Frigga and her younger son talked for a little while longer, about matters of no great consequence to themselves, their family or to Asgard as a whole. Although she was conscious of Sigyn's presence throughout, she did not draw her son's attention to her faithful handmaiden and Loki himself seemed quite ready to look anywhere but at Sigyn. If he had done so before, it might have meant nothing, but Frigga allowed herself a secretive smile at that, which fortunately seemed to pass by her son's normally keen eyes. Instead, he eventually stood, begging leave to go. Frigga embraced him again, then watched her brilliant, secretive child sweep out of the room, no doubt to find a book or to find solitude atop the palace's tallest tower as had been his wont from a tender age.
In some ways, she would rather he had stayed with her, where she could ensure that the bitterness that often possessed Loki when things did not go as he wished would not overwhelm him on this occasion. But while she had drawn as much as she could from her son, there remained one other that she felt she must speak to for, if she would not allow Loki to be forced into a loveless match, then she had no intentions of doing the same to Sigyn, even if every sign her handmaid had shown since Loki had entered argued against her having any objections to what Frigga was beginning to consider. It would take work on her part, not least to convince her husband of the wisdom of this idea, and she wished to be certain as well as to sow the seeds of her plan in Sigyn's own mind.
With many, she would have waited a short while at least, but there was no time. Admittedly, it was a slight possibility, but she did not wish to give Loki time to stew further in his own resentment if she could. Nor did she wish to allow Sigyn to recover her quiet reserve before she could speak to the girl. Least of all did Frigga wish her to speak to her sister, Nanna, wife of Balder. For all that Nanna no doubt wanted the best for her sister, the queen doubted her counsel would be to pursue the course that Frigga had in mind. No, this was best done now, before she could doubt her own wisdom.
But before she spoke, Frigga allowed herself the chance to consider Sigyn for a moment, thoughtfully, looking for the virtues Loki had named and others. It seemed to her that she would make a fine wife for her son. She was clever, but not so much that she would try to overshadow Loki. She knew sorcery. And, whatever Sigyn might think of herself, Frigga knew her to be a kind, compassionate soul – exactly the sort she wished as a companion for her turbulent, moody boy. Much as she loved him, she knew that Loki did not always make it easy for others to love him or even like him. That simply made this all the more important.
A moment passed and then she smiled. "Sigyn, I would prefer solitude for a while yet. If the others are waiting, please ask them to return after the midday meal." Carefully, the queen took up her needle and thread once more. "Once you have done that, come and join me. I would speak to you for a while."
As soon as Loki had left, Sigyn allowed herself a soft sigh of relief. It ha been easy to ignore them once the talk had turned to Asgard and other gossip, but ignoring them had her lost in her own turbulent thoughts. She longed to be able to leave the room, run to her home and think on own. That, or she would run to Nanna, curl up next to her sister and tell her all of her troubles, starting with that first moment she had ever looked on Loki with adoring eyes and ending with the confusing conversation that had just occurred.
But that did not seem to be her fate. At first, when Frigga suggested she wanted to be alone, Sigyn had thought she would be dismissed and she felt her body relax as she quickly stood, placing her sewing down on the table that stood next to her chair. Yet, her Queen continued her statement and Sigyn hid her grimace before turning back to her with a small smile.
"Of course, my Queen," she said quickly, moving to the door with her head bowed. She ducked out, found her fellow handmaidens and told them of the Queen's wishes, watched as they moved away, wandering about their own business now that they were free of their duties for the afternoon. Sigyn, with a sigh, turned and headed back to the room, took up her sewing and her seat closer to Frigga. She began to work on her sewing again, waiting respectfully to be spoken to before turning her eyes to Frigga again.
Frigga noted the soft sigh of relief that escaped her faithful handmaiden's lips and marked it as a good sign of sorts. In others, yes, it would have served as a sign of how they disliked her younger son's presence or company, and Frigga would have scolded them for it – if they had good reason to dislike Loki, then she would listen and chide him appropriately, but all too often it was gossip and rumour and she wanted none of either in her presence, nor among her handmaidens. But Sigyn was never the sort to listen to rumours. Frigga had noted that the girl had a way of listening to all sides of a story before making up her own mind which, once she had done so, was as nigh-immovable as her son's. It was one reason why she believed they might make a good match.
