The darkness beyond the window was increasingly stifling, it felt as though the whole world was crashing around him, crushing from his lungs every breath and from his heart, the pulsing blood needed to keep him alive. He had to stop every now and then to catch his breath, keep himself upright. The stars glittered down on him like a mocking reminder that there was life beyond his own suffering and he desired nothing more than for the oblivion to swallow them up too. The door clicked shut softly and it only did to grate on his nerves further, it was an odd thought that one, to miss the sound of banging and clumsiness.

"Evening sire, I've brought you supper." Even that voice irritated him, smooth, barely a whisper and dripping with every ounce of respect a servant should have for his liege.

"I'm not hungry." Arthur growled and moved away from the window to observe the servant. He was shorter than Merlin, with light mousey hair. His face was tanned and dark freckles littered his face. Everything thing about the boy (and his properly proportioned ears) grated at the Prince's frustration and despite the fact he could see the boy was trying desperately to be a good servant, he wasn't Merlin.

"Very well, Sire. Shall I leave it here for you in case you change your mind?" Arthur didn't answer but moved to his bed and threw himself back on it. He ignored the boy until he had left, the door shutting swiftly and carefully behind him.

He had no reason to miss Merlin, it had been his fault that the man wanted nothing to do with him, his fault for giving into temptation. Besides that, it was un-princely to give in so easily to this ridiculous and wasteful emotion. It wasn't even as though Merlin had really gone far. True enough that every time he'd past him in the corridors or courtyard Merlin had conveniently been needed somewhere else, or found a room to hide himself in till Arthur had passed. And truer still that Merlin had not once spoken to him since he'd left the boy's room two months ago.

They'd been in the same hall last week for Morgana's birthday and whilst Arthur's new servant had been busy fetching more wine from the kitchen, Merlin had passed him and had not even raised his head to Arthur as he wished Morgana a happy birthday when Uther had not been around to berate him for inappropriateness. He'd not even turned when Arthur had stood behind him to share a joke with them both. In fact he had stiffened and edged away from them before Arthur had finished his sentence.

The door opened again and ignoring it, Arthur turned away from it and flicked his legs onto the bed.

"You miss him?" He hated Morgana, her ability to read his mind was oddly disturbing and annoying. How dare she even bring it up? How dare she keep entering his room whenever it took her fancy?

Sitting up to stare coldly at her, he shook his head. "Who?"

"Merlin of course." The words sounded so familiar to their riding conversation all those months ago and even now they managed to echo in his head, mocking him like the rest of the world for his stupidity and obliviousness.

"Don't be silly." He answered and ducked his head away, if she saw his eyes she'd manage to draw out every last ounce of private thoughts.

"He misses you too. Gwen says he's not the same as he was, not as happy. You should go see him." The statement didn't even warrant a reply so he remained silent, pretending she had not spoken. It was a ridiculous idea anyway; Merlin had made it clear that he did not want to see him ever again. "You don't have to be in love with him Arthur, but you were still friends weren't you? You shouldn't feel ashamed to miss him. I'd miss Gwen terribly if she was not around."

"I'm not the same as you though. Merlin was not my friend, he was my servant. He was employed."

"You didn't employ him to sleep with you. You didn't employ him to die for you or to stick up for you. He was far more loyal than any other servant; far more than your new man. Gwen said Merlin looked sick when she told him you had found someone to take his place, it's obvious he wants you to take him back."

"No, Morgana. What he wants is for me to tell him I'm in love with him and I'm not really going to say anything like that, am I?"

Morgana sighed and sat on the bed beside him and looked at the dining table where the meal was still sat. Steam wafted the smell across to them but Arthur didn't look as though he was in any mood to sit down and eat so it was left ignored. He growled something under his breath and turning, Morgana offered a simple smile and stood again.

"Why not go prove you're the bigger man, above all this servant/master crap and go find Merlin?" She left with a small smile and closed the door only part way.

He figured that was just the thing with Morgana, so easily caught up in her romantic notions that she failed to see the reality of this life. Even if he did love Merlin, and he absolutely refused to believe such a thing anyway, such a relationship could never exist between them. Arthur was the Prince of Camelot, the future King.

