AN: Alright, this one's a little bit different. We're breaking the mold here. Also, for the record, this lovely website has been having a problem recently, and that problem is that the reviews you guys post aren't being posted to the story. I'm not deleting them, I swear, and I do still read them, they get sent to my e-mail account. However, it's not letting me respond to you guys, so...that's why I haven't responded. I'm blown away by how much you guys are liking this one already! Really, you guys kick serious ass.

Chapter 2: In Memoriam

His eyes were supposed to be closed in meditation, but Anakin Skywalker was peeking out of the corner of his eye at his Master, squinting to give the appearance that he was, in fact, lost in the Force. It never worked before, but it would this time. After all, Qui-Gon was silent, head bowed, eyes closed, his face so relaxed that the Padawan couldn't help but wonder if the aging Jedi was, in fact, asleep. He had fallen asleep himself several times when he should have been in meditation, and Skywalker was certain he wasn't the only one to do so.

"Anakin," the Master said softly, and the Padawan shot up straight, eyes flying open.

"Y-yes, Master?"

"We are meditating. Is the meaning lost on you again?"

"Uh, n-no, Master, I was, I just..." Qui-Gon was looking at him, his dark blue eyes tired and knowing and Anakin hated when he looked at him like that. "I was just startled, Master. You startled me."

Qui-Gon sighed, closing his eyes once again. "I feel your concern, Anakin, and you shouldn't be. Please, try to focus. You will never be a Jedi if you can't."

Anakin smiled. "I'll try harder, Master." At eighteen years old, Anakin Skywalker was well into his apprenticeship with the Jedi that had saved him from slavery, and as a hot-blooded teen, young Skywalker was finding it very difficult to exhibit the proper traits of a Padawan that would soon be ready to undergo the Trials and become a Jedi Knight. He struggled with patience and sitting still, preferring combat to meditation, lightsaber training to contemplation of the Force, and he knew it was taxing on his Master. He tried to do better, he did, if for nothing else, for the sake of Qui-Gon Jinn.

Skywalker sighed, closing his eyes for a second before giving up entirely and looked his Master over. Qui-Gon's brown hair was beginning to be streaked with gray, and the years had given him wisdom, a weight of presence that could be felt even without use of the Force. In his younger days, Anakin had remembered him to be argumentative and confrontational, following the Force wherever he found it took him, arguing for what he believed no matter who stood against him. Once, long ago, the Master had fought against the Council to be allowed to train Anakin, but these days, Qui-Gon and the Jedi Masters in the tower clashed less often, less violently.

His eyes drifted down to the lightsaber at his Master's belt. Anakin very clearly remembered Qui-Gon's green lightsaber, the first Jedi weapon he had ever seen, the first one that he ever handled. Sometimes, when he closed his eyes, he could see the glowing green blade, remembered how it felt, light and swift and elegant in his ten year old hands, could still recall the faint burning smell of the plasma blade as it ignited. The one at his Master's belt looked similar to the old, familiar weapon, but it wasn't the same one. That blade belonged to Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Sithkiller, the Legendary Jedi Knight that tried to warn the Jedi about what was coming and died for it. Anakin knew that Qui-Gon had trained the man, but he couldn't remember him. He wasn't even certain that he had met him. He had tried asking, but Qui-Gon Jinn refused to speak of his former Padawan.

Six years ago, Obi-Wan Kenobi was killed by the Sith, and Qui-Gon had felt it in the Force, knew before anyone that something awful had happened to his young former Padawan, and he hadn't been the same since. Anakin could see the change in his Master from the moment it had happened. For weeks after, he had barely spoken, his grief so overwhelming that the Force itself sat heavy upon his shoulders. It took the council of Master Yoda to help him through it, and even then, Qui-Gon had come away a different man. Anakin never felt cheated or slighted by his Master, the older man giving his full attention to his student at every turn, and he was always readily available to tend to his Padawan's needs. However, sometimes, when the Padawan should have been sleeping, or when the Master simply wasn't paying attention, Anakin looked at Qui-Gon and saw deep sadness and regret on his proud features, his deep blue eyes distant and heartbroken, and Skywalker knew that there was a wound in his Master that would never be healed.

