Chapter 2: Blood and Lemonade

Dinner in the Great Hall is always exciting. Dinner in the Great Hall on the first day of your last year at Hogwarts is beyond description. The Hall was hung with beautiful silks in House colors and looked quite impressive. It was almost like a place of worship, hallowed, sacred, and special in ways beyond words.

James took his place at his usual seat on the long Gryffindor table that seemed to stretch on for an eternity. Sirius sat next to him, as usual, and Remus sat across from him on the other side. Peter sat across from Sirius. Lily sat as far away from him as she could while still staying near her friends. This was odd, because Lily and her friends rarely ever sat near the Marauders. Aslyn had attached herself to Remus, who smiled at her as though his life depended on looking like a bloody idiot with her, and Sirius managed to get Maichina next to him. Again, he really didn't seem to mind. Cosmia had brought her book with her, stoutly ignoring Peter's disgusting attempts to flirt with her. Lily was playing with her hair.

The doors flew open and Professor McGonagall strode in with several shivering first years walking drunkenly behind her, unable to form a line. James shook his head gently; he had never been that small. One of the girls, soaking wet with bright blonde plaits slowly dripping water down her back, was crying loudly. McGonagall gave her a look that could freeze water, but the little girl seemed oblivious. She clearly didn't know about Professor McGonagall and her glares. She would learn soon enough if she kept that behavior up.

The Sorting Hat sat on its stool and began to serenade the Hall in a gravely voice.

I was here since the beginning

Of this noble Magic school,

A time when learning was a virtue

And harmony was a rule.

The bold founders of this dream

Were very smart indeed,

They made it so that I could look

Inside your head and read.

Your heart's desire and ambition

Is like to me an open book.

So try me, don't be afraid,

And let me take a look.

You may belong in Gryffindor,

For you may be brave and daring.

You may go into Hufflepuff,

Hard workers, sweet and caring.

Or perhaps you'll go to Ravenclaw,

Where your cunning must be surest.

You may belong in Slytherin,

Of blood and ambition purest.

So now the time has come, dear friends

To take a turn with me,

So put me on, don't wait a moment

We'll see where you shall be.

The patched hat clutched in one long hand and a roll of parchment in the other, Professor McGonagall threw one last glare at the girl before explaining the Sorting process quickly. She unfurled the parchment with a flick of her wrist and called the name "Bicknell, Barnabus" and a tall, gangly boy took his place on the three-legged stool.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Sirius was talking to Maichina eagerly, and Remus was holding hands with Aslyn. James blinked. When did that happen? James stopped listening, turning his hazel eyes to Lily. She was watching the Sorting eagerly, flipping her long mane of hair behind her shoulder and clapping politely. James tried to suppress a groan. Being that beautiful should be made illegal.

"Sterzer, James"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Glancing down the long table which came alive with shouting, James saw a tall boy with sandy hair and bright blue eyes standing on his seat letting out the loudest cat call he'd ever heard and clapping his hands raw. James poked Sirius in the ribs.

"Looks like Jonathan's little brother got in." He had to yell to be heard over the din.

"He'll be happy then. At least he'll be here for the little snot's first year before he graduates."

"Tanner, Brandon"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Trotman, Olivia"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

With a final cry of "SLYTHERIN!" to a "Warren, Cooper", Professor Dumbledore stood up, a gentle rustling of his deep purple robes the only noise in the room.

