The cool air hit me like a slap against the face as I started to walk. I missed Eli if it wasn't for my daughter and my son I would have killed myself by now. Jace and Alex were they only thing of Eli that I had left. I loved them more than the world. I couldn't do that to them.

I sat on the steps of the abandoned church. Waiting. I knew he would come, something inside me told me so.

"Clare."

I looked up to see Eli standing there in the same clothes he was wearing the night he died. "Eli …" I said.

"Are the kids okay?" he asked sitting next to me.

I nodded and leaned my head back against his shoulder. "They miss you ….a lot." I said before continuing on. "It's been really difficult on Alex ….she just …she threatened to kill herself …and she's only seven." I sobbed.

Eli's eyes were flowing over with tears. "God I love her so much …if only …I'm such a horrible father." he cried throwing his head in his hands.

I looked up and glared at him." Elijah Goldsworthy you didn't wish to die you didn't kill yourself you got in a car accident you didn't know it was going to happen."

He nodded and wiped his eyes. "I wish they could see me like you do."

I sighed." I don't know how I can see you ….or know where you are for that matter."

He smirked." you always knew me best Clare."

I laughed. It wasn't fake it was real I was happy. "I guess so."

He smiled and grabbed me in a hug. "I've missed you Clare."

I smiled a sad smile. "I've missed you too Eli."

We didn't get to talk about us. "I've love you more than anything Clare." he said.

" Eli I know I should move on but I'm not going to your my Eli you're the one …I know I'm not going to be able to see you forever Eli ….but I know you'll always love me and I will always love you ." I said and every ounce of it was true.

He sighed. "I know …but just know –when you can't see me anymore that I will always love you my daughter and my son ….and that you can move on."

I nodded. "I know Eli …."

He pulled me close . " can I have a kiss clare ?"

I smiled . " yes …yes you can ."

He smiled back and leaned in . are lips touched and it was the best feeling in the world . it felt ghostlike and way to gwntle . but it still had eli all over it . I loved every minute of it .