Here's Chapter Two!I updated early too. That deserves a review I am thinking. Wow, thinking is new.

Disclaimer All characters are parodies of themselves. So I kinda own everybody. Sorta.


Chapter 2

Narrator: It's morning, wake up!

Author: Mph.

Vanderdecken: Yarr! I never sleep because I'm the Captain of the Flying Dutchman!

Narrator: Can you really fly? I'd ask the Author but he's asleep.

Vanderdecken: Gyar. Of course I can fly!

Narrator: Can you do it now?

Vanderdecken: Arggg, first I have to be drinking heavily. Then I…

(Narrator loses interest and go's to wake up the Author)

Vanderdecken: Yarr, you there! (Points to random crewmember) Pick up that rope!

Random Crew Member: Um, ok. (Looks over rail) Oi! There's a kid over here!

Vanderdecken: Gyarr. Leave him there or push him over. I couldn't give a damn. Now I'm off to go heavily intoxicate myself! (Walks away)

Petros: I need a galley boy!

Narrator: Yea, because filling pots with random objects is so hard.

Petros: Drags boy into galley.

Narrator: (Opens door to the invisible studio box and walks in. Taking out a blow horn, he duct tapes it on and throws it into the Author's room.)

Author: (Comes running out with a baseball bat in his hands only to find the Narrator holding a paintball gun.)

Narrator: Good morning. (Takes aim)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Narrator: Ahem, two days later. (Coved in paint)

Boy: I'm alive and it's lunchtime, things are looking up!

Petros: Wrong!

Narrator: Petros hands the boy, who's suppose to be a mute, (Glares at the boy) some food.

Petros: Right, when you signed up for a life at sea you pretty much doomed yourself. We all did in this story.

Boy: (Looks at him blankly)

Petros: Hmmmm, you're not responding. You must not have a tongue. I think I'll kick you now.

Narrator: An Arab walks in after abuse takes place.

Arab: Because I'm smarter than you, I can state the obvious that he does indeed have a tongue.

Author: Wow you're a natural Herminie Granger.

Narrator: I take a moment for the Greek to understand how someone can't talk when he has a tongue but he does, he says.

Petros: Well he might be dumb but if he can throw random objects into a pot he'll do. Here, take this to the Captain. Un-der-stand?

Author: Sigh. I wish I could write about smart people for once and not about someone who's clearly the result of ten generations of inbreeding.

Petros: Hmmm. What should I name the no-tongued kid? Any ideas Jamil?

Boy: (!?!?)

Jamil: I think we should call him Nebuchadnezzar.

Petros: Nebo…Nebu… Look, if I can't even say it, I'm not going to name my slave it.

Author: Wait; did he just say something smart? I didn't write that!

Narrator: Petros turns to the boy and screams in his face.

Petros: Neb! Neb! You called Neb now! Take this to the Captain or I'll skin you with this knives.

Narrator: Petros picks up sharp knives.

Petros: (Proudly waves knives around)

Jamil: (Backs off)

Neb: (Runs out of the cabin)

Knife: SHINE SPARKLE SPARKLE.

Narrator: Just then, Petros cuts himself with the knife and the Cullen's leap into action and… (Stops reading and turns to the Author) Dude, you've got to stop reading Twilight.

Author: I did.

Narrator: You finished the series didn't you.

Author: Mayyyybe.

Me: No fricken way. I did not just mix Castaways with a Twilight reference. Lightning strikes me down!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Door: Knock knock.

Vanderdecken: OMG knocking door!

Door: Knock knock!

Vanderdecken: (Eyes door suspiciously) Hmmm. Since the door is an inanimate object, it must be trying to kill me!

Door: Opens.

Narrator: On the other side of the door Neb somehow opens it while holding a food.

Me: A food. Yum.

Vanderdecken: Isn't that the boy I told my crew to push over board?

Narrator: Um, you gave them a loophole.

Vanderdecken: Yarr, note to self. No more loopholes.

Neb: (Sets food on the table)

Vanderdecken: I believe this is the part of the story where I give you a lecture about luck.

Neb: (Nods)

Vanderdecken: Gyar. Well I'm not.

Neb: (Shrugs and leaves)

Vanderdecken: (Glares daggers at the door)

A Food: Randomly explodes.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Narrator: Back in the kitchen.

Neb: You know if we were in the twenty first century America, Child Welfare would be all over your ass.

Petros: Child Welfare, where? (Looks around and spills gun powder into a bowl) It also randomly explodes.

Narrator: (Stops reading) What is it with you and exploding food?

Author: Well, I figured this chapter needed some action.

Narrator: So you blew up their food?

Author: Yea.

Narrator: Oh, ok. (Takes a sip of coffee. It too explodes)


Review! Please!