It was hard though, not to keep remembering how this new servant failed to excite him in the ways Merlin had: Merlin who had argued with him, mocked him; refused a good percentage of his orders and Merlin who had lain beneath him looking utterly terrified and then gloriously delighted in a matter of minuets. Merlin even managed to make him laugh on the odd occasion, make him smile when he was stressed. Arthur was only vaguely aware of how cheesy it all sounded and how it all went against everything he had just claimed: he did not love Merlin.

It was as much of a surprise to him as it was to anyone else that he found himself leaving his chambers and storming down the corridors. As he moved, servants and Knights alike stepped aside to let him pass through and it was only on the stairs that he had any real destination in mind. Gaius' chambers were less than a few feet away and he was heading straight for it without and real indication as to why or how he'd gotten there.

However, he was now stood before it, fist rapping against the splintering wood with urgency he didn't even know he felt.

"Ah, sire." The elderly physician sounded almost as startled as Arthur felt. The old frame stood in the doorway, looking out at Arthur through dirt speckled glasses. Brow furrowed into a disapproving frown; one which had always shamed Arthur as a child into ducking his head and spilling his truths.

"Gaius. I'm looking for- Was wondering whether- Is Merlin here?"

Gaius, if it were possible, looked mildly amused as he bowed his and shook it gruffly. Eyes peering over his spectacles as he answered in his usual simmering on exhaustion tone, "No sire, I'm afraid not."

"Very well then, can you tell me if has yet to seek employment elsewhere?"

Gaius sent him a crooked smile and shook his head in the negative. "No, he has not. He is simply picking up my much needed supplies from the market." Arthur nodded.

"Sorry to have wasted your time then." He bowed and spoke with the courteous tone that had been installed since birth, but a tone that held almost no sincerity.

0AoM0AoM0

He heard him way before he saw him; the stomping footsteps resounding on the concrete floor behind him. Arthur froze, one foot lowered on the step beneath him, the other balanced on the edge of the corridor floor. Merlin came into view around the far corner, he could not see Arthur by the looks of it, he held a basket to his chest and bottles and jars of herbs and powers threatened to spill of the tightly wound edge of the container.

His mouth hung open but the words he had meant to form did not come out and so when he stepped back up on the main landing; an attempt to thwart Merlin's attempts to return to Gaius' chambers. The servant was already passing him before he managed to regain control of his limbs. He thrust a hand toward Merlin and tapped the boys arm. Proving how utterly terrible he was, he yelped in shock and stumbled, the basket fell from his grip and with a clatter rolled down the stairs. If it weren't for Arthur's unyielding grip on the boy's upper arm, he'd surely had followed suite. Instead he had been held back by the Prince; his back pressed tightly into the others chest, Arthur's warm breath fluttering across his hair.

Arthur could not have imagined how good it would feel to have that body pressed to him again, a small smirk settled on hips lips and it was all his will power that prevented a satisfied sigh from escaping his lips; it felt too right to be like this, like the past two months troubles all disappeared and that night loomed in some harsh nightmare. Temptation, as it always had, churned inside him, that neck; hidden behind that ridiculous scarf, those disproportioned ears, those perfectly shaped lips… All of it, all there ready and waiting for Arthur to attach himself to.

It was still late and the racket was sure to have woken up a few nearby. "You shouldn't be out." He whispered, though there really was no need for such in the wake of the smashed jars and spilled medical supplies. Merlin shivered against him before answering:

"There's no law against it anymore…"

It was true enough and there were a good amount of people out besides them. In fact, he'd passed at least half the servants in the castle on his way here.

"You can let me go now, sire."

To Arthur's horror Merlin sounded almost respectful, as though he had not been the annoying, persistent pain in his backside for the best part of a year. He sounded as though he did not know Arthur as anything more than his Sovereign. It was that shock that held Merlin closer, until the raven haired boy struggled in the grip and wriggled his way free.

"Merlin-"

But he didn't answer, he walked till he reached the first item on the floor and then swooped down to take the broken glass in his hands, and then to take up the grass like plant that had been contained in it. Arthur followed and swept some of the shards into his outstretched palm, he'd force Merlin to speak to him somehow.

"I'm sorry…"

When he received no answer he curled his fists in frustration; momentarily forgetting the glass and remembering seconds before the glass pierced. It would do him some good though, to feel pain; bring his senses back to the present rather than the fact Merlin's pale skin was glowing in the mix of moon and candle light. So he let himself bleed, wincing and hissing more the necessarily as the first shot of pain tingled through his hand.

