa. I told you I'd find Mama."
Bowser just gives me a funny look.
"Mama?"
I shrug.
"Yoshi."
Jr. pets my head.
"Good Mama."
"Yoshi!"
Jr. snickers and hops off me, allowing me to stand up straight with a few loud spine pops.
"I thought you didn't get along with kids?"
I guess Bowser is going to start early on messing with me. I'm in no shape for that.
"I don't see a kid. Jr. is very mature for his age."
"...He rode you like a Yoshi and is calling you mama."
"Your point?"
"That's something a kid does!"
"Papa, be nice to Mama Lynn."
"Thank you, sweetie."
Bowser's jaw drops and now I'm grinning.
"In less than a day you've turned my own son against me."
"You know what the sad part of that is? It wasn't intentional or that hard."
He glares before smirking.
"You're cute when you're bad."
Caught off guard but not wanting to lose face, I ignore the remark, but the faint color dusting my cheeks reveals all, which he enjoys.
"Come Lynsie. Come sit with your King."
"Bite me."
"Don't tempt me."
"Mama! Papa! Don't fight!"
Jr.'s eyes water slightly and I break.
"Oh no, sweetie, please don't cry. We weren't fighting. That's just a game we play. I swear."
"It's not nice to swear Mama. *snickers*"
I'm stunned as this little boy just played me for a laugh. His father enjoys the show and I crack a smile.
"Well played young Prince. Well played indeed."
"*giggles* Next time don't make it so easy, Mama."
"Never underestimate a member of the royal Koopa line. We are masters in the art of deception."
"Then by that logic, I should not believe you as that too can be a deceptive con. But perhaps that's just what you want me to think. Or making me think that is the true goal. Or maybe you're just messing with me for a laugh because watching someone over think simple things is hilarious."
He points to his snout and I chuckle.
"I'm not surprised there."
Jr. takes my hand suddenly and drags me over to a chair by his father.
"Mama sits here."
"Jr. dear, this isn't necessary."
"What's wrong, Lynsie? Afraid I'll bite?"
"Bowser..."
"What did I tell you? You don't get to call me by name."
"And why not?"
"Yeah, Papa. You call Mama by her name. Why can't she say your name?"
"It's a formality son. Your 'mama' has to earn it."
"Hark, did anyone else hear that? It's the sound of your chair about to break under the weight of your massive ego."
What the hell is wrong with me?! I have no reason to be like this! Stop before something happens!
Yet to my surprise the King merely chuckles.
"Little spitfire, burning ever brighter."
He nudges the chair by him out with his foot.
"Sit...Please."
Okay, if he's going to be civil than I can be nice and return the gesture.
"Thank you, my King."
A smile creeps to his features as I take my seat. Jr. seeing the moment of pleasantry between us, he happily takes the other seat beside his father. With us seated, Bowser rings a bell and a Dry Bones wanders in.
Dry Bones are bony, skeletal, dried out, undead, Koopa Troopas that mainly are found in towers and castles. These undead Koopas often collapse when attacked, but they soon revive themselves and become normal once again, however there are some methods to permanently kill them. All Dry Bones are be capable of rebuilding their bodies after being hurt. This outstanding process takes place only a few seconds after being crumbled. However, one can defeat a Dry Bones for good but it takes magic, bombs, ice flowers, a Penguin suit, shell collision, or the possession of a Invincibility Star to do so. You can also break them and knock a body part off to a lower ledge or lava, but the remains won't stay gone permanently.
"Sire?"
"Send in the food."
"Yes, sire."
It leaves and moments later, cart after cart is rolled in then emptied on the table before us. I'm amazed at the amount of food. And this is just breakfast?! This is nuts!
"Anything else, sire?"
"This is fine."
"Thank you, sire."
The staff leave and I don't know where to even begin. The father and son pair, however, dig in like there is no tomorrow. I'd probably be disgusted by this if I weren't so logical. Judging by Bowser's size, he has to ingest a massive amount to maintain his metabolism. Jr. is a still growing child, his body mass is constantly in need of fuel as it continues to expand but does have a top off limit. He can't eat as much as Bowser, but someday in the future, he will.
"Is something wrong Mama?"
I blush, having been caught staring.
"No dear, all is fine. I was just lost in thought is all. Sorry if I worried you even the slightest."
"Heh heh...Mama's silly."
I don't have much of an appetite when I first wake up, my own fault for not eating as much as I should. But if being under the thumb of the Koopa Royals allows me to indulge maybe it wouldn't hurt to enjoy what I can. I pull a few goodies to my plate and sink my teeth into such a delicious start of the day.
