Chapter 2 – Cards With Suits
(Hey! Since I don't know anyone except for you, do you want to meet up at the intersection for lunch?)
The hat was silent for a painfully long moment. Jaune wondered if his grandma's tricks getting him into the academy were foiled and he could finally go home.
"Ah, unfortunately for you, you still belong here."
Well, another depressing discovery of his depressing existence is nothing; just the straw that breaks the poor blonde's back.
"Sorry for the pause, my lad. You somehow disabled my internal power and I have to rely on energy from the castle." The hat began to blabber on about 'panels' and 'retirement' and 'ozpin' and 'magickal mainframes' and 'dead weirdos.' Jaune understood nothing as usual.
"-magic is found everywhere, I suppose, but I digress. Well, there's only one place to put you… you wouldn't fit in the other three houses because of your special condition… although putting you in Yamaguchi would be funny…"
Jaune squeaked.
The hat laughed and swung the guillotine towards the remnants of his otherwise happy, peaceful future. "Better be English!"
The hat had a lovely faux-Southern London accent when it bellowed the deciding words far louder than their previous one-sided conversation, which turned out to be all in his head. Terrific.
He got up and headed off into a house he knew nothing about.
"Blake Belladonna!" A short pause. "English!" (time to interrogate her more about this house) She sat next to him, but shushed him as soon as he opened his mouth to take a breath of air.
"Dove Bronzewing!" (I can't say anything about him) "Stratta!"
"Sage Hurbs!" (ahh… a clever way of creating contrast… sleeves of differing length) "Meteigner!"
"Kengyo Yatsuhashi!" (he should wear more green… green is his color…) "Stratta!"
"Coco Laetitia!" (nice hat) "English!" She sat on the other pole of the table.
"Sky Lark!" (nothing… ) "Meteigner!"
"Lie Ren." Hmm? Ahh, different name structure. The pauses seemed to get shorter (or was it the haggard feeling of experiencing an endless cycle). "Stratta!"
"Pyrrha Nikos!" (she's on Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes?! Wow we sure have some famous students – another reason why I don't belong here). "Meteigner!"
"Ruby Rose!" (that cloak… is she… probably not, it's a different color… and she wouldn't have changed cloaks all for a wand… I don't even know whose wand this is…) "Stratta!"
"Velvet Scalettina!" (bunny ears… she must practice wild magic then) "Yamaguchi!" (whoa… she seemed really timid… but probably everyone in the school could kill me)
"Weiss Schnee!" (she's hot but she can probably kill me… well everyone can kill me here… grandma… mommy… send help) "Meteigner!"
"Fox Tamor!" (that's the coolest fanny pack I've seen… it's probably cooler than me…) "Meteigner!"
"Russel Thrush!" (cool Mohawk) "English!" He joined Coco at the probably cooler end of the table.
"Sun Wukong!" (brawn, beauty, and maybe some brains – ahh everything I don't have) "Stratta!"
"Neptune Vasilias!" (what a cool magic cannon) "Yamaguchi!"
"Nora Valkyrie!" (is that a really pointy staff or a spear grandma I'm scared) "Yamaguchi!"
"Cardin Winchester!" (douche alert yo) "Yamaguchi!"
"Yang Xiao Long!" (did she steal her little sister's uniform… nah, she probably doesn't have a sibling… since there's no one behind her… wait, who put on my uniform… thanks grandma) "Yamaguchi!"
"Penny!" (ahh I guess there's one last person… she's named after the helltrain…) "English!" She sat in front of him and Blake and smiled cheerfully.
Ozpin rose from his high throne and began to clarify their schedule for the next two weeks. "Over the course of your first week here, you will make friends with your classmates, but especially your house, and meet with your head-of-house twice to clarify your house requirements, decide on your initial classes, and detail your future plans. In your second week, you will start classes and have a final mandatory meeting with your head of house to drop or add additional classes. Only upperclassmen are allowed to skip into higher level classes and only 3rd years with a team can move into a townhouse. You will simply have to live with the other four classmates, no matter their gender or status. All first-years must take two courses – Magical Law and Magical History – no exceptions."
(alright… so the mandatory classes probably don't rely on magic at all and I'll pack my schedule full with classes that don't rely on personal magical abilities like potions and runes… but I'll ask my head of house if I can drop out of beacon first… just in case iguess)
"In a month, you will have a magical combat evaluation in front of your classmates and will continue doing so every other week from that date."
(fuck… I guess I can just let everyone beat me up and then when this school year ends I'm running to france)
"You all must be hungry, but one last thing," An universal groan, "Heads of Houses are – Meteigner – Glynda Goodwitch; Stratta – Bartholomew Oobleck; Yamaguchi – Peter Port; English – Me. Qrow is the primary combat instructor of this school and may sometimes take over English Head duties; however I will be in charge of English for the first two weeks. Now, let us eat!"
He waved his hands rather dramatically; however Jaune saw Professor Goodwitch roll her eyes, wait three seconds until Ozpin did another dramatic gesture, and then wave her riding crop wand. The food arrived in a contrary mood.
"So, where are you two from?" Penny asked after eating nothing.
"Little Hangleton." They looked clueless. "…it's a small village near Hogwarts Forest."
"Ah, I've heard there was some strange activity there thirteen years ago…" Jaune must have looked clueless because Blake said, "Or never mind that. And you, Penny?"