At the noise, Merlin turned and his eyes roamed down to Arthur bleeding hand. "Are you ok?" Arthur would have smiled at the gentle concern written over Merlin's face and words.

"No." He moved closer to his servant, or rather, his ex-servant. Close enough that had he wanted to he could have kissed him with barely moving an inch. Merlin shivered again and looked away. Arthur wanted to break, tell Merlin everything that Morgana had already guessed. He missed him and whilst he knew he had no right to expect forgiveness, he needed Merlin to at least speak to him, look at him without looking so damn hurt. He reached up to touch Merlin's cheek with his uninjured hand. He watched intently as Merlin's eyes fluttered closed and smiled sadly despite the fact he wanted to berate himself for the weakness.

"Come back with me, Gaius will give you something for that." Arthur shook his hand and dropped his hand to his side.

"I wasn't talking about my hand…"

For the first time since they'd slept together, Arthur witnessed pure unchecked anger on Merlin's face; the skinny servant turned and with a glare that put even the King to shame, fixed his attention on Arthur; whom wriggled ashamed under the gaze.

"You don't have any right to feel anything." The blond was shocked beyond words, though Merlin had never thought highly of social class before and had never been unable to make comment on his feelings and opinions; this was quite beyond him; so much hatred oozing between his words. "You made me feel like crap." Arthur raised his brow in shock but Merlin seemed not to notice. "And now you want another go so you come back and mess with my head, try to make me feel sorry for you with your stupid cut hand…" And there is was a glimmer of the old Merlin, petulant, childish; idiotic and too caring for his own good.

It was very clear that he did not think the wound stupid; he'd immediately asked if he was alright, looked up at him with that beautiful narrow face etched with concern. He'd been so focused on the old Merlin he'd nearly forgotten the rest of what he'd said. He shook his head in the unprinceliest manner and reached out.

"I don't want to mess with you. I don't want that… I want you- your clumsy and pathetic attempts at being a manservant. I'm not going to beg you to come back; I'm just saying that if you change your mind, you're always welcome."

He was sure Merlin almost smiled at that as he looked away. But he didn't answer and all it did was fuel further frustration inside him. He could order Merlin back, march him to his chambers and force him to work but somehow, having Merlin by force did not feel the same as him coming willingly.

"Merlin-" He winced at his own voice sounding so whiny but could do nothing to remedy it now.

"I've got to get this done." And he stepped away as best he could and swooped down to pick up more of the herbs that had fell furthest from the Prince. He knew when to give up and at least for now he'd give Merlin what he wanted. With a sigh he stepped back and then moved away down the corridor, missing the way Merlin collapsed to the floor and sat on the stairs for an hour after his departure.

0AoM0AoM0

"Right, so you're just going to give up?" Morgana had the knack of making even the most stubborn of men want to put up their hands in surrender and even as she just stared at him; glowering, Arthur could feel himself ready to give in and beg forgiveness, anything to make her stop staring. He swallowed instead and turned back to the window, steeling his shoulders and neck as though in defence, he was sure it was a bad idea to turn his back on her…

"Arthur… You are the most- You know what, I don't care. Sit there and pout, Merlin deserves better anyway. I told you that, I told you he's not like you; he doesn't do fighting and your silly games."

He did turn to her at that, ready to snap at her or at least tell her she was wrong. Instead all he could do was close his mouth again and stare at the floor by her feet. He hated defeat but he had no ready-made comment or defence, he was and he knew it, in the wrong.

There was a knock on the door and it broke the silence at least. "Enter." Morgana called when it seemed Arthur would not. Gwen's head poked around the corner, she smiled at her mistress and then to Arthur before returning to look directly at Morgana.

"Do you need anything, Milady, or may I ride with Merlin? He is going to collect some herbs for Gaius, said he'd done something to the ones he got yesterday… I offered to help if it was ok with you." She was smiling shyly, seemingly uncomfortable with the amount of attention both Arthur and Morgana were giving her, finally Morgana nodded and sent her off before leaving with one last glare to Arthur.

"Gwen…" He heard her call, "Hold on and let me change, I'd like to come with you both." With a suppressed growl he stalked forward and slammed the door shut, he hated her more than anything else, she was right and he knew it but it didn't mean he liked it. Merlin did deserve better and he wouldn't put it past her to make sure he did get better. Most likely with Gwen, he hated her too. It angered him most though, that he was unable to identify exactly why he hated them both, so what if Merlin and Gwen were together? It made no difference to him; he just wanted Merlin's service and friendship, his personal life made little difference to him.

