Hi all you readers out there! YES! I mean YOU! I am ThousandCross777! Bow before me! Nah...I'm just kidding...

Before you start I just want to say, I do not own KHR (unfortunately...bet I would've made millions...) nor the characters...Just a few them, and I know all you devoted fans of our favorite Mafia anime would recognize them.

A word of warning, it's kinda random. Well, I'm pretty random so maybe thats why. Rest assured, I do plan on finishing it, so look forward to the ending. Although I have no idea HOW to end it...

Anyway, I'm just babbling...or typi-...Anyway...ON WITH THE STORY!


CHAPTER 1: Meet the Primo's Familia

Giotto, aforementioned Legendary Boss, was sulking. Yes, people, I'm sorry I crushed your hopes and dreams but yes, he was indeed sulking. Of all the things the man who controlled the strongest Mafia in the Underworld, you'd think he'd have better things to do than...well...sulk. Once you knew the reason as to why, even you readers would understand.

Paperwork.

The eternal damnation God had undoubtedly had a hand in co-creating when he decided to create matter.

Worst part? It never seemed to end. Every time, Giotto proudly grinned at finishing one of, oh I don't know, 50 stacks, another NEW one seemed to replace it. Which was followed by open mouthed stupification. (I'm pretty sure that is not a word.)

'This is crazy. Why the hell am I doing paperwork?' cried Giotto as he glanced around at every stack of paper in his vast office

He sighed as he looked down. He signed his name and tossed it in the 'Finished' pile. Great. One down. Only 2000 more to go.

Giotto groaned. Then his head snapped up and he grinned. "I'm sure I deserve a break. G won't mind. I'll just..." Giotto eagerly got up as he headed toward the door. Then he froze. Depression surrounded him as he realized something. "Shit. I forgot G installed Guards at the door. GAAAAHH! I'm such an idiot." he cried pulling out his hair. He frantically looked around. Then he saw it. The Window to his Freedom. Literally. He leaped over to the window, over his tall stack of papers on his desk toward the window sill. He chuckled, remembering childhood memories. "Sorry G. I'll be back in a few...well I can't promise but I'll be back." He grinned as he jumped down. Until he realized, mid-way in the air, this was the Third Floor of his Private Mansion.

"GYAAAAAAAA!" screamed the charismatic and oh-so-heroic Leader as he fell in terror

"OOF!" he proclaimed out loud as he realized another, something. He had landed on the Rose bushes. And in case you guys don't know...roses have thorns. Very SHARP and BIG thorns. Especially the WELL CARED for Vongola Gardens.

"OW! OW! OW!" he screamed again oh-so-heroically as he plucked each and every single thorn that stuck to his skin. "That probably wasn't one of my smartest ideas..."

Then he looked ahead at the forest surrounding the mansion and grinned. "Oh well. At least I'm out! Woohoo!" He exclaimed putting his arms and ran like a monkey does from a Giant Talking banana. "I'm out! So long, Paper work! FREEDOM!" proclaimed Giotto as he ran into the forest like the idiot he was.


G sighed, mentally preparing himself for the whining, curses and whatever crap that his faithful Boss was going to throw at him for the new stack of paperwork he was bringing in. G nodded to the Guards by the door. Like hell he was going to let Giotto escape again.

The Guard opened the door.

"Giotto, I have more paper..." G paused. There was something wrong with the picture in front of him. Tall stacks of paper work? Check.

Walls? (Long story!) Check.

A certain blond haired, stupid golden eyed, black and pin striped Mafia Don? ...

G burst in Storm Flames. The Guards sweat dropped at the intense Flames that wrapped their Second in Command Superior.

G brought out his Gun and shot the pillow, a bad replication 'Giotto-Dummy' – a scarecrow-like, blond wig wearing, black suited, pinstriped dummy who instead of a face, had the words, 'Sorry G! I'm on a break!' on it along with a smiley face and a peace sign.

The said Dummy was Giotto's many and seriously people, let me repeat that for emphasis, MANY solutions to ridding himself the torture that was paperwork. And it was G, his oh-so faithful and Loyal and Self-proclaimed Right Hand man that managed to keep his sanity and drag his idiot Boss BACK to the torture. And frankly speaking, Giotto was getting better at running away and...coming up with more effective 'distractions'.

The Guards gulped as they saw a mini-explosion burst in flames from behind the Storm Guardian and the room illuminated in destructive light.

"I'll kill...I'll definitely kill him...GIOOOOOOOOOTOOOOOOO! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I'LL DEFINITELY KILLLL YOUUUUUUUUUUU" he screamed as G erupted again.

"Uwahhhh...the Boss...is he going to be alright?" asked Guard Number 1, with sunglasses on as he nonchalantly watched the familiar scene of G ranting off his anger

Somewhere in the forest, Giotto sneezed.

