Disclaimer: BSG (2003) and all its characters involved are property of Ron D. Moore. I merely borrowed his play things to play a bit in his sandbox…
Enjoy, C! xxx
A grunt and Bill heaved his body around. He was now facing the backrest of the couch. His knees were bent awkwardly, his neck a bit stiff from the angle it was forced into by the armrest. Sleeping on a couch like this in his age, was a real pain in the ass.
She had offered to move into the living room, but he had refused to listen to her. He had had enough talking for a while, listening to excuses and explanations. He knew what he had seen and he knew how he was feeling at the moment.
Pain soared through his chest at that very moment. "He caught me off guard. I never expected something like it to happen. I didn't kiss him back." Bill closed his eyes, they had become all watery. Tears now travelled down his cheeks. The image of his wife in the arms of another was still burned into his mind. Long, slim fingers grasping her back, hugging her tightly. Her hands holding his shoulders, her wedding ring glistening on her finger, where Bill had put it years before. He remembered that day well too; her face shining with happiness, his heart almost bursting through his chest with pride. But compared to the other image, it now seemed like a faint memory, a beautiful scene of a favourite film – touching to the core, but not real.
"Daddy?" a loud whisper brought him back to the present moment. Another grunt and he turned around again. Evelyn was standing in front of him, barefoot, wearing Zak's old Viper Pjs and holding her stuffed turtle in one hand. 'Shelley' had been a present from her siblings for her first birthday and ever since he had been her faithful sleeping companion.
"Daddy, why aren't you in bed with Mommy?" His sweet girl. Bill raised himself up into a sitting position, inviting his daughter to sit next to him on the couch. She instantly snuggled up against his body.
"Did I wake you sweetheart?" he asked and dropped a kiss onto her curly brown head.
"I heard you going down, but you never came back. Did you cry Daddy?" she continued inquiring.
Bill only took a short pause before admitting "Yes". He didn't see any reason in lying to his daughter at this moment. She must have seen the tears on his face anyway and he was far too deep down to pretend anything else. "Why?"
"Mommy and I have been fighting. We -...we had an argument and until we can't decide how to settle, I...I need some time for myself, to sort out my thoughts. You understand?" He just hoped it was enough of an explanation.
Eve pondered his words for a moment. "You mean like when Lee closes his door?"
"Yes."
Now she smiled up at him brightly. "But when I want to go to Lee, I can just knock. 4 times. He said that. But Zak and Kara don't know that!" Bill chuckled.
"You can always come to your Daddy too, you know that?" She nodded in reply.
For a short moment father and daughter just sat in companionable silence on the couch.
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Mommy said, when I'm sad I can read something. She says, she did it, when she was young."
"Does it help?"
"Sometimes" the little girl admitted. But then she added with the air of someone who just had a striking, ground-breaking thought: "Maybe it helps when you read to me!"
He had to admit, his daughter's reasoning did help with taking his mind off other things. "Okay sweetheart. What do you want to hear?"
Quickly she popped off the couch, went to the bookshelf, grabbed a book and hurried back to her father's side. They made themselves comfortable again and then he started reading to little Evelyn, until they both fell asleep.
The latter part of that scenario repeated itself the following weeks, although Bill made sure, that he either send the girl back to bed before she fell asleep or he carried her back when she claimed her feet were far too tired to walk all the way up by themselves.
Neither of them noticed, that ever since the first night, another pair of ears had been listening to what they said.
Laura had been pretty much upset herself after Bill's move to the couch. She had been scared, sad, hurt and angry all at once. She was aware of how much his feelings must be hurt and after the rather nasty ending of his relationship with Carolanne, it was totally comprehensible why he felt and reacted the way he did. But she wasn't Carolanne! He knew her...how could he even for one second think she'd do something like that?! Richard had caught her off guard and now his actions were damaging her marriage, even though SHE had done nothing?
She had never been one to cry, but on that night, tears were falling from her eyes en masse, and she hated herself for it. She was innocent, gods dammit!...but Bill. Her Bill, her love. The only person she ever felt save to open up to; the only person she ever was able to commit herself to; they had a beautiful relationship, they knew and understood each other. It was her haven and suddenly everything was slipping through her fingers. Laura Roslin – Queen of broken relationships. But she was innocent this time.
In her frustration she had done something she hadn't done for ten years, she went into their en suite bathroom, opened the bottom drawer of her bathroom cabinet and pulled out an old wooden box she kept there. Inside, she had hidden her last cigarettes, for some reason whatsoever. She had taken one, and smoked it by the open window. It had been just what she needed to calm down. At the end though, with all her rage gone, she just felt empty, alone and sad. A feeling which wasn't helped much by the empty bed that greeted her upon returning into the bedroom. His pillow was gone. Of course, he had taken it with him. She laid down onto his side of the bed, and pressed her face into the place where his pillow should have been. The linen smelt like him.
