AN: Once again, I'd like to thank my lovely beta Tess who is both my biggest cheerleader and the person who tugs on my ear whenever I write something stupid.

Chapter two: Addicted

I'm so addicted to all the things

You do when you're going down on me

In between the sheets

Or the sound you make

With every breathe you take

It's not like anything

When you're loving me
-
Saving Abel

Sometimes people do something for the last time to quench their thirst once and for all. One last cigarette, one last fuck, one last date. We convince ourselves to believe that the longing will go away if we do it one more time. As though the thrill will go away and the appeal will magically fade. Maybe it works for some people, but in Hunter's case it only made the itch worse. Ever since that night with Sebastian Smythe, he couldn't wash away the memory of the boy's body pressed against his own. He couldn't erase the image of Sebastian's lust-blown eyes and when the moon was hung low on the sky and his room was cold and dark, it wasn't easy to keep the sounds of Sebastian's moans away.

It had been entire two weeks since that episode. Two weeks of dodging imaginary bullets from Sebastian that never came. He expected to be met with goading and teasing, or at least a stray remark. But apart from misplaced stares, Sebastian didn't say a word. The Warblers were easy to fool. He just said that he had drunk too much and took a cab back to Dalton. But Sebastian? He just looked at him with that same judging expression that implied that he knew Hunter was full of lies. There was something about the smirk he donned with pride that made Hunter go insane and at times it felt as though the other was teasing him silently. But he never said anything. Hunter didn't know what was worse. The deafening silence or the taunting glares. A part of him wished that Sebastian would just call him out on his bullshit so that he could tell the other that he wasn't gay. However, another part of him shied away from the confrontation. A tiny, miniscule part of his mind contemplated telling him the truth, but that thought was even scarier than all the other put together. So he did the best thing he could and shoved the thoughts aside. Out of sight, out of mind.

Usually Hunter looked forward to Warbler practices, but the past two weeks it gave him a headache. Whenever Sebastian opened his mouth to say something - all though most of it was critique - his heart started beating faster, worrying about what Sebastian might say. He was living in a constant state of fear where his nerves jumped just at the sight of the brown-haired boy. But he never said anything. Not until now.

Hunter was stacking stray pages of sheet music that that the Warblers left behind after practice. He was thinking about how relaxing it would be to take a nice, warm shower to calm his nerves when he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. Without even looking, his heart jumped in his chest. Please don't let it be Sebastian. Please don't let it be Sebastian. Please don't let it be Sebastian, he chanted in his mind as he turned around.

"Smythe," Hunter's voice was sugary sweet and unnaturally high. "Do you need help with the song?" he asked, jumping at the chance of having the first word. Maybe if he pretended that nothing was wrong, Sebastian wouldn't want to bring up anything uncomfortable. "Your dance steps seemed to be lagging somewhat at the bridge," he offered, trying to be as professional as possible as steer the conversation on a safe path from the start. They hadn't talked about it for two weeks. What was the possibility that Sebastian wanted to talk about it now? He probably just wanted a solo, something he definitely deserved, but Hunter had been putting off that decision so that he wouldn't have to talk to Sebastian anytime soon. But at the same time, he found himself wanting to be closer to him. It was highly confusing, to say the least.

"My dance steps are perfect," Sebastian scoffed, his eyes accusing and this time he was judging more than the seemingly perfect facade that Hunter was hiding behind. "But that wasn't what I wanted to talk about," Sebastian smirked, so carelessly as though nothing in the world could touch him. There was something in the whole way Sebastian carried himself, as though he was walking on a silk cushion carpet meant for royalty only. Nothing swayed him; nothing affected him besides to earn a simple scoff and a snarl at most. It was infuriating at its best and terrifying at its worst.

Hunter wasn't one of those kids who second-doubted himself to the point of a breakdown. He was relatively sure of his assets and at any given point, he could tell anyone three of his weaknesses and three of his strengths without even batting an eyelash. He was certain of his abilities and people rarely caught him off guard. But the calmness that Sebastian possessed haunted him like a ghost. Dread crept up his skin at Sebastian's words, the prickling feeling of goosebumps running up his arms.

"So what do you want to talk about? You know that I haven't decided on a solo yet. Jeff asked like.. fifteen minutes ago," Hunter rolled his eyes. The papers in his hands were already neatly stacked and his fingers itched to have something else to fiddle with without looking like an idiot. He hated that Sebastian could make him feel like this. But he hated it more when his heart fluttered at the thought of Sebastian giving him any sort of attention. It was a hopeless game of tug-o-war where one side strived to be closer to the asshole and the other tried to get as far away from him as possible.

