Complaint Line
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Nintendo.
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Another day at the stadium, Smash mansion was close to being finished, as was the line-up for the next invitational. It was a genius scheme by Master Hand, first the tournament brought in the die hard fighter crowd and the fanboys and then he would install a mansion where the participants could live 24/7, engage in wacky antics, create soap opera stories and other things, hopefully naughty things which always rakes in the money. Which would all be recorded by super special hidden cameras placed everywhere. And he'd still have the fights only they'd be more varied, on different stages and with different characters
However he had run out of ideas for well known characters. The Ice Climbers had some un-orthodox and retro appeal, promoting Falcon to full time was another good way to go. Then an idea hit him. Since Luigi was part time here, why not invited other people from already existing worlds? Bowser and Yoshi would be entertaining, but still the Hand needed more. More female characters. The two princesses who to his knowledge had never put out so there would be all that juicy sexual tension between them and their respective heroes were quickly added to the main roster. That way, he wouldn't have wasted money building a women's shower and locker room for just Samus, and there would be catfights. That always entertained a crowd. Unless it was a completely feminist crowd.
If he had a tongue, he could have tasted the money. Yet despite not having ears, he could still hear perfectly well Link and Mario shouting his what-would-have-been ears off.
"Are you mad? Forcing her into something like this!"
"If she is even scratched while here, regardless of what those contracts say I will cut you to shreds."
"Bowser too! You're just asking for trouble."
"Gentlemen, please! I can explain!" He said, although he was stronger than both of them, and neither was exactly top of the tournaments, they were still the big names, the ones everyone knew. The people that would be noticed at the drop of a hat if Master Hand dropped them out of the Smash rankings.
"How can you explain putting royalty with no combat experience in danger?" Mario argued.
"Relax… They're not in any danger. The battle scars can be healed up in our new health centre, which can cure everything except cancer and AIDS, but all battle wounds can be instantly healed and if anyone puts a hand on them outside of battle their contracts will be terminated and will be hurled into the vastness of space. Besides, I already have assigned a personal trainer so that they can actually out up a fight. Happy?" He said, pointing his index finger at them in the same way a car salesman would do in a cheesy did to unload a scrap heap onto some unsuspecting mug. However, this didn't work with one Hero of time who grabbed him by the finger and slammed it down on the desk, ready to jam his sword under his fingernails. It was one of the first times Master Hand had been afraid of one of the Smashers, especially one so low teir. Obviously someone was holding back their wild side.
"Look here, I don't care if she can be healed up later, if she is in pain for more than 10 seconds because of this tourney, you will answer to me. Got it?"
"Got it." Master Hand repeated obediently.
"Good." He said, leaving Master Hand in the office with Mario, both shocked at Link's sudden outburst.
"Well I think that went rather well."
--
"Just punch it." Samus groaned. Still in her power suit to prevent herself trying to swallow her own fist in desperation to escape.
"But what if…" Peach began.
"We'll get to the ifs later, just punch the dummy like I showed you how to." The bounty hunter instructed.
"But what has it done to me?"
"Just hit the damn thing!"
"Eek!" Peach shrieked before slapping the dummy, causing it's head to tilt to the side slightly.
"What was that?" Samus asked slowly.
"I…I hit it?"
"That was not a hit. That was a fairy slap. This is how you punch something!" She said, doing her best impression of a marine drill instructor, a steep down from Chozo survival instructions in harshness "Try again."
"I can see this will consume a large amount of time, how long do these sessions usually last for?" Zelda asked speaking up for the first time since the introductions.
Until I get my share of the money. Samus thought dryly as she shook her head at Peach's attempt to strike the training dummy. It would have been comical if she hadn't had to get results. "This isn't working," she sighed after Peach's attempt to punch it ended up hurting her own hand slightly. "Okay, you can slap it but try to keep your lower arm straight, otherwise you'll loose impact and apart from the realisation that they've been slapped, which isn't much, it won't stop them striking back harder."
"You mean they're allowed to hit back?"
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Shorter than the first chapter I know. No pairings yet though, just Mario and Link being over protective.