"Anakin."

The Padawan sighed. "Master."

"You aren't going to meditate, are you."

"No, Master." Qui-Gon's tired blue eyes opened and focused on Anakin's young, handsome face. "I thought," he began carefully, "that we could do some more combat training. We are going to be fighting soon, right? For real, I mean. Against, you know...the Sith." It was a touchy subject, and Anakin hated bringing it up because it pained his Master. But it needed to be said.

"...yes, we are."Qui-Gon groaned as he got to his feet, his Padawan jumping up swiftly and lending him his hand, and the two Jedi left the room to head slowly to the training arena.

"What are we going to learn today, Master?" Anakin asked excitedly, his long legs overtaking the older Jedi in his excitement. He slowed to walk beside the old Master, only to speed up again. "I'm doing well in Ataru, right? We can do more of that, you're still much better than I am!"

"Patience, Anakin. Nothing good ever came from rushing ahead."

"I'm not rushing, I promise!" Anakin rushed ahead and turned, walking backwards in front of Qui-Gon's slow, even gait. "You always said I was talented, I just want to reach my full potential now so I can beat the Sith!"

"Never assume that will be easy, Padawan..."

"I know it won't be easy. That's why I want to intensify my training. If you and I work hard at this together, we can avenge the Sithkiller and-" He stopped suddenly, nearly biting his tongue in his attempt to keep the words from leaving his mouth, but it was too late. Qui-Gon didn't stop walking, brushing past his young apprentice, his blue eyes distant, looking to something that Anakin simply couldn't see. Skywalker's quick steps brought him to his Master's side again, slowing his pace to match Qui-Gon. "Master, I'm sorry. I-"

"Vengeance isn't the way of the Jedi, Anakin. Never forget that." The Padawan looked up at his Master and nodded. He felt awful for bringing it up. He knew this, of course. After Obi-Wan's death, Qui-Gon had made certain that his Padawan knew about the dangers of the Dark Side; it was never spoken between them, but the Padawans talked a lot, and these days, they talked about the Sith, and how Qui-Gon was at the center of it all. The Sithkiller was slain by Count Dooku, a former Jedi Master and the man that had trained Qui-Gon Jinn. At some point, Dooku fell to the Dark Side, and Obi-Wan had learned the truth and died for it. Anakin believed his Master to be the strongest of the Jedi, the wisest, the most kind, but on that day, Skywalker had watched as Qui-Gon nearly broke. He'd never forget.

"I know, Master, but don't you want-"

"No, Anakin, I don't. Vengeance and revenge are the fastest ways to the Dark Side. We must not let anger rule us, or the killing will never stop."

"But don't we need to kill the Sith? Don't they need to die?"

"...yes, they do." Anakin smiled, but quickly stopped when he saw Qui-Gon's eyes narrow at his pleasure. "That does not mean we should want their deaths. There is a big difference between want and necessity. They need to die, but we must never want it. Do you understand?"

"I think so, Master." Anakin looked up at the older Jedi, one of the few people that he had to look up at. "...no, Master, not quite."

"You will, my Padawan." They entered the training hall, and several of the rings were occupied by Knights and Masters and their Padawans practicing intently. The training rings were often occupied these days as Jedi came day and night to hone their lightsaber combat, all of them diving into their studies and mastering their primary styles, or diversifying their skills and learning the ways of the other forms. Lesser practiced styles were quickly becoming more common as the prospect of fighting the Sith in the field drove the Jedi to vary their technique; their ancient enemy was adapting, and the Order would have to as well.

Qui-Gon and Anakin found an empty ring at the far side of the massive hall, and the young Padawan leapt down the shallow steps into it, drawing his saber with a flourish and adjusting the blue blade to its lowest setting. Qui-Gon slowly did the same, his long fingers running affectionately over the black and silver hilt before he thumbed the weapon on, the blue plasma blade extending with a hiss.

