(In a recording booth, the author has Rose in a sound booth)
"Ready?"
"Yes, Cu…I mean Yoshi3000." – Rose
"Okay, begin."
"*ahem* The following is a fan-based take on Steven Universe which original properties belong to the awesome Sugar-senpai. All other themes belong to their respective owners. Please support the official release." – Rose.
"You flubbed a line. It's "Please support the official release and enjoy the show!". But it's the first episode, mistakes will be made."
"Like on this chapter." – Rose
(The Author's eyes twitch, but he keeps his cool and walks away.)
Steven Universe Blackthorned
Episode 1: There will be Bikers, There will be Blood, There will be Brawl
Alternate Title: Rose and Ryker's Rage Breaking Point!
I swear when I woke up, I thought I was in a feverish wet dream and I was still at home. I picked up the remote from the nightstand and flipped on the TV (Even I never had one in my room, but I didn't realize it yet). I found no Nickelodeon or Nicktoons, or even TeenNick. I found Disney Channel and then I switched to Cartoon Network. What made me realized I wasn't dreaming was when I saw the lineup. Invader Zim, Teen Titans Season 6, Gravity Falls Next Gen, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, and Pokémon XYZ were slated and then I realized it. There was no Nick, Zim was continuing, Star was on there, and best of the all there was no Teen Titans GO on! I picked up that tablet and then I knew I was still in the world of Steven Universe. I looked up the state of this world's television programming and it was surprising. Nick lost most of it's money making a giant movie between Sanjay and Craig (had shitty humor), Breadwinners (sucked too hard), Harvey Beaks (a shame that was put in there), and Pig Goat Banana Cricket (What am I supposed o say tabout this mess?!). Apparently, the movie was a disaster, and Nick lost so many people. Hell, Nicktoons were now on either Disney or mostly on Cartoon Network. And Teen Titans GO! only lasted four episodes before someone canceled it….thank god. MLP of all shows ended up on CN, and was now an action show with anthro/slighty humanized ponies and it looked awesome. But then I realized. Here I was complaining about cartoons, when I'm actually put in one. So, I turned off the TV, and put away my tablet. I had an adventure to live!
That's when I noticed someone was cuddling me (I was still in bed), and I turned to see Rose Quartz doing it. I sighed in relief that it wasn't just anyone else. As I got the sheet off, I got an eyeful. Rose Quartz. Was. Sleeping. Naked. I just froze….I mean what the hell am I supposed to say?! Honestly, to all you artists drawing her out there, some of you are doing it wrong. With those broad shoulders, nearly jacked arms, amazon-like shape, and…..what, why am I staring and telling you this? (On later thoughts, considering her relationship with Greg, I wouldn't be surprised if she got into the habit)
My mind was running four thought patterns, one was being smug for this happening, two was panicking, three was calm trying not make it a big deal, and four was me wanting to deck Greg for being so lucky. I had to wake her up, but she looked so peaceful. So, I gently shook her awake, which she got up.
"Morning…sorry about being next to you. I tend to cuddle." She said getting up not even bothering to cover herself.
"Yeah, no issue...none at all" I say trying to stay calm.
To try and not gawk, I hurriedly grab my laptop and put it on. I scanned through e-mail, social media, and my art gallery. Rose came closer to me and asked me about one of the folders I had with her name on it.
"Oh, it's a folder of artwork I occasionally did of in various outfits of my own outfit and outfits that reference my favorite media." I remarked with Rose asked to see them.
I draw in my spare time, but I would not consider myself an amazing artist. So, I showed her several outfits I did design of various themes and references. Rose generated all the them modeling each one, and I had to admit, that was rather awesome to see her try them all on. She settled on one for the day which happened to Nami's out from the Enies Lobby Arc with added leggings. Greg owed me big time! As for me, I decided why not stick with the theme. Using the tablet, I spawned myself an outfit based of Zoro's Arlong Parck arc outfit. (Only deviation was me wearing a white shirt instead of the bandages.) I even put my sword in the same spot. I felt so cool wearing it and I thought about one of his quotes that applied to my new life, "Bring on the hardship. It's preferred in a path of carnage."