"No...I don't think that's the problem. Any longer...and I think our Commander is going to transform..." Stated Guard Number 2, holding a bag of popcorn to the flames as it began popping. (I sweat drop!)

G glanced around frantically, as to how his stupid-Boss had escaped. Realizing the answer, G face palmed himself mentally.

Of course he'd use the window.

Of course he'd forget to seal it.

Of course he'd only realize he forgotten to seal it until that stupid Boss had used the window.

Veins popped up as he tried to regain whatever sanity he had and slowly stomped over to the window. "GIOTTO! WAIT FOR ME, YOU BASTARD!" G grinned like a mad convict, as he cracked his knuckles. He climbed onto the window sill.

The Guard realizing what his Commander was planning on doing spoke, "C-Commander, wh-what are you doing?" he asked as his eye twitched

G whirled around. "I'M GOING AFTER THAT IDIOT? OBVIOUSLY!"

"B-but s-sir..." Began Guard number 2

G looked back, mid-air at why they stopped him. Then he realized. He realized in his utter stupidity that this was the Third Story Window of Giotto's Private Mansion.

Shit.

"GYAAAAAAAAA!" he screamed valiantly as he dropped like a melon from a tree.

"...this is the third floor..." finished Guard Number 2

Down below, G had the luck to land on the exact same Rose bush, Giotto had beautifully landed in. Except there was one problem. Thanks to Giotto's impact, the Rose bush was completely squashed. Which meant, there was NO Rose Bush! Which also meant, G had landed on the cold, hard, not to mention recently-fertilized-with-fresh-cow-manure, soil.

G twitched. He snapped his head up as he saw a small ripped piece of fabric from Giotto's cape. G re-loaded his guns. He cocked it and stood up with a new resolution. "You better be prepared Giotto...your life might end by my very own hands..." he smirked again, like a mad convict.

Somewhere in the forest, Giotto sneezed. Again.


Asari Ugetsu, the only Japanese and faithful Rain Guardian breathed in the sweet fragrance of the foreign flowers of Italy, gathered within the Mansion. But even the always-smiling 'Flute-Obsessed-Idiot' (as G calls him) couldn't help but cringe at the sour and intoxicatingly disgusting scent he had caught in his nasal cavities.

"What the..." proclaimed Asari as he pinched his nose. He looked up only to find a fuming G, glaring at the forest, guns in hand and covered with what was undeniably, cow manure.

Asari raced toward the fuming Storm Guardian. "G? Let me guess, Giotto?" asked Ugetsu chuckling at his Boss' childish antics

He heard a gun cock in response. Then came, "That lazy-ass..."

Ugetsu laughed. "Now, now, calm down, G. I'm sure he was just tired…."

G snapped. "NO! NO HE WASN'T! HE JUST HAD A BREAK 2 HOURS AGO! HE WORKED FOR 15 MINUTES!"

"...at least he's working..." Well, at least the ever-optimistic Flute player tried

"YOU FLUTE-FREAK! REALIZE THE STUPIDITY IN YOUR COMMENT ALREADY!" Yeah, G was fuming. Not that he wasn't before.

"How about we look for him together?" tried Ugetsu again, still smiling unfazed by the comments. "I'll help."

G calmed down. "Tch. Fine."

Ugetsu began walking towards the forest, "Let us go then. Before he-"

Ugetsu had coincidentally stepped on an elevated string. The string triggering a series of complicated yet stupidly childish gears and mechanisms I'm too lazy and frankly physics-deprived to write about. The result? A huge bucket of water dousing the Rain Guardian completely.

G, who was behind Ugetsu, froze in shock. "O-Oi...Flute-freak...?" Expecting a tantrum, G stood dumbfounded (You're gonna see a lot of that in my fanfic!) as Ugetsu burst out laughing.

"Ah! I wanted a shower." proclaimed the Guardian as he squeezed the water out of his tall, traditional hat.

G's shoulder's slumped. 'I should have known.'

"You know..." Began Ugetsu, earning G's attention, "You'd think if he had all this time to set up these traps, he'd get down to finishing his paperwork..." chuckled Ugetsu

Ugetsu whirled around, a smile on his face; then again he cringed at the unreadable expression on his colleague's handsome face. G's face was once again distorted. "You're right...you'd think..." The bucket had come lose from its hinges and had landed with a magnificent thump on G's head.

G popped a vein, multiple ones following shortly after. Glaring hard at the bucket at his feet, he raised his leg and unleashed a powerful kick sending the bucket flying; it twinkled as it vanished in the distance. Why was he able to kick it with such power? Simple. He imagined Giotto's face on it.

Then, Storm flames erupted as G stormed (LOL) his way into the forest, eradicating the trees, animals and Guards that was in the forest.