"There are a few start of term announcements I'd like to get out of the way before we eat." Sirius groaned audibly and there were smatterings of light laughter laced through the Hall. Dumbledore looked in his direction, his blue eyes bright and a slight smile around his lips. Lily just looked disgusted. "But I assure you that it will not take long. Mister Filch has again updated the number of contraband items not allowed on school grounds. The list is posted outside his office, and he has asked me to request that all students check their belongings against it for fear of his—" Dumbledore smiled again. "wrath. It is good to remind both young and old students alike," again his gaze traveled to Gryffindor table, "that the Forbidden Forest needs to live up to its name. Please do not disappoint it. The Astronomy tower is off-limits with the exception of classes or study groups at the request of Mister Filch. With that out of the way, I'd like to introduce you to Professor Faust. He will be your new Potions Master." There was a light dash of unenthusiastic applause. James stared at the man as he stood, thinking he looked strangely familiar. The man was a husky, shorter than the average Wizard but very well built and stocky. Bright blue eyes seemed to stare into you, and his sandy brown hair was slightly graying at the temples.

"I would not keep you from you food any longer, for I am afraid Mr. Black may do himself a mischief." Again, Dumbledore smiled in James' direction. "So I will say this. What good is order without freedom, and freedom without truth? Tuck in." With a wave of his arms, the food magically appeared in front of them, and the Hall tables seemed to groan under the weight of it.

Sirius grinned with delight and grabbed at the food. The boys ate in silence, shoveling the food in eagerly while the girls talked among themselves. Afterwards, the Hall was dismissed and Lily shouted over the heads of the young students to remind the Prefects to take the first years to the dorms the long way.

James walked back to his room in silence. He peeled off his Hogwarts uniform and folded it on the floor for the House Elves to take care of before he changed into his pajamas and slipped in between the soft, warm sheets.

oooooo

The room was a swirling red hell.

A blinding light enveloped Lily's body, making her look as though caught in an emerald blaze. The glow seemed to come from her chest, wrapping her in silky layers of misty color that turned opaque, solid or transparently crystalline green. The shaded wall of emerald undulated around her like a living being. Lily's long mane of auburn flipped behind her as she concentrated, her forehead and shoulders slicked with a golden sheen of perspiration. The moment was suspended; time itself was asking her permission to carry on its ancient work. The blood-red hell tried to force itself against her, but Lily fought on blindly, her breath coming in ragged gasps. James saw her fight the dark red; saw her turn to him, her eyes wide. He heard her breath catch in her throat, watched her eyes fly open in shock.

He watched her beautiful form crumple.

He watched her hit the ground, long auburn hair spilling out behind her. He watched her gorgeous head bounce on the cold, hard floor. James saw her look at him, eyes pleading him to save her, to pick himself up and fight for her, for himself. He saw Lily's mouth form a word; he heard her struggle through the blood issuing from within her; he watched her, helpless, try to tell him something as her body betrayed her. Lily's chest gave a heave and blood splattered to the floor, landing in dark splotches and staining the whiteness. James saw her eyes flutter closed only to snap open a second later—her need to tell him outweighing the devastation her dying body wreaked upon her.

His own body failed him as he tried to crawl to her. James tried to speak her name, but an odd sound was all he could manage. A strange gurgling the only noise in the room. He was drowning in the desert, where there was no water. Drowning in a swirling red hell void of moisture, void of feeling, void of hope. Drowning...

James felt the tears pour down his face as he stretched a trembling hand towards Lily's shuddering frame. He felt the wetness trickle down the end of his nose. It couldn't be. There was no water in the desert, and yet here he was—drowning.

He felt his head start to fall, and in the silent swirling he heard laughter. High, cold laughter that sucked the heat from the room; took the warmth from his very body. He felt the floor turn to ice. It couldn't be. The desert is warm, and yet here he was—shivering.

James forced himself to look once more into Lily's eyes. The light which for so long had seemed dim was now gone completely. Gone forever. Cursing his legs for refusing to work, cursing his hands for their trembling, and cursing the swirling red hell for the numbing pain, James tried to reach her again. His own breaths were coming in gaunt gasps and his heart was beating loudly, echoing in his mind. He watched her.

He watched her struggle for breath once more. He saw her win a small battle and mouth the words 'I'm sorry'.

