Disclaimer: I do not own the song or anything from Twilight!
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you Ill be waiting
Time after time
---Cindy Lauper-Time After Time
Emmett's Pov:
Alice Cullen had to be the most stubborn woman to ever exist. If I thought that Rosalie and Leah Clearwater were bad, it was nothing compared to Alice. Usually I could get Rosalie to forgive me or give into what I wanted fairly quick. Now Rose was stubborn there is, no denying that, but she has nothing on Alice. My pixie sister was doing everything possible to avoid my attempts at seduction. She made it a point of always being around someone else so I couldn't get her alone.
To make matters worse, it was usually Jasper who hung around with her. That angered me more than his fucking Rosalie did. I don't know why I was so upset that he was hanging around with Alice. Hell,I should have expected it, he was her husband after all. Yet every time I saw him I had this urge to rip him to peices.
Jasper and Rosalie acted like nothing had happened between them and it appeared that Alice was indifferent to it. It was like it had not bothered her at all. If she loved Jasper half as much as I had loved Rosalie, then how could she be so calm about it all? How could she be so happy all the fucking time? Didn't her heart shatter like mine had? Didn't she want to scream and hit someone? Did she ever want to cry because the pain felt like a giant dose of venom was being injected into her heart? Did she ever feel empty and alone even though Jasper was with her? Did she ever feel like she wasn't good enough?
With a fustrated sigh I pulled myself up off the couch and headed for the stairs. I know that vampires can't get headaches but can they suffer from stress? I sure as hell think so because I felt like I was having a mental breakdown. I was feeling to many things at once. Pain and betrayal because of Rosalie and Jasper. Fustration and attraction towards Alice. Irritation at Edward, Bella, Carlisle, and Esme. They needed to realize that I didn't want to hear how sorry they were. I didn't give a rats ass about similiar situations they had been in. This was different and I wasn't them.
They all had someone who would never betray them. Why couldn't Alice and I have that? We deserved that did we not? We had always been faithful to our spouses but they couldn't do the same? Rosalie and Jasper had been everything to Alice and I. I would have done anything for Rosalie if she asked me. I would have died for her much in the same way Alice would die for Jasper. What had Alice and I done to piss off the love gods? Why did they take away our reasons for living?
I didn't know how Alice felt about Jasper's actions or if it even changed her view of him but I know it made me look at Rosalie in a whole new way. She may still be alive, or undead, however you want to put it. Anyways, as I was saying, she may be alive but to me she was dead and gone. She wasn't the same Rosalie I had fallen in love with. I could barely look at her anymore when we had sex. (I say sex and not making love because one, that sounds totally gay. It was something that Edward would say. And two, what Rosalie and I did was meaningless. There was no emotion behind it, atleast for me anyways.)
When I made it to the top of the stairs I headed straight for my room. Rosalie was spending the day with Nessie, Esme, and Bella. It was a girls day out so I wouldn't be tagging along unless I grew boobs and had a sex change. Alice wasn't going either and when I asked Rosalie why, all she would say was that Alice didn't feel up to shopping. I didn't buy that for a minute because it was Alice we were talking about. The same Alice who would wear tinfoil if it were the latest fashion.
Carlisle and Jasper had gone hunting for the weekend and I suspected that Edward had probably went with them. No, wait, what is that sound? I heard a soft sobbing coming from Alice's room. Then I heard a male voice...Edward? So I was wrong, he hadn't gone hunting after all.
The real question was why was Alice crying? (Well technically it would be sobbing tearlessly because vampires can't produce tears.) Why was Edward in her room? He wasn't comforting her the same way that Jasper had comforted Rosalie, was he? I listened closely for a moment and relaxed when I realized they were not having sex. I can't even begin to explain how relieved I was, knowing that they weren't screwing. I would have hated to have had to rip my brother to peices. It would have had nothing to do with jealousy either so don't even think it.
"Alice it wasn't anything that you did. You have to stop blaming yourself." I could hear the pity in his voice. It annoyed me to know that Edward felt pity for Alice and I. We didn't need anyone's pity. Did he not realize how much worse that made us feel? Well I don't know about Alice, but it certianly made me feel worse. Made me feel like I wasn't good enough.
