Chapter 2 – A Snowball's Chance
McCoy sighed. "And I was just about to offer you a get-out-sickbay-free card if you'd introduce me to that angel. Now that's Jim's locked on to her, it's too late."
"Trust me, Doctor. I have known her for a very long time. The Captain's chances of success are…somewhat less than a snowball's in your mythological hell."
"So she's already spoken for?"
"To the best of my knowledge, she is currently unattached." Spock said, still looking extremely smug.
"Spock, are you trying to say that she, um," – damn, but bringing up sexuality with Vulcans was awkward – "isn't, um, exactly interested in men?"
Spock's head tilted slightly and McCoy could almost imagine him searching some internal database on human idioms. When the eyebrows rose slightly, he knew Spock had translated his question. "No Doctor. I believe I can state with reasonable certainty that she falls well within the heterosexual portion of the human attraction spectrum."
Now McCoy's eyebrows rose. He was about to ask precisely how he had come by that 'reasonable certainty', but Spock had returned his attention to Kirk approaching the bar.
McCoy had seen this play so many times it didn't even matter that he wouldn't hear what Jim said. He knew. Jim had honed his innate tactical skills with years of playing pick-up artist. He'd sit down next to her with that big country boy grin and ask if she minded, and then pick a strategy according to her response. A warm smile would mean the game would be over in minutes, but even 'Fuck off, dickhead!' would generally only take longer. Jim's failure rate was due primarily to interruption by other angry/jealous males.
McCoy glanced momentarily over at Spock. No, the Vulcan had none of that slight edge he sensed when Jim flirted with Nyota. In fact, he looked vaguely like someone waiting for the curtain to go up at the theatre. He turned his attention back to the bar, where Jim had just seated himself and grinned over at the lady – and saw the grin waver uncertainly. When Bones looked at the woman's face, he saw why and nearly dropped his drink: it was the most perfect imitation of a Vulcan's emotionless countenance that he had ever seen on human features.
"Damn! I wasn't expecting that." McCoy said eyes boring into Spock. "Now I wish I knew what she was saying."
"She said, 'There is no need to request permission. Your choice of seating is unlikely to affect me.' "
"Something tells me you know her at least as well as I know Jim."
Spock nodded ascent. "That and lip reading is a valuable skill for a bridge officer when a transmission's audio is lost or garbled." His almost-smile increased fractionally. "Lt. Uhura has been teaching me."
McCoy hastily shoved the image that conjured out of his head. But then he grinned. Maybe this was going to be interesting.
To be continued…
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Author's note: No, I promise, she is not a part Vulcan Mary Sue. However I may have a little fun with the fact that only Spock knows that.
And someday when I'm ready to write a romance, I will come up with a separate story about Nyota teaching Spock to read lips.