Nor could she help but see the relief that filled the girl's form as she began to speak. It was a pity, because she did not wish to embarrass or taunt Sigyn, and yet the younger woman clearly would have preferred to be excused with the other handmaids for now. She felt sympathy, naturally, but it did not deter her from her chosen course. If she allowed that, then while it would save the two some embarrassment in the present, it would lose them the possibility of future happiness. Even before she had been married to Odin, Frigga had known the truth of that and she did not want to see either her son or Sigyn throw this chance away simply because they were uncomfortable or distrustful. That would be a shame and a waste, particularly now that she had given Loki her word that she would help him and the perfect candidate sat beside her.
She sat quietly, sewing elegant designs into the fabric of a tunic, while Sigyn briefly stepped outside to pass along her instructions. It would pain her too to lose her companionship and skill with sorcery and at sewing. Sigyn was a good girl and a loyal companion. But she had many who could fill that void. The feeling she had thought she saw between the two was rarer and Frigga, who had marriage in her own remit, did not mean to stand in the way of it herself, nor to let her occasionally meddling husband do so. Even if Loki was not hers in blood, he was her son in every way that mattered.
Sigyn swiftly returned, sitting down beside her and concentrating on her sewing with an intensity that, again, almost reminded Frigga of Loki when he was reading and wished to be left to himself. A fond smile pulled at her lips. "So," she said after a minute had passed in solemn silence. "My younger son is to be married." Carefully, she reminded herself, carefully. "I would hear your thoughts on this matter, Sigyn – perhaps you have some... insight on this matter that might elude Odin or myself. We are, after all, his parents and do not see all sides of him. What do you think of my son?" She kept her tone soft, pleasant, conversational, but her eyes were intent on Sigyn.
She meant no disrespect by any of her actions. Her relief had not been the need to get away from Frigga out of any dislike for her company, but because Sigyn herself was still reeling from the conversation. She valued her time with Frigga, comfortable in a place where she was needed and wanted, where her company was appreciated. She valued that the Queen sometimes sought her opinions, or otherwise felt her a worthy companion for the quiet talks they sometimes shared. It was an honor Sigyn had never thought to cherish.
Yet now, she valued the silence and the careful little stitches she was embroidering. It was comfortable and natural, and she could allow her mind to wander if Frigga did not bring up another subject. She could try to calm her mind, to push the dark young prince out. Yet he almost haunted her, with his piercing eyes and knowing smile. That moment she had caught his eye, caught him looking at her and the kindness in his voice as he spoke her name had ended her normally stoic self-reserve, and now she found he occupied all of her thoughts.
At Frigga's words she looked up, her bright blue eyes widening again as she took in the question. This was dangerous territory, a question that was more a field of traps than a conversation and she found her mind scrambling to come up with what to say.
"I do not believe my wisdom could ever match yours in this matter," she began slowly, "A Mother surely knows what is best for her son. Yet, if you ask my council of what I think of Prince Loki, I am afraid I do not know him well. He was always kind to me when we were children, and it is well known that none can match his wits. Any woman should be honored by such a match."
Her voice was soft, thoughtful. She was not confident that she fully understood the question being posed. Sigyn would never question the All-Father's words, for he knew always what was best for Asgard. She would be jealous, she knew. She would be heartsick when he married, but she would not express any of that to the woman before her. She had only just begun to express the emotions to herself.
Sigyn's surprise was honest, at least. Frigga could easily tell that much from the shock that readily spread across her handmaiden's face and the sharp way that she looked up from the sewing in her lap. In this matter, at least, the young girl seemed to have very little ability to hide her feelings, which made the queen willing to believe that they were honest feelings, rather than the younger woman feigning what she felt she wanted to hear. She had no reason to believe that of Sigyn, none at all. But when it came to her sons' wellbeing, she had to be certain in all respects. Still, she gave the girl the time she needed to answer. There was no use in forcing it out of her, for Frigga knew that, if she asked it, Sigyn would admit to everything she felt, but it would humiliate her. She would not do that, particularly not here when it would be utterly useless. No, she allowed the girl to frame her thoughts.
As Sigyn spoke, Frigga listened with a gentle and encouraging smile, nodding in agreement with the answers she heard. It was what she had expected from the quiet, withdrawn girl. Nothing too personal, just enough to appear that she had answered the question without saying too much. It was superficial, or at least she hoped, and not from the heart. She would ask again.
