Episode 2: Captain Jack and the Adventures of Booty Cove... Oh Yeah, and Texas, Walker Ranger

The scene: Booty Cove, Alabama. In a cave by the sea, pirates are loading their ship with booty.

Enter Texas.

TEXAS: [draws guns] Stop right there, plunderers!

PIRATE 1: Oh, sure. Every day, it's the same thing. Somebody comes in and tells us to stop pillaging and looting, blah blah blah, and we shoot him. Can't we just get a license or something?

TEXAS: Pirates. Why did it have to be pirates? I mean, I thought this was a western.

PIRATE 2: You can't get a license for pillaging!

PIRATE 3: What about looting?

PIRATE 2: Heck, no!

PIRATE 1: Well, what about piracy in general?

PIRATE 2: Hey, I know that guy! He's Texas, Walker Ranger! Shouldn't you be walking around Texas? You are a Texas Walker!

TEXAS: Well, I guess I got tired of walking around Texas. I took the train here.

PIRATE 3: What's a train?

PIRATE 2: Shut up! He'll think we're stupid.

PIRATE 3: But we are...

Enter Captain Jack.

JACK: Arr, mateys!

PIRATES: Arr, Cap'n Jack!

JACK: What be the problem here, mister Texas, Walker Ranger? What a stupid name, arr.

PIRATES: ARR!

TEXAS: Well, there was a mix-up with the birth certificate, and...

[murmuring ensues among pirates]

PIRATE 1: I heard his parents WANTED him to be named Texas. And I hear he's really from somewhere called "Walker"?

PIRATE 2: Let's shoot him!

JACK: Arr, I think we should shoot him.

PIRATES: ARR!

TEXAS: Arrgh.

JACK: So what are you here for, Texas? Are you here to close down Cap'n Jack's Bitch Lagoon?

TEXAS: No, I'm here to stop your plundering!

JACK: Arr, I thought me prices were bad enough over at the Bitch Lagoon.

TEXAS: I'm NOT HERE ABOUT THE BITCH LAGOON!

JACK: Arr.

TEXAS: I'm HERE to SHOOT YOU!

JACK: I'm afraid that's unacceptable, matey.

TEXAS: So I hear.

Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Texas, Walker Ranger! Or something.