Alchy the Break Dancing Savior
Tra La Laaa, thank the Lord for Ooooopenersss!
Okie-dokie, more of the Almighty
Alchy! Her story continues, she bothers Le Elrics, death draws
closer and closer for her, the usual.
SoOoOo, I'm just
here to introduce the star of the show and hope that more people will
soon understand her true prowess. And the story
continues.
Disclaimer: I own everything in Le World. Except for Fullmetal Alchemist. That, I missed. Ah Welllllll.
Ed flopped down on the box o'
sand, which finally collapsed from all of his flopping and plopping.
He mumbled angrily as he got up and dusted his pants off, then bent
over to find his map under all the sand. After much grumbling,
weird looks from Alchy, and Al trying to introduce them but Alchy
claiming she already knew, Ed and Al stood across from Alchy, who
stood with her hands on her hips.
"So," She said
bluntly, staring at Ed and Al with wide eyes, "Why are you two
looking for me?"
Ed and Al glanced at each other, and Al
spoke up.
"Well, we're looking for this certain stone
and we heard that you know something about it, and we were just
wondering if you would be able to tell us-" Al started, but
he was quickly cut off.
"Okay, look," Ed said,
"We need the Philosopher's Stone. You know something about
it that we might need. You're going to tell us." But
Alchy didn't seem to be listening.
Her eyes widened at
'Philosopher's Stone', and her face looked positively giddy.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, the Phi-lawz-o-pher's
Stooooooooone!" She sung, clasping her hands behind her back
and swaying back and forth, "Yesh, yesh, I know somethin'
that you probably don't, but I shouldn't tellll…"
Ed's eyes widened, and he looked ready to strangle her.
Probably was going to. But his face changed, like he was
remembering that she knew something they needed to know, so he took a
deep breath and clenched his fists.
"Yeah," Ed
said, looking strained, "And you're going to tell us.
Riiight?" He tried to look pleasant, but ended up looking
like someone who had just run away from jail and was trying to find a
victim.
But Alchy just ignored him, probably not even
noticing, and smiled smugly.
"Eh, I'd rather not,"
She shrugged it off, "Sounds like work. And I'd rather not
work. You know, I actually came her because I didn't want to
work. You know, running around town, people ask you favors, you
say no, next morning you wake up and they're standing over your bed
with a knife in their hands. That kinda stuff." She
nodded as if this was total logic.
Okay, now Ed looked like
he escaped from jail, was running from the cops, and was trying to
find the person who had sold them to the cops. And they had a
concealed weapon. A huge one. So it's probably not too
concealed.
"Okay then," He seethed, anger playing
across his face, "What if we forced you!" He growled,
bunching his sleeves up and about to lunge at Alchy.
Fortunately, Al grabbed Ed's arms and restrained him from tearing
out all of 'Alchy's' annoyingly white hair.
Alchy
seemed unfazed, even happy, and started digging through a barely
recognizable tan messenger's bag. It was so dirty it could
have been mistaken for some kind of half-dead animal, hanging on the
side of a young girl's shoulder.
"You know, I have this
really great book. I think it'd be PEHR-FECTY for you, young
Ed," Alchy offered, pulling out a small, tattered book that read
Anger Management for Those Beyond
Help, "It really helped me when I
took my anger out on harmless things. You should try.
Looks like you've needed something like this for AGES!" She
grinned happily, positively satisfied with herself.
Al
looked at Ed warily, who had resorted to sending glares over at
Alchy, which she was more than happy to ignore. Or probably not
even notice in the first place.
A short length of silence
fell over the three. Alchy stood, hands on her hips, probably
complimenting herself for being the first to bring the though of
anger management into a poor, helpless midget's life. Al held
Ed's arms loosely, wondering if this Alchy girl was worth the
trouble of pursuing and if Ed would take anger management into
consideration and simplify his own life by tons. And Ed stood
across from Alchy, his arms pinned to his back and glaring, wondering
if anyone would notice if he killed the annoying kid.
"Wheeeeellp," Alchy said, clasping her arms behind her back and
beginning to stroll away, "It's been fun kids, but important
peeps such as myself have importanty, peepy, matters to tend to.
Ciao fer now!"
But Ed broke out of Al's grasp and
hurried after the girl, standing in front of her and blocking her
path.
"Not so fast, 'kid'," Ed sneered, enjoying
the ability to call someone else kid. He attempted to tower
over her, which didn't work too well, as he was just a couple
inches taller than her, but the effect seemed to work. Or not.
She stared at him blankly. Ed continued, "We're following
you until you tell us what we need to know!"
The effect
didn't seem to work this time either, seeing as how she was
completely delighted.
"Oh, this is so AWESOME!"
Alchy yelled, pumping her fist into the air, "It's like a road
trip, except we're not really on a road and don't have a car!"
She skipped ahead, leaving Ed and Al behind for a minute.
"Big brother…" Al moaned, slowly moving forward, "What did
you get us into this time…"
But Ed ignored him.
He was to busy looking crestfallen, dragging his feet forward.
"Did you see that?" He asked, sounding thoroughly
disappointed, "She didn't look intimidated. Not once!"
"Hurry up, stupid-heads!" Alchy called from ahead, waving
her arms. She had been able to get pretty far, considering the
time that they were ignoring her.
Ed and Al didn't rush
to get to Alchy, but when they were right behind her, the trio moved
forward. Three silhouettes stomped forward: One of them
bouncing with every step, and the other two slumping, dragging their
feet.
After a somewhat long amount of precious silence,
seeing as how Alchy couldn't seem to get by two minutes without
bursting, Al cleared his throat.
"So," He said, looking
a bit strained to form a conversation if they were supposed to be
traveling with this girl, "Anger Management. Are you…
passed that?"
"Ooooh, waaaaaay passed that!"
Alchy assured him, flopping her hand around as if that helped.
"Oh, that's good," Al said slowly, relaxing just a tad, "What
kind of harmless things did you… harm?"
Alchy grinned,
a joking grin displayed on her face.
"Oh, you know, the
usual. Animals, inanimate object…" She chuckled a bit, her
gaze still on the land before her.
"Heh, heh…" Al
chuckled awkwardly. He found that Ed had pitched in, and they
laughed together uncomfortably.
"How do you think I got
this baby?" Alchy asked, sounding extremely serious, and
patting the messenger's bag that had only resembled a dead animal
earlier.
Ed and Al's heads turned to each other slowly
their faces dim with disgust. And probably a bit of fear.
Silence fell over the three once more for just a few more moments
until a yell could be heard, even from throughout the whole desert.
"YOU MEAN THAT 'THING' IS REAL?!"
- - -
Mmmm'kay,
reviewwwww!!! I need reviews to live, good or bad, so if it's
possible… TAKE A DANG MOMENT OUT OF YOUR LIFE TO REVIEW MY
STORY AND TELL ME IF I'M HORRIBLE OR NOT!!!
-bows-
Gra-ci-aaah!