"There is no need to flatter me," she assured her handmaiden. "I might know what I think is best for my son, but I also know I see only one or two or a few of his many sides. His father sees another. You may see still others. I remember that my son tutored you in sorcery for a while. Tell me about that." Still, there was one thing in there which gave her hope. Loki was kind to her. That was... unusual. Certainly, Loki was not always malicious and cruel, but rarely did he go so far as to show actual kindness to others without reason. It was not in his nature. Frigga held a hand out, touching the girl gently on the arm. "But do not tell me what you think you should tell me. Just be honest." She smiled again. "I assure you, I will not be angry. I know my son is not perfect. Neither of my sons is."
Her smile turned wry. "But asking Loki about something like this is as easy and simple as extracting blood from a stone. Nor would Amora readily betray his confidences, I think, even if I asked. I would know what you think of him – your thoughts, not what you think I should hear. I assure you, your words will not pass these four walls. But I do not wish, as I said, to force him into a match he does not want with a woman he cannot love. Please, Sigyn, help me."
Sigyn nodded, thinking of how to best phrase her feelings now that she felt she could not give her platitudes. She would not lie to Frigga, and thanks to her calm tone and careful smile, truly felt no need to lie. She was so kind, and perhaps Sigyn would find the comfort she wanted from Nanna in her words.
"I do not know him well," she said softly, looking down at her hands for the moment, instead of into the Queen's face, "There were moments at the academy when he spoke to me. He was kind where others thought it a game to talk of me and my looks. He had said once, that he thought my looks suited me and as a young girl that was something that will always endear me to him. Our lessons were lessons and though I can not say he was always patient with me I could not have asked for a better instructor."
She paused for a moment, feeling the blush in her cheeks and her neck. Slowly, she looked back into Frigga's eyes, wondering what judgment would be found there, though now that she had started talking she was not ready to stop.
"I do not think any of this will help you in your decision, and for that you have my apologies. I know of your son what I observe of him. He is quiet, intelligent, yet quick to anger. He needs a woman with patience for that anger and understanding of the emotion that is behind his silence. As he has expressed it, he needs a woman who will give him some sort of a challenge in conversation. He needs someone who will appreciate fully what makes him so different from the men of Asgard, instead of finding in it anything to fear or pity or scorn."
Her voice had gained some determination behind it, her hands clasped together in her lap. She realized that she had probably misspoken, shown too much of her true feelings. Even when asked for such honesty she normally kept something of herself hidden. There was something frightening about being on display in front of someone with so much power, no matter how much affection was shared between them. But she could not take it back now, so she did not look away as she waited for Frigga's words.
It seemed that she had taken precisely the right approach in asking Sigyn for her help as she had, for her handmaiden nodded and took the time to set her thoughts in order. It was a familiar sight, Sigyn with her eyes lowered and her mouth set in a very particular expression as she sorted through whatever it was that occupied her mind at that moment. Frigga had always appreciated that about her – she was not one to allow the views of others to override her own and she felt that it spoke well of the younger woman that she refused to be pressured into an opinion until she had thought it through herself. It also meant that, while she was still young and innocent, when Sigyn gave advice to anyone, it was thoughtful and considered and, if not always correct, then at least it was right.
A fine trait in a wife and, although she had not thought of it in that way, an equally fine trait in a woman, who, if events unfolded as Frigga planned, might be Queen of Asgard herself in time. Certainly, a King needed a wife and Thor showed no inclination towards marriage – the Allfather kept his counsel on this matter, but perhaps this was a sign of favour towards Loki? Frigga put that aside. In all matters, she loved her sons equally and she would not allow herself to unduly favour one over the other. What Odin did as King was a matter for him and him alone. He had to do what was best for Asgard although, if Frigga was truly honest, neither son was truly ready for that burden. If one was more prepared... No. She would not even think it.
In any case, Sigyn had begun to speak, the words coming slowly but surely from her lips as she laid out her thoughts before her queen. Frigga sat silently, nodding encouragingly, always smiling as she listened. It was not hard, for none of what her handmaiden said displeased her in the slightest. And yet, she was listening more for how she spoke about her son than what she said. True, it was a good sign that Loki had been kind to her, more so that he thought her lovely, for that is how Frigga marked the words about Sigyn's appearance suiting her. But it was better that Sigyn spoke of him fondly and that she continued to blush as she spoke.