He saw her lose the war as death overtook her fragile body. Her chest heaved one last time—giving up her spirit—and then stilled. James watched her intently, praying through the blinding haze of pain that she would move again. Something inside of him broke, and the sobs that wouldn't come to him before surfaced. He watched her pale, freckled face as he called her name. Screamed her name. Bellowed her name with every last ounce of energy left inside him.

He watched her lifeless body refuse respond. He watched the blood-red glow take her. James watched her disappear. He felt a sharp stab of pain and he stopped watching and started listening.

He listened to the sound of laughter.

He listened to the sound of a world without her.

oooooo

"No. No, leave her alone. Lily! NO! LILY!"

"James, bloody hell James wake up!" James felt a sharp ache across his cheek. It didn't matter. Lily was dead. Nothing mattered. He fought against the invisible demons that grabbed at him; shaking him roughly. A small, traitorous part of his mind told him that he was being shaken awake. He shrugged it off, his arms flailing around him, fists hitting anything they came in contact with. Opening his hazel eyes, everything was blurry. Blurry. Dark, blurry figures moved blurrily around him, trying to restrain him. Some ancient warrior voice had sprung in his mind, taking over his emotions and reflexes. Something wasn't right. The room wasn't red. The laughter was gone, and so was Lily. Lily was gone, and so he hit all the harder.

"Hold his arms!"

"I'm trying Remus! It's a little difficult since he keeps hitting me, dammit!"

Again, the traitor voice spoke in the back of James' mind. They aren't trying to hurt you. They're trying to help. They are your friends.

"Back up, Remus. I've got this." James felt the room spin as a fist collided with his jaw. He felt himself fall backwards and land in the soft, smooth blankets. Soft? Wait a moment. The floor is cold and hard...

"Oh bloody hell James," he heard Sirius exclaim. "Why must you have a jaw of granite? Why? I think I broke my bloody hand."

James shook his head and sat up groggily, taking his glasses from Remus' outstretched hand. "Thanks. What—what happened?"

"You were shouting Lily's name in your sleep." Sirius supplied helpfully.

"And moaning the word 'No'," Remus added.

"Was it a sex dream, James," Peter squeaked excitedly and then shrank back from the glare on Sirius' face.

"No," James murmured softly as he sat back on his bed. "It wasn't like that. She...she died."

Sirius' grey eyes widened. "What happened," he asked James' white face.

"I don't know. It was horrible." James played with the bottom hem of his pajama shirt. "She was fighting something. There were lights everywhere...I—" James screwed up his face in concentration, trying to remember the events of something which was so vivid only moments ago. It felt like he was trying to hold silver water in his hands, and each time he clutched at it more would slip through his fingers. He looked up at the bed curtains, almost as if hoping to find an account of the nightmare written on them. They were red. Dark red. Swirling red hell. Blood red. Oh god, blood. Lily's blood. James leaned forward and retched at Sirius' feet. Remus reached over James' bedside table, which was already littered with pieces of parchment, a jewelry box, and even pictures though it was only the first day back, and got a glass of water. He held it out to James, who took it with a grateful "Thanks".

Remus spoke seconds later. "You need to go see Madam Pomfrey."

"No," James said before downing the rest of the water. I think I'm just going to head down to the Common Room. It's a little cold up here, and the fire will be nice and warm." He stood up shakily, but shrugged off Sirius' help with a snappish "I'm fine!" and headed down the stairs. Halfway down, he called over his shoulder "Don't follow me. I'm fine," he repeated. He padded into the warm room and settled down in his favorite armchair. Although it was summer in Scotland, the fire still blazed merrily in the hearth. In the Wizarding world, there were fires and then there were fires. Some were like Muggle fires, with warmth being their purpose. Some didn't produce heat at all, but they warmed the soul.

The real reason he was here was simple. James didn't trust himself to go back to sleep. That dream made him thoroughly scared; not for himself, but for Lily. James turned his head away from the fire and looked at the couch. It moved. He wondered why he would have a dream like that on the first day—hang on. The couch moved. James looked closer and saw long red hair spilling over the arm of the sofa. Sitting under a Gryffindor blanket, curled like a cat, was none other than Lily Evans herself.

