My computer buzzes. The first reviews have arrived. Everyone around looks confused, and Remus leans in curiously to examine my Apple laptop.

I announce, "The first question comes from...Jily4ever!"

Ooh this is such a good idea! My question is for James: What tactic do you think will get Lily to go out with you?

James' hand flies to his hair, and he seems to be looking at everywhere in the room except for a certain redhead on his right.

"I'm not sure," he says.

Remus rolls his eyes slightly. "Yeah, mate, I'm not sure that you've made it obvious enough. You're going to have to start dropping hints."

Sirius pipes up. "Hints like, it's time to go out with me."

Lily smiles slightly, then notices that I'm staring at her and pretends that she had been frowning. Naive, naive little Lily. She thinks that we don't catch onto and analyze everything.

"Okaaaay, next question," I say, "this is from Luna007."

Sirius - why is your hair so glorious?

"Glad you asked," Sirius says breezily, "Luckily for me, it's a pretty easy process, considering it's natural."

Remus starts to cough purposefully. "What Sirius means is, he has dozens of cans of hair product shoved under the bathroom - OOF!" Sirius pushes Remus off the bench.

Sirius turns back to me. "As I was saying, my hair is like this because a) that's how I roll and b) maybe I get a little help sometimes from Morgana's Locks."

I do a quick google search. Surprisingly, Hogwarts gets pretty good service. Morgana's Locks is a female mousse. I smirk and screenshot it for future blackmail material.

"This next one is another one from Jily4ever."

Why is James so hot.

James mutters under his breath, "Who is this Jily and why is she so obsessed with me?"

"James, do not get us started on that. We will run out of time. But don't worry your pretty little face about it. Who wants to answer the question?"

Peter's hand shoots up into the air. "Well, James is a good Quidditch player, he's a good friend, he - "

Sirius interjects. "Jeez, you do want his head to get any bigger? I'm going to have to start shooting him down to counterbalance your flattery. James, you're ugly."

"Thanks, Padfoot."

I clap my hands to get their attention. "Okay, let's get a question for Lily! This is from Brown Eyes."

Hey, DKMV! I love how all my favorite people are in the same place ;) Petition for Lily to sit on James' lap for the rest of the interview.

Lily reddens. "That's not a question!" she protests.

I shrug evilly. "You have to do what the reviewers say. I don't make the rules," I say. Even though I totally do. Did I mention you guys can force our guests to do whatever you want them to do?

Lily heaves a big breath of air and walks over to James. He looks up at her expectantly, blushing slightly too. She places her hand on the back of his neck to steady herself, and then tentatively rests on his thigh.

Ignoring Sirius' whoops of "PROGRESS", Lily turns to me quickly.

"Let's move onto the next question," she pleads.

Snivelus asks, When is Snape going to wash his hair?

"Huh," I say. My eyes scan the room, even though I already know who's in it. And who's missing.

I summon my house elf. "Please retrieve Severus Snape," I say. James' hands tighten faintly on Lily's waist. Lily pretends like she doesn't feel it.

The huge doors of the Great Hall open and Snape shuffles in. Immediately, his beady eyes narrow when he sees Lily sitting on James.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"


A/N: Make sure to leave your question below! The characters can't wait to get on with the interview...