"So Jr..."
"Yes, Papa?"
"What did you and 'mama' do yesterday?"
"Oh! Mama taught me about the ways I can become King."
This earns me a look from him as I drink some punch.
"Did she now?"
"Yeah! And then she told me the stuff a King does. Papa, why didn't you tell me it could be so boring?"
"...What did you tell him?"
"I merely informed the young Prince that being a King was a lot more work than it is fun. Sure, you go out and 'capture' Peach. But how do you pay for it? How do you compensate those that helped to get her? There's a lot of administrative work to be done and taxes to collect. Not to mention the whole listen to the people portion of things..."
"I fell asleep when she got to that part."
"Afterword's, I tucked the boy in bed and Kamek showed me to my own resting zone. Twas uneventful to say the least."
"Oh! I'm sorry for hitting you in the face with my ball."
"...Apart from that, it was uneventful. And I forgive you, dear."
"Oh. So that explains the shiner."
I tilt my head and he points to my eye. Feeling my right does nothing, but feeling the left makes me wince a little.
"Ow..."
Jr. shrinks into his shell a little, afraid I'm upset.
"Eh. It was an accident. No harm was done."
"So...You're not mad, Mama?"
"Hmmm? Oh, no sweetie. I've been hit worse. It'll take more than a ball to the face to hurt me."
"Don't tell Lemmy. Okay, son? You wouldn't want this 'mama' to run away, do you?"
"My King, please don't be mean and tease the Prince."
"*sniffles* Mama's not gonna run away, is she?"
"See? Now, look what you did."
"Jr., I didn't mean it! Lynsie isn't going anywhere. Right Lynsie?"
"Yep. I'm stuck here."
"R-Really? *sniffs* So...Mario isn't gonna steal you away?"
I scoff and lean back in my chair.
"That guy? Please...Don't give him credit like that. No one knows I'm here and I'm not a Princess. I won't show up on his radar to 'rescue' even if I set off fireworks that scream 'please save me'."
"I won't let him take Mama Lynn away! Mario's a bully, he never fights fair!"
"Says the boy with a literal army and militia at his command."
I take another sip as he jumps on the table.
"I mean it! Mario is a bad man! He's always picking on Papa and me. If he even tries to steal you, I'll...I'll...I guess I'll just whup him myself!"
"Gwah ha ha ha! That's my boy! Well, put, son."
I feel weird about this. Something in me stirs and I don't understand this feeling.
"Awww...Don't worry Mama. I won't let Mario get that close."
"Not if he knows what's good for him. Right son?"
"Right Papa."
This feeling...I don't like it. I don't understand it and it's making me confused. I don't like it. And my internal struggle of this feeling can be seen by the company around me.
"Mama? Mama, are you okay?"
"I...I don't know."
"Jr...Allow 'mama' and I to have a moment."
"Ewww! You're not gonna be gross and kiss are you?"
That makes me snort a laugh and Bowser blushes in a fluster.
"No! No, I just want to talk to her."
Jr. smirks.
"Yeah. You'd rather kiss Mama Peach~."
The great and fearsome King Koopa is made into a blushing fool by his own adolescent son...Truly priceless.
"L-Leave the room Jr. and I'll get you that new video game system you wanted."
"*gasp* Yes! I love you, Papa!"
Jr. scampers off and once the doors are closed Bowser turns to me.
"Kids, right?"
"Yeah..."
"You seem troubled."
"I'm just confused."
"About what?"
"I...I don't get why he would defend me."
"Jr.?"
"Yeah. We've only just met and yet he spoke with such true passion. I just can't wrap my head around it. Maybe he sees me as a possession he doesn't want to be taken? But then there's the whole 'mama' thing. He referred to Peach as 'mama', so maybe it's just a female thing? I don't know."
My brain is working hard on trying to make sense of this so much so that smoke would likely be coming out of my ears, yet Bowser just looks at me with a playful smile.
"How funny. Kammy once told me that the mind of a maiden is rather complicated. Now I see it's true."
"Do not mock me."
"But teasing you is so amusing."
"*growl* If you are going to say something, then have it make sense for me so I don't lose my mind trying to figure this out!"
My little snap is but a taste of boiling anger. When I can't understand something, I try to figure it out, and when I can't do so it messes with me. It annoys me. I get warmer and warmer, to the point I'm hot with madness. The littlest thing will set me off and I hate it. I don't like being that way, which makes me even worse. And he can sense it too. My entire vibe is changing. He has to do something or have a mad woman raising hell in his home.
