As Sweeney gets off his high, let's introduce our next character, shall we? Mrs. Lovett was in her kitchen making her "pies" (if you could call them that) and smashing the many insects running on her untidy workspace. She danced and hummed as she rolled out the dough, crushing many bugs with her rolling pin. She sighed as she looked around at the empty room and the bare tables, wishing somebody would just come in and BUY A FREAKIN' PIE! Her anger-laced wishes came true, as Mr. Todd walked through the door.
"Um…..is anybody there?" Mr. Todd asked the empty room. He did not see Mrs. Lovett because she suffered a huge, manga -style nosebleed. She pulled herself off of the floor, adjusted her hand gloves, hair, and chest, and looked toward the doorway again.
"Oi! A customer!" Mrs. Lovett yelled as she charged toward Mr. Todd. He whimpered and started to run, but Mrs. Lovett was too fast for him.
Wait what's your rush, what's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright; I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't you sit, sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks!
More like forever, thought Mrs. Lovett, as she dragged Sweeney towards one of her empty tables. When he was seated, she walked to the door and locked it. She daintily walked back to the counter and picked up a meat pie that had been sitting there for what seemed like forever. As she walked back to Mr. Todd, she brushed off the dust with her hands. She looked at Mr. Todd menacingly and slammed the pie in front of him, making him jump.
"Now then, you are going to eat that whole meat pie right there." she whispered in his face. Mr. Todd, who was still terrified of the blood-covered Mrs. Lovett, obliged. He stared at the pie, and then back at Mrs. Lovett. He took the pie in his shaking hands, lifted it to his mouth…and took a bite.
"Is that a-a-a beetle in there?" he questioned Mrs. Lovett.
"Course it is dearie! These are the worst pies in London!" she chuckled. "I'm just foolin' with your 'ead. You don't have to eat the whole pie." She chuckled again. "One bites enough. I got a nice tot'o'gin in the next room. You can wash out that awful taste." And with that, she bustled off to the other room. Sweeney Todd started to follow, then ran back and took a quick bite out of the pie.
(EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!) If you are grossed out by that type of thing.
"NooooomnuuuuuooooommNOMYum. That is fucking good pie." mumbled Mr. Todd.
"Come along luv, there won't be much gin left by the time you get 'ere! 'Alf the bottle's already gone! Crowed Mrs. Lovett. As well as anger problems, Mrs. Lovett had a bit of a drinking problem as well. As Sweeney Todd enters the room, Nellie Lovett is pouring the gin into a small glass.
"What's in that room up there?" Sweeney asked. Nellie looks at him.
"Not a very nice thing that 'appened up there. Some say it's haunted."
"Why what happened?"
There was a barber and his wife
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife
But they transported him for life
And he was beautiful…
"Did I mention he was beautiful?" Mrs. Lovett asked Sweeney.
"I think you said it once or twice."
"Really? Cos I'm not sure if I did….."
"You said it quite a few times."
Mrs. Lovett nodded and continued with her story. "Anyway. Barker, 'is name was. Benjamin Barker."
"What was his crime?"
"Foolishness. And being too damn hot for anyone to handle. But mostly foolishness. 'Er crime too. I mean if Judge Turpin comes to your house every day after your 'usbands been arrested, holding flowers, DON'T YA THINK HE WOULD BE UP TA SOMETHING! HE'S PRACTICALLY STALKING YOU!" Nellie screamed. She calmed herself quickly before speaking…by slamming back some more gin. She needed to learn how to control her anger. " Ya see, the Beadle lured her to the Judge's house. The Judge raped her. Couldn't live with 'erself. Poisoned 'erself she did. Arsenic. Tried to stop her."
"No! Would no one have mercy on her?" Mr. Todd yelled, standing, knocking his gin to the ground.
"Came in a little late with that line there. So it is you. Benjamin Barker. You owe me some gin now."
"Barker's dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd. And you will get your gin!"
"Good." said Nellie burping and swaying. "Cos I just drank the last of it."