"Alright, ready!" Anakin leapt from foot to foot, tossing his lightsaber in the air and deftly catching it. Qui-Gon held the blue blade out in front of him, nodding slightly, and Anakin rushed the Master, blades clashing swiftly again and again as Skywalker danced around Qui-Gon, athletic and aggressive, working hard to break the other Jedi's defense. He didn't see it when Qui-Gon's saber slipped under his guard and touched the Padawan in the chest, and Anakin jumped away with a hiss.

"Ow! Kriffing hell, again? How do you keep doing that, you barely moved!"

"Do you want to beat the Sith, Anakin?" The Padawan nodded, blue eyes narrowed in determination. "When I fought the Sith on Naboo, I used your exact style, and I nearly died for it. Ataru is fast and highly offensive, but it will wear you out quickly and it leaves your guard easy to penetrate. If you can win a fight quickly, Ataru is a good choice, but you will have no quick duel with the Sith. My own fight was a grueling affair, and there were two of us. They are formidable opponents."

"Well, yeah, but you were a lot older than the Sith, and your partner was a Padawan. It's not the same as an even fight."

Anakin saw sorrow flash in his Master's eyes. "Don't forget, Anakin. That Padawan managed to kill the Sith on his own. The Force evened the field in his favor, but he would have lost if he was not in tune with the Force." Qui-Gon took a deep breath and closed his regal eyes. "It will never be a fair fight with the Sith, Anakin. They simply will not fight if they don't believe they can win."

"...is that how the Sithkiller died?" Qui-Gon's eyes slid out of focus as he looked somewhere very far away from the moment, and Anakin retracted his saber and stood beside his Master, laying a hand on the tall man's shoulder. "Master, it's been so long, and I can't stand to see you like this anymore. Every time I look at you, I see your pain, I feel it in our connection through the Force, and it's killing me. Please, let me help you."

"There's nothing-"

"Yes there is. Master Yoda said it's alright to feel sorrow and loss as long as you deal with it and put it behind you, but you aren't dealing with it because you haven't spoken about what happened! Well, he said it sort of like that. Not in that order..."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and chuckled softly, deactivating his own blue weapon and gingerly putting it back on his belt. "You're right. Of course, you're right." The Master sat on the shallow steps leading down into the sparring ring, and his Padawan settled down right next to him. "I apologize, Anakin. I feel I haven't been myself for some time."

"You don't need to apologize, Master. You've always been there for me." Anakin grinned broadly, and Qui-Gon's ridged posture relaxed. "I should be the one that's sorry. I haven't been the easiest Padawan, I know."

"Neither was I." A small smile tugged at Qui-Gon's lips, but his eyes were pained. "I was always a bit free-spirited. My adherence to the Code was never absolute, but neither was my Master's. We-" He stopped suddenly, his voice catching in his throat, and Anakin could feel the Jedi make the very Force around him tremble with pain. Skywalker carefully took his Master's hand. It was easy to forget that Kenobi wasn't the only loss Qui-Gon suffered that day. The Master took a deep breath, closed his eyes as he reeled his emotions in as best as he was able.

"I don't know how Obi-Wan died," Qui-Gon whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "I don't know why he died. They never recovered enough to-" His breath hitched as he swallowed a sob, and Anakin's strong hand grabbed his shoulder. Talking about Obi-Wan never got easier. It shouldn't have. All evidence pointed to a brutal, painful death for the five Jedi that had perished on Serenno. Many of the Jedi dispatched to the scene suffered from nightmares long after, and Anakin knew his Master still had restless, sleepless nights. "He was young. Talented, and very strong in the Force, but against a trained Sith Lord, he and four other Jedi didn't stand a chance."

"...everyone talks about him like he was amazing." Anakin smiled sadly, trying to sooth his Master through the Force, but the grief hung over him like mist.

"He was. But not because of what you Padawans gossip about. He is a legend, yes, but not for the right reasons."

"Uh, Master, he killed a Sith! When he was a Padawan!"

Qui-Gon smiled, chuckling as he watched Skywalker tap his foot with excitement. "Yes, that's true. He was a bit older than you are now, though. He was more experienced."

"Is it true he didn't need to undergo the Trials?"