"*sigh* Okay, just calm down and I'll try to help you. Can you do that without flipping the table?"
Not like I could even if I wanted to. This thing must weight a ton or two.
"...Fine."
I huff through my nose a few times and slowly drink till I feel a bit better.
"Please...Tell me what you know...My King."
Using his title lets him know I'm better, so he takes a drink for himself and readies his words.
"My boy...He idolizes me and strives to be like me. Sometimes he challenges me in little games to test himself by comparison, but aside from a few instances of a father-son rivalry, we share a close bond. We partner up in various sports and things, and he aids me in many of my plots."
"In all fairness sir, I can see that. Watching the two of you, reading about you and other things...It's almost painfully obvious that a son will want to be like his father. Plus you're the only parent he has. It's not like he can latch onto his mother."
A low rumble escapes him as a warning.
"Watch your tongue or you won't have it for long."
"Sorry. It's the crankiness talking. I hate being like this."
"But you are right. While I care for my son, my selfishness and single-minded determination to defeat Mario occasionally leads me to treat Jr. like a minion, and when he's wrapped up in one of my plans I have a tendency not to listen to what he has to say. *deep sigh* I think this type of thing stems from raising him alone. Taking care of a child and a Kingdom at the same time...It gets hard to separate the two lives without help, you know?"
"Yeah. I can see that. Eventually the two merge. Your family becomes hard to distinguish from subjects, but makes it easier to detach yourself from feeling the worst about things involving them."
"So true. Before Jr., I would treat the Koopalings like my children. They still call me King Dad."
"That's...That's rather sweet."
"But then Jr. entered my life, the Koopalings got pushed aside and now fight for my attention. Heck, I'm so bad at this father stuff I even told Jr. that Peach was his mother when he kept asking me where she was. I felt so guilty about it. I came clean to him, but he knew it was a lie all along and willingly went along with it because he wanted to fight alongside me regardless of it. I was so proud in that moment. It revealed his deep loyalty and love for me. It was then I swore to be better for him. I'm very protective of my boy and I become enraged whenever Jr. is harmed in any way."
"Very understandable."
"But I know I still can't do this on my own. Jr. needs a mother. I think aside from my goals, he's also motivated to kidnap Princess Peach because of his own affection for her, and the fact he continues to call her 'mama' just further suggests he wishes she really was his mother."
"So you think he's projecting this mother need onto Peach because, well let's face that easy one, you want her. So, in turn, he does too."
"Sounds about right."
"But where do I fit into this mommy picture?"
He scans me up and down.
"You remind him of her."
I'm confused.
"How? Based on what you said yesterday, I'm the farthest thing from your sweet Peachy."
"*snort* You are. If Peach is the sun, then you are a black hole. But I didn't mean in looks. There's this spark about you. It's nice. Warm even. It feels like the kindness Peach gives off. This sense of care..."
I can't help but blush and when he notices he looks away embarrassed while rubbing the back of his head.
"But I'm just guessing there. Like I said, you aren't Peach."
My curiosity is peaked.
"Can I ask a personal question?"
"Uh...I guess so."
"Do you love her?"
He pales.
"W-What?"
"The way you speak about her, the constant kidnapping, the lack of evil towards her...It just seems that you might be harboring some strong feelings for her. So is it love, infatuation, a crush even?"
"Uh...You do realize that's a very personal question to ask."
"I know. And you don't have to say anything."
"Wh...Really?"
"Sure. I'll just ask Jr.. I'm sure he'll spill such juicy secrets."
His jaw drops and I smile all too innocently.
"That's a cruel and rotten way to get me to talk...and I love it!"
I giggle as he finishes his drink.
"Ah, Princess Peach. Such a complex thing we have between us. Initially, I started abducting Peach to prevent her from restoring the transformed Toads back to normal so to make taking over her Kingdom much easier. Fewer people, less hassle."
"Makes sense."
"When that didn't work, I switched tactics. I tried and failed to marry Peach, gaining control in a political way. However, I didn't see these moments having such an effect on me. I began to develop an unrequited crush on the princess. It's a bit embarrassing to say, but I was starting to hope that Peach would like me if we spent enough time together. Ultimately, this usually leads me to attempt to forcefully marry her."
"Daww...In a crazy way that sounds adorable."
He tries to hide his growing blush.
"My most carefully preserved memory is of Peach showing me kindness. But despite my feelings, I uh, heh, actually show very little regard for her happiness and well-being, what with the constant kidnappings, attacks on her kingdom, and fights the people she cares about. You know, the small stuff."