After packing up, we soon left the motel to the manager's relief. I had decided to get breakfast at the same diner Steven went to because…inner fanboy. Using the tablet, I was able to increase the amount of cash I had on me. So, I insisted Rose ordered whatever she wanted.
The waitress approached us and asked, "Welcome the Best Diner in the World, what can get you two?"
"I've have three plates of pancakes, a plate of scrambled eggs, one…no...two plates of bacon, biscuits, and a hot chocolate with extra milk." I said dryly to her prompting a surprised reaction from her.
"I've have a coffee with extra sugar. Along with three of all your pastries." Rose said to her as she scribbled it all down.
Just to make sure she knew we were serious and paying, I got out a stack of bills (possibly a thousand…who knows) to put on the table. I was starving and I needed food so bad.
"If you get us that food as quickly as possible, you can have the change as the tip." I said to her.
Hearing that, she bolted to get us our meals. Money is a tool to get people to do almost anything. It's sad in a way how now I'm using it to get ahead. Ironically, I could just spawn millions and live in a mansion if I wanted to. In ten minutes, she got us our food and I paid for it. As I promised, she got the change and she was doing a little victory dance. But I didn't care, I ate like a starving man, no a starving Saya-jin. Now I no longer felt weird for eating so much. I shoved, heaved, and chowed down all that food. You couldn't see my fork as I swiftly used to shove all of that bacon down my gullet. Hell, everyone except Rose stopped to watch me eat down that mountain of food. Rose was eating too, a bit distracted to notice me guzzling down so much. Soon, I had devoured all of it and not a scrap was left. I was so full that I let a pleased belch. Rose wrapped up as well seemingly grateful. Soon we were on the road, on our way to Beach City. I did however make a stop at a junkyard because I had an idea for new inventions that would up my chances of survival. A funny thing is I never asked Rose about her sleeping naked…and I don't even bother with it.
Ryker and Rose were rather lucky he stopped here, a pack of motorcycles roared past the road they were walking on. It was the Carlotta Crew, and they were on their ride to Beach City for revenge and unjust mayhem. They arrived at the city limits and it was still morning.
"So, this is where Kinkie Pie lives?" Carlotta said brushing her dreadlocks aside.
"It's Pinkie Pie, Carlotta." Jazz said revving her motorcycle. "And yeah this is the place. What a boring town….at least I'll get Mr. Universe's autograph."
"Soon Beach City will be Burned City, though." One of her gang members said coldly to Carlotta.
"I second that." Carlotta said with pure ice as they rolled into town. The people of Beach City were all partying on the beach due to the lack of gem monster attacks that week. Food, music, the whole package. The Gems were only there due to Garnet's fuzzy future vision, knowing something bad was going to happen. Steven insisted they should relax because the people were starting to feel their flow. Mayor Dewey picked up a drink and offered one to Pearl.
He remarked blushing, "Here. You should relax, because you've earned it."
Pearl didn't really want to accept the drink, but Amethyst swiped it casually guzzling it down. So, the mayor didn't beat around the bush, he asked if a monster coming in a whisper.
"Mayor, you need not worry. There's no Gem monsters today." Steven said in his cheerful tone.
However, the peace was shattered with a shower of bullets in the air, at least not aimed at any people. The Carlotta Crew all rode their bikes on the beach and the people were a bit off-put. Remember, Beach City hasn't had gun crime in the last 200 years. If there were rock creatures able to move fast enough to disarm a gunman and kick your ass, people would probably not bother. But as you see, Carlotta was not very bright. If she was aware of this, she'd be running for the hills. She rolled up close to Big Donut, before getting off her bike, and promptly killing the music by shooting the DJ table with and SPAS-12 shotgun.
"That equipment was custom!" Sour Cream shouted not realizing that she had a gun and could splatter his guts all over the sand.
Thankfully, Carlotta payed little mind to him because her one-track mind was too focused on Rose Quartz.
"All right, you bunch of saltwater shits, listen the hell up! I'm here to put two bullets in the heads of two assholes who live here. Tell us where Pinkie Pie and her shit-faced partner and we won't slaughter you!" She said as her gang surrounded them with their guns aimed.
"Who are you talking about?" The Mayor moving Carlotta's gun out of harm's way.
"Pinkie. She's really tall, pink hair, and innocent looking." She barked.