What was so special about Jasper anyways? So who cares if he was in the Cival War? What did it matter that he had been a big player in the Southern vampire wars? Big freaking deal, I was mauled by a bear but I didn't go around bragging about it or using it as a crutch to get away with things. I'm telling you, Jasper used his scars to make people feel bad for him so that he could get away with practically anything. All he had to do was use a little bit of that Southern charm and he was off the hook.
Why did he need Rosalie when he had Alice? Alice was a wonderful, sweet, caring, slightly insane, hyper, wild, fun, and beautiful vampire. Who could ask for more? Jasper was a fool for taking her for granted. One of these days Alice was going to wise up and leave his ass to rot for all eternity. Maybe he and Rosalie could rot together because I obviously wasn't good enough for her.
"If I had seen it coming then I could have prevented it! What use is having visions if I can't see the important stuff?" Alice's bell like voice floated over to me from under the door. She sounded so hurt, so full of pain. I had never seen Alice upset or sad since the day I met her.
"No Alice! You can't think like that. We all love you and we would still love you even if you didn't have your visions." I frowned as I heard Edward because I didn't understand what he was talking about. What had Alice been thinking that bothered him so much? "Please Alice, don't think things like that." Edward paused in his speech again, he must be listening to her thoughts. That 'having a silent conversation' thing was really inconvienent when you were trying to listen in.
I heard her start to sob again so I decided to intervene. Without knocking first, I opened the door and stepped inside. Edward was up in a flash. He sent me a look of suspicion before he looked down at Alice. "What do you want now?" So Eddie had grown a pair had he? If he thought he was tough then we may end up throwing down here and now.
I smirked at him as he growled. "I want to talk to her." I waved my hand casually in Alice's direction. I was trying to play it cool even though I was anything but calm. Knowing how Alice felt, it changed things. I really had thought that she had just forgiven Jasper and Rosalie. With the way she acted what was I supposed to think? She was a damn good actor. If she went into the movie industry she would become an instant star. Probably even more popular than Angelina Jolie and Madonna combined.
They were doing the silent conversation thing again. I could tell that Edward didn't want to leave her alone with me but I don't think she was giving him much of a choice. With a sigh he leaned down and kissed her cheek before turning to rush out of the room. I did manage to catch his low murmurs. "If you really thought it didn't effect her then you need to get a clue. If you hurt her I swear that I will kill you. She doesn't need this from you." Then he was out the door and a few seconds later I heard him head in the direction of his cottage.
After he was gone, I turned to look at Alice and I mean really look at her. She looked horrible! If it were possible she was even more pale than what was natural for a vampire. She had dark circles under eyes, and for the first time I wondered when the last time she fed properly was. I tried to do the math in my head but the closest I got was three weeks. There was no way she could have gone without eating for almost a month. But as I thought about it, I hadn't seen her leave the house at all.
Had I really been that absorbed in my own pain that I was unable to see how much Alice was hurting? I had been a fool. Edward had been right all this time. If I went through with my plan it would hurt her. She hadn't done anything wrong and I shouldn't punish her for Jasper's sins. It was his mistake and I would have to deal with him. I would leave Alice out of it because she had been through just as much as I had. It may even be worse for her because she had only ever been with Jasper that she could remember. He was all that she knew and it had to have shattered her heart to learn that her one true love had fucked her sister.
I took three long strides in her direction and soon was sitting on the floor next to her. We both looked straight ahead and I could tell that she was waiting for me to say something, so I did. "Do you think that you'll ever be able to trust him again? I can't even look at her without seeing him with her. I can't touch her without wondering if she wants to be with him. When she moans my name does she really want to be calling out for him? Did she ever really love me? How come she didn't come to me?"
"I'm so sorry Emmett, if I would have had a vision sooner maybe I could have stopped it but I wasn't given enough warning. I can understand if you're mad at me. My visions are supposed to be helpful but they didn't work when I needed them most. It's because of me that you're hurt." She had laid her head against her knees and I could hear her sobbing again. "What is wrong with me? Why can't he love me?"
God, how could I have been so blind to her pain? I was selfish man. I was heartless. How could I have ever wanted to use her to hurt Jasper? "Alice, it's not your fault. They betrayed us and not the other way around. You're perfect and if Jasper can't see that then he has been bitten one to many times and the venom is damaging his brain." She twisted her head so she could look at me. A strand of her dark hair fell into her eyes and I moved it away from her face. I felt mesmerised as looked into her eyes. I couldn't look away. "You are so beautiful. Jasper is a fool Alice and so was I. I can't beleive I thought of Rosalie as an angel. Looking at you now, I realize I mistook her for the angel because the light of your halo was covering her as well. She isn't the angel Alice, you are. I don't understand how I missed it before."