"I was born on the Serpentglider." (I didn't think she came from Serpentglider… who would have a child on that helltrain… I don't know… it doesn't matter)
Jaune broke the awkward silence, chuckling awkwardly, "So, Blake, where are you from?"
"I'm from Lake Aquarius." (ahh the fashionable port city with hundreds of different magical species… but I don't think she's telling the truth either)
"I've heard great stories about that place… "
The conversation died like a weak plant.
Jaune picked at his food. Time to ask dumb questions. "So, what are the qualities of English?"
Blake tiredly opened her mouth to speak, but Penny became more animated as she quickly jumped into conversation.
"English House is primarily defined by individuals who are wild cards and have special talents or skills that should be cultivated for their future team. Often times, the English teammate is the extremely unique variable and so, the team's specialty and purpose is influenced by the special skills of him or her. They have an equal rate of becoming leaders of their team; however, their skills depend on independent study with few examples sharing their talents in the past and they are known as difficult students because many teachers do not have any experience with the talent or skill."
(special skill what special skill…. Proper knowledge of magical substances and some runic knowledge from school…everyone knows this stuff… we all had to learn it from standard education in secondary… why am I special)
"The most famous team under the leadership of an English team-member is our faculty. OBGP or Obligated (with 'D' serving as a letter for 'P') in their youth were able to vanquish several powerful Grimm, like the Witchqueen and Deathroar, through Ozpin's ability 'Causality' which improved the aim and luck of his team to astounding levels of accuracy."
"Hold on, how do we learn what our special talent?"
"Jaune, our housemates only have a vague inkling of their talent." Penny appeared to change her posture to Ozpin's as she lectured. "We only know our true talent as we grow and create bonds with other people."
(that doesn't help at all)
"Dinner will end in three minutes, but Jaune, if you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer to the best of my current mainframes."
"Ah, thanks, Penny."
Out of the corner of his eye, however, Jaune saw Blake examining him like a cat measuring up its mouse prey.
"Curious…." She murmured.
When the English first-years headed to their dorm room, they expected a certain style of lodging, but they were ultimately disappointed. The common room was eclectic and random, but tolerable; although Jaune had no idea what the miniature island model, complete with actual-magma-filled volcano, was for. He probably did not want to know. They entered a large door with a roman number, I, on it.
The room was large enough. There were enough desks for all five of them. The beds seemed large and reasonable comfortable. Their trunks were present. Jaune hoped that his grandmother had enough charity in her heart to pack his things.
However, all five had to share a room. Coco was slightly skeptical, Russel seemed excited, Blake chose a random bed, Penny just smiled, and Jaune… just wanted to know if his grandma packed his onesie.
Coco spoke first, "Boys change and pack first and wait out in the Common Room while the rest of us change and freshen up."
They all agreed; Russel was forced to by consensus and by the betrayal of his fellow man.
Jaune went to check his luggage. A booklet was attached to the top of the trunk and he gently peeled it off. It was a pamphlet containing a map of Beacon, a schedule for various classes and school activities, and various meeting times. His first meeting with Ozpin was tomorrow at 9:00 AM, so right after breakfast ended.
He opened his trunk. All his clothes were neatly packed. Several of his grandmother's magic books were placed in the trunk and school supplies that he probably needed were neatly stowed away. There was an envelope containing money for alchemy and potion supply fees. He dug a little bit more, and found his onesie.
Hallelujah.
He ignored the weird looks as he went to the restroom to change.
Breakfast was a quiet affair. He asked Blake about the book she was reading, 50 shades or something, and read a bit of it. He was a bit traumatized but he had to eat something. Penny read the same bit as he did and merely looked enlightened, as if she found some essential truth about human society.
His classmates were a bunch of weirdoes, but they were alright. Maybe they could be friends someday if he had to stay.
(I would be more hopeful and less accepting of my situation if I didn't know my grandma…. I don't think Ozpin could stop her… she probably taught the guy)
Ozpin's office, along with the other faculty offices happened to be located near the Yamaguchi and Stratta dorms. It's a ten minute trek through gardens and a shallow pond and multiple hallways.
He's almost there when he sees the girl in the white cloak again.
"Arc!" She moves her hand in a motion that feels incomplete and cut wrongly in time.
He doesn't move.
"Arc!" She moves her hand in a motion that feels incomplete and cut wrongly in time.
"Hello…" Is she a ghost? She seems out of this world and the next.
"You have your wand, right?" He does. The weird wand that she gave him, but he can't use because surprise, surprise he's a squib.
She grabs his wrist – "We have to go to breakfast or else all of Qrow's pancakes will be eaten!"
He is pulled slightly back, but the force dragging him disappears. He, however, loses his balance and lands on his butt.
Jaune enters Ozpin's office two seconds late.
The office is full of crystalline glass instruments dancing with the light in sync with each other. As Jaune walks through the office to reach Ozpin, he does not notice the fragile structure cease in their movements and restart again as a suitable distance is reached. Ozpin does however.
Before he even sits down on the open chair, Jaune blurts out, "I don't belong here. I'm a squib."
Ozpin smiles. "Jaune, we know. How about you have a seat?"
A chapter a day keeps the pre-college jitters away.
I'm being productive.
It's not revealed yet, but there is a pretty good reason why Jaune is a squib.