The firelight was playing with her hair and breaking it into a spectrum of colors. Blazing coppers, ruby reds, strawberry blondes, chestnuts, and dark auburns were spilling to the floor, the flames dancing across her veil of thick, soft hair and turned it into a flaming, blazing waterfall that cascaded downward. James wondered what it would be like to touch that waterfall, to get immersed in it. He closed his eyes for a second and imagined the silken strands brushing over him, across his face and chest and arms. His hazel eyes flicked open again when he heard her move. Lily half stretched and leaned back against the chair, a smile playing on her lips. He wanted to touch her golden skin and kiss her lips. He looked back at the fire to clear his head. At the moment, however, he'd settle for a civilized conversation. This felt good, to just be with her. James heard her murmuring in her sleep.

"James"

James' body froze, but his head turned to fast his neck cricked six times in quick succession. His knuckles were white against the arm of the plush, embroidered chair and he felt himself pale. No, no it couldn't be him. Lily hated him. There had to be millions of people called James in this world. Despite his logical reasoning, however, his heart still lurched uncomfortably and the world seemed happier. She moved again, blinking rapidly and yawning. Her likeness to a cat was incredible. Even the way she arched her back...

"J-Potter?" Lily's emerald eyes widened. It was her turn to look shocked. She was starting to look enraged actually. "How long have you been watching me, Potter?" Her voice was deathly quiet. James thought he must have interrupted something important, or private, or both. He was just stupid enough for something like that, he thought.

James answered her, his voice deep and quiet. He was barely audible. "Since the first moment I saw you. Really saw you." He launched himself from the chair and headed up the Boy's staircase, resisting the urge to look back the entire time.

oooooo

The first week of school went without a hitch, for the most part. A few spats broke out between the Slytherins and Gryffindors, but nothing that wasn't easily handled by the Prefects. The Marauders had avoided pranks, at James' request. James and Lily had been studiously ignoring each other, and the situation wasn't helped by the fact that Head Boy and Girl duty didn't start until Thursday evening.

That Thursday evening finally came, and the two met up together in the Common Room. Dumbledore had talked to them both the day before. He had a way of calming people down. He'd managed to break up the ensuing argument without behaving as though there was an argument to begin with. Since James would do anything for Lily, and Lily would do anything to fulfill her duties, it looked as though things would run smoothly. The two stalked through the hallways, standing side by side; Lily examining the tapestries and James scrutinizing the woodwork.

"Thank you."

James turned around to face Lily. The last five minutes were spent it total silence apart from the steady clunk of hard shoes on the floor and the loud beating of his heart. "What?"

"I said 'thank you', Potter. For saving me the other day on the train." Lily looked at him and tossed her hair. James knew an olive branch when he saw one.

"Anyone would have done."

"Not really, Potter." Lily smiled nervously. "James."

James was shocked. He stammered a bit. "Well, it's nothing really. I mean anyone would have...I mean you're so beau— " James forced himself to cough, feeling himself redden at the bemused expression on Lily's face. "You're important and all."

Lily smiled once more before turning back to her tapestry-watching. "Thank you anyway."

James nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak.

oooooo

The next morning started uneventfully. After a quick breakfast in the Great Hall, James consulted his schedule. "Defense Against the Dark Arts this morning, Sirius."

"That should be fun," Sirius muttered as he slipped a piece of toast in his pocket. "Oi Moony!"

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"Time for classes. Get Wormtail."

Remus nodded and headed down the long isle to grab Peter, who was making a right nuisance of himself with the fourth year Hufflepuff girls, all of whom were giggling because he had egg on his robes.

They four made their way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and took their usual seats. Remus took out a quill and a whole stack of parchment in preparation to take notes, but James and Sirius just talked about Lily.