Alice lifted her head slightly as she brought her lips to mine. It was soft at first as our lips just teased eachother with feather light kisses. We both shifted our positions so we were facing eachother. We never broke contact with our kiss. I was on my knees like she was. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist and pulled her body into mine. Her tongue was tracing my lips and I opened my mouth for her as I reached my free arm around behind her to squeeze her ass and pull her tighter against me. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I stood up and stumbled over to the bed. She fell on top of me and I held her tightly against me.
Our kissing had grown desperate and Alice was grinding her lower half against me. I buried my face in her soft hair. It smelled like honeysuckle. Hmm, I wonder if its the shampoo she uses? Whatever it was I liked it alot. I leaned in to kiss her again and she held onto the back of my neck to keep me from breaking the kiss off. As she was kissing me her hands made their way under my shirt and I could feel her trace the outline of my abs with her fingers. It felt so fucking good. With Rosalie it was always a bit rough, not that I didn't like that because I did but I also wanted tenderness once in a while. Even the big dumb guys need love. Even if I was vampire I was still a man with a heart whether it was beating or not.
I nibbled my way down her jaw to her shoulder. I suckled the skin on her neck until she made a cute purring noise. "Do you like that Ali cat?" I smirked at her before I rolled us over so she was underneath me now. I grabbed one of her thighs and hitched it up around my hips.
"Please Emmett." Her plea was more of a whimper and I leaned down to kiss her again but froze at her words. "Make me forget him." Jasper. I had forgotten all about Rosalie and Jasper. Damn it, what I was about to do was no better than what they did. I didn't want to fuck Alice to get revenge on them. I wanted to make love to Alice and that scared the hell out of me.
When had this happened? I couldn't love Alice! She was my sister! Ok, not technically, but still you get the point. I was supposed to fuck her so Jasper could feel how I felt but now it didn't matter. Jasper didn't matter, or Rosalie. Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Bella, and Renesmee, they didn't matter either. The only one who mattered was Alice. I was in love with Alice. The way she laughed and smiled. How she put others before her own wellbeing. Her crazy visions and bubbly personality. I was completely and utterly head over heels for Alice Cullen.
I was brought out of my thoughts as I felt Alice trying to lift my shirt over my head. I placed my hand over hers to hault the movement. "No Alice."
She gave me a small smile that was most definately a 'I want to fuck your brains out' kind of smile. Here I was with the woman I just found myself in love with and I couldn't do it. I couldn't sleep with her. Not like this. I didn't want a wham bam thank you mam kind of night with Alice. I wanted forever...and could I sound anymore like a pansy?
"Are you going to strip for me? Do we need to get a stripper pole? Or, wait, you want me to use your pole?" Her hand trailed down my thigh and I had shove myself off of the bed and away from her. Damn it, I had no idea that Alice was so damn playful in the bedroom. It really was a turn on. l'm glad that vampires can't get blue balls cause I would be suffering from a very bad case if that were possible.
"Alice, I think we should slow down." Yes thats good, slow is good. Convince her to go slow. Oh man she has one hell of a sexy pout. No! Bad Emmett don't think like that! Think pure thoughts, think pure thoughts. Naked Edward, ok no good. Don't think about naked Edward again if I ever want to be able to perform in the bedroom in the future. Naked Carlisle, naked Esme, Jacob Black wearing a speedo. Oh Alice in a bikini..mmm..No! Think pure thoughts, think pure thoughts. This 'think pure thoughts' plan wasn't working very well with Alice sliding off the bed to walk enticingly towards me.
"Come on Emmett this is what you wanted." When she reached me she placed her hands on my chest running them up and down. She tilted her head up to look at me and she licked her lips. She was now the seducer and I was the victim. I had to focus because no matter how much I wanted her, I wanted it the right way and not because we wanted to hurt our exes. "You wanted to hurt him so now you have your chance."
I shook my head as I removed her hands from my chest. "No Alice, I can't. I'm so sorry."