"You, actually. I wanted to talk about you."

Hunter's blood ran cold at that statement, leaving behind all thoughts of how flattering it was that Sebastian was wasting time on him. No, now he just wanted to get out of there. He wanted to close his eyes and walk as fast as his legs could carry him and lock himself up in his single room where no one could bother him, not even Sebastian Smythe.

But running away would seem even more suspicious, so he cleared his throat and balled his fists around the brittle paper instead, feeling it bend under his nervous touch. "I already told you that I haven't decided on the solos yet - and yes - that includes myself," he feigned disinterest. Hunter stashed the sheet music in his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder. He saw an opening for his departure and was more than willing to grab it. "I believe that will be it. I'll see you at practice tomorrow," he murmured hastily, making way to the door that was wide open. His steps were carefully calculated. He didn't want to walk too fast in case Sebastian thought that he was running away, but he didn't want to seem like he was lagging behind and thus giving the boy another opportunity to talk to him.

"...What about the fact that you are just as cock-loving as the next gay Warbler? Is that something we will talk about at practice tomorrow too?" Sebastian hissed under his breath, but the sound reached Hunter's ears easily.

Hunter emitted a soft gasp, the grip he had around his bag tightening without reason. The words washed against his mind like a sea of ice cold water against a rock. Numbing, shattering, painful. His fight-or-flight instincts kicked in and yet again, he felt an inexplanable need to run out the door and lock himself in his room. The thick walls of his single dorm room would provide the safety and isolation that he needed. But the fact of the matter was that Sebastian was there and he was very real. No matter how much he wanted to run, couldn't run away from this.

The only thing he could do was to slam the massive door shut, trapping both of them inside the choir room. If he couldn't escape, neither could Sebastian. But most importantly, he didn't want anyone to be listening in on their conversation. His mind was already reeling at the thought of someone hearing Sebastian's crude words, but his only consolation was that this part of the school was relatively empty after school hours.

"I'm not-" he started before Sebastian interrupted him.

"Save your bullshit for someone else, Clarington. The bottom line is that you are not completely straight and I'm more than okay with that. I don't want to listen to your sob story on why you don't dare come out of the closet. I'm not interested in reassurances that you like girls too, if you even like girls," Sebastian took a deep breath, but he made it look like an intentional rhetorical pause. Within the short gap it gave Hunter, he managed to wheeze in a, "I do. I do like girls," making Sebastian roll his eyes dramatically. If Sebastian wasn't so pretty, Hunter was sure that someone would have punched his face in for being so annoying all the time.

"Honestly? I couldn't care less," Sebastian drawled. Hunter wanted to speak up and tell him that he didn't like boys in that way, but he knew that Sebastian would see straight through his lie. He felt trapped and teased for air and the fact that Sebastian still didn't tell him what he wanted with him made him feel like a lab speciment. Sebastian was taunting him, prodding him with a stick to see how he would react, or so it felt. The uneasiness he felt clung to him like an extra layer of clothes, weighing him down. It was like a sticky sheen of sweat that he couldn't wash away, suffocating him until he couldn't take it anymore. What was Sebastian waiting for? For him to crack? His cheeks were flushed and he could feel the prickly redness creep down his neck and chest as well. He could hear his own heart beating, beating and beating but he couldn't make it stop. His own body was betraying him in the worst way possible and there was nothing he could do about it. There was only one way he could describe this feeling: fear. Red, hot, blinding fear.

But Sebastian held his eerily calm posture and pushed through with his words, adamant on making Hunter hear them, whether he liked it or not. Hunter wasn't sure whether he was imagining it because of his state of mind, or whether Sebastian really had a sardonic smile on his face. As much as he hated it, even that looked horrifyingly handsome on his features.

"What I do care about, however, is that you are actually not a bad fuck," Sebastian said smugly. "When you live in a boarding school, your choices are quite limited and believe it or not, the gay bars in the neighbourhood aren't exactly overflowing with hot, young, attractive men. And those who are I've already tried out," he smirked proudly. Not conquered or made love to or even fucked, Hunter noticed. No, instead Sebastian talked about the boys as though they were free samples of juice. The taste of twink. Limited edition, get your free sample now. It should have felt degrading to be objectified like that, but at that moment Hunter couldn't think about anything else than what Sebastian as trying to say with his cryptic words. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't mind if it happened again'" Sebastian finally stated. Again, Hunter wasn't sure if he had just imagined it, but he thought he saw a flicker of uncertainty on Sebastian's face. But in the state he was in, he brushed it away as a figment of his imagination.