Ugetsu blinked. "A-Ah! W-Wait for me..." cried Ugetsu, as he too followed at a more human pace


Lampo was taking a nap on his favorite tree. He had just recently consumed Giotto's Secret Stash of Chocolate located under his bed which Giotto innocently believed only he knew, when in fact everyone (except G) knew.

Lampo mumbled in his sleep, as he readjusted his position on the tree branch. "Uhhh...Lampo-sama...wants more...choco-GYAK!"

Remember Giotto's bucket? Yeah well, it had shot right into Lampo's sleeping face. Lampo was so shocked, he epically fell out of the 7 feet tall tree, he had mysteriously gotten into, and crash landed gloriously on the ground.

He shot up as he glared at the bucket, a huge lump forming on his head as his face was red and caved in no thanks to the 'Bucket'.

This was Primo's Lightning Guardian. The son of a Noble, a coward and a spoiled teen of 16.

The bucket looked at him, almost mocking him. Lampo sniffled, tears forming in his eyes, "M-Must not ...c-cry...G-gotta...h-hold it...in..." Yeah, never happened. Lampo burst in a fit of wailing (Yes, people he is 16!) and screaming, as electricity began crackling around him. Then, he decided he would have revenge in his crying fit, and released his lighting Attack...on a bucket! The attack send the bucket flying, now absorbing the electricity (because you know Giotto actually had the TIME to go buy a bucket made of electricity conducting metal...) which once again flew into the Sky.


Anyway. Knuckles was praying. Obviously that is what a priest does. He prayed for the Vongola's good future, he prayed for guiding the tortured souls to goodness and he prayed for Giotto's life which was indubitably going to end by G's hand. How he knew that? It's a reoccurring theme. Take it from me, the author.

"Oh God, please bless us with your holiness and guide G away from the path of sin. May he not kill Giotto now and forever. Amen." Knuckles did the sign of the cross just as the door to his 'sanctuary of holiness' burst open.

His fellow Vongola Squad members entered. "Captain? Would you like to spar?"

Knuckles shot up. "Hell yeah!" Oh well, so much for holiness. Then Knuckles coughed, regaining his composure. "N-no, thank you my good men. I'm afraid I have given up such violent ways."

Dramatic lights came up, spotlights lighting up Knuckles at centre stage who was in a dramatic pose of piousness as Angels (I think it was angels) sang 'Ave Maria' somewhere in the background.

"We are all God's EXTREME children living under him. We mustn't EXTREMELY fight. We should EXTREMELY learn to EXTREMELY get along. As an EXTREME Follower of the Almighty we…." Said Knuckles dramatically, sounding very rehearsed

The men were looking with a, "Where the fuck did the lights come from?"

Others opted for more of a, "Angels? What the shit is going on?"

The remaining chose, "Is this the reality you guys wanted?" Of course they meant the readers.

The former professional Boxer and current Pastor whirled to meet the men as he zipped by and grabbed hold of one of the men's hand, looking at them expectantly.

"Would you like to confess your sins, young man?"

The man cringed as he slowly tried and failed, to back away, "N-no. I-I think I'm good." He looked at the others (who had somehow managed to gat FAR, FAR away), eyes pleading, "HELP ME!"

The others flashed him a thumbs up sign, and a "Good Luck. May god be with you." And then, like the true friends they were, ran away.

The man's jaw dropped. 'YOU TRAITORS!' he cursed at them mentally as the Boxer-turned-priest began preaching

After a few hours, Knuckle had successfully managed to convert the 'captured man' to Christianity. He wiped off the sweat that formed on his temple, when he heard it. It was the sound of water dripping. Knuckle looked up to find one of the pipes had a leak in it.

"Oh! Looks like I better get a bucket-" Sensing a dangerous presence behind him, he whirled around.

"EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEME!" he yelled triumphantly as he punched the bucket that came at him. Again, screw holiness. Upon contact, he didn't realize the bucket had absorbed electricity.

"GYAAAAAAZZZZZIZIZIZIZI..." Knuckles had just been electrocuted. Unfortunately, the charred priest didn't realize someone had left dynamites in his room and with a "Oh my God!" the room exploded, sending the bucket blasting away into the SKY once again.

Knuckles fell in slow motion, charred, black and his new afro hairstyle that sparked. "T-the bucket of holiness...how Extreme..." he mumbled as he fell to unconsciousness...


Alaude was quietly enjoying the Piano and Violin performance in the courtyard, listening to the …Italian National Anthem. So he loved anthems and cake. Even though he was French. So imagine his feelings when a bucket fell out of the Sky and landed on his plate of Marzipan Layered Cheesecake.

Someone's gotta pay. And if the Head of the Italian Investigation Bureau was having a bad day, then everyone had a bad day.

The pianist and violinist gulped in sync as they realized the murderous aura the Skylark emitted.