Steven had a somber look on his face. He thought Carlotta was his mom's old enemy.
"Wait, that sounds like mom." Steven said to her, "But she's dead."
"Mom?" Carlotta said turning to Steven. "Well it looks like we found us a bargaining chip."
Garnet gazed into Carlotta's eyes and noted she and Carlotta looked on dead-on similar. You'd assumed they were twins or at the very least distant cousins. The Gems could have done something if not for all the firepower aimed on them and the innocents. Even Lion didn't budge from under the home. They were screwed.
Back in my world, I could design schematics for machines on my laptop. The things that were impossible to make in the real world, I could do that. Here, I could make science fiction, fact. One of the inventions I got to work on first was a device that could replicate Gem weapons. They would be like an ordinary pair of gloves, and they were built to mimic the properties of Gem weapons. I had to use the tablet to spawn a Scouter for me to repurpose into a Gem Scanner. The Gem Scanner would be to scan Gems to store the information on their weapons and stats to my laptop remotely. Maybe when I get a chance, I'll build a secret lab to further this research as I can't use "Gem Tech" at the moment. Afterwards, Rose and I were back on the road walking on our way to Beach City. It was a quiet morning so I decided to put on some music from my tablet. I don't how we ended up singing Follow Me. I felt like such a dork singing it, and it did pass the time. Soon, we arrived at Beach City's hill leading into town. Rose was excited, and then it hit me. I sensed a familiar energy.
"Rose, I sense her. That crazy Jamaican woman from the bar and I think Steven's in trouble. His ki dropped a bit!" I say getting a bit worried.
When I said that, something in Rose darkened. She outstretched her hand and out of nowhere, her sheath with her sword came flying into her hand. Okay, Star Wars was around in the 80's so…. yeah. We both trudged onward into the chaos. There will be blood, for sure. Hell hath no fury like a Blackthorn scorned. My mother attest to that. Hell also hath no fury like a mad quartz either. And I could attest to that.
Now the reason why Steven's energy dropped, was Carlotta punching the poor kid in the jaw repeatedly because she felt like hurting someone. The people and Gems were all forced to watch this display of brutality. Everyone was unaware of the incoming raging powers.
"Now tell me, where is she?!" Carlotta fumed holding him by the collar.
"I told you she's long gone." Steven said trying to calm her down.
Blood seeped down the side of mouth from Carlotta's assault. Pearl was getting more and more tempted to stab her with a spear. Carlotta threw Steven a short distance away and aimed her shotgun aimed at us with the fiercest look in her eyes.
"You know what, fuck this! Since you won't talk, I'll just shoot your face in. But personally, I can't wait to see the look on all the peoples' faces to see you splattered with the sand. Especially that no-name, unskilled, piece of shit loser who got lucky beating me back at that bar." Carlotta said to Steven. "So goodbye."
The gun fired, and everyone closed their eyes. Opening their eyes, Steven was standing but the Gem's jaws hit the ground seeing who stopped the bullet dead in its tracks. Rose had returned and Ryker had arrived. Both of them were angr….no that's an understatement, they were pissed. Think of Rose akin to Luffy; lovable, strong, loyal, but getting them pissed is a very stupid idea. Amethyst was stuttering, Pearl was stammering with shimmering eyes, and Garnet had a wide grin. Garnet realized that the guy with her had to be the person from her vision. However, that was underlying thoughts. Ruby and Sapphire were speaking to each together through Garnet's mind. The details weren't an issue, but they were deciding to whether to question this or not.
"So it's Pinki…" Carlotta spat out before Ryker said, "Please kindly shut the hell up!"
Ryker turned to Steven and said, "Oi, kid. You may want to get you and the Gems to safety because this is going to be a bloodbath."
Steven didn't question them as he got the people to other side the beach near the Crystal Temple.
"Are they going to fight all of those guys? But they're armed to the teeth!" Buck Dewey said whipping off his shades.
"Yes, they are armed, but those bikers made the mistake of getting Rose angry." Garnet remarked.
