"Yo, yo ,yo to the guy who gives me yummies" Bucky said to Rob. Rob was in the kitchen chewing on a bite of veggie loaf he had made. "Still eatin' the loser food, I see?" "Bucky" said Rob exasperatedly. "You're the main reason I try to be a vegetarian." "Why?" said Bucky. "I don't care if you're sittin' here, chewin' on animals who have proven themselves too weak and stupid to not be eaten. So, since you didn't tell me how awesome my manuscript was, I mailed it to some people." "Bucky, you don't know anybody, how could you... what were their names?" "They just called themselves "People", Robbo" Bucky said. "And their editing price wasn't cheap, I mean, $29.95 for a year of editing!" "Bucky..." Rob said slowly. "You mailed your warped cat autobiography to a women's magazine." "That's cool" said Bucky. "I dig the chicks." "They're just gonna send you a bunch of magazines and crap!" said Rob, finally losing his patience. "Playing craps?" asked Bucky, perking up. "I'm goin' to rock thier craps playing world." Rob chewed his veggie loaf angrily. He loved Bucky, he really did, but he could be pretty annoying sometimes. Well, maybe all the time. After a few minutes, Bucky came back, doing that spitting/hissing thing he does when he's angry. "Robert" he seethed. "THERE WERE NO CRAPS PLAYERS!" Now give me a de-boned jackalope before I crap in your shoes!." "Bucky, we don't have jackalope around here, you can have veggie loaf if you're hungry." "No!" Bucky screamed. "I won't eat veg'ables! Oh, and I have another chapter for you to read." "Bucky, I'll do it if you don't leave a steaming surprise in my shoes." "Alright" said Bucky grudgingly.
The following is the first chapter of Bucky's autobiography.
One time was hansum bucky cat who hate ferets bad in paper was words that say Feret on the loose and hansum bucky cat say want stop feret so he went out of hous and eat fish wen dun hansum bucky cat go to feretland and see feret hansum bucky cat all kill ferets and say i hate ferets then hansum bucky cat see king bad fungo feret and fungo feret say kill yoo they were going to fight
Rob finished the "chapter" in a few seconds. "Bucky" he said. "This never happened to you." "So..." Bucky countered. "That means it's not an autobiography. If you ever get this published, you're gonna have to say this is fiction, Buck." This remark made Bucky insane, which resulted in an eighty-seven minute spew of gibberish while looking like he was about to hack up a hairball. Satchel came into the room. "Boy, that cheese was good! What's up with Bucky, Rob?" "Ah, he freaked out because I told him nothing in his "autobiography" ever happened to him. "You know" said Satchel over Bucky's screaming. "This mood isn't worse, it's just louder."
