Chapter Two- Unohana Retsu and the Seven Captains
They sat looks of dismay and wariness upon each of the captain's faces. The lieutenants had worried and amused expressions.
The head commander cleared his throat. "Let us begin then."
There once was a queen who longed to be the fairest on the land. She possessed a magical mirror that would answer her questions. But she only asked it one thing.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall whom is the fairest of them all?"
The glass would come to life in the form of a nervous looking face. "Y-You are my queen. You Queen Soi Fon are the most fairest of them all."
The woman smiled at the mirror happily.
However, Queen Soi Fon had a step daughter from her late husband. And as the days went on and on, the young princess grew more and more beautiful.
So on a day like any other the Queen went to her mirror. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"
M-My Queen, it is true that you are fair. But young princess Retsu is fairer than you." The mirror looked at her nervously. "Unohana Retsu is the fairest of them all."
"What," the queen hissed.
She would not stand for this. There could be no one in this world fairer than her. So she called her most trusted.
The Huntsman.
He bowed before her as she sat in her throne.
He was a rather large fellow with a big mask that covered his face. "My Queen. How can I serve you?"
"My loyal Komamura, I have a task I trust only you with." Her gray eyes narrowed at him. "I want you to take Princess Retsu deep into the woods and their I want you to cut out her heart." The Queen stood up from her throne and handed him a box. "And as proof that you have done the task I want you to put her heart in this box and bring it back to me."
The man looked up at her. His golden eyes peeking through the mask. "Kill the princess?"
"You can do this for me can't you?" she asked crossing her arms.
"Of course," the hunter said quickly.
Later that afternoon he took the princess deep into the woods.
"There are such wonderful flowers here." she said kneeling down to pick several.
The hunter approached her from behind. He raised his sword to stab her but paused. Her black hair was braided down her back. Her skin extra pale in contrast to the dark hair color.
He found himself unable to kill her.
"Good princess," he said getting on one knee.
She stood and turned around curious. "Yes, dear huntsmen."
"I have a confession. I was ordered to take you into this forest to kill you by order of the queen."
She gasped at this confession taking a few steps back.
"But I cannot kill you. So run young princess. Run as far and as fast as you can."
She nodded taking off into the forest. Not sure of where she should go but far away seemed as good a plan as any.
She ran and ran, at last coming upon a rather large home. She was very tired and hungry and hoped that maybe whoever lived here wouldn't mind letting her stay for a night or so.
She knocked politely on the door and there was no answer. She tried the handle and found it turned and the door opened. While she did know that it was rude to just enter the house with out permission but, this was a special circumstance.
She entered the house and found the living room, where there were seven sitting chairs. Inside the kitchen were seven chairs around the table. And seven cups and seven plates in the cabinet. And upstairs there were seven beds.
Seeing the beds she suddenly felt very tired. Without further thought she curled up in one of the beds and fell asleep.
Little did the princess know but seven people were on their way back. They entered their home exhausted after a hard days work.
The one with the glasses stopped. "There is something amiss here." he glanced back at the others. "There is something upstairs."
Quickly all seven hurried upstairs to see what kind of intruder. What they saw surprised them all. A girl. A girl was in one of their beds.
Their noisy entrance had woken her. She rubbed her eyes carefully and jumped slightly at the sight of all of them.
"Hello," she said quietly.
There were mumbled, hellos.
"Young girl," said a stern voice. "What are you doing in our home."
Quickly she told them all who she was and her story.
"Tha's so sad," said another. "Can we keep 'er?"
"She's not some pet you can just have,"
The one with glasses sighed. "Young princess, we will allow you to stay with us. However-"
"Oh I know. I can't stay for free. So I'll cook and clean and do anything you need me to," She hoped of the bed. "I'll make dinner right now." she hurried back down the stairs to begin cooking.
"Wait," the brunette said. "That's not what I was going to say."
The shortest one of them all sighed. "It's fine. Now we have a maid."
"But she's a princess. She shouldn't have to do these things."
