2: A Caliborn Story aka Caliborn's Stories 7: Minebent

"The roleplaying server Minebent, as summarized by the Homestuck character Caliborn. Rated T for language and violence."

Author's idiotisms: Yes, that means that this is going on both the listing of Caliborn's Stories and Chronicles of Minebent. Thank you. (Also, context: I was alting Caliborn. Before that I was Dave, and after that and currently I'm Aranea.)


Time: April 20 to 21, 2014

Cast:
Caliborn - ASBusinessMagnet, donuts741 (formerly)
Vriska Serket - Chalifour
The Dolorosa - SarcasticChan
Karkat Vantas - Geckon
Jaspersprite - diggy1011
Dave Strider - ASBusinessMagnet (formerly)
Rose Lalonde - Heroguy1278 (formerly)


IT SEEMS THAT CON AIR AND NIC CAGE WILL HAVE TO WAIT A BIT LONGER. SEEING AS I HAVE ENCOUNTERED THIS. AND I DON'T EVEN THINK THERE'S ANYTHING TO UNDERSTAND. UNLIKE THE STANLEY PARABLE. (AND ALSO THERE IS THE FACT. THAT I FAILED TO WATCH CON AIR IN ITS ENTIRETY. BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.)

CALIBORN PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS.

MINEBENT.

IT APPEARS THAT MINEBENT IS. A DREAM BUBBLE. HOSTING VARIOUS MORONS. THAT WE ALREADY KNOW FROM HOMOSUCK. BUT IN AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SETTING.

THESE MORONS. SEEM TO GATHER INTO THREE CITIES. THE FIRST ONE I WILL TALK ABOUT. IS NST. NOW, SOME SAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE "ENN US TEE". BUT I THINK THAT IT IS MUCH BETTER. WHEN YOU THINK OF A HUMAN TRYING TO SHIT. NNNNNNNNNNNN. AND THEN SUDDENTLY GIVING UP, KNOWING HE IS NOT GOING TO SHIT ANYTHING. ST. NNNNNNNNNST. NST.

THIS NST THING. SEEMS TO BE HOST TO TWO PEOPLE. DAVE STRIDER. AND ROSE LALONDE. WHO HAVE BUILT AN ENTIRE CITY. AND THEN LEFT IT GATHER DUST IN THE DESERT. BECAUSE IT SEEMS. THAT NST SUCKS THE MOST OF THEM ALL. AND NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE THERE.

NEXT UP. IS LODAM*. (DON'T ASK ME WHAT THE ASTERISK IS.) IT APPEARS. THAT LODAM* USED TO BE RUN BY ME. (OH, THE AWESOME ME.) AND I HAD AN OFFICE. BUT THEN WHEN I CAME TO THE OFFICE. SOME IDIOTS SWIPED IT RIGHT OFF MY FEET. AND REMOVED THE SIGN. SAYING IT ISN'T RUN BY ME.

AND FINALLY. THERE IS KANTOWN. NOT CAN TOWN WITH A C AND A SPACE. KANTOWN. KANAYATOWN. ONCE RUN BY SOMEONE NAMED KANAYA. BUT THEN OWNED BY SOMEONE NAMED VRISKA SERKET. AND NOT CHANGED. BECAUSE VRISKA SERKETTOWN SOUNDS AWKWARD. AND IT TURNS OUT. THAT THIS VRISKA SERKET BITCH. WANTS TO KILL ME AT FIRST SIGHT.

SPEAKING OF KILLING. THERE IS THIS STUPID THING. THAT YOU DIE. AND THEN RESPAWN. DUE TO NO FUCKING REASON. THOUGH, I SUPPOSE THAT IT'S GOOD. BECAUSE IF I REALLY DIED. I WOULDN'T EXACTLY BE RECOUNTING STORIES FURTHER.

AND A RECOUNT ON A STORY. IS EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. JUST WATCH.

WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE BUBBLE. PEOPLE KEPT INSISTING. ON NOT EXPLAINING ME. WHATEVER THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. AND ONE NAMED KARKAT VANTAS. WHEN I ASKED HIM TO INTRODUCE ME TO THE BUBBLE. BEGAN CALLING ME A DOUCHESNOT. OR MAYBE EVEN. CALLING ALL DOUCHESNOTS "CALIBORN".

SO I FUCKING RAN LIKE A DOUCHESNOT. OR LIKE A "CALIBORN". ALONG THE THREE CITIES. AND NO ONE EVER TOLD ME FUCKING ANYTHING. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO WITH A DOUCHESNOT.

THERE WAS THIS ONE BITCH THOUGH. NAMED DOLOROSA. WHO I COULD AT LEAST SYMPATHIZE WITH. GIVEN THAT SHE WAS ALSO NEW LIKE ME. BUT THAT ALSO MEANS. THAT SHE DIDN'T GET TO EXPLAIN ME ANYTHING.

THEREFORE I RAN LIKE AN IDIOT SOME MORE. THESE ARE ALL THE ENCOUNTERS.

THE DOLOROSA I ALREADY TALKED ABOUT.

KARKAT I ALREADY TALKED ABOUT.

VRISKA I ALREADY TALKED ABOUT.

WHICH MEANS THAT THE ONLY ONE LEFT. IS JASPERSPRITE. WITH WHOM I RELAYED. THE REAL PRONUNCIATION OF NST. THAT I ALREADY DESCRIBED.

SO THEREFORE. I DECIDED TO FUCK IT. SEEING AS I JUST DESCRIBED. THAT ALL THREE CITIES ARE SHIT. AND THEREFORE MY STORY HIT.

THE END.

NOW OF COURSE THE BUBBLE'S LIFE WILL GO ON. BUT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. I'M NOT RETURNING THERE. SO IT'S THE END.

"LEAVE ME SUGGESTIONS. ON DON'T LEAVE ME ANY STUPID SUGGESTIONS. CON AIR IS NEXT. DEFINITELY. I PROMISE. END OF.

FAREWELL. BITCHES AND ASSHOLES.

tumut"


Author's idiotisms: Hopefully now that I'm Aranea, I will get to learn a whole new myriad of stories. Though, most old timers have left, so it'll still be difficult, but we can only hope. Goodbye.