"Why?" She looked confused and a little bit upset. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her it would be ok but I knew if I touched her I would lose control.
"It's not right Alice. We are better than them. When I do-" I stopped when Alice started laughing. It wasn't a 'haha that is funny' kind of laugh. It was more of an insane hysterical crying. "Alice?"
She threw her hands up and paced around the room. "So this was your master plan?" What was she talking about? "You thought it would be funny to get me all wound up and when I offer myself to you then you turn it down? Did it give you a good laugh? Are Jasper and Rosalie in on it too? Did you hook up cameras? Am I on TV and everyone I know is having fun at my expense?"
I reached out to grab her arm. "Alice it's not like that, I do want you." I swung her into my body and let her feel my reaction to her. "Don't doubt that I want you. I want nothing more than to feel your body under mine. I would give anything to hear you moan my name."
Alice for her part seemed even more confused. "What is stopping you?"
Her question was almost to low for me to hear. "You are."
.
"But you just said that you wanted me. So how can I be the reason you want to stop?" I guess now I would have to tell her the truth. I cup her face in my hands and kiss her soft cold lips gently.
"I love you and I don't want you to be with me just to get back at Jasper. I know that is what I originally wanted but somewhere along the line I fell in love with you." I wasn't prepared for the slap that forced my head sideways. "Ok so that is not exactly how I pictured your reaction to finding out I am in love with you."
Alice glared at me obviously not finding my humor funny. She placed her hands on her hips. "You bastard! How could you do that to me?"
"Uhh.." I struggled to understand what the hell was going on.
"Don't give me an uhh...Talk like a human and tell me what the hell you were thinking!" She was shaking with anger and for once I didn't think size didn't matter because I am pretty sure if Alice wanted to take me down right now that she could and I'm like 5 times her size.
"I thought I made it pretty clear as to what I was saying and thinking. I thought I was the oblivious one." Why do I keep insulting myself? "I love you Alice. What's not clear about that?"
"I dunno..how about the whole thing?!? Why would you toy with me like that? If you don't want me, all you had to do what say it." She wasn't yelling anymore. Instead she was looking down at her feet. "I should have never thought I could compete with Rosalie. Everybody wants her." She looked up at me and her face was a mask of pain and anguish. "Tell me Emmett, if everyone wants Rose, where does that leave me?"
I didn't have a chance to reply because she took off past me and down the stairs. I followed her until I reached the door and was suddenly pinned to the wall by Edward. "What did you do?'
I pushed him off of me. "I didn't do anything!" I snarled at him.
"Then way did Alice run past me practically in tears? And why is your shirt torn?" I looked down at my shirt and I noticed that a couple of buttons had been ripped off. Alice must have done it in the rush to get my shirt off. Edward's head snapped up. Oh right he heard my thought's. With a sigh I replayed the events in my mind for Edward. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone until he knew the truth.
After a moment he commented. "Do you love her? What about Rosalie?"
"I-" I shook my head. "Rosalie and I can never be what we once where. She is too different and I am a different person than I once was."
"You avoided my question. Do you love Alice?" Damn it, I thought I had been sneaky in avoiding that question, "You're not sneaky Emmett. Now answer the question." He was staring at me again and I realized he was reading my mind.
"It's hard to explain." So I showed him. I showed him everything that I had been feeling and thinking. I let him see my confusion and desire. He could feel the suprise I had felt when I realized I loved Alice. Rosalie was my past and Alice was my future. I needed her and not for sex. Well not just for sex.
He ran his fingers through his bronzed hair with a sigh. "Then why are you standing there? Go after her."
I grinned widely at him and gave him a man hug. "Thank you Edward."
He smirked back but waved his hand dismissively. "Yes whatever. You can pay me back by not having sex in every public place you can think of. Also a word of warning." I waited for him to continue. "Jasper won't react well to this. He loves Alice and I doubt that Rosalie will be willing to let you go. I hope you and Alice have the strength to fight for each other. Just know that you have Bella's and my support."
"Whoever said that all was fair in love in war, well they never met me before. I don't plan to fight fair. I will use dirty rotten tactics if I have to. I'll cheat." I nodded once before I raced out the door to find Alice.
When I finally managed to catch up to her, well I was in hearing distance anyways I called out so she could hear me, "Oh Ali cat...come here kitty kitty."
TBC
