Hey everyone, I got some lovely reviews on the first chapter so thank you very much for those :)
Also this weeks Glee was one of my favourite episodes, obviously I am so happy that Sam has returned, and I'm glad the whole New Directions gang is back on form.
You are the best thing, that's never been mine
Rachel pulled the ribbon tight around her hair to hold it into a ponytail as she stood in front of the mirror. She pressed down on her nose with her forefinger, she had considered a nose job last year but been talked out of it by her friends. She was glad she hadn't done it, but it didn't stop her insecurities about it coming out now and again. Rachel sighed as she buttoned up her cardigan before leaving her bedroom.
Finn greeted her at her front door; he had been giving her a ride to school ever since summer had ended. Usually Rachel looked forward to the few moments they spent in the car. It had been their couple thing, to meet before school and talk about things. Stupid things like what she'd had for dinner, and if they'd done any homework. Rarely did they say anything in car anymore. Awkward silences filled the small space of it as they tried to avoid the sore subjects between them.
"So I'm giving my application in to Miss Pillsbury today" Rachel informed him casually.
Finn nodded but didn't say anything to her. He thought he had made his feelings on the matter of college perfectly clear already, and that he had nothing else to say about it.
Rachel sighed as she stared out of the window, wondering when her perfect life, had become anything but perfect.
Sam trudged down the sidewalk on his way to school; he was in no mood for English first period today. His dyslexia didn't trouble him in a lot of subjects at school, but it had a massive effect on his English work, making it difficult for him to focus and succeed in class. He knew that if he wanted to get into any college at the end of this year he was going to have to work a lot harder during the next semester.
He heard the bib of a car horn and look up to be greeted by Tina and Mike who waved cheerily at him. Sam nodded in the direction and paused to wait for them by the school entrance.
"Hey buddy" Mike said happily his arm resting on Tina's shoulders.
Sam smiled at him "Hey man" he replied "Hi Tina" he added looking in her direction.
In some ways Sam was jealous of the couples easiness with each other, they made being in a relationship seem so simple. No drama, no lies. Sam thought that's what he'd had with Quinn and look how that had turned out. He obviously knew nothing about having a successful relationship.
Sam sat down next to Puck in their shared English class, the two had fallen into an easy friendship since Sam had returned to school, not only did they have the same crazy ex in common, but they also had a love of playing guitar and football. Puck wasn't exactly the best influence to have in a class that you were already failing, since Puck knew that he was going to be re doing his senior year and that he wouldn't be going to college anytime soon he spent most of class joking around. Sam did find most of what Puck did funny, but today he just wasn't in the mood for having a laugh.
"What is up with you?" Puck asked as he through another piece of paper at Mr Johnsons head.
Sam shrugged "Nothing. I just, I just have a lot of things on my mind right now" he mumbled. Part of Sam really did want someone to confide in about this whole Rachel thing. It was hard to hide it from his close friends but if he told someone there was infinite risk that they would tell Rachel, or worse than that they'd tell Finn. The last thing he needed was an altercation with one of his friends.
Three o clock rolled around way to quickly for Rachel's liking, she really enjoyed school, she was definitely what would be described as an over achiever and school was where she thrived. Still at least three o clock meant that the rehearsal room would be empty. It was Thursday so that meant that there was no glee club because of sports and things like that. Rachel still loved going into the rehearsal room even when it wasn't filled with her friends. Sometimes she just did her homework in there, it was the perfect place to escape to, sometimes she sang and sometimes she just sat, thinking.
As she approached the room she could hear singing, she found this curious because normally nobody was in there on Thursday afternoon. She could hear the gentle strumming of a guitar as she got closer to the door. She looked in through the glass pane and saw Sam sitting down on one of the stools playing the guitar and singing quietly to himself. Rachel smiled as she watched him; quietly she entered the room being careful not to make much noise as she did so.
She stood for a moment in the corner of the room just watching and listening to Sam. After a moment he stopped playing and he looked at her "Hi" he murmured.
Rachel felt suddenly guilty for interrupting such a private moment, there were days when a performer wanted to be heard and listened to, but there were other days when you sang songs just for you. "I'm sorry" she said her voice a little more brash than she had hoped. "I just wanted to listen for a minute" she said smiling at him.
Sam smiled at her "Its okay. I don't mind" he replied "I didn't think anyone would be coming in, since glee club isn't happening today" he explained to her unnecessarily.
Rachel shrugged "I come in sometimes, I like it in here. Most of my best moments have happened between these four walls" she admitted sitting down close to him on another stall.
Sam thought about that for a minute, he supposed that the same could be said for him, somehow glee club made everything in the world seem better, whatever problems you had you could sing about them, it was like therapy for musicians. Sam let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding in "I know what you mean" he told her.
There was a moment of awkward silence between the pair, Sam may now have realised his feelings for Rachel but they had rarely spent a lot time alone together. He wanted to say so many things that would make her think he was really cool, he didn't want to come out with one of his lame impressions or jokes like he normally did with girls he liked. But when he was nervous he just couldn't control what came out of his big mouth.
"What were you singing?" she asked him, jolting him out of his own mind.
Sam blushed slightly "Just some old country song my parents used to play all the time. Sometimes I like to remind myself of home" he told her.
