I do not Own Voyager no matter how many delusions I have that I did.
"Close your eyes," instructed Chakotay. Marian did so, and took a deep, shaky breath.
"Good," said Chakotay, noticing. "Try to even out your breath though. Clear your mind, and imagine the light." As he said so, Chakotay lit a candle and the light flickered around his quarters. And for the next minute, the only sounds that could be heard was the sounds of breathing. Marian's face was tensed in concentration.
"Relax your face. You're trying to hard. Feel the good in you, all the calming thoughts and experiences and let them surface. Think back, and push those bad experiences out with your exhale. Push your unpleasant feelings and hurt out as well." Chakotay slowly rose and turned on the music manually. His heart leapt as his pupil's face relaxed. Her body began to slouch more comfortably.
"Now," he said, taking her hand in his, and guided it up to neck to feel her pulse. "Feel this, and think about it. What is it? What purpose does it serve?"
"It regulates the blood flow and breathing patterns," Marian responded.
"Think beyond the scientific reasons for it. What does it truly serve as?"
Marian fought to deny the answer, but she knew that Chakotay was giving her his intense stare, and expected an answer.
"It's one of the ties of life…scientifically."
"And spiritually," Chakotay corrected. "This is part of you. This is one of the things that is keeping you alive. What if you didn't have this?"
"I wouldn't exist in this universe, and there wouldn't be any pain or suffering," said Marian easily. Chakotay wasn't buying it.
"Yes and no. You wouldn't be existing in this world, but you wouldn't have met me, or Harry Kim. You wouldn't have your powers or seen a Nebula. You wouldn't exist at all."
"What do you mean?" asked Marian, confusion written on her face.
"Relax for a moment," said Chakotay. "It's life that gives us our humanity and forms us as people. The experiences and the people we are surrounded by is what gives us our friendships, struggles, and happiness. It's natural and human to be in turmoil because of life. Life exists to test us, and to give us the experiences to be ourselves. There are going to be times that we are cut down like a weed, but we also have the joys like marriage, and doing well in school."
"I understand, but it's hard to live out," said Marian. "I want knowledge about life. I want to understand more. I see too much than what's good for me."
"That's what we must also learn, but family and friends help us so much; more than we think."
"But I don't have family."
"Yes you do. We're your family, and we're your friends."
"I…know. Thank you Chakotay."
"Now, clear you mind," instructed Chakotay. "Embrace your emotions and work on reconciling them. Okay?"
"I will."
And so Chakotay left her there with herself, deep in concentration. Captain Janeway was just coming down the hallway as he exited his quarters.
"Hello Commander," she said, smiling. "What brings you out at this time?"
"Oh, I was just helping Marian," he said tiredly. Janeways nodded.
"And how is she?"
"I'm not sure yet," he answered. "I'm just waiting for her."
"Do you think it's wise to allow her in there by herself?" Kathryn asked with concern. Chakotay resisted the urge to shrug indifferently.
"I think so. She seems a little more comfortable than this morning." Kathryn again nodded in confirmation to display her complete confidence in her first officer. Suddenly the com. whistled.
"Kes to Chakotay," came the calm childish voice of the assistant nurse. Both of the officers' heads snapped up in concern.
"Go ahead Kes," said Chakotay, hiding the fear in his voice.
"Commander, Marian is-" She got no further for both Chakotay and Kathryn leapt into his quarters. The scene was one of agony.
"I'm sorry Commander. It was too much," said Marian, her arm burned. "I couldn't help it. I'm so sorry. Please keep helping me." Kathryn knelt and wrapped her arms around Marian and cradled her while Chakotay called the doctor.
