Alchy the Break Dancing Savior

Tra La Laaa, thank the Lord for Ooooopenersss!


Okie-dokie, more of the Almighty Alchy! Her story continues, she bothers Le Elrics, death draws closer and closer for her, the usual.
SoOoOo, I'm just here to introduce the star of the show and hope that more people will soon understand her true prowess. And the story continues.

Disclaimer: I own everything in Le World. Except for Fullmetal Alchemist. That, I missed. Ah Welllllll.

Ed flopped down on the box o' sand, which finally collapsed from all of his flopping and plopping. He mumbled angrily as he got up and dusted his pants off, then bent over to find his map under all the sand. After much grumbling, weird looks from Alchy, and Al trying to introduce them but Alchy claiming she already knew, Ed and Al stood across from Alchy, who stood with her hands on her hips.
"So," She said bluntly, staring at Ed and Al with wide eyes, "Why are you two looking for me?"
Ed and Al glanced at each other, and Al spoke up.
"Well, we're looking for this certain stone and we heard that you know something about it, and we were just wondering if you would be able to tell us-" Al started, but he was quickly cut off.
"Okay, look," Ed said, "We need the Philosopher's Stone. You know something about it that we might need. You're going to tell us." But Alchy didn't seem to be listening.
Her eyes widened at 'Philosopher's Stone', and her face looked positively giddy.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, the Phi-lawz-o-pher's Stooooooooone!" She sung, clasping her hands behind her back and swaying back and forth, "Yesh, yesh, I know somethin' that you probably don't, but I shouldn't tellll…"
Ed's eyes widened, and he looked ready to strangle her. Probably was going to. But his face changed, like he was remembering that she knew something they needed to know, so he took a deep breath and clenched his fists.
"Yeah," Ed said, looking strained, "And you're going to tell us. Riiight?" He tried to look pleasant, but ended up looking like someone who had just run away from jail and was trying to find a victim.
But Alchy just ignored him, probably not even noticing, and smiled smugly.
"Eh, I'd rather not," She shrugged it off, "Sounds like work. And I'd rather not work. You know, I actually came her because I didn't want to work. You know, running around town, people ask you favors, you say no, next morning you wake up and they're standing over your bed with a knife in their hands. That kinda stuff." She nodded as if this was total logic.
Okay, now Ed looked like he escaped from jail, was running from the cops, and was trying to find the person who had sold them to the cops. And they had a concealed weapon. A huge one. So it's probably not too concealed.
"Okay then," He seethed, anger playing across his face, "What if we forced you!" He growled, bunching his sleeves up and about to lunge at Alchy. Fortunately, Al grabbed Ed's arms and restrained him from tearing out all of 'Alchy's' annoyingly white hair.
Alchy seemed unfazed, even happy, and started digging through a barely recognizable tan messenger's bag. It was so dirty it could have been mistaken for some kind of half-dead animal, hanging on the side of a young girl's shoulder.
"You know, I have this really great book. I think it'd be PEHR-FECTY for you, young Ed," Alchy offered, pulling out a small, tattered book that read Anger Management for Those Beyond Help, "It really helped me when I took my anger out on harmless things. You should try. Looks like you've needed something like this for AGES!" She grinned happily, positively satisfied with herself.
Al looked at Ed warily, who had resorted to sending glares over at Alchy, which she was more than happy to ignore. Or probably not even notice in the first place.
A short length of silence fell over the three. Alchy stood, hands on her hips, probably complimenting herself for being the first to bring the though of anger management into a poor, helpless midget's life. Al held Ed's arms loosely, wondering if this Alchy girl was worth the trouble of pursuing and if Ed would take anger management into consideration and simplify his own life by tons. And Ed stood across from Alchy, his arms pinned to his back and glaring, wondering if anyone would notice if he killed the annoying kid.
"Wheeeeellp," Alchy said, clasping her arms behind her back and beginning to stroll away, "It's been fun kids, but important peeps such as myself have importanty, peepy, matters to tend to. Ciao fer now!"
But Ed broke out of Al's grasp and hurried after the girl, standing in front of her and blocking her path.
"Not so fast, 'kid'," Ed sneered, enjoying the ability to call someone else kid. He attempted to tower over her, which didn't work too well, as he was just a couple inches taller than her, but the effect seemed to work. Or not. She stared at him blankly. Ed continued, "We're following you until you tell us what we need to know!"
The effect didn't seem to work this time either, seeing as how she was completely delighted.
"Oh, this is so AWESOME!" Alchy yelled, pumping her fist into the air, "It's like a road trip, except we're not really on a road and don't have a car!" She skipped ahead, leaving Ed and Al behind for a minute.
"Big brother…" Al moaned, slowly moving forward, "What did you get us into this time…"
But Ed ignored him. He was to busy looking crestfallen, dragging his feet forward.
"Did you see that?" He asked, sounding thoroughly disappointed, "She didn't look intimidated. Not once!"
"Hurry up, stupid-heads!" Alchy called from ahead, waving her arms. She had been able to get pretty far, considering the time that they were ignoring her.
Ed and Al didn't rush to get to Alchy, but when they were right behind her, the trio moved forward. Three silhouettes stomped forward: One of them bouncing with every step, and the other two slumping, dragging their feet.
After a somewhat long amount of precious silence, seeing as how Alchy couldn't seem to get by two minutes without bursting, Al cleared his throat.
"So," He said, looking a bit strained to form a conversation if they were supposed to be traveling with this girl, "Anger Management. Are you… passed that?"
"Ooooh, waaaaaay passed that!" Alchy assured him, flopping her hand around as if that helped.
"Oh, that's good," Al said slowly, relaxing just a tad, "What kind of harmless things did you… harm?"
Alchy grinned, a joking grin displayed on her face.
"Oh, you know, the usual. Animals, inanimate object…" She chuckled a bit, her gaze still on the land before her.
"Heh, heh…" Al chuckled awkwardly. He found that Ed had pitched in, and they laughed together uncomfortably.
"How do you think I got this baby?" Alchy asked, sounding extremely serious, and patting the messenger's bag that had only resembled a dead animal earlier.
Ed and Al's heads turned to each other slowly their faces dim with disgust. And probably a bit of fear.
Silence fell over the three once more for just a few more moments until a yell could be heard, even from throughout the whole desert.
"YOU MEAN THAT 'THING' IS REAL?!"

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Mmmm'kay, reviewwwww!!! I need reviews to live, good or bad, so if it's possible… TAKE A DANG MOMENT OUT OF YOUR LIFE TO REVIEW MY STORY AND TELL ME IF I'M HORRIBLE OR NOT!!!
-bows-
Gra-ci-aaah!