Rachel nodded "That's sweet" she murmured. "I better go; I have to talk to Miss Pillsbury about something" she said getting up suddenly causing her arm to brush against Sam's. Rachel looked at him oddly before moving quickly out of the room.
Sam spent the entirety of his evening trying not to think about Rachel. He wasn't that guy, the guy who stole other people's girlfriends, or broke people's hearts. He was just Sam, always sweet, sometimes dumb but never mean. He tried writing his English essay but failed to get past the first few words. He knew that he was going to have to get a tutor; he just really hated to admit defeat.
Sam had always imagined that as soon as he and Rachel were alone together, she'd fall instantly in love with him and that she'd immediately dump Finn for him. After today he realised that no matter how strongly he felt about her, he couldn't just steal her away with such a small amount of effort, he was going to have to try a little harder than that. He'd already figured out exactly how he would start, he just had to find the right time to do it. What if he revealed his feelings and Rachel didn't feel the same or worse than that what if she pretended like he'd never told her. Having his heart ignored would be much worse than having it broken.
At school the next day Sam paid a visit to Miss Pillsbury, he always found it a little weird that she was a guidance councillor; everyone knew that she was a little different. It was mainly the fact that she always looked so terrified that worried Sam, if she was that scared of giving kids advice on their futures why did she choose it as her job?
He sat down opposite her as she gave him that usual caught in the headlights look. "So Sam what I can do for you today?" she asked him smiling.
Sam looked at her "I need a tutor for English" he told her.
Miss Pillsbury nodded "Okay, you should head to the tutoring centre and see if they have anyone available" she said smiling.
Sam headed into the tutoring centre his head hanging low with either embarrassment or shame, he didn't know which, he walked over to the small desk in the front of the class room.
He smiled at the girl behind it "Hi. I need an English tutor" he told her.
The girl gave him a nod "Sure, Tina's free now if you want to talk to her, she's a great tutor" she told him pointing in Tina's direction.
Sam saw Tina sitting down at a desk alone reading a book, he hadn't realised that Tina even did any tutoring but was thankful to see a familiar face. "Hey Tina" he said sitting down.
"Hi Sam" she said smiling at him "What's up?" she asked him giving him a quizzical look.
"I need an English tutor" he said, "I heard that you were pretty good" he added grinning.
Tina smiled "Sure, we can start this afternoon, I have a free period before glee club, do you?" she asked.
Sam nodded "Great, we'll meet in here then" Tina told him.
Rachel had been feeling weird all day, something was playing on her mind but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. She had finally sent off her college application so she guessed it was that which had her all in a funk. She sat down at the table with Kurt and Blaine and both of them smiled at her.
"Are you okay Rachel?" Blaine asked noticing the clouded expression on her face.
Rachel nodded "Yes. I'm just thinking about college. Did you send your application?" she asked Kurt.
He nodded looking as nervous as she felt "We'll get in" she said with a certain amount of assurance in her voice.
"Rachel can we talk?" Finn asked as he approached the side of the lunch table.
Rachel looked up at him "Okay" she answered quietly standing up.
She and Finn walked out of the cafeteria and into one of the schools courtyards he stared at her for a long while before finally speaking. "I've been a terrible boyfriend" he admitted smiling nervously at her.
"I haven't been listening to you; I've been acting like I don't care about you getting into college because I'm scared. Scared of losing you" he told her.
Rachel pressed her palm to his cheek "Finn its okay. I should have known that you were scared, I want to stop being so selfish, but it's just a part of who I am" she whispered.
"Only a small part, I love every part of you no matter what. I always will" he said as he kissed her softly on the mouth.
Sam stared at Finn and Rachel and felt suddenly sick, if he wasn't going to do anything to try and get Rachel then he should stop being so jealous of hers and Finns relationship. It was like kismet he couldn't control what he felt, his emotions were at odds with each other. He wanted so badly to be with Rachel but he didn't want her to be unhappy without Finn either. He was so unsure of what to do about his feelings; he just needed to tell somebody/
"If you aren't going to concentrate on this Sam, then I can't help you" Tina said her tone becoming irritated as Sam stared into space.
Sam looked at her "I'm sorry, I just, nothing" he said quickly.
Tina frowned at him "What? You always have that look these days. The look that says you're thinking about someone a lot more interesting than English homework" she said.
Sam looked at her carefully "If I tell you something, will you promise you won't tell anybody else what I say?" he asked her.
Tina nodded "I won't tell anyone, not even Mike" she replied placing her hand on Sam's in a caring manner.
Sam took a deep breath before he started to speak, "I like Rachel Berry" he blurted out quietly.
Tina blinked at him "What do you mean?" she asked slowly staring at him.
"I mean that I like Rachel Berry" Sam repeated "I like the way her freckles fall on her face, across her nose. I like her animal related knitwear and woollen tights, I even like the way she patronises me when we're rehearsing. I just like her" he mumbled blushing furiously as he confessed his feelings.
Tina stared at him thoughtfully, not once in the time she had known Finn had she heard him talk about Rachel that way. She knew that Finn did love Rachel but not in this way, the way that annoying things become endearing things and things that were bearable become the best things about a person. Sam Evan's was in definitely in love with Rachel Berry.
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this part!
I'll try and update as frequently as I can, so keep reviewing!