There was no stopping the princess. She was just happy to have someplace to stay. "So what are all of your names?" she asked setting the table.
All seven men sat down at the table. "Well," said the one with glasses. "The silver haired one is Smiley," He gave her a wave his overly long sleeves hiding his hands. "Snobby has the raven colored hair." he gave her a light nod. "Drunky has the straw hat," he tipped his hat to the princess. "Blindy with the orange scarf, Icy has the spiky white hair. Crazy is the one with the pointed hair with bells. And I'm Aizy."
She smiled at all of them. Seven new friends.
She cooked all their meals. Cleaned their house while they were gone. Sewed up the tears in their white coats.
She didn't mind the work at all. In fact she rather enjoyed it. It kept her busy and it was always nice to see the happy faces of the men when they came home.
Smiley grabbed her hands after dinner one evening. "Ya are so wonderful!"
Aizy smiled slightly and took a seat at the piano in the living room. He played a merry tune, while Smiley laughed and danced with the princess.
Retsu laughed with him and soon Blindy had gotten a flute and was playing Aizy's tune. The others, save for Icy who just rolled his green blue eyes, joined in the festivities. Each taking a turn to dance with the lovely princess who had blessed their home.
Back in her castle Queen Soi Fon walked up to her mirror. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"
The face in the mirror appeared and looked hesitantly at her. "My queen you are fair that is for sure, but Unohana Retsu is still fairer all the more."
Soi Fon sneered at her mirror. "That can not be true. My huntsman killed her. I have her heart in this box,"
"A heart in a box that you have, but the heart of a deer was that your plan?"
She looked at the box in shock. "A deer?" She threw the wooden box against the wall. "I have been tricked!" She looked back at her mirror. "Where? Where is she?"
"Deep in the forest safe and sound. Powerful men guard her I have found."
The queen said nothing more. She turned on her heal heading deep into her castle.
They had really grown attached to her. They decided to do whatever they needed to keep her safe from that evil queen if she ever came looking for her. Nothing would harm their princess.
She had to say that she quite attached to the men as well. She saw them off every morning.
As always Aizy warned her to be careful. "Never let anyone in the house. And don't leave unless you have to. And keep the door locked."
"I know, I know." she said kindly. She fixed his hair as he spoke. Always in a mess. It was the same thing everyday. Redoing one of Crazy's bells, Retying Blindy's scarf, adjusting Smiley's coat, taking the bottle of sake away from Drunky, Redoing one one the clips in Snobby's hair and handing Icy his lunch that he always forgot.
Yes, it was the same thing say after day but she loved it.
One day a peddler came to her door step. The least she could do for the poor thing was offer the poor soul some food. She opened the door and stepped out side.
"I have some colorful sashes that would go wonderfully with your completion." the peddler said puller her hat down a little further.
"I would love to see them," Retsu said kindly.
The peddler pulled the colorful cloth out of her bag and handed them to the princess. At once the cloth came to life wrapping themselves around the princess. They tightened around her crushing her frame.
The peddler of course was Soi Fon in disguise she watched the princess struggle for breath for a few more moments. She turned her back on the dying princess and left. Soon she would be the fairest of them all.
"Scatter Senbonzakura," pink petals fly over the girl. The razor sharp petals cutting the cloth that was attempting to cut her life short.
"Retsu!" Aizy was at her side as soon as she was free. "She's still alive," a sigh of relief came from everyone.
That night she was of course scolded.
"Please be more careful," insisted Aizy.
"Of course. My apologies." she said sadly. She hated making them all worry over her.
The men were even more hesitant to leave her alone. She promised them she would be fine.
Evil queens would not be deterred. Soi Fon came back this time disguised as an old woman.
"What lovely raven hair you have." she said. Unohana had been outside watering the plants outside the house. "I have a beautiful clip that would go wonderfully with your hair."
She held out the comb. Known only to Soi Fon, the tips were poisoned. So when they would scrape against the skin the princess would be poisoned.
"That's kind of you." Unohana said kindly. "But I am content with what I have."
