DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story including Wild Child. XD

A/N: Hi guys, thanks for reading and please leave a review to tell me what'cha thought. Thanks. This story is inspired by the film Wild Child which I love and I didn't think had been done yet so I apologise if it has.

SUMMARY: Vince is the new boy at a boarding school in Leeds but what happens when he makes it his policy to wreak havoc and meets a boy called Howard?

TITLE: The Boarding School

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The Boarding School

Chapter 2- First Impressions

"So this here is the first ICT room, it's got all the facilities in it, computers, screens, plugs." Vince nodded; you did need those things for it to be a computer room. "Now you are welcome to use this room as long as it's before your curfew."

"Which is…?" Vince raised an eyebrow, hoping for it to be really late so he could stay up and have a lie in the next day.

"10:00." Howard smiled, to him that was late, like an all-nighter at a sleep over.

"10:00! 10:00, my parents don't even go to bed at 10:00! They go at 12:01, they're rebels!" Howard sighed at Vince's resilient voice and let a shocked gasp erupt from his lungs when he saw Vince grasp his phone and dial a number. "Alright Leroy? Yeah, this is well mank I have to go to bed at 10. Yeah I know… yeah I know what parent does? Anyway Leroy, the head master's coming and if he sees me talking to you he'll have my head and I can't have that, yeah alright bye Leroy." When he hung up and put his phone away, the head master walked by and scowled. He had a weird name, something like Bob Fossil but he seemed to like Howard.

"Noir, Put that moble phone away now!" Vince tried so hard to contain the laughter but sometimes, he just had to laugh.

"Moble phone? You mean mobile phone? Anyway, this goes everywhere with me it's like Howard and you. If you look, you can pick from 12 ringtones like Gary and Led Zeppelin and Mick Jagger." Bob smiled happily at Vince and sighed.

"That's amazing Vince, why don't you tell it to a squirrel you peanut!" Vince smiled cheekily, his eyes filled with devilish delight.

"Actually Fossil, squirrels eat chestnuts not peanuts. I think you'll find that maybe just maybe you've gone a little bit wrong somewhere." Howard leant close to Vince's ear and whispered quietly.

"You're in for it now. No one's ever spoken like that to Mr Fossil like that or anyone who has was never seen again." The smaller man gulped aloud until the head-teacher placed a hand on his blazer.

"Oh, I love what you've done with your uniform. We're all about uniqueness here at the Leeds Acadiverse." Vince smiled and winked at Howard. He didn't how he had done it but he clearly had Fossil won over.

"Thanks mate, I just accessorized a bit and voila, my outfit completed. Oh, Mr Fossil? Why is it called the Leeds Acadiverse?" Bob sighed and placed his hands in a 'trance' like position.

"I wanted to bring the children a universe of education and fun so instead of Leeds Academy, it's the Leeds Acadiverse. A mix of Universe and Academy so children can have the life they want to live." Vince had gone by the time his recollections were over so he continued down the hallway.

"Having fun are you? Mr Fossil never talks to us like that." Howard whispered with hints of jealousy melting into his words like warm Nutella. "He treats us like miniature slaves. I'm sick of it Vince, why can't we all be treated as equal?" Vince was sat playing a thumb war with Naboo but he was listening.

"He doesn't talk to me like that." Naboo chuckled and held down Vince's thumb. "Yes, I win again! That's thrice now!" Vince sighed and handed over his favourite blue gem stone. "Cheers Vince, I'll put this on my turban. Howard? What do you think red or blue?"

"I don't know! Just… come on we have to get to class. I can't believe they let you were turbans but they wont let me wear my jazz hat." Naboo sighed and followed the ranting maverick out of the room. "It's just not fair. Favouritism, that's what it is!" Howard screamed before turning the handle and walking into the class. "Mr Fossil." He smiled, taking his seat and placing his bag on the seat next to him so Vince couldn't sit down. He was far too mad right now to deal with him.

"Howard you ball-bag where am I gonna sit? Naboo's sitting with Barry!" Vince whined, looking over and smiling at Barry. "Alright Barry," Barry waved back and looked at the book in front of him. "Mr Fossil!"

"Howard, move your bag! What do you think this is a party with a hoard of horny antelope? Now pay attention and steer right." Reluctantly, Howard moved his bag and Vince flashed a shockingly wide smile in his direction.

"Cheers mate." Vince smiled and sat down, picking up a pen and continuously clicking it.

"Can you shut up please? You've already dobbed me in to the big guns, what so now clicking a pen to get me to spiral into insanity is your next ploy?" Vince put the pen down to hear Fossil typically say 'now pick up your pens'. Vince cheekily smiled at Howard and started to scribble his name onto the paper. "Vince, its black or blue not vibrant orange." Howard whispered only to get told off again by Bob.

"Yeah Howard, be quiet you idiot I can't hear Mr Fossil." Vince chuckled and wrote the date, changing his pen to vibrant pink. He had laid out all of his pens, deferring from pink to orange to green to electric, vibrant blue that glowed in the dark. "'Ere Mr Fossil? What's that going on with your hair?" Bob ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. "I could sort that out for you." Vince smiled, chewing on his pen.

"Teacher's pet." A boy sat behind Vince mumbled, causing him to turn around and stare.

"What did you say?" Vince asked when Mr Fossil left to get some paper.

"I said teacher's pet." The boy repeated himself but louder and squared up to Vince, pushing him backwards. Howard was next to stand up and push the boy who had begun to bully Vince.

"Yeah Mickey, let's go and sit down and sort this hostility out yeah?"

"I am not hostile!" Mickey shouted, punching Howard square in the face. "You are the hostile one you great lump of…" Before he could finish, Bob walked through the door and shot a challenging expression in his direction.

"Mickey sit down, Vince take Howard to the MI room and then come and cut my hair when he's done up there." Vince did as Fossil said and lead Howard to the medical examination sector of the school then sat down beside him and pressed the tissue he was holding to Howard's nose to stop the bleeding.

"Don't touch me! I can do it myself I'm not a kid." Vince smiled and pulled his hand away so Howard couldn't get the tissue.

"'Oward, for once in your life let someone 'elp ya." Reluctantly, Howard let Vince brush the blood away with a wet cloth and press a tissue to his face to soak up any blood dripping from his busted nose. "Besides, I know people who'd die to have me pressing tissues to their bleeding noses."

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TBC

A/N: Well? Did you like it? Next chapter soonly. Remember, reviews will keep this one going.