Steven asked why and Garnet responded with, "The last time she got this mad, was during one of the battles in the war, for an hour she become a one-woman army and took down 5000 gems in a few minutes. It took all of us to calm down." Steven looked terrified and Amethyst was actually excited by this clearly not grasping how serious Garnet was. As for their fight, Carlotta raised her shotgun at Rose and Ryker.
"Before you die, do you have any last words?" She yelled to them, "Or something to write to your tombstone after I take a dump on it."
Ryker grew a twisted grin and said with an unnerving calm, "Why don't you write, there's no cure for a fool with a gun."
Carlotta fired, and the two shifted out the way. Ryker unsheathed his sword and rushed in first slicing her shotgun in half. Carlotta wisely backed off and let her crew fight them. The crew armed with MAC-12 machine guns all started firing. As they fired, Ryker's tablet started played a familiar battle theme and they made a mad dash towards those bikers. They weaved through the bullets with Rose even slicing several bullets in half with her sword and Ryker twirling his swords like a baton deflecting those bullets with some nicking him.
"I want to learn how to do that!" Connie said with stars in her eyes.
(Poor Pearl…) These guys realized that their bullets were pretty much useless against them, and they dropped their guns.
Ryker and Rose were silent as they worked in sync slashing up their enemies. This was shocking to the Gems considering that they had no idea how he had any connection to Rose. Little did they know, it was that warper power Ryker was tapping into unknowingly.
"Carlotta, I know our crew never runs away from a scrap. But they just turned those guys into a pile of bloody bodies! We need to flee, now!" Jazz said shaking Carlotta desperately.
Rose and Ryker turned their attention to her, and Rose was first to speak this time.
"What's wrong, Carlotta? Isn't that what you wanted? We're just giving you a fight." Rose said stabbing her sword in the sand.
Carlotta sweated in fear seeing them like this. If she knew this would happen, she'd never had taunted them. She was frozen in fear, so Jazz spoke in her place getting in front of her and the monster duo.
"Wait please, we beg your mercy. Please, let us all walk away and I swear on my word we'll leave and never bother your town ever!" Jazz pleaded.
Thankfully, this worked allowing Rose and Ryker to snap out of their silent but dangerous danger only to be unnervingly calm with. Ryker dusted himself off before walking up to Jazz saying, "I hope we don't cross paths or I'll have Death's Razor send you to the end."
Ryker's unnamed katana now had a name to it. Rose kept up the glare, and those bikers bolted. For those injured ones, they bolted desperate to get away. Carlotta looked over at Ryker and Rose with hate-filled eyes as got on her bike.
"You haven't seen the last of me! I'll get my revenge! You'll pay for messing with CARLLLOOOTTTA SAAAANNNTIGGGO!" She said driving away.
Soon the bikers cleared out, the people of Beach City were grateful they were alive. However, they were confused by what just happened. Steven put it best, by stating the obvious.
"What just happened?! Mom, how are you alive?! Who's this guy?!" were all questions Steven wanted answers to.
Steven was asking questions a mile a minute and I had a headache. I raised my hand to stop the kid.
"Steven, listen. I just exerted myself a bit. So maybe get me a stiff drink and some food. I'll tell how Rose is here." I said with a tired sigh.
I tell the people of Beach City it's all over, they go off on their business leaving me, Greg, Rose, and the Gems. Then I noticed, Peridot wasn't with them. Greg immediately hugged Rose bawling his eyes out and that was sweet to see. A few hours later, we were all gathered in the beach house, Peridot included. Apparently, she wasn't in Beach City at the time exploring the same junkyard I made my stop. I was happily munching on my pizza when Garnet asked with the questions especially with where I'm from.
"Garnet, allow me to put it away. You see, I'm not your Earth is where to start. And the name's Ryker." I said getting mild surprise.
"But you seem like an Earthling, except your muscle mass is above average." Peridot said holding my arm.
Without her limb enhancers, I couldn't take her seriously and just find her so cute. So, I didn't pay this no mind.
"So, you're from a parallel earth?" Connie asked me.
"Close. I'm from what's supposedly Earth-Prime. The real world where your world is treated as fiction there." I said finishing my pizza.
"You mean how like that fanfiction about the The Spirit Morph Saga characters finding out people have been writing about them?" Connie said taking the initiative.
I gave a stiff nod and Connie comes closer holding my collar. She asked about their fandom and the Gems seemed mildly interested about that.
