Quinn,
I don't know why I'm even writing you this.
I was at the hospital today. I was fucking there! I stood there hidden, watching Shelby sign the papers and walk away with Beth. My daughter. My child! Do you want to know how that felt? I don't think you do but I'm going to tell you anyway. It felt like I was slowly being ripped apart into a thousand tiny pieces. I felt like I fell into a dark hole from where I will never be able to get up again. And it made me feel like the biggest fucking loser in the world! I am less than useless. I am nothing. Nothing!
And this…. This is supposed to be the right thing? This is what all those fucking people meant to happen when they looked at us with pity in their eyes and smiled and said it would be the right thing to do. Well fuck them! Fuck them all!
She looked so happy. Shelby. I couldn't help thinking that all the pride and all the happiness I felt when Beth was born, when I looked at her sleeping in her cot, all that had been sucked out of me and pumped into her. Now she gets to feel that when she looks at Beth. And me, I'm a drained empty used up shell.
It's not fair Quinn. It's just not fair.
/Puck