"I already told you, I'm not inter-" Hunter was stopped by a pair of warm lips against his own. Warm, wet lips that tasted faintly of coffee and mint gum. It was the same taste that he had craved for two weeks now. The same tingling that he had awakened to every single day. Unable to help himself, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sebastian's. He could feel Sebastian's fingers in the back of his neck, urging him closer. It was as though Hunter had stepped into a new world. He could still hear his heartbeat as clear as day and feel the fear of being caught, but it almost didn't matter when he could feel, taste and smell Sebastian so close to him. He was starved for his attention and he was finally getting it back. Sebastian's fingers were teasing the loose strands of hair on the nape of his neck and he could almost feel his willpower bend like wet clay in Sebastian's talented hand.

When Sebastian pulled away, it was with a smirk that contrasted Hunter's dazed look. "Do you want to try that again?" He teased, but there was friendliness behind those words that Hunter had never heard from Sebastian before. Was that what it would be like to be Sebastian's friend and not his enemy? Hunter found himself wanting to be in that selected group of people in the inner core of Sebastian, those who got the opportunity to see past the nonchalant smirk and the horrible attitude.

His heart was beating irregularly in his chest and his eyes darted between Sebastian's brilliant green orbs. "You are never going to take a risk like that again," he growled breathlessly, licking his lips to savour the lingering taste of Sebastian on them. "You are never going to put me in a position where people can see us or hear us. Do I make myself clear?" He asked, his voice authoritative. He was channelling the natural born leader voice that he used during practice that he learned at military school. He didn't feel as certain as he felt, but as long as he got the message along to Sebastian, he didn't care either. It was all about the impression he gave. He just needed to look strong. In military school he learned that a group was only as strong as its weakest link, but Hunter had always thought that it counted for people too. A person was only as strong as he or she allowed themselves to be. If you let your weakness show, you couldn't be as strong as you could. In Hunter's mind, being strong was the same as hiding your flaws. And his greatest flaw right now was his uncertainty and the paralysing fear he felt when he thought about getting caught.

"I never intended to out you, Clarington. That's not my style," Sebastian scoffed. For a moment he looked mildly uncomfortable, as though something Hunter said had actually managed to weasel its way underneath his thick skin. But a second later, the look was gone and replaced with his usual confident smile. "But you were being a brat and didn't want to listen to me. So I had to resort to desperate measures," he shrugged. Hunter had seen that look in Sebastian's eyes too many times to ignore their meaning. It was his trademark 'I don't care what you think about me'-look and it drove him insane every single time. Half of the time he wanted to whip him into shape and show him what respect and responsibility meant. What it meant to be accountable for your actions and for him to stop being the spoiled brat he was. But the other half of the time, his treacherous heart wanted to caress his cheek and kiss his forehead for being so devilishly annoying but yet cute.

"That still doesn't give you the right to do what you did," Hunter grumbled, rolling his eyes. Sebastian was still standing close to him, their chests almost touching. The blush on his cheeks was disappearing slowly, but he could still feel the phantom burn there. "Anyone could have heard you. Anyone of the Warblers could have come back because they forgot something. They still can," he realised the last part and straightened himself up. Rearranging the bag on his shoulder, he stepped away from Sebastian until there was a comfortable and safe distance between them.

Sebastian always did the things that Hunter least expected him too, like to smile boyishly in a situation like this. "Meaning that you are willing to do this just as long as it isn't in a semi-public place?" he smirked.

Hunter's jaw dropped for a second. "I- I guess not," he murmured, the words spilling out of his lips before he could even think them through. But the fact was that he was tired of pining after Sebastian. The last two weeks had been torturous and the feeling that he thought would go away hadn't disappeared at all. If anything, it had just grown now that he knew how good it could be. His skin prickled at the thought and he had to fight off a grin. He was really losing his mind, wasn't he? In between fear of being caught and being nervous to be confronted by Sebastian, he almost forgot the fluttering feeling in his heart when he thought about Sebastian in the privacy of his room.

If Sebastian was as shocked as Hunter was, he certainly didn't show it. "That was what I thought. There is no point in denying yourself what you want, Hunter," he murmured, slinking closer to him. But for every step Sebastian took, Hunter stepped back like they were participating in a dangerous dance. A passionate tango, maybe. Just the thought of it made Hunter want to snort.