I nod while biting my tongue so I don't bust out laughing.
"I may have also put Peach herself in danger a few numerous times, either inadvertently or on purpose. But that was only because the Princess herself faced me in combat. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Lose? Now that's just crazy. Oh! There was this one time we were wed by Count Bleck and Nastasia as part of the former's plan to unleash the Chaos Heart. While I regard the marriage as official and happily refer to Peach as my wife, she refutes my claims and called the wedding a sham. She didn't even return my affection at all that day and I was a perfect gentleman too. No-no, I don't want to be that guy that rags on his lady behind her back. Despite that, she's still willing to work with me when the situation calls for it, and will even sweet-talk, flatter, and show me genuine goodwill or concern when we are acting as allies."
I ponder on his words.
"So? What do you think?"
"...I think you really like her. I think what you're feeling is real. But I'm not so sure your feelings can become anything more than this possessive attraction you have now."
He scrunches his brow and rests his chin on his hand.
"Oh? Do tell how you've come to that idea."
"Okay, but just so you know, this is all based on things I've read and from what you've told me. I'm no Peach expert."
"Clearly."
Okay...Now I don't feel so bad for him.
"While you do repeatedly kidnapped Peach and invaded her kingdom, both out of a megalomaniac desire to rule the world, but it's also because you've fallen in for her. While Peach initially discovered your feelings for her by reading your diary..."
"She told people that?!"
"She had the moment published in a book called Mario's Story. She writes about all her 'adventures' and has them made into books to be sold the world over. How else do you think I know so much?"
His eye twitches but I continue.
"Since then, you have become quite upfront about your crush, such as attempting to get her to kiss you in public after winning one of those tennis tournaments and becoming enraged whenever other villains kidnap her. You've even told your son that Peach was his mother, and while it was later revealed that Jr. knew it was a lie all along, he went along with it anyway and even continues to refer to her as 'mama' out of his own affection for her. Now while it is true that Peach did marry you willingly, it wasn't really so as Nastasia uses mind control to force her in order to fulfill the ancient prophecy. This is why Peach considers the wedding a sham and refuses to acknowledge it, even if you insist on calling her your wife even as you teamed up to defeat Count Bleck, the marriage is technically null and void. And deep down I think you already know this. Why else do you still attempt to marry the unwilling Peach if in fact you were already wed?"
He looks down with a disheveled sigh.
"A guy can always hope."
"Very true my King. But while Peach does not return your feelings, she seems to not be above sweet-talking you into teaming up with her and Mario at times. It also seems that she will occasionally show you goodwill, such as baking you a cake or hesitating when she had to leave you to your presumed death in some of your defeats. However, in her own books that depict her adventures in all these events, she talks about being frightened of you. So much so that she jumps higher than Mario upon seeing you on the hero's side to stop the Smithy Gang or how she cries while in captivity. Even in sports tournaments, the two of you have bad chemistry and face off as rivals in many of them. As messed up as it sounds and as much as I really don't want to say it...But she's clearly using you."
This earns me a not so friendly look from him.
"She is in no way using me."
"I would have to disagree. The relationship between you two can be easily described as 'love/hate'. You who is clearly in love with Princess Peach but she rejects you every time. This leads to you always to kidnapping Peach which leads to the infamous running gag of Mario coming to the rescue. And even though you abduct her, she ends up in the power position. She has her own room. She can freely wander around your home. She's able to take your things and send them along with information to Mario. She manipulates your feelings for her so you'll do things that she wants. She even uses herself to distract you when dealing with Mario. Face it, she knows what she's doing. She's playing you like a game and she knows what moves to make in order to win. She..."
"ENOUGH!"
He roars with such force that the table is made empty and I'm sent tumbling to the ground.
"Bow...King Koopa?"
The rage in his eyes, it sends chills down to my very bones and my heart stops for several seconds before beating again.
"Get. Out. Now."
"*gulp* But sir..."
"GO!"
He smashes the table by hurling it into a wall. I blink and the next thing I see is my feet as I stand in a hall gasping for breath. I have never been so terrified in my entire life. My legs won't stop shaking, I've broken into a cold sweat, and my heart is speeding faster than a Yoshi using a Dash Pepper.
"M-mama?"
I nearly jump out of my skin.
"Are you okay?"
I open my mouth to speak, but can't make words come out.
"Papa scared you, didn't he?"
I nod and he sighs.
"I'm sorry Mama. But don't worry. I won't let Papa hurt you."