"Yes, that's true." Anakin grinned, his face lighting up as his mind ran with his own ambitions about the victories that would lead to his own knighting. "Be humble, Anakin," Qui-Gon gently admonished. "He was a unique case. I want you to undergo the Trials. Seeking glory will not only get you killed, but it is also not the Jedi Way. It will only set you back."

Skywalker sighed, bowing his head in slight disappointment. "I know, Master. I'm sorry."

"I just want what's best for you. I don't believe I could stand losing another..."

Anakin suddenly felt awful as Qui-Gon's face fell, the sadness returning in full force. "You won't lose me, Master," Skywalker said softly, tightly grasping the Jedi's shoulder, a sad smile on his lips. "I promise. I'll...try to be the best Jedi I can." Qui-Gon said nothing. He just took the lightsaber off his belt, holding it delicately and turning it over in his hands. "...so what should he be remembered for, if not for being the Sithkiller?"

He was quiet for a moment, his large hands tightening around the saber. "Obi-Wan...was a model Jedi. He was fiercely dedicated to the Code, so much so that he and I often conflicted over it. He was...wise. Much wiser than I, despite his age. He was fiercely loyal, dedicated, he never did anything halfway. He was steadfast, selfless, modest."

"Kriffing hell," Anakin muttered. "How am I supposed to compete with that?" Qui-Gon smiled.

"Don't. You can't compare yourself to him, you are different people. You and he have different struggles."

"How did you do it? How could you go from the perfect Jedi to me?"

Qui-Gon was silent for a moment, biting his lip as he thought and blinking his tired eyes. "Obi-Wan had his challenges as well. Master Yoda sensed my defiance in him, which I experienced first-hand when we argued. He was headstrong, like you, loved flying and mechanics, like you, and he had a sharp, sarcastic tongue that landed him in trouble frequently. We argued often, especially at the end of his apprenticeship. And after he became a knight, he...we drifted apart. The rift between us was so deep, I couldn't..."

Qui-Gon shivered, his shoulders shaking as he shut his eyes against the tears that fell down his cheeks, and Anakin felt helpless. His mentor, his friend, this man who had been the closest thing to a father he would ever have was falling to pieces, and the young Padawan had no idea how to help him. People were complicated, even Jedi, and Skywalker couldn't simply fix it like he did with ships and machines and droids. When he was young and afraid back on Tatooine, his mother used to hold him close to her, pet his hair, tell him that time would make things right, and that's exactly what he did with his Master now.

It didn't take Qui-Gon long to control his emotions, his breath slowly becoming more even as Anakin slowly stroked his back. His dark blue eyes slowly scanned the large training hall, watching Jedi deep in their focus as they fought and honed their skills, and thankfully, nobody was looking in their direction.

"I never got to make it up to him," he began again, his voice soft and even as his emotions fell under his control. "The last time we spoke, we had said we would try to repair the damage between us. I don't know if a Jedi is supposed to feel regret, but I do. I regret how I had handled Obi-Wan. I regret that we never had a chance to be close again. With the Force, all things are possible, and the Code says there is no death, only the Force, but I won't see Obi-Wan again, and it makes the wound difficult to heal."

"Were you fighting over how to handle the Sith?"

"No. We were fighting over you."

"...me?!" Anakin held his breath, looking his Master over very, very carefully. "Why would you be fighting about me?"

"I wanted to train you." Qui-Gon looked away from his apprentice, a sad smile on his lips. "You're potential was so great, it would have been a crime to leave you behind. The Force itself led me to you, and I couldn't ignore that. But Obi-Wan thought you were too old, that you would be unable to let go your old attachments. He believed as the Council did. You were too dangerous to train."

"...was he right?" His Master's dark blue eyes examined Anakin's face, those sharp features and deadly serious, and Qui-Gon felt fear in him.

"No. Obi-Wan was right about many things, but not about you. You are worth training. And you were worth fighting for. I don't regret defending you to the Council. But I do regret how I handled Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon took a deep breath, and Anakin watched the Master's blue eye got that sad, faraway look. "He felt I was abandoning him. I wasn't, of course, but he felt replaced. I know you don't remember him, but he spent a great deal of time actively avoiding you."