Was he seriously even thinking about this? Throw caution to the wind and just… live? Just breathe and do whatever he wanted to without thinking about the consequences? Even the thought of it made his head spin. He wasn't used to being so careless, but Sebastian coaxed out the part of him that wanted to flash his middle finger to the world and just do what he wanted. But was that really a life that Hunter could live with?

"No one can know," Hunter murmured with a slight nod. If he was careful enough, maybe he could get a little bit of both. He could keep the life he knew and still give in to what he wanted. What he now knew that Sebastian also wanted it. The adrenaline rush caught up with him, splaying out on his cheeks as a subtle blush. Sebastian knew that he liked boys. And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing? It was hard to wrap his head around it, but his pounding heart and the pulse that raced through his body made it hard for him to think straight. "If we do this.. thing.. no one can know about it. You can't say a word to anyone."

"Stop being so jumpy, Clarington," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to tell anyone. But for future reference, no one here really cares whether you are gay or not. Anti-harassment policy and everything, you know?"

Empty words and empty promises, Hunter thought to himself. Sure, the school may offer a no-bullying policy, but he knew that there were always things that happened under the surface. No rule could change the prejudice people felt and even though people weren't allowed to punch him in the hallway didn't mean that they couldn't bad-mouth him behind closed doors. At military school the students weren't allowed to settle their own scores with their fists either, but that didn't mean that the faculty cared about what they did in the woods after school hours. They turned a blind eye to bruises and split lips. Who was to say that Dalton wouldn't do the same thing? There was a world outside school too, all though it was all too easy for forget when you attended boarding school. At some point Hunter was going to leave Dalton and face the real world. All of them had to. But the look on Sebastian's face told him that the other boy just didn't care. How many times had Sebastian told him to live in the present and worry about the future when the time came? It was always followed by a taunt on how uptight he was, of course. He knew that Sebastian wouldn't understand, so he just gave him a short nod. "Of course. But that doesn't mean that I have the burning desire to tell everyone about my sex life. Unlike you, I must add," he quipped, licking his lips.

Sebastian shot him a glare. "You are an idiot, Clarington. But luckily for you, you are a sexy idiot," he winked. Their eyes met for a few seconds, reflecting the teasing words that were on the tip of both boys' tongue. "You may have to work on the idiot part more, Smythe. Your ego is starting to overshadow your sexiness and we wouldn't want that, would we?" Hunter rolled his eyes.

"And yet here you are, wanting to shag my brains out," Sebastian grinned. "My ego can't be that bad, in that case."

Hunter's lips quirked up in an amused smile. He was so screwed.

It was only later on that night when Sebastian snuck into his dorm room that Hunter realised what was going on. He was addicted. Like a smoker who took that last cigarette before they quit, he tried to quit Sebastian by having him once during the party. But he couldn't resist the magnetic pull the taller Warbler had on him. No, he craved Sebastian like a drug. Like a cigarette. And just like a drug, Sebastian messed with his mind and made it hard for him to make rational choices. He wasn't being his same cautious self. But he couldn't bring himself to care when Sebastian's talented hands was pulling his t-shirt off. He didn't dare think when he felt his wet lips pressing open-mouthed kisses to the sensitive spot on his neck. Hesitation wasn't even a thought on his mind when his naked body was pinned against the door and all he could see was Sebastian's emerald green eyes staring at him with lust-blown pupils. His mind was foggy with the impact of those eyes and Sebastian's warm body against his own and he couldn't bring himself to want to stop. How could he when he had everything he wanted?

Instead he pressed the palm of his hand against his lips to muffle his moans as Sebastian pounded him against the door. His legs were suspended in the air, but Sebastian was holding his weight up in his strong arms and Hunter just knew that he wouldn't fall to the ground. Or maybe it was too late for that. He was already falling. He was drowning in everything that was Sebastian Smythe. The cocky attitude, the infuriating smirks and that graceful way Sebastian carried himself. It all hit home just like Sebastian's thrusts, leaving him in a moaning, messy state of mind. His hands were clinging on to Sebastian desperately, his head rolled to the side to give the other boy space to devour his neck. In between pleas and broken whimpers of more and oh god Hunter realised that he was gone. The beautiful boy in front of him that had his face scrunched up in pleasure as he grunted Hunter's name meant more to him that he cared to admit. It was more than a petty crush. Hunter wouldn't risk all this for a petty crush. He was addicted to Sebastian. He was in love. And just as he came to that realisation, his mind went blank with pleasure and he came with a loud, careless moan tumbling from his lips.