"She smiled at me, Padfoot. It was heaven" James shoved his glasses back on his nose. By the time he had gotten in last night, Sirius was already snoring away happily, so James figured he'd wait for a class that they would both do well in to talk about the night's events.

"If you will please open your books to chapter sixteen, we will discuss Magical Talismans and Ancient Prophesies," droned Professor Nelson. James noted that Remus sat up straight and immediately began taking notes. Overachiever, James thought with a grin. Sirius just yawned.

"Well, Prongs mate, keep it up. You've got to win her over, and I bet this was a good start."

Remus shot a look at them. "You two should listen. You might miss something important."

Sirius laughed. "Yes, mother." Remus snickered loudly.

"Heaven help me if I'm like your mother." Nodding in agreement, Sirius took out a quill and poked James with it.

"In the most Ancient prophesies, Non-Magic folk, or Muggles, are sometimes referred to as the 'Other', an allusion to their difference from Wizards and Witches."

"Sirius," James grinned at him. "What is up with you and Maichina?"

Sirius looked confused. "Mikey? Oh, we're sort of um...well I like her and she likes me and you have to admit she's smashing, James."

"Oh yes. Smashing." James rolled his eyes and threw a parchment wad at Remus' head. "Positively smashing. Since when do you say 'smashing'?"

"Something wrong with that, Jamie Boy?" Sirius was on two legs of his chair again, leaning back into the desk behind him.

"I never even alluded to the fact, Padfoot, mate. Just how smashing is she," James asked with a lopsided grin, his glasses askew on his face.

Sirius beamed and playfully hit James in the back of the head. "I'll smash you if you don't cut it out!"

"Oh I'm scared now," James muttered sarcastically.

"And well you should be." Sirius pointed out a clump of girls in the corner of the classroom. "Evans at two o'clock."

James whipped around to look, and, sure enough, there she was, sitting next to Aslyn as she copied notes down. He saw something fly at him out of the corner of his eyes and he ducked to miss it, promptly sliding out of the chair and on his behind. He fell with an Oof! and splayed out on the cold stone floor, a small wad of parchment landing with a soft swish on the floor. His head snapped up, and he saw Remus' look of shock.

"Sorry, Prongs. I was trying to get Padfoot back." Sirius was trying not to laugh like the rest of the class as Peter glared over Remus' shoulder. Lily looked like she was hurting herself. Remus extended a hand, and James clasped it to stand up. This was not his week.

oooooo

Saturday finally came, bright and beautiful, over the Hogwarts grounds. The four Marauders went outside buy the lake. Remus insisted on it, saying that they had to sit by the tree and bring a school book along for a 'study hall'. As soon as the tree came into view, James suddenly understood.

"Who knew, Moony. Aslyn must have had the same idea," James said in a monotone when the sunny chestnut-haired girl, who had been lounging on the grass, suddenly sprang up and waved in their direction frantically. "You two think alike, isn't that just so sweet. And scary."

"Please be nice." Remus turned to face his friend, his gray eyes pleading. "I like her a lot James. No funny business. Besides, Lily's there."

"How can you like her all that much when you've only just noticed her," James asked calmly, ignoring the remark about Lily. It's a bad thing when everyone knows your weakness.

"Well I—" Remus began to wring his hands. James was worried; he didn't want his friend to go through more stress that he had to. Being a werewolf can really take it out of a man. "I've been sending her owls all summer and she's been writing back. That's why I borrowed Phoenix from you. I didn't have my own, and she had Rogue so we switched and..."

"It's alright, Moony," James said. He clapped the werewolf on the back, briefly wondering if Aslyn knew. "You'd better go to her before her arm falls off. She really likes you."

Remus laughed while he shouted, "We'll be right there!" He turned to Peter and dropped his voice. "It might be best if you didn't talk to Cosmia anymore."

"Why," the squeaky little man demanded.

"She doesn't like it. You bother her, you brainless git. Can't you tell," Sirius stated this like a fact. Remus glared at him.