"So there was fear in him too?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "There is fear in all of us, Anakin, but a Jedi learns how to turn fear into strength of will. Obi-Wan always had powerful resolve, and I like to believe he was without fear in his final moments."

Anakin smiled. "I'm sure he was, Master. He sounds brave."

"He was." Qui-Gon groaned as he raised to his feet, Anakin helping him up, and the Master handed Skywalker Kenobi's lightsaber. Anakin held it reverently, as if he was afraid it may break in his hands. "Would you like to use it? Just for now, I need it back."

"Yes! Yes, I would!" He ignited the blade, the blue plasma thrumming softly in the air, and he gently swung it, getting the feel of the weapon in his grasp. "Is this the saber he killed the Sith with?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "The hilt is different, he must have modified it at some point, but yes, it's the same blade. It's the same one he was killed with as well, so don't think the lightsaber is special. It isn't. It's only as good as the Jedi that wields it."

Anakin nodded, turning it over in his hands. It was more elegant than his own lightsaber, lighter and less suited to the heavy offensive weight of Skywalker's own weapon. The design spoke of it's maker's preference, and looking at it gave Anakin a better idea of the sort of person Qui-Gon's dead Padawan was. "It's not what I thought," he muttered, swinging the blade hard in the air, and its speed made the Padawan feel off-balance. "You trained him in Ataru, didn't you?"

"I did, yes, but I had heard that he learned from my failure against the Sith. He saw how I fought and the weaknesses of the style changed him. He switched to Soresu when he undertook the mission to hunt the Sith."

"What, really?" Anakin swung the blade over his shoulder, holding it in the Soresu defensive position, and he frowned. The blade felt natural, but Anakin did not. "I thought we want to fight them, not let them just beat their sabers against us."

"You have much to learn, Padawan," Qui-Gon said softly, a faint smile on his lips as he watched Skywalker work his way around the feel of the unfamiliar weapon. "My offensive nearly got me killed."

"His offensive killed a Sith."

"Yes, and his defense was remarkable. Even Mace Windu was impressed with his mastery of the style."

"...but it wasn't enough to save him."

"...no, it wasn't."Anakin retracted the blade and handed the lightsaber back to his Master, his large, calloused hands closing gently around it. "I don't know what happened to Obi-Wan, Anakin, but it's my job to make certain it doesn't happen to you. Maybe Obi-Wan lost his focus. Maybe he thought like you and abandoned his defense when he needed it most. Maybe the Sith was just better, I don't know. But you, Padawan, won't go the way he did. I'll make certain of that."

Anakin smiled, fierce determination in his eyes. "What do I need to do?"

"If you like, you and I will go see Master Luminara. She trained Obi-Wan in Soresu, and after his death, I went to learn from her as well."

"Does it work?"

"It works. It's against your nature, Anakin, but studying it will make you grow." The Padawan nodded.

"Whatever you say, Master. Can we go now?"

Qui-Gon chuckled, shaking his head and putting his lightsaber back on his belt. "Yes, we'll go see if she's available." They walked from the training ring, the Padawan easily falling into step next to his Master, and the elder Jedi put his arm around the teen, pulling the blushing Padawan closer to him. "Thank you, Anakin," he whispered. "I do feel better. It was...good to talk about Obi-Wan."

"Do you really feel better?"

"Yes. No. It hurts still, but it was good to talk about him, not just sit and think about how he died. With so much talk about the Sith, it is difficult not to remember what had happened. It's easy to forget who he was in the face of how he died."

The young Skywalker smiled, small and sweet and genuine, and Qui-Gon felt himself swell with pride for his Padawan. Anakin's greatest strength was his compassion, and it didn't fail him now when he needed that most. "Master, we'll talk about him any time you like. I promise. I will always be here for you."

Skywalker was so earnest, so honest, his close bond with the Master reaching out and warming him, that Quo-Gon couldn't help but believe that Anakin Skywalker, no matter what, would keep that promise.