There was no judgement in Frigga's eyes as Sigyn met her gaze, only approval and delight. She allowed the younger woman to finish speaking before she stood and walked over to rest one hand on her shoulder. "There is no need to apologize. I asked for the truth and you gave it. More, you have been very helpful, Sigyn." She paused, meaningfully. "Indeed, I believe that I have found the perfect wife for my son already. That is, of course, if she wishes it as well." Frigga's hand squeezed Sigyn's shoulder gently.
Sigyn was grateful her Queen was still smiling when she had first met her eye, grateful for the kindness she was always favored with. Frigga was a wise woman, but more so she was compassionate. Sigyn never felt fear in her presence, or that she was just a prop to be enjoyed. Now, with her asking opinions on Loki, she appreciated it more, though she was still nervous that she was speaking too close to her own heart.
She had reasoned that, if Frigga wanted the truth, than it was not a true crime to reveal her feelings. She had no expectations of this conversation, outside of answering those questions posed to her. It was freeing to speak words she had kept hidden in her heart for so long, some of the thoughts coming to her as they fell from her lips, the last part of her speech shocking even her.
She did not know what to expect when Frigga stood, and she immediately turned her eyes to the floor. If she had spoken out of turn, Frigga would have already scolded her, she was sure. Instead of the chastising she had expected, she felt the Queen's gentle hand rest on her shoulder, and she turned her head to look up at her.
She nodded, her lips pursing slightly as Frigga spoke, telling her she had been most helpful. On one hand she was glad to have been helpful, as she always was, yet on the other she was aware that she had just helped the Queen come to a decision that would only bring her sadness.
"May I ask whom you—" she paused, her eyebrows knitting as the words and their significance seemed to catch up with her, "My Queen?"
She was terrified to be reading into the words more than she should. Presumptuousness was not an attractive trait, nor one she was used to. She preferred to keep opinions to herself, view all options before her, and yet it seemed when it came to the matters of her heart her words were coming from her mouth before she so much as thought of them.
Frigga frowned when Sigyn quickly turned her gaze to the floor as she stood. She had not meant to frighten her, had meant only to support her, but she had forgotten how... easy it was for a girl to be intimidated in the presence of a mother, let alone when that mother was Queen of Asgard. Still, as she pressed her hand to her shoulder, Sigyn seemed to calm before Frigga's words struck home and she took upon the look of a startled animal.
"I think you know," Frigga softly assured Sigyn, her hand resting on her handmaiden's shoulder supportively as the girl seemed to tremble like a leaf, her expression fluttering with fear or so it seemed to the queen. But it was clear that it was not so much fear of her as fear of the situation, fear of hoping for something that one had believed impossible and which was now being dangled before her eyes. Fear, in short, that she would reach for it and find that it was illusion. Fear that she would not be able to survive her dream being shattered before her eyes. The knowledge lent Frigga's motherly smile a sad edge. It was a look she wished dearly never to see on either of her sons' faces.
But, for now, she was alone with a frightened girl, and she sank into a seat beside Sigyn, her hand remaining in place comfortingly. "Fear not. I asked for your thoughts because I wanted to judge how you truly felt about my son. He is not an easy one to love, as I have said, and he finds it hard to think well of others. Marriage to him will not be easy for whoever marries him, or for Loki. But I believe that you have the strength and the intelligence and the heart to do so – if you truly love him." She raised a hand. "Hush. Do not speak to me. Go, think over what we have spoken." A small, secretive smile played over the Queen's lips, mischief in her eyes for an instant. "Perhaps you might find the High Tower suitable for contemplation? I believe Loki uses it for such at times."
She was hinting, yes, but she dared not do much more. Her son had a suspicious mind and overt meddling would be cause for him to wreck her plans whether he wished to wed Sigyn or not. Loki was, as the saying went, prone to cut off his nose to spite his face. But she nodded a dismissal to Sigyn, reassuring the girl that she could go. Frigga had yet to convince Odin Allfather of the wisdom of this course, and that would be a battle all by itself regardless of Loki's touchy pride.
