And here if the second chapter XD I feel I just needed to do something crack-ish. I really enjoyed writing these two chapter so I hope you enjopyed reading them!
I may be fabulous, but you need work.
Lussuria was a patient man; after all he dealt with the Varia, their whims and their lack of tack every day and had dealt with them for years. So he had a saint's patience.
But one thing he could not deal with was how useless squad were. He was figuratively in pain watching as the squad stood in the laundry chamber without a single clue as to how to wash their clothes. It was painful and pitiful.
"Stop." He exclaimed. "Stop it right now before your destroy your clothes!"
Squalo had proceeded to try and wash blood out with cold water.
Mammon had simply tossed her cloaks into the washing basket without pre-treatment.
Bel had proceeded to strip off the 'scraps' and almost ripped and even larger hole in them.
As to Lussuria's assessment Fran was the closest, he at least had the sense to grab some bleach, though what he was doing with it Lussuria didn't know.
Levi had run out of the laundry room as soon as they entered screaming about 'Bossu's throne!'.
Speaking of Boss, the man had a gleeful smirk on his lips as he sipped on the Whiskey he had retrieved on their way into the basement cleaning facility.
Ignoring the boss and dog-like subordinate, Lussuria fluttered into the center of the room with an exaggerated clap to gather everyone's attention. "Alright everyone~! I'm going to show you what everything is." Lussuria danced around the room picking up various cleaning supplies, explaining carefully what each one was used for.
"This is a spot cleaner, if you have a toughie-toughie mark you put this on before washing it~" The eccentric man sang as he waved around a pen-like device.
"This is bleach; you need to be careful because some of your clothes will turn white or blue if you use it. Don't worry though, I made sure your Varia uniforms are far better quality than that~"
"This is a washing machine and dryer, it's simple to use!" Clapping his hands Lussuria pointed to the box of washing power and bottle of softener that sat atop the upright white machine. "You just put one scoop of this powered into the little slide here-" pointing to the drawer he pulled out of the side of the machine, "- and half a capful of this liquid next to it." Smiling as he watched the various members follow his movement Lussuria clapped once more.
"Okay then, I want to see I you all understood that!~"
"Why does the prince have to do peasant chores?" Bel sighed as he grinned, he sat o the floor spinning the spot-remover pen with practiced skills. "Can't you just do it? Peasant woman?"
"Clean your own clothes. Now." With that everyone stopped, clothes were dropped and the washing machine even seemed to stutter under Lussuria's killer intent.
With scrambled feet the entire Varia skittered and slipped around the room trying to clean their mess before they were killed by the Nee-san of Varia.
"Sempai. Why is Lussuria so scary?" but even before Bel could speak Squalo had slapped his hand over Fran's mouth. "Ow Shark-Sempai, that hurt."
"You'll hurt more if you don't keep that loose fucking mouth of yours closed around Lussuria. Learn from that shitty-prince, that fucking insane idiot will kill you if you're not careful."
"Boss~" Lussuria called as he made his rounds and check that everyone was doing okay and wasn't ruining their clothing. "How are you doing? Have you figured out how to work the washing machine yet?"
Xanxus for the most part wanted to roll his eyes, but he knew better than to aggravate the eccentric fighter. Instead a large, vicious smirk lifted his lips and he made two short, sharp whistles. And, wouldn't you know, Levi appeared at his side before the second whistle was finished.
"What can I do for you Bossu?"
Xanxus threw his jacket at Levi's face and smirked when Lussuria only lifted his delicate eyebrow. "Trash, that needs washing."
Levi seemed to brighten like he was given a new umbrella for Christmas. A quick salute and an affirmative 'right away bossu' and the lightning guardians was throwing Bel and Fran from the washer-dryer with a quick, loud exclamation explaining that they could watch the spin-cycle later.
"Boss! That wasn't the point of me teaching you!" Lussuria pouted. "You were supposed to learn to do it yourself."
Xanxus actually squared Lussuria with a deadpan look. "Trash! Since when have I ever done anything for myself? I have you useless pieces of trash to do it for me." As if to reiterate his point Xanxus scanned the room and found Squalo trying to get Fran's hat off of his head. The boss reached down beside his throne and retrieved a new box of washing powder. With an aim that even a baseball pitcher would envy the box sailed through the room and struck Squalo square in the back of the head where it proceeded to explode and sent washing powder not only all over Squalo, but young Fran too.
"Voooiiiii! Idiot boss what do you want?!" An aggravated shark spun around, brushing the washing powder from his long hair as he did, and squared Xanxus with an annoyed glare.
"Rare with a Jacket potato." Xanxus muttered. Squalo seemed to take on an angry look that Lussuria was sure meant the Shark's blood pressure was rather high.
"Stupid fucking boss, ordering us a-fucking-round." Despite his mumbling Squalo left to get Xanxus' steak. Lussuria could only look on with a mix of amusement and exasperation.
"I don't need to learn shit, effeminate-trash." Xanxus smirked, "But teach the other trashes, I'm tired of having to order new pants because that lightning-trash over there keeps shrinking them."
With that Xanxus got up and stalked out of the room, Lussuria could only shake his head at his boss. The point was that Xanxus was supposed to clean his own clothes. Then again, Lussuria followed Xanxus because he was rather unique, deciding that Xanxus was fine Lussuria turned to yell at Mammon who was trying to use her illusions to hide the giant rip in the back of her cloak.
While Lussuria was fabulous- looking and at everything he did- the others could use some work.
"Okay everyone!~ It's time for me to teach you how to sew!~"
I seriously couldn't help myself XD
This was actually supposed to be Xanxus' last line of speech but I thought it was pushing it a little. XD: "But teach the other trashes, I'm tired of having to order new pants because that lightning-trash over there keeps shrinking them; I'm already damn sexy and don't need help from the fucking trash."
Thank you for reading I'm glad you took the time to read this!
~~Bleach-ed-Na-tsu :3