0AoM0AoM0

"Merlin! Merlin, hold on!" The boy was making good use of those long limbs as he sprinted through the trees.

For reasons unknown to him, he'd followed Merlin from Camelot through the Forest and to the lake beyond. He'd been doing patrol duty too, just turned on his heel and chased after Merlin without a word to his guard, he'd called to him several times and the first time, Merlin had turned his head, took note of him and then took sprinted and Arthur was only mildly ashamed to realise that his servant was a much speedier and more agile person than himself. Why those legs had never been put to good use before though was beyond his understanding and was mildly affronted that the other had gotten away for so long with acting as though his only pace was 'Turtle Speed'.

"Damn it Merlin! I order you to stop now!" He called, his voice echoed in the trees but nothing else came of it, the brunette only ran faster. The faster Merlin moved the faster Arthur was forced to do the same, only he couldn't keep up and as sweat ran down his face, the boy seemed to lose himself beyond the Prince's reach.

"MERLIN!" He tried one last time and nothing, within minuets he was gone, out of sight and that panic had him screaming his name. It seemed to go on for hours before someone grabed his shoulders…

It's not the most elegant of awakenings but he's sure he's never been as pleased to wake as he is now.

"Sire?"

"Get off me." Arthur growled, and pushed the servant; whose name he still can not be bothered to know, away from him. He sat up, drenched in his own sweat and wondering fretfully why any dream or nightmare or whatever it was, should involve Merlin running from him.

He can't bare it any longer, it's been another month. Three months since he'd really had a proper conversation with his manservant, ex-manservant, he corrects bitterly. And another day is going to kill him; quite literally too, he fears.

He pushes back the covers and locates his clothes from the end of the bed before leaving his startled new servant to wonder what he was supposed to do now.

0AoM0AoM0

Merlin was stood in the Courtyard talking to Gwen as Arthur stood at the top of the stairs watching with beady eyes as Gwen laughs, leans forward and pecks Merlin's cheek before turning and with one last wave and disappeared in a side door he knew was a short cut to Morgana's corridor.

It seems as though Merlin is about to head his way when he suddenly spots Arthur, pauses in his movements then turns away and heads in the opposite direction. It is only then, with Arthur following close behind, does a third figure appear.

Lord Byrne. He is a tall, bearded fellow from his father's court and notorious for his thuggish ways. Arthur frowns in confusion as the man barks an order and Merlin turns to follow him.

"No Boy, I told you to report to me!" He's caught up with Merlin now and even as the Prince observes them both, he slaps Merlin around the back of the head. Arthur's sure his eyes pop out as he watched Merlin cringe momentarily before muttering something Arthur presumes to be an apology; and to which is confirmed when Byrne speaks again.

"Yes, damn right you are sorry. I do not like my servants to slack off from their duties; I've already told you, you'll be punished for every wrong doing until you get it through your thick head what I expect from you. Got it?" The man growls at him, one bear like hand grabbing Merlin's upper arm.

Merlin would be dead by the end of the week; the fool couldn't do a damn thing right in Arthur's service, what made this man any different? He could barely stand the idea of Merlin being flogged and tortured for his incapability's. In fact, it made him sick to his stomach to imagine all that beautiful snow-white flesh ruined by welts and scars, blood and bruises.

He was acting before he'd even taken a moment to linger further on a course of action.

"Excuse me, sir." He added out of politeness such a monster did not deserve. "You seem to have my Manservant."

"I don't work for you!" Merlin's insolent voice cried out at him but it was ignored by both men.

"I'm sorry My Lord but I think not, this child has been under my employment since early last week."

"That may be true but I'm afraid-"

"I don't work for you anymore!" Merlin shouted now,

"Dare you talk to the Crowned Prince in such a way?" The man growled, practically shaking the brunette and holding on to him tighter.

Arthur ignored Lord Byrne in favour of staring Merlin down, putting on a Princely-air, so well practiced other the years he used his superiority to win his favours. "As Prince of Camelot I decide who does and does not work for me, understand?" He returned to Byrne with a dark glare, daring him to refuse. "I'm am afraid, sir that you have been deceived. I have not given Merlin leave and therefore he is still under my employment. You will have to find another servant." He paused, unsure how exactly he'd managed to go this far without actually thinking a word of it through. "As a sign of my sincerest apologies on the matter I shall send you one of my best men, you will not go without for long."