"Let me see you wearing it for a moment."
"Well,"
A small chiming of bells.
Crazy roaring like a mad man running right towards the queen. Quickly the Queen hurried away.
"Retsu." Snobby sighed appearing at her side.
"I know. I know." she said. "I am very sorry."
Soi Fon would not give up. She had one last idea.
"I'd rather not leave you alone anymore." sighed Aizy. He paced around the home.
"This time, I won't leave. You have my word."
The seven men looked at each other warily.
"Very well. But if anything else happens." Blindy said worry in his tone.
"I understand." she really did.
So half heartedly they left once more. The mourning ritual the same as always. Yet this time she decided to add a step.
As Aizy gave her the lecture she fixed his messy brunette hair. "I understand.' she said when he had finished. He turned to leave and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. His cheeks turned a dark shade of red and he stumbled out the door. Unable to say anything.
"Don't kiss me," warned Crazy as she fixed his bells.
She laughed. "Okay, another time then?"
"Whatever," he mumbled.
She gave Snobby a light kiss turning his pale cheeks pink. Icy fought it but she wasn't letting another one get away. Blindy mumbled an embarrassed thank you. Drunky returned the kiss giving one of his own on her cheek.
She shook her head getting over the shock of getting a retuning kiss. Her distraction gave another set of lips a chance to lock not onto her cheek but onto her own lips.
Smiley pulled away quickly. "Smooch." he laughed running out the door to join the others.
Her own cheeks a shade of pink now. Once more she shook her head clearing her head. There were chores to be done.
She cleaned and dusted and did the things she did while the men were away.
She paused in her work at the sound of someone knocking on her window. Hesitantly she pushed open the window. A woman with a basket full of red ripe apples stood there. Her hair in black curls.
"Can I help you?" asked Retsu.
"I was wondering if I could offer you some apples."
Unohana shook her head. "I'm afraid not."
The woman smiled at her. "Just one. These apples are of the very best quality. You'll never have another like it."
"Well," Unohana bit her lip. The boys would be mad at her if they found out. But the apple did look very delicious. So with only the slightest hesitation she took the apple from the woman's hand.
"Take a bite." the woman outside insisted.
Unohana slowly took a small bite. She dropped the apple. Her eyes were becoming heavy. Her body wouldn't stand on its own.
Queen Soi Fon leaned inside from the window to see the princess laying on the ground. She smiled happily. She undid the curls and retying her hair in braids. Once again she was the fairest of them all.
The seven men walked home. They were excited to see their princess. They had made plans while at work. Another music night. Maybe she would sing with them this time around.
But when they saw the house dark and the window opened all their happy plans disappeared into thin air. Quickly they ran into the house calling her name.
There she was laying on the ground. Aizy knelt beside her. Her skin cold. There was no rise in fall of her chest. No sound of a heartbeat.
The others watched him nervously.
He looked up at them sadly. "She's dead."
Smiley covered his face with his overly long sleeves. And Toshiro walked out of the house.
"I need a drink," mumbled Drunky and he headed upstairs.
Aizy held her lifeless body hoping that by some chance that their princess would wake up somehow.
But she didn't.
No one had the heart to burry her. It didn't seem right to have her beauty swallowed up by the earth. So Toshiro made a coffin of pure ice that could withstand the sun. Where they could see her always. And a reminder of how they couldn't protect her.
Time passed and one day a prince rode by and spotted the coffin of pure ice with the maiden of pure beauty inside it.
"Good gentleman," he called. He had hair of purest white and pale skin. He rode up to the seven men who were placing flowers around the coffin. "I am Prince Ukitake. I must insist that you let me have that coffin."
The men looked away from him.
Aizy shook his head. "I am afraid we can not do that. She is very precious to us. Even in death."
The pale prince nodded. "I understand. You obviously feel some guilt over the maidens death. Let me take this painful burden away from you. I will take excellent care of the maiden in the ice."
Again the declined.
