*TRIGGER WARNINGS READ AT OWN RISK* enjoy :) song used is Baby Don't by BMike
~One Year Later~
"Elsa! This is the third time this week you've been late! It so frequent now." North yelled, Elsa was just looking down in shame she knew all this already, she was a failure, a spoilt, bratty one. She hadn't even been able to sleep, she failed the simplest things.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean too. Are you going to fire me?" She asked raising her head slowly, North sighed and looked down,
"No, just try to come in on time, oh and you weren't here for the meeting. We're having a uniform change, the others will tell you," North muttered, "now go do your job love, my son is visiting this afternoon."
Elsa left quickly, she though over in her head and muttered the words again.
"I've been used by guys,
I've been hurt by girls,
I've been hit by my mum,
And cursed by the world,
So I keep hurting myself,
Wantin' to be perfect,
I'm waiting for someone to,
tell me that I'm worth it"
She went into the break room and tied her apron on over her black skirt. She went outside and saw people waiting with menus in the restaurant and went over.
"Hello, my name is Elsa. Can I take your order?" She asked not looking up from the notepad. She noted what they wanted and told the cook. This was normally how the days went. Slow and boring.
By the time it was her break she was tried out, Flynn sat next to her on the couch,
"How many customers?" He asked annoyed, Elsa laughed softly, it sounded so forced though. Flynn was concerned, like everyone else. Everyone worried about her, she keeps getting more distance. Rupunzel didn't seem to notice but she was in her own world. Astrid and hiccup knew but nobody seemed to care, or act. Flynn stood up and faced Elsa,
"You need anything tell me ok?" He asked making sure he saw her nod before walking of. Silently Elsa wanted him to stay, so she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts. She started to eat her baguette she made at home when the thoughts kicked in,
Wow your eating that
Fat pig eat anymore Anna's mobile number will be the number you next see on the scale.
Honestly, do you know how many calories that is
Disgusting
Pathetic
Elsa threw her barely eaten baguette in the bin and brought her knees up to her face. She whimpered when she felt her belly rub slightly on her thigh. She really was fat. Maybe she should stop eating for a while, cut a couple of pounds, maybe just not eat as much, or she could just die. She never thought about her death before. She had many opinions to die by like hanging herself, overdosing, knife, blade. So many opinions.
'Shes only seventeen her whole life head of her.'
She stood up and walked to the toilet sitting in the loo, the door locked. Her breath was shaking as she reached into her shirts breast pocket, she took a risk today, she was wearing a white silky shirt that showed her collar bone a tiny bit of her wrists. Elsa knew better then to cut her wrists, so she bruised them. She cut her upper arms. Bruised the lower. It made it no better but to Elsa it was perfect. She rolled her sleeve up and stopped, the shirt was white. Elsa sighed and rolled it back down. This time lifting her skirt a little to find her soul. There was no room on her thigh, no clean spot. She grunted and cut over them.
The build up to the marks was what Elsa loved, then she had the release, the cut itself. It's like saying to a child at the beginning of the day that in the evening after tea. The whole day the child will be excited, tension will be building so strong that the pleasure and happiness that after you want so much more.
She sat and watched as her leg bleed until it could no longer do so and wiped it up with a few tissues, nobody would notice her missing presence, nobody cared enough.
Worthless people cut darling
Immature people would notice you are missing
I wish you could see how bloody stupid you are Elsa
'She hates work cause the people there discredit her.'
Elsa stood up and straightened her skirt, she walked out of the bathroom with the smile she'd perfected over the years. Her thighs were sore and kept rubbing on her skirt but Elsa took pleasure in it, happiness in it, excitement. She walked into the break room of out her apron back on when she saw North and everyone else sitting on the sofas talking, once she entered they stopped talking.
See they don't care that you were gone
Wouldn't care if you died
Elsa gripped her waist, anxieties and self consciousness creeped around her like a wind. But then Flynn and Hiccup both left squeezing her shoulder as they went back to work,
"Good luck." Hiccup whispered before leaving. Why would she need luck?
'But everyday she just get lower with her self-esteem'
"Elsa this is Jack my son, Jack this is Elsa." North bellowed from the corner, behind him a boy around eighteen stood up, walking in front of his father. The boy had light blonde hair and blue eyes. He wore a simple blue hoodie and brown shorts, yet no shoes or socks. He was leaning of a staff with a crooked edge. He nodded at her with a smirk, eyeing her. Elsa shuffled her feet and locked her fingers together.
'Nobody seems to get ya, ya feel you're on your own'
"Hi." He said winking. Elsa sighed,
"Hello." She replied, a sharp tone in her voice, her mind swirled and suddenly she wished she was in bed, the safest place. Jack looked at her a little confused but ignored it and shrugged. Walking to North's office.
"Elsa, he's going to be working here so be nice." North says gently before following Jack. Elsa walked back into the restaurant and continued work, there wasn't more she could do.
When the restaurant was finally closing Astrid walked up to Elsa,
"Hey Elsa, there's a pool party tonight, you should come." She said nudging Elsa who tensed and opened her mouth. She looked around and saw everyone was in the break room, except North. He left ages ago so that he could do something like, well nobody knew, he did leave suddenly a lot.
"I-I might not-t b-be able too." She stuttered under pure pressure, Flynn and Rupunzel made a whiny noise,
'Oh come on it'll be fun!" Hiccup smiled placing an arm around Astrid's shoulder. Elsa shook her head giving them a small smile. Everything in the room grew colder. Elsa shivered and threw her jean jacket on wrapping it around her small body.
"Sorry guys Anna isn't allowed to be left at home alone." Everyone, except Jack, knew about Elsa's sister, they didn't know about what happened behind closed doors. She was thankful none the less.