He grabbed Merlin's other arm and tugged, Byrne seemed not to want to let go and for two ridiculous seconds the pair of them played a game of tug of war with Merlin in the middle. It was only at Merlin's squeaked 'ow' did Arthur let go with alarm; Byrne followed suite and looked sheepishly at Arthur with barely contained anger simmering under the surface.

"Very well My Lord, how can I refuse, my liege's fine offer?" He bowed and with one last glowering look at Merlin stalked off.

"What did you do that for? I need to work, Arthur!"

"Did you not hear? You work for me."

"No."

"Merlin…" He warned.

"No." The insolent boy repeated and stormed towards the gates, far from Byrne and further from Arthur. But he wasn't about to give up yet, he couldn't. He'd won him back; he'd saved him from certain cruelty. Admittedly by sending another to that doom but all the same, Merlin was worth more than 'what's-his-name?' who'd sought the job after his Merlin vacated it.

"Merlin!" No reply. He followed a few feet behind, walked with Merlin as he stumbled through the forest; eerily like his dream but without the blasted running.

"Merlin, wait." Still no answer but he knew better than to keep calling, so he followed silently, allowing Merlin some space.

The afternoon sun was well up in the sky by the time Merlin stopped by the shore of the lake. A soft breeze rippled the water's surface and a few fish jumped up, leaving ringlets here and there. The trees around them swayed in the light spring breeze and the freshness of the air relaxed the tension between them. Merlin sniffed but he wasn't crying; not yet at any rate, he just stared off at the mountains in the distance, pretending Arthur was not behind him.

"Merlin." He breathed, standing as close behind him as he dared.

"You had no right!"

"He'd have worked you to death, I know him. He'd him whipped you, tortured you when you got it wrong!"

"What makes you think I'd get it wrong?"

"Merlin…"

"Where am I supposed to work?"

"With me… Merlin, please listen to me? I had too; I had to get you away from him. I couldn't bare the thought of him hurting you, you deserve better." He voiced Morgana and shuddered at the thought.

"I can look after myself."

"No you can't. You're useless, clumsy, and loud, you can't follow orders and when you do you mess it up, you back chat, you mock, you make unnecessary messes. You're loyal and you challenge me, you force me to be better, you make me see sense and you make me laugh. I've never had a servant like you… That snotty-nose boot licker bores me, Merlin, and as a citizen of Camelot you should feel obliged so save me from that boredom."

Merlin laughed at that and Arthur himself was smiling. He hadn't realised that his hands had been holding the boy's shoulders. "Please…"

"I can't forgive you."

"I'm not asking you too, I'm asking you to come back and work for someone who isn't going to near kill you in order to get breakfast on time."

"No, but you'll bully me and call me names." But Merlin was smirking and Arthur could near enough see the perfected banter between them becoming more and more as it had once been.

"If I didn't you'd have no reason to do the same back, then where would we be?"

"Bored."

"Exactly. Now, you coming back to the castle, you moron? My legs ache and I'm filthy now. I'll need a bath and a fresh set of clothing; these will need to be washed too of course. I'm feeling peckish too, haven't had breakfast, you'll need to fetch lunch. And after that my armour needs mending, my sword sharpening…"

Merlin laughed softly and followed slowly behind Arthur as the Prince listed off every job in existence that he needed Merlin to do, not once waiting too see if Merlin followed or if he did indeed intend to get his job back.

"Oh, and Merlin?"

"Yeah?"

"Yes what…"

"Prat?"

"Merlin." He growled in feigned annoyance.

"What, sire?"

"I'm sorry I don't love you…"

"I'm sorry that I do." He answered after a beat; His face down and resigned.

Though he doesn't know how it happened or why it happened so quickly after months of nothing, Arthur has never felt so glad to have Merlin at his side. He won't question it now, not now he has finally won. And he won't question that exciting bleep in his heart that bounces and rejoices that Merlin's back and he'll ignore too how in his heart of heart's, he isn't just glad Merlin will in time forgive him, he's glad because really, someone loves him and that someone is the one person Arthur himself can imagine loving in return. Someday… Maybe.