Episode 2: Captain Jack and the Adventures of Booty Cove... Oh Yeah, and
Texas, Walker Ranger
The scene: Booty Cove, Alabama. In a cave by the sea, pirates are loading their ship with booty.
Enter Texas.
TEXAS: [draws guns] Stop right there, plunderers!
PIRATE 1: Oh, sure. Every day, it's the same thing. Somebody comes in and tells us to stop pillaging and looting, blah blah blah, and we shoot him. Can't we just get a license or something?
TEXAS: Pirates. Why did it have to be pirates? I mean, I thought this was a western.
PIRATE 2: You can't get a license for pillaging!
PIRATE 3: What about looting?
PIRATE 2: Heck, no!
PIRATE 1: Well, what about piracy in general?
PIRATE 2: Hey, I know that guy! He's Texas, Walker Ranger! Shouldn't you be walking around Texas? You are a Texas Walker!
TEXAS: Well, I guess I got tired of walking around Texas. I took the train here.
PIRATE 3: What's a train?
PIRATE 2: Shut up! He'll think we're stupid.
PIRATE 3: But we are...
Enter Captain Jack.
JACK: Arr, mateys!
PIRATES: Arr, Cap'n Jack!
JACK: What be the problem here, mister Texas, Walker Ranger? What a stupid name, arr.
PIRATES: ARR!
TEXAS: Well, there was a mix-up with the birth certificate, and...
[murmuring ensues among pirates]
PIRATE 1: I heard his parents WANTED him to be named Texas. And I hear he's really from somewhere called "Walker"?
PIRATE 2: Let's shoot him!
JACK: Arr, I think we should shoot him.
PIRATES: ARR!
TEXAS: Arrgh.
JACK: So what are you here for, Texas? Are you here to close down Cap'n Jack's Bitch Lagoon?
TEXAS: No, I'm here to stop your plundering!
JACK: Arr, I thought me prices were bad enough over at the Bitch Lagoon.
TEXAS: I'm NOT HERE ABOUT THE BITCH LAGOON!
JACK: Arr.
TEXAS: I'm HERE to SHOOT YOU!
JACK: I'm afraid that's unacceptable, matey.
TEXAS: So I hear.
Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Texas, Walker Ranger! Or something.
The scene: Booty Cove, Alabama. In a cave by the sea, pirates are loading their ship with booty.
Enter Texas.
TEXAS: [draws guns] Stop right there, plunderers!
PIRATE 1: Oh, sure. Every day, it's the same thing. Somebody comes in and tells us to stop pillaging and looting, blah blah blah, and we shoot him. Can't we just get a license or something?
TEXAS: Pirates. Why did it have to be pirates? I mean, I thought this was a western.
PIRATE 2: You can't get a license for pillaging!
PIRATE 3: What about looting?
PIRATE 2: Heck, no!
PIRATE 1: Well, what about piracy in general?
PIRATE 2: Hey, I know that guy! He's Texas, Walker Ranger! Shouldn't you be walking around Texas? You are a Texas Walker!
TEXAS: Well, I guess I got tired of walking around Texas. I took the train here.
PIRATE 3: What's a train?
PIRATE 2: Shut up! He'll think we're stupid.
PIRATE 3: But we are...
Enter Captain Jack.
JACK: Arr, mateys!
PIRATES: Arr, Cap'n Jack!
JACK: What be the problem here, mister Texas, Walker Ranger? What a stupid name, arr.
PIRATES: ARR!
TEXAS: Well, there was a mix-up with the birth certificate, and...
[murmuring ensues among pirates]
PIRATE 1: I heard his parents WANTED him to be named Texas. And I hear he's really from somewhere called "Walker"?
PIRATE 2: Let's shoot him!
JACK: Arr, I think we should shoot him.
PIRATES: ARR!
TEXAS: Arrgh.
JACK: So what are you here for, Texas? Are you here to close down Cap'n Jack's Bitch Lagoon?
TEXAS: No, I'm here to stop your plundering!
JACK: Arr, I thought me prices were bad enough over at the Bitch Lagoon.
TEXAS: I'm NOT HERE ABOUT THE BITCH LAGOON!
JACK: Arr.
TEXAS: I'm HERE to SHOOT YOU!
JACK: I'm afraid that's unacceptable, matey.
TEXAS: So I hear.
Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Texas, Walker Ranger! Or something.