"There is a fine line between truth and tact, Sirius. The line is a dot in the distance to you."

"There's also a fine line between genius and insanity, and we all know how well I'm doing with that one too, don't we?" The boys sat down in the grass under the tree and talked. James Conjured lemonade while Sirius Conjured blankets and pillows. A few moments later, everyone was comfortable with lemonade and sandwiches, and although there was general conversation there seemed to be private signals going on as well.

Lily was leaning against the tree buried in a book about Ancient Runes. James sighed internally. She always loved Ancient Runes, where he could barely stand the class. But he took it, even if the only reason was because she was in the class as well. "Is it any good?" His voice startled her.

"Yes. Very good. I've gotten to the point where I can read it without a dictionary," Lily said smoothly. "It takes a lot of work though, and I'm still very slow." She took a sip of lemonade and looked back over the lake. "Do you like Runes?"

"Yeah." James resisted the urge to fluff up his hair. He remembered Lily say she hated that once. "But I'm no good at it."

"Oh I'm sure you're not bad, J-James." She stammered on his name again, clearly not used to saying it. James saw that she was trying to keep up the truce. A nice, civilized conversation. No hexing, no yelling, no name calling. It was very pleasant. "You always get good grades in class."

"Yes, but I use the dictionary. I could never do it out of my head like you. It gets jumbled. I forget tenses so easily."

"I used to do that!" Lily went on excitedly about how hard it was for her to remember and how in third year she finally came up with a trick to keep the verbs straight. James was listening intently until he felt someone prod him in the small of his back.

"What?" James turned to see Sirius, a look of utter loathing on his face.

"Snivellus," Sirius muttered as he pulled out his wand. "Excellent. We're going to hex him." It was true, Severus Snape was walking along the edge of the lake, reading a book and not paying attention to anything going on around him.

James' hand shot out and caught Sirius by the forearm. "No we aren't." He looked sideways at Lily. "We're going to leave Snape alone. We've changed, remember? We don't need to pick a fight."

Sirius shrugged him off. "That little bastard has had all summer to recover from the train ride back, and I haven't done anything all week at your request. We're doing something."

"No we aren't, dammit Sirius! You were the one who told me not to get into things like that this year."

"I don't care! WE ARE GOING TO HEX HIM," Sirius roared.

"NO WE ARE NOT," James bellowed. The girls were looking up at them, fright evident in their eyes. He was scaring them. Lily had gone white to the lips; Aslyn was clutching Remus before he sprang to his feet.

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" Remus was panting, his hand reaching for his wand.

The three stood in a rough triangle for a moment, each panting and shaking with rage or anger or both.

No one knew how he did it, but Snape managed to sneak up on the three without anyone paying attention. He shouted "Vastatum" and the spell hit James in the back. He fell to the ground clutching his head.

Sirius and Remus sprang into action, each using a different hex on the Slytherin. After Snape had been reduced to a green, oozing shell of his former self, the two boys turned to James. Lily had her wand pointed at his chest. Sirius began to move forward, but a restraining arm from Remus made him stop.

"Enervate"

James blinked up at her face. She was smiling at him. Sirius hauled him to his feet and brushed grass off him while Remus hunted the ground.

"Here," he said as James was reunited with his wand.

"Thanks. What happened?"

Sirius started to explain but Lily cut him off. "Nothing happened," she said as flocks of students came to the tree. "Nothing at all, James." She crossed her arms and dared anyone to defy her.

A Slytherin came up to her, anger on his face. "What the hell do you mean, 'nothing happened'! They bloody hexed him! You're Head Girl, there needs to be some punishment!"

Lily narrowed her eyes, but smiled. "I'm sorry. I must have—" she stressed her words, "had my back turned." She did and about face, swishing her long hair, and marched into the castle.

"That was odd," Sirius observed.

James nodded. "Very."

Copyright, Marshmellin 2005