He gently takes my hand and just like that, the fear melts away to an overwhelming need for comfort. I drop to my knees and pull him into my arms, ignoring the spikes, and hug him tight much to his surprise. Yet he doesn't push me away. He embraces me in return. Giving me random nuzzles each time my form trembles.
"Mama Lynn...Do you wanna play a game with me?"
I don't speak, just hold him more.
"Um...Do you wanna go to my room?"
I nod against him.
As much as I don't want to, I let the Prince out of my hold but he keeps a grip of my hand and helps lead us over to his chambers. Once inside, I move to his bed and glue myself there. Jr. does his best to cheer me up or at the very least break me out of this funk, to little success. I think the part that mostly is getting to him is my lack of talking. The silence is saddening, even as we play catch.
"Mama...How long are you going to stay quiet?"
I shrug and pass the ball to him.
"Can I ask why Papa got mad and scared you?"
"...I said something he didn't like."
"Is that why you're not talking? You don't want to say anything else that might be bad?"
He passes the ball back to me and I nod.
"Well...What did you say?"
I look at the floor and hide behind the ball.
"Mama?"
"I don't want to say. You'll be mad at me too."
"It can't be that bad."
"...It was about Peach."
This gets to him and I hide more behind the ball.
"See? I should keep my mouth shut."
I hear his feet on the floor, making cute little pitter patter sounds, and when his hand suddenly touches my leg I flinch as if a Bullet Bill was just shot at me.
"What did you say?"
I shake my head.
"Mama..."
"No."
"Tell me."
"I said no."
He glares and takes in a big deep breath.
"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"
"She's a witch!"
I snap with a throw of the ball and he jumps.
"W-What?"
"*huffs* I said she's a bad person when it comes to your dad. Your dad and I talked for some time. He tried to help me understand why you would defend me after hardly knowing me. The subject then went to Peach and why he likes her. I thought about what he told me and added it to what I knew, this resulted in me stating that she is using your dad. She gets away with so much around him and she knows it. She's messing with his feelings to get her way and help Mario. I know Bowser can be mean and sometimes deadly, but Peach...To toy with someone's heart...That is true evil. And that alone makes me angry because even the big bad Koopa King doesn't manipulate the emotions of others. ...Except for that one time, he had the Vibe Scepter which has the power of emotions, but you know what I mean. Um...You do understand what I meant...Right?"
His face is in a state of dumbfoundedness and now I feel bad.
"*sighs* I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I just make things worse."
Now depressed about crushing a father and son's view on a woman they care about, I slump off his bed to the floor then roll myself under his bed to become lost in all his hidden junk. It's where I belong.
"Mama..."
Suddenly the bedroom door opens, with my back facing the door I can't see who it is, but from the feel of their steps and that deep voice, I know the King is here.
"Jr.."
"Hi, Papa. Do you feel any better?"
"Feel better?"
"The whole castle shook when you roared."
"Oh...that. Uh...Yeah. I'm feeling better. *ahem* Have you seen Lynsie anywhere?"
His voice, it sounded embarrassed at first and then tapered off in sadder feeling.
"Mama Lynn is hiding."
Oh sweet lord, do not tell him where I am!
"Hiding huh? *mutters* I'm not surprised."
"Huh?"
"Oh! Nothing. *sighs* If you see her, let her know I'm looking for her. Okay?"
"Okay, Papa."
He slowly leaves and Jr. comes over to my side of the bed then peeks at me.
"Heard all that?"
"Yeah."
"Are you gonna go see him?"
"...In a bit."
"Still scared?"
"Yeah. But not of him. I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing again."
"You know...You weren't wrong about Mama Peach."
This has me.
"I wasn't?"
"Papa loves Mama Peach. He'll do anything to make her happy. Even if it isn't a smart thing to do. He knows it's true, but he doesn't want to admit it."
I crawl out from under the bed.
"Still...I should apologize."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I want to say no...But I still don't know my way around here, so..."
"Heh heh...I'll help you find Papa, Mama. But on one condition."
"And that is?"
"Can I listen in?"
"...You want blackmail material don't you?"
He grins with a cute chuckle and I can't help but smile.
"Fine. But stay out of sight."
"No need to tell me..."
He pulls his bandana over his snout.
"I am a stealth master."
"*snickers* Well then, oh master of stealth, let us be off on our epic quest to see your dad!"
As like earlier, he leaps onto my back and he steers me to different rooms he thinks Bowser will be at. First, we check his room, nothing. Then the throne room, again nothing. But third time's the charm as we hear low mumbling coming from the study, and Jr. hops off as I work up the courage to knock.
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.