She laid there for a while, crying silently and almost falling asleep, when she heard it: the hushed and far too loud whispers of a child. Her child.
Laura had pulled herself up and sneaked to the staircase. Since the stairs led directly into the living room, it was easy to hear what was being said downstairs from the top of the stairs. The children hated it, but Bill and Laura had soon figured out the advantages it had, for it also worked the other way round. Laura hadn't meant to eavesdrop on her husband's and daughter's conversation, but she couldn't pull herself away from their voices. He had started reading to Eve; when she closed her eyes she could even imagine the three of them sitting together on the couch downstairs. She and her daughter cuddling up against Bill's solid bulk, whilst he read to them. But the hard feeling of the railing against her back and the cold wood of the steps against her feet reminded her that such harmony would only exist in her imagination from now on...at least for a while.
Like the other two downstairs, she had fallen asleep on her spot on that first night. Simply too exhausted from the emotional uproar, she had allowed her husband's soothing voice to drift her off into dreamland. The following nights however, she had made sure to get back into bed before the others could notice her. She had no intention of intruding on their secret.
Surprisingly, she didn't feel jealous because her daughter had decided to seek out her Dad each night in order to work out the confusion she must feel too. No, Laura felt that it was just what those two needed at the time; but she also felt listening to them was what she needed. And thus it had become her ritual too, to sneak out of her room each night and sneak back again without anybody noticing it.
However, that situation was not supposed to stay that way. One night, after having listened to several reading times, Laura fell asleep again. The stress of the conflict and her daily work must have left her so tired that she fell into an especially deep slumber. She never heard Bill when he carried their daughter upstairs. Never heard the pause in his steps, when he stopped and he and Eve spotted her in surprise. Never heard his whispered "Sshh" to stop the girl from saying something that might have woken her up. Never felt him pass her on the steps as he continued his way to the girl's bedroom. She even never heard him close the door after tugging their daughter in and ensuring her, that he would make sure Mommy went to bed too. Only when he lowered himself down beside her, stroke back her hair from her face and said her name a few times, did she wake up.
At first Laura blinked confused, then an "Oh" escaped her, when she realised that she had been caught after all. Bill's face remained expressionless while he looked at her, but his eyes had lost the coldness they had been bearing all this time. The hurt was still there, but something else was back, it gave her hope. Before she could form another thought, he had lifted her up and was carrying her into the bedroom – their bedroom. Putting her down onto the bed, he went to close the door and then disappeared into the bathroom, without another word. Laura laid on the coverings, listening to him using the toilet and washing his hands afterwards. When he returned, they just stared at each other. It felt like eternity. Then he slowly approached the bed. Her heart had started hammering, all her fear suddenly turned into full hope. Their eyes were still locked and she saw her emotions reflected in his crystal blue eyes.
Bill lowered himself next to her onto the bed; all this time not once breaking eye contact with his wife's beautiful green orbs. He would follow those eyes anywhere, she just had to blink and he'd be ready to go. It was that moment, that short frequency of time, that he realised, she was the air his lungs needed to breathe, the blood his heart was bumping through his veins, the soul that kept his mind alive. She was like his religion, the faith he needed to believe in. She was his life, his heart and there was no way that terrible incident could make that change. It was in that very same moment that he realised he would forgive her.
Their hands found each others' faces. They now both knelt on top of the bed, foreheads touching, thumbs stroking cheeks. Both had started crying again. Words were exchanged; words of apology, soothing, reassuring and love. At the end their lips met and melted into heated and passionate kisses, soon followed by hands roaming each other bodies and rediscovering familiar ground. Bill laid down onto his back, pulling Laura on top, all the while never breaking their heated kiss. Soon they were moving in a shared rhythm; celebrating their healed love.
Afterwards they laid cuddled together, covered in sweat but both too reluctant to let go of the other. Only when Laura felt their mixed fluids running down her thighs and the pressure on her bladder increasing, did they force themselves to get up. Having cleaned up, they went back to bed. For a moment Bill startled Laura by moving to the door, however a quick explanation about his pillow reassured her of not having misunderstood anything. When he came back, he switched off the lights and finally settled back down with her beneath their blanket. Outside the clouds were moving, allowing the moonlight to break through. A single star was visible from where they slept with her back pressed against his bare chest, his hand resting on her hip and a smile gracing each face.
It was a beautiful night.