"I'm sure she'd be ok for a few hours El." Flynn pressed, she sighed, there was no way she would be getting out of this one.
"Fine I'll come, what time?" She asked looking outside nervously it was getting dark, at only 7? Elsa frowned and looked to them expectantly,
"Oh at nine and bring Anna, jack! You should come too." Rupunzel excitedly squealed, Hiccup and Astrid fake palmed. They didn't like Jack, not after they saw how Jack'd treated girls speed slept with. Of course Rupunzel, Flynn and Elsa didn't know so they looked at each other, and smiled.
"Sure, I can." Jack smiled and threw a blue hoodie on, Elsa looked and saw silver embroidery on it. It amazed her how people could be so detailed when making clothes.
'I know your heart is hurting, you think the world is in'
Elsa bid them all a quick goodbye and walked home, she walked through the door to see Anna eating Pizza in the living room watching television.
"Hey Anna, my work mates invited me to a pool party tonight at nine, would you like to come?" She asked nervously. Elsa twisted her thumbs around the other and bit her lip.
"Sure." Was her sisters response, Elsa just sighed in relief that it wasn't sharp or emotionless, Anna had genuinely sounded happy to go with her.
Elsa walked to her room, deciding to take a quick nap before the party. She payed on her bed, not bothering to get under the duvet.
~Dream~
He was coming for me knife in his hand. His smirk lingered on his perfectly sculptured face. To me he was the devil but also the angel. I was terrified. Most people just guessed we were the perfect couple. Always happy, but everything was fake. Behind closed doors he was evil, abusive. He held the sharply edged knife to my collar bone digging slightly. No blood was drawn yet, like I said, yet.
"Elsa, what to do with you." He teased. His face got closer to mine as the knife slashed my shoulder. A strained cry left my lips as hot tears burned my cheeks. The unbearable pain scorched my skin, my once white sleeve covered in red sticky blood oozing out of the wound. My breaths turned into short gasps as I begged for air. Crying and bleeding left such a state in you that you forget to breath. He leaned closer till I felt his breath on my skin.
"Boo, what should I do know, maybe this?" He questioned slashing my wrist making my scabs already there from the morning burst open. This time a ear piercing scream erupted me. He growled,
"What did I say about screaming?" He hissed in my face holding the knife above my leg. The tears started coming down in water falls this time.
"P-please don't! I love you please don't." I begged, his smirk returned. He dropped the knife and held his hand out to me. I took it and he lead me outside the house. The moonlight sky shined around us. My tears stopped, I felt safe again. My head started spinning and I fell to the ground head smacking the pavement.
~End Of Dream~
Elsa woke up panting, she looked over to the clock next to her 8:15. 'Shit' Elsa thought. She sat up and ran her hand through her hair in deep thought,
She'd never had a dream that bad before,
'The next day she's feeling better then the day before.'
She walked to her chest of drawers and got a pair of denim 3/4 length jeans and a light brown jumper. Elsa quickly walked into the bathroom, locking the door. She sat on the toilet and looked in the mirror. She was doing it, going to a party. If you'd told her this a year ago she'd have ignored you and cried for weeks but it was happening. For real. Elsa looked her her reflection and grabbed some concealer hiding her dark shadows and the blemishes around her nose. She put eyeliner and mascara on her eyes and saw herself. She looked a little more presentable. She smiled at her reflection choosing the most reliable type of smile and changed into the clothes in front of her.
'Even cracked a couple smiles as she walked the corridors.'
Elsa looked at the outfit, it was ok, she could just say she was too ill to go in the pool and swim or maybe she could skip. No, they'd ask her about it tomorrow. The jumper was thinner and showed more of her collars then Elsa had hoped but it was ok. She pulled her hair up into a high messy ponytail and walked out, dumping her old clothes in her room.
Elsa continued into the kitchen and fixed herself a glass of water and a cup of tea. She drank the water quickly to quench the hunger in he stomach for as long as possible and drank her tea slowly. She sat on a stool and leaned her head in her hands on the counter. She breathed in and out deeply, she was watching the way the corners patterns twisted. It amazed her, the smallest things.
Finally Anna showed up in a green tank too and black jeans, Elsa smiled and pressed her lips into a thin line.
"You ready?" She asked faking the cheerfulness that made Elsa want to throw up.
"Yah I guess."
"So how's school?"Elsa asked trying to break some of the tension that was surrounding the room like a wall of ice. Elsa got ready for silence, the hopeless stupid silence that'd fall whenever one of them, basically always Elsa, tried to talk and it would be uncomfortable for the rest of the journey. What surprised Elsa was when she heard a large breath.
"It's good, teachers are nice and so are the people." Anna replied no sharp tone or anything, in fact she turned to face Elsa and smiled. Elsa felt her heart pound in her chest. Happiness, someone she truly hadn't felt on a long, long time. Maybe she was happy because she had been invited to a party or because Anna had been so normal to Elsa. It was a fair choice.
"Lovely."
Rupunzel's house pulled up into view it was large and there was a steady beat of music echoing into the streets. Anna had left the car, she was already at the door waiting patiently for her sister. They knocked at the door and none other than Flynn answered smirking,
"Hi." He purred, Anna giggled and walked silently until she saw someone she knew and ran off.
The rest of the evening was a blur if Elsa was going to be honest. She just remembers the heavy beat, the sweating, writhing bodies and the smell of smoke and alcohol in the air.
Nobody really knew how the five of them ended up sitting outside on chairs. Talking, laughing, chatting, Elsa felt so out of place here, she was fidgeting a lot and looked around. Occasionally they'd include her in the conversations but Elsa didn't mind. She liked just thinking.
'And everybody in the room just seemed to point and laugh'