It took many days of pleading before they finally gave in. The prince insisted that the princess should not be sealed away in the forest. But that everyone should be able to see her and say goodbye.
It was at these words that they gave in. The seven men watched sadly as the Prince had his men take away their princess.
It was a long way back to the prince's castle. "Careful with her," requested Ukitake. "I promised those men that I would take care of her."
He flinched when he heard a loud thud. With an annoyed sighed he turned his horse around to see what had happened.
The coffin had popped open and sitting up was the fair maiden spitting out a piece of apple.
Ukitake's brown eyes went wide. "You're alive!" he said happily. She nodded looking around.
"My dear princess, I insist you must marry me." he held out his hand.
She looked at him. Then around. "Where am I?"
"Everyone thought you were dead."
She took his out stretched hand and was pulled onto the back of his horse.
"Will you?" he asked.
"Sure. But my friend-."
"Will be of course told that you still live. Let us be off."
As she did everyday, Soi Fon walked up to her mirror.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"
The face of the mirror appeared. "My dear queen you are indeed fair. But there is a queen elsewhere more fair than you."
"Another queen?" Soi Fon scowled. "Where is she? I will put an end to her."
Gathering the details she set out to the other kingdom where this queen lived.
There were many people here. In fact if she didn't know any better it was a wedding. So this other woman was not a queen yet. Soi Fon would make sure that she would not live long enough to be one, at least for very long.
She pushed open to the doors of the chapel and saw much to her dismay she saw none other than Unohana Retsu standing at the alter.
"You!" she shrieked. "Why are you still alive."
"Queen Soi Fon. You attacked the princess. Several different attempts on her life. Justice will be dealt out for your actions." Blindy spoke from behind her.
"As punishment for your deeds," said Aizy beside the princess. "You are to wear a heated pair of steel shoes. And you will dance for Unohana during her wedding. Dance until you can not dance anymore. Until you are dead."
And so she did.
But on the happier side the prince and the princess got married. The seven men said goodbye to her one last time. And Unohana Retsu lived happily ever after.
There was a silence after the story.
"Well," began Ukitake. "That was a fairly grim story."
"Why was I the evil queen?" demanded Soi Fon.
"Well certainly Unohana is not capable of being an evil queen." Yamamoto said simply.
The second captain's jaw dropped. "What about one of the lieutenants?"
The elder sipped his tea. "No. You were the best choice."
Soi Fon grinded her teeth together.
Unohana smiled kindly at the head commander. "May I ask why Captain Ukitake was the prince."
"Take it as a hint."
Ukitake burst into a fit off coughs.
Unohana smiled one of her kind but terrifying smiles and starred at her tea cup.
Shunsui chuckled. "There are better choices then Juu-chan." He lifted up his hat to look at the head captain.
"Hmm." the older man nodded. "Yes. I did consider Captain Aizen."
Gin used his sleeves to suppress his laughter.
"But there is a significant age difference."
Aizen looked down at the table. His only thoughts were not to make any kind of eye contact with the healing captain.
"I wouldn't say significant." she said stiffly.
The old man shook his head. "No there is."
Isane starred at her captain utterly terrified.
Shunsui quickly pulled his hat down. Knowing that if he caught looking or starring she would explode him, with her mind.
The silence was a bit suffocating. Gin's muffled giggling the only sound in the room.
"Captain Soi Fon." the head captain stated. "You are next."
"Me?" her voice still bitter
"Yes. What's your fairy tale?"
She bit her lip and thought quickly. "I suppose I'll do Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves."
"Good choice. But of course you must tell it like I did. So it should be called?"
"Oh." again she thought. The captains had suffered enough from that stupid Snow White story. Why should the lieutenants get of free? They shouldn't. She glanced back at her own. Picking his nose. She knew what part he would play. But for the main. Her eyes scanned the room. "It will be called, Hisagi Shūhei and the Forty Thieves.
The lietenuiant of the ninth cringed. He was sure after Soi Fon being the villain in the last story he was going to be the one to suffer in this story. He steeled himself ready for anything the angry captain might throw at him.