"Connie, you wouldn't want to know." I said flatly. "The shipping kinda sucks."
"So, like the Sonic fandom?" She responded.
"Child, please. Your fandom is a nun compared to that." I said, "That's all I'll tell you all for now."
Garnet asked what about this and I explained how I ended up here chained to Rose Quartz to now (I excluded the whole Rose naked thing, because Pearl would have cracked her gem hearing that.) Garnet was not satisfied with the answer, but took it anyway. Rose immediately hugged Steven saying this was the first thing she wanted to do when she woke up. Steven hugging back only made that scene the ultimate sweet moment (I should draw that in my spare time).
"Well now all that is wrapped up, I have one final thing to ask." I said with a tint of seriousness. "Please, I ask of you to let me join the Crystal Gems!"
All were a bit shaken by my request, and Pearl practically said no to my face with just a look. I bring her the woman she practically loved and lusted for only to reject me! Rose insisted on a vote which I got the support of herself, Garnet, Amethyst, Steven, and Connie. Everyone turned to Peridot who hadn't voted that (despite majority in my favor).
"I have decided. It was efficient to have this Ryker join. If what he says is true, he has intimate knowledge on our past, present, and possibly our future. He also possesses massive amounts of strength that above human levels." Peridot said.
"Plus, I can teach Steven and Connie forms of martial arts so they could shoot energy bullets and fly. I could help teach swordfighting techniques." I added. "Also, I'm working my own mechanical weaponry. It's called GemTech."
They questioned this and I demonstrated by scanning Garnet with the Gem Scanner. The data was added to my GemTech.
"I hope this prototype works. GemTech, Garnet!" I said to activate my gloves.
They glowed just like a gem weapon should and there they were on my hand to the Gem's amazement.
"Impressive, you mimicked the fusion's weapon!" Peridot said surprised.
There were some differences in mine, for one they were black and gold. The second thing was they were slightly smaller. I deactivated and quickly removed the gloves to put them away.
"It's still a prototype, but when it's fully functional. I should be able to scan, store information, and perfectly replicate Gem weapons." I said gaining a gasp from Pearl.
Peridot looked at me funny before clinging to my leg saying she had her vote. Yup, I was definitely in. So, in that time, I arrived at a place where adventure was constant, beat up bikers, and got into the Crystal Gems before lunch. I was just so emotional that I shed a few tears of joy.
"Mom….Dad…thank you." I thought to myself before saying, "We should celebrate with a toast."
Using the tablet, I spawned a bottle of sake and those traditional small cups. Peridot would have questioned by tablet if I didn't ask her to pour the sake.
"Wait, isn't sake alcoholic?" Connie asked.
"It's amazake, the sweet non-alcoholic sake. So, it's all good." I said picking up my cup.
When Peridot finished, we all raised a glass.
"To the Crystal Gems! Kampai!" I said before downing mine.
They soon all followed suit for a moment I felt a part of the adventure and there were more to come. As I looked over at Garnet, a thin blush fills my face. Anything can happen.
"Wait a second, Rose. What exactly are you wea…." Pearl asked before Rose was asleep after our drink.
Strange thing was she was still sitting, and Pearl was being a bit spastic about that. As for me, I put my duffel bag and sword down before collapsing on the couch. So sleepy…..I wonder what the days to come will bring.
Ryker had gotten Rose back to Beach City and Steven had finally reunited with his mother. All seemed at peace but with a Blackthorn trouble brews. There's the Cluster, Malachite, and whatever threats come due to Ryker's warping powers. Who's next? You'll have to wait? Next time on Steven Universe Blackthorned!
(A/N: Hey guys, allow me to say how much fun I had writing this chapter. Some of you may think Rose was a little OOC but before say anything about that, remember the Beware the Nice Ones trope. So next chapter, Rose and Ryker get a tour around Beach City and training for Steven and Connie. Let me know in the review what adversary they should face first!)
(Edit 2 – 8/31/17 – I fixed the fight scene to properly foreshadow Ryker's abilities he'll be learning to control later on. I also fixed Connie's dialogue as she learned on the fourth wall too much for me. Thank Nekoboy13 for getting me in gear to do this justice.)