Alaude, for some inexplicable reason, glared down hard at the bucket at his feet. "You..." Alaude brought out his trademark handcuffs. "For disturbing local peace and the destruction of Personal Property...You are under arrest!" he stated.

The musicians sweat dropped. First, they were angry that such famous musicians like themselves had been requested to play a simple melody like the Italian National Anthem and ONLY the anthem for 3 hours straight. But No! Then they realized the ones that requested them for a Private Performance was the Vongola, but it was even worse when they found out it was Alaude, the Cloud Guardian and the single most frightening Fighting-Maniac who never hesitated to destroy everything in his way. Pissing him off was not an option.

And here he stood. Pissed. At a bucket. Which he just arrested. Seriously, his handcuffs were already hooked onto the buckets handle for crying out loud.

Hence, here was Alaude, happily (in his own right) walking with his 'Captive' to his Personal Interrogation Room a.k.a, *cough* "Torture Chamber *cough* until the bucket got stuck in between a bunch of boxes. (Look! I don't know how he did it but he did it!)

He glared back and impatiently pulled harder at the bucket. What he didn't realize is when the bucket came free; the tall piles of boxes fell with it. Alaude stood frozen as the boxes came down on him. The boxes crashed into him with a strong smelling scent as the Vongola Mansion erupted into a frenzy of cherry blossom scents. All the while, Lampo who was walking around with super glue in his hands slipped on the liquid perfume and squeezed some glue accidentally into Alaude's bucket. In all the chaos, Alaude had forgotten to lock the handcuffs and the bucket flew away once again into the SKY.


Daemon smiled, watching his lover and future fiancée and even more future wife. (That made no sense. Oh well! You guys probably got it!) Elena was sniffing the flowers, on their little date around the Vongola Gardens.

"You know, Daemon... Valentines is just around the corner..." She let out secretly glancing at him with a look that basically said, "You better have remembered and got me a present!"

Daemon flinched in response. Then he reluctantly remembered his mistake. He had ordered a Special Edition Carnelian Scented Perfume. Actually he had ordered 5 of them because they came in such small yet extremely expensive dials so Elena could use it longer. He had even PERSONALLY went out to France and sniffed around the Perfume shop until he found the right one.

That is until this morning when he realized the Mail Service got his order wrong. So instead of 5 Dials of Carnelian Scented Perfume, he got 500 Bottles of Cherry Blossom Scented Perfume in boxes! I mean, how the hell you can mix up Carnelian with Cherry Blossom and 5 with 500!

'Shitty Mail Service. I'll traumatize them.' He cursed inwardly as he pulled up a convincing smile

"Of course I know Elena. I look forward to it." Replied Daemon, sweating uncontrollably and more than a little scared at how Elena might react

Suddenly, a shadow loomed behind Elena and Daemon, quick to act pulled her away as a crashing force landed on his head.

It was dark. Completely pitch dark. Daemon realized there was a freaking bucket ON his head! What the hell is a bucket doing on top of the feared Mist Guardian's Head?

Elena had looked up to find her lover ... with a bucket as his head!

Daemon heard it. It was faint but he heard it. "Elena…you're laughing aren't you?"

"N-No...I'm no-PFFT! I's seriously-PFFT...not!" Elena bit her lip. Did it work? Obviously, no! She burst out laughing uncontrollably.

Daemon sighed and popped a few veins at the idiot who dare put him in such a humiliating position, in front of his lover. That poor man.

"Elena...get this bucket off me..." he tried, voice showing signs of trying to hide his seething anger

Elena clutching her mouth to stop herself from laughing nodded, unable to speak afraid she might burst into another fit of laughs.

She tried and it didn't work.

She tried again. Nothing.

It was then they both reluctantly and shockingly realized, the bucket was stuck to Daemon's head! Holy Shit! You think that was bad? Wait for it!

Elena muttered up her strength, (a rather weak one if you ask me) and huffed and puffed (and totally did NOT blow the house down...LOL!) and pulled the bucket of his head.

During the act, they heard something they shouldn't have heard. It was a rip. Elena gulped looking down at Daemon's head. His literal head! His literal BALD head!

"Elena..." began Daemon, hoping what he had just heard was his imagination

Elena chuckled nervously. "So….uhm..about that Valentine's gift..."

Ladies and or gentlemen...allow me to introduce to you, the Vongola Primo's Loyal Guardians...


So...what did you guys think? It's my first Fanfic! I have others coming out too! But you'll have to wait.

Tsuna: I thought I was the main character...

Me: KYA! What're you guys doing here? You guys aren't even real! Beside's when I meant 'you guys' I meant the readers... (~_~)

Reborn brings out gun: I don't see a handsome Fedora-wearing, strong Hitman around...

I gulp. Me: S-So anyway...I hope you guys review. I'll definitely read it! ...If I make it out of here alive...