Darcy is a cat. Again. Also, Hulk.
Darcy was running. Why? Oh, no reason, she was just being chased by a Doom-bot, no biggie, happens all the time.
Oh wait, no it doesn't! Granted, it happens more now than it used to, but-
She squeaked, dodging a blast from the robot and jumped (okay, she climbed. She's fat as a cat, okay) over the remains of what once was a car, narrowly escaping the swipe that came at her from her right.
Oh, great. Now there are two!
You know what? Fuck this, and fuck her life! If her mom found out about this she'd have an aneurism, and her dad would lock her up in a tower, and her brothers would hiss and ball up at anything that so much as looked at Darcy funny!
(This is why they would never know)
Did she really just use cat metaphors to describe her angry brothers?
She barely had time to be horrified about her thought process when another blast –this time from her left- caused her to sharply turn down another street.
Why were they even chasing a cat!
Darcy was starting to get tired (she swore if she survived this she was going to start exercising again) but she couldn't slow down and risk being fried by droid rejects!
She had to find an Avenger (which, duh), preferably Thor, but right now she wasn't picky! She'd even take the Black Widow, who scares her more than the Doom-bots!
Climbing over more rubble, crawling under a surprisingly still intact car –oh wait, spoke too soon- then banked left away from the fire that was just started by a discharge of evil –aimed at her, the bastard- and tried to be as small a target as possible as more 'bots showed up.
Fuck her life!
Darcy had never been more relieved to hear the Hulks roar. Not that she had anything against the Hulk, though he was pretty intimidating, just normally she only heard recordings of it, and…
This is how she was going to meet him? Really, as a small furry thing running from Doom-bots? Talk about first impressions.
It didn't matter now, of course, because if Hulk saved her he would forever be her favorite, ever.
She squawked when she felt heat graze her tail. Darcy quickly tucked said appendage between her legs as she headed towards the steadily-getting-louder grumbles of her soon-to-be savior. She sped up (something she hadn't thought possible a minute ago) when she saw the large green shape of Banners alter ego.
Never thought she'd be running toward the Hulk before.
Bruce would be horrified.
He spotted her as the girl-cum-cat got closer and growled (at her or at the 'bots chasing her, she couldn't say) but Darcy paid it no mind, running through his legs (good thing Stark was able to make pants that stayed on or else that could have been awkward) and hid as close as she dared, even as the Hulk smashed the machines that had been chasing her across the city for the last half hour.
Yep, Hulk was her favorite.
She peaked around the pile of concrete when the noise started to die down to find the Hulk staring at her with a strange look on his face (he smashed the Doom-bot that trying to sneak up on him without looking away, though he did snort when it twitched on the ground).
Darcy was a little nervous now that there wasn't anything to distract him. While she was pretty sure he wouldn't smash her, it was still uncomfortable to be the center of Hulks attention.
After a few minutes of a staring contest, and realizing the Hulk wasn't going to move towards her, the kitty slowly crept out from her hiding spot, staying low out of instinct as she made her way closer to the bulking mass of anger.
"Mew?" she questioned when she was about a yard away. The Hulk huffed and dropped to a sitting position (Darcy had a little trouble staying up right when the ground shook at this) still staring at her, though now that she was closer it looked less like a glare and more like innocent confusion.
It was adorable, and made Darcy wonder if he'd ever seen a cat before. He probably hadn't, she realized, considering they would run away when they heard him coming. Actually most things ran away when they heard him coming.
Well, that was a little heartbreaking.
Darcy stood up, deciding she was in no danger, and trotted over to Mr. Green and, with a little hesitation, rubbed her head against his leg. The wonder that appeared on his face killed the rest of her reservations and she crawled into his lap with a little trouble (he was huge) and flopped on her back, still tired from her earlier dash only now without adrenaline she was absolutely exhausted.
The Hulk actually cooed at her! If anyone ever said anything bad about him ever again she was scratching them in the face.
She forced herself not to tense –instinct- when he slowly lifted her into his arms and stood up, and wow, he was tall! Looking down from her cradle made of arm, she felt like the queen of the world.
Oh, she could get used to this –what? She liked high placed, okay?
Darcy purred as the Hulk started petting her, causing him to breakout into a grin, which was, well, terrifying, yet she couldn't find it in her to be scared. Instead she pawed at his hand, directing it to under her chin, and rubbed her face against his chest.
This is why she felt the growl rumble and the tension seep into his frame. Startled, the cat looked up at his face, then followed his gaze when she found out it wasn't directed at her (which was conflicting, because while she didn't want to be on the end of a glare from the Hulk, she also wanted to be the center of attention).
It was Captain America, standing with his hands up in the usual I-mean-no-harm position; his eyes kept flicking between the Hulk and Darcy, obviously trying to figure out the next course of action. Next was Widow, her eyes automatically going to the cat the Hulk was cradling. She tensed, standing next to the captain.
It would seem the fight was over and everyone was assembling. That's just great.
Ironman flew over with Hawkeye in tow. "Hey what's everyone looking so glum for? We won! We should- oh, that's not good, is it?" He ask when he landed, releasing the archer, and tried to be as non-threatening as possible as he made his way closer –ignoring Cap's hissed "Stark!"- "What'cha got there, Buddy?" The Hulk growled again, hugging Darcy closer, practically shielding her from view with his bulk.
"Why does the big guy have Darcy-Kitty?" Barton whispered to Natasha, who didn't answer. Tony took off his helmet and raked a hand through his hair and looked over at Steve, "Now what?"
"Hulk," Cap started cautiously, "Put the cat down, now." a growl and tightening arms, and okay, enough of this. Wiggling enough to get her head out of Hulks armpit, she pawed at his face and meowed, drawing the attention back to her.
Looking up she gave the most pathetic look she could, before trying to convey that she wanted down, pointing the best she could with her paw. His green face scrunched up briefly, before he seemed to get it –and whoever said he wasn't smart could suck it- and reluctantly put her down.
Darcy made sure to rub against his leg to let him know he didn't do anything wrong, then gave the other Avengers the driest look she could muster.
They looked really uncomfortable, so she must have done it right.
Then Thor showed up.
"My friends, what a most tremendous battle won!" He shouted jovially, obviously not picking up on the atmosphere. He adopted a confused look when he spotted her. "Lady Darcy, what are you doing on a battle field such as this?"
She meowed at him.
Behind her she heard a groan; looking back she realized the Hulk was turning back into Banner.
Bruce looked up holding his head, "Did we win?"
"Yup!" Tony answered before anyone else could say anything, offering his hand to help the other man up "We were just about to go get something to eat. You in?" He asked, acting completely normal, as if the Hulk hadn't been acting extremely possessive of cat-Darcy before Bruce had transformed back.
Bruce smiled at him, taking the proffered hand, "Sure."
Thor came over and picked Darcy up, and everyone started moving. Darcy relaxed and started drifting as the comfortable chatter filled the air, the exhaustion finally catching up to her.
Clint's "Next time we should take pictures," followed by Thor and Bruce's confused "Of what?" was the last thing she heard before she drifted off.
And if Darcy actually started to seek the Hulk out whenever she could, well, she wouldn't admit anything.
A/N: I think this hit at least two of loretta537's (AO3) standing requests. If not, well I tried.
Real Life (Can be skipped): Edit: Just found out my sister reads this